Note: AU. Quinn never went to McKinley or lived in Ohio.
Disclaimer: The characters of Glee are not mine and no infringement is intended.
I'd like to say that this fic is a birthday gift for my friend and she's also my awesome beta. Thank you, Kara. This is for you.
"Noah, you gotta be kidding me," she hissed at the boy in front of her. "Please tell me this is not what I think it is," she stomped her foot down already wanting to punch him in the face.
"This is not what it is?" He tried, suddenly nervous and uncertain of his birthday surprise. He ran his hand through his mohawk sighing heavily. "Come on Jew babe, it'll be cool, just relax a bit."
Her eyes widened almost comically and that's when he knew he was in trouble. "Relax?! You fucking bought me a hooker!" He was definitely in trouble, Rachel Berry swore only when she was really mad. "A hooker for my fucking birthday!" She exclaimed still not believing this was happening. When he said he had the best birthday gift ever, she actually thought he was taking her to some Broadway musical or maybe take a trip to Disneyland with all their friends or anything else just not this. Instead of Broadway or Disneyland he took her to the hall of a building with a particular apartment where a particular girl was apparently already waiting for her.
"I can't believe this is happening, why would you even do that?" To show him she was really pissed she punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow!" He whined. "That actually hurt!" When he didn't see any flash of guilt in his friend's eyes he continued. "It wasn't even my idea." She sent him a glare. "I swear! It was Kurt's and we all agreed that you needed to get laid so Santana found this," he paused for a second, "girl and my job was to bring you here."
Flashback:
"Noah, can you please put your feet down? They surely don't belong on the coffee table," she pointed at his feet lazily lying on the table. He grunted before doing what he'd been told. "Thank you. I'd appreciate it if you used the floor from now on." He grunted again locking eyes with Santana who just rolled her eyes.
"Jesus Rachel, you need to take a break," she spoke up from her seat watching her roommate cleaning the television before moving to clean the coffee table. "Also stop cleaning for Christ's sake!" She stood up, making her girlfriend who was sitting in her lap squeal, and took Rachel's hands to stop her from moving. "Berry, you know I love you and shit but you're going loco."
Rachel just stared at her for a second then removed her hands from Santana's. "Well, excuse me if I want to have a clean apartment, Santana. If you like to live in a mess, that's fine but I'm not going to live in one."
Santana let out an annoyed sound. "Kurt, tell her something," she pleaded the boy who was sitting on the couch with his brand new laptop on his lap. He glanced at them. "Rachel, Santana is right, you're going crazy lately. You seem incredibly frustrated and I'm sure it's from the lack of sex." Rachel snorted at his words but couldn't stop the blush on her cheeks. "Should we get you a vibrator for your birthday?" He asked seriously which only caused Rachel to blush even more.
"Don't you dare," she huffed, turned around and left a confused Kurt behind her.
"What did I do? I was being serious. Maybe it'd help with her sexual frustration," he pointed out the obvious fact. Suddenly his face lightened up causing Santana to smirk. She knew this face. It's a face of an idea in his pretty head. "I have an incredibly awesome idea!"
"And I thought you were my friends," she muttered. Thinking if this was by any chance a good plan he took her into his arms. "Of course we are Rach, that's why we did it."
"Yeah Berry, because watching you being all horny without release really gets on my nerves," they both turned around to spot a smug looking Santana with Brittany and with Kurt right behind, all three of them grinning at Puck and Rachel.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Puck asked raising his eyebrow. "I thought I was going to do it alone."
Santana crossed her arms. "No fucking way I'm gonna miss this. We all wanna see Berry to get her sexy on," she said with a satisfied smirk on her face.
Puck saw Rachel stiffen next to him. "Yes well, I think I'm leaving. Thanks for the present though, guys," she tried to walk past them desperate for an exit until a strong hand stopped her. She looked up to see Brittany's puppy blue eyes sadly staring at her. "But Rachel, you seem so sad lately. I don't like seeing you sad because then I'm sad and when I'm sad Santana doesn't get her sexy times and then we're all sad. And you don't want us to be sad, do you?" She asked still holding Rachel's hand and Rachel knew that she couldn't say no to Brittany. They all knew and that's why they're here.
So she just shook her head. "No. I guess I can at least meet her."
"And fuck her," Santana muttered under her breath as Rachel glared at her.
She watched Kurt who had been quiet all this time to make a couple of steps towards her until they were face to face. He gently grabbed her by the shoulders. "Honey, as much as I hate to say this, you desperately need to have sex because your sexual frustration is literally screaming through your pretty eyes. Now I know you're still a virgin and this is not how you wanted to lose your virginity but you'll be 25 in two days, you're a rising Broadway star living in New York and this is getting ridiculous. You've turned down every person we tried to set you up with," from the corner of her eyes she saw Santana nodding at this. "And may I add that some of those people were ridiculously hot and everyone in this city would tap that." He took a deep breath. "We are your best friends; we want you to be happy and satisfied, so yes we bought you a prostitute for your birthday. Now let me assure you that this girl is a professional and when I say she's sexy then trust me, she really is. Right, Santana? You found her," he glanced at his friend who nodded frantically.
"That chick is hot as fuck. I actually wanted her to join me and Britt but Brittany said we had to keep her for you," she frowned and her girlfriend grinned and kissed her cheek.
"Yes, we gotta be nice to Rachel and let her have her first." Rachel grimaced. The idea of sharing the girl inside of the apartment with her friends didn't sound exactly thrilling to her.
"So," Kurt continued. "Do us a favor, go upstairs, the apartment's number's 23, have a cup of coffee with her and if you like her, let her fuck you." She blushed with deep red at his words. Puck and Santana knowingly smirked at each other and Brittany grinned happily. "If you don't like her, well then at least we tried," he finished, gave her a quick hug and patted her ass. "Go get her, tiger." She took a glance at her friends, all of them encouraged her with their eyes, so she decided to give in, let out a heavy nervous sigh and looked up the stairs.
"Okay, I'm going. Wish me luck," she said before slowly and unsure taking her steps up the stairs.
"We'll be back in the morning," she heard Puck yell after her. Then they were gone and she found herself facing apartment number 23, nervously looking at the door. She felt her palms sweating, not sure what to do next. Maybe she still had time to change her mind and leave, be back tomorrow and pretend she was there all night. Her thoughts got suddenly interrupted by the most beautiful woman she's ever seen who just opened the front door smirking at her.
"You're late," she spoke up and that's when Rachel Berry was a goner.