Invader ZimDefective

by Amberkitty123

Zephyr may be my blood-sucking stalker, but I have other problems to deal with! The Dib and his allies are no match for me and mine! R&R my oh so amazing Zimmyness story, human. The pants command YOOOU!

I walked down the sidewalk, my wig bouncing up and down with each step I took. Glances fell on me as I passed by some tall humans. I straightened my posture and cleared my throat to show them that I had business to attend to. These pathetic humans have no idea that I am not one of their own! They suspect nothing! My ingenious disguise is working! My lenses were white with cadet pupils that went along with a glossy-looking black covered my crimson bug-like eyes and black scythe antennas. I waited at the bus stop, which all of the human children were required to do to get to skool. The bus pulled up. I walked up the stairs after I let a few human children get on before me. These 'manners' would make me look more normal. I had seen them on TV when Gir turned it on. Today was my first day at the human skool. The skool year started more than six months ago, the day I was assigned my secret mission by my Tallests. I sat down in a two-seater. A few kids to the left exchanged whispers and chuckles as they stared at me. They were probably referring to my pale green skin, along with the loss of ears and a nose. I crossed my arms as the bus stopped. Two children piled on. One was playing a video game. She wore a black dress with long striped sleeves, leggings, shoes, and a skull necklace. Her eyes were closed as she looked down at the game, pressing the buttons repeatedly. Her dark violet hair was pointed in front of her face. The other human had a black trench coat, black pants and boots, along with a blue shirt with a neutral face on it. His glasses rested up on his nose. The human's black hair was formed in a scythe shape. "So, yeah, Gaz. They might come today! You never know!"

"You've been talking about this ever since you claimed that someone's coming! And you know what, Dib?! That was six months ago! You know what else?! I don't care! Either you shut up or I'll make you wish that I was never born…" The human continued playing her game. They walked down the isle. Dib stopped in his tracks and gawked at me. I stared back at him.

"I'll sit here today, Gaz." He sat down in the two-seater in front of me.

"Whatever." Gaz walked to the back of the bus and sat down.

Dib swung his legs into the isle and looked back at me. I leaned away from him. He examined me and narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong with your skin?"

"It's a skin condition," I answered as I lowered my head.

"Of course it is…" He looked down at my gloved hands. "Why do you only have three fingers? Were you born that way? What about your nose? Your ears?! Is that part of you skin condition?! Huh? Huh!"

"Yes!" I started to get frustrated.

"How long have you been here?"

"Meaning…?"

"Were you left behind by your own kind?"

"What?!"

"My name's Dib. What's yours?" Dib pulled out a small notepad out of his backpack, as well as a camera.

"I AM ZIM!" I shouted and clenched my fists. He took some pictures of me. The white flash blinded me. I rubbed my eyes and glanced back at him. He started writing stuff down. I spotted 'Swollen Eyeball Network' and 'Mothman', then my name on a couple of lines down. 'Appears to be blinded by bright flashes.'

"What's your home planet's name?"

"Why would you want to know?!" I yelled, clenching my fists, but then caught people looking at me. "I mean… I'm normal!" I looked away and out the window. My face felt hot as Dib continued to watch me and write endlessly.

The bus stopped, and the doors opened. All of the children got out. A giant skool stood in front of me. I walked up the stairs and entered through the doors. Long hallways contained doors and lockers on each side. I followed behind Dib from a distance. He entered a class. I slammed the door open after a few seconds. I stepped in and examined the classroom. The creepy, old, pale teacher with white hair in a bun, wearing a black dress and boots, along with glasses that covered her eyes, slithered over. She towered over me. I leaned back as she growled in my face. "You look like a doomed miserable child! Introduce yourself to the class. Then say a few words after that, and then be quiet for the rest of the horrible skool year!" She pushed me to the front.

I scanned through the children, and then spotted Dib to the far right, next to the window. I gritted my teeth and growled as he glared at me. A bolt of electricity climbed up my spine. "I am ZIM! Do not mind me and my skin condition. I was born with it and it is as normal as all of you other dirty monsters. Just ignore me and we'll get along just fine."

"Take your seat now, Zim! Today's lesson will be on space and how the universe will eventually implode in on itself!" the 'human' teacher started to rant.

"ZIM! What are you doing here?!?" Dib shouted from across the classroom as he stood up.

"I'm kind of learning here in this horrible class. What about you?"

"No you're not! You're here to take over Earth!" He darted to my desk and leaned close to my face. "Admit it, alien scum!"

His expression of obsessive… eager… insaneness made me flinch. I slowly pushed him away. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine, Zim! You want it to be that way? Okay then!"

"I want what to be that way?"

Dib pouted. "Never mind! Just be on your guard, space boy!"

I jumped out of my seat as the bell rang. I turned my head to Dib. He was an inch or so taller than me. I sprinted out the door after some humans and observed as they walked through two large doors. Dib stepped in front of me. He narrowed an eye and grinned. "Why do you keep bothering me?! Leave! Go away!" I waved my hand in a shooing motion.

He grabbed my gloved wrist and pulled me towards him. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you! I'm going to expose you for the horrible alien menace that you are and scoop your insides out!"

I shuddered and attempted to pry away from his grasp. Gaz walked up to the side of us. "Dib! We're going to lunch! Come on!" She grabbed Dib's collar and pulled him to the 'lunchroom', dragging me along with him. Gaz opened an eye and stared at me.

"Lunch…?" I looked over to the doors.

"It's what human beings eat in the middle of the day. But, of course, you didn't know that because you're not from here." Dib let go of me and stood up.

I frowned and scrambled away from him. "Nonsense! Despite your big head, you are quite stupid."

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" He pounced at me.

"DIB! Lunchroom! NOW!" Gaz stormed over to him.

"But, Gaz! There's an alien! I have to expose him!" Dib pointed in my face. I swerved around him cautiously, and then pushed his arm back down to his side.

"I'm not going to let your weirdness ruin my day!" Gaz grabbed him by the throat, and then pulled him to the doors.

I marched beside Dib, who was gasping for air. I cackled at his struggling, and then noticed that he was glowering at me. I pushed open the doors. Gaz let go of Dib and sat down at a table where only a few kids sat on the other side. Dib stayed a few inches away from me. I narrowed my eyes at a deserted table to my right. "Come on, Zim. You can sit next to us." Dib wrapped his hand around my arm.

"ARE YOU INSANE?! Release ZIM!" I kneed him in the side.

"OW!" Dib's grip loosened up. I pulled away and sat down at the table I saw before.

"DIB! I'll plunge you into a world of darkness in which there is no return if you don't sit down and EAT!" Gaz yelled from across the room.

Dib mumbled and grabbed a silver platform with mush on it. He walked over to Gaz and sat down as he eyed me. He scooped white-yellowish mush into his mouth with a spork. I gagged at the sight. "This horrible human food is disgusting! Pathetic humans! Well, it has to be better than working at FoodCourtia for the rest of my life." I looked back at Dib who was typing quickly on a laptop.

"Gaz! My friend from Cape May is coming here to help me with investigating for the paranormal! He sent me an email! He said he'll be here tomorrow!" Dib smiled and ate some more food. "He also said that he's going to join the Swollen Eyeball Network so we can contact each other whenever we want."

"Does it look like I care?" Gaz growled.

"Um… No, but he's going to stay in our house for a while, so you should care."

"An obsessed freak like you is going to be living with us?!" Gaz opened her eyes and looked like her head was going to explode.

"He's not a freak! He's awesome! He caught a ghost at home. His sightings were put on Mysterious Mysteries, too."

Gaz punched him in the face with anger. He fell back and looked like he was out cold. Gaz walked away like nothing happened. I closed an eye as I sprinted to where Dib laid. He moaned of pain.

A cafeteria lady walked up to us. "Excuse me, young man? Can you take this child to the nurse's office?" she asked me.

"Um… Okay…" A floating metal tray slipped out of my Pak. It slid under the laptop and followed behind me. I picked Dib up and carried him to the 'nurse's office'. I opened the door. "Hello. I am normal. This horrible human was punched in the face." I held him up.

"Just set him on the bed over there." The lady at the counter pointed to a white bed to the right. I set him down on it and started out the door. "Oh, excuse me? Can you stay with the child? I have a meeting." The woman walked out the door and closed it. I narrowed my eyes and walked back over to Dib. The tray with the laptop on it stayed beside me. I looked at the screen on the laptop.

Dib,

Hey, what's up? I caught the ghost that was in my attic! Mysterious Mysteries liked the video that I taped of it and put it on TV! Oh yeah, my mom and dad are going out of town and said that I can't be home alone. So I've decided to come to your town and stay with you until they come back. We can figure some things out that you have going on at your place. I'll be there tomorrow before skool starts. See ya there!

Drayne

"Drayne…? Who is this Drayne!? I demand to know who this human is!" My fist slammed on the bed.

"HEY!" Dib yelled. "Why were you reading my email? It's mine!" Dib grabbed his laptop away from me. "Why am I here anyway?! Did you plant a probe in my brain or steal an organ from me?! Give it back!" Dib gripped my collar.

"You are a very paranoid human! The scary human female knocked you out."

"Gaz?"

"No, the pizza salesman!" I smacked his hand away. "Now, who is this Drayne?!"

"My fellow paranormal investigator from Cape May! He's an expert like me! He'll see past your disguise and then we'll expose you to the whole world!"

I turned away from him. "Your horrible friend will not be interfering with my mission, Dib!"

"Your mission?! You were assigned to destroy us?!"

"Yes, I was. Impending Doom 2 will spread across the entire universe!" I faced him again. "Your pathetic planet will have the honor to be conquered by ZIM!"

"Impending Doom 2…?"

"Yes!"

"Why '2'?"

"There was an incident that occurred during Impending Doom 1."

"What was the incident?"

"My home planet BLEW UP, DIB! Irk was destroyed by a death machine!"

"Who did it?"

"Iblewitup." I talked fast so he couldn't understand me.

"What?"

"I blew it up! It was a terrible mistake!"

"You blew up your home planet?!"

"Didn't I already say that?! YES!"

"Why would a jerk like you do that?!"

"What on Irk is a jerk? Jerky?! Do I look like jerky to your blindness complexion?! I AM ZIM!"

"I said jerk! Not jerky! It's an insult, you idiot!" He tightened his hands.

"I was a little too…RRR! SHORT to see over the controls."

"That's just dumb. So what does your race plan to do after they destroy everything?"

"Hm… I'm… not sure…" There was an awkward silence.

"Who's leading your race?!"

"My Tallest! They are superior to everyone!"

"Your leaders are just taller than you?"

"Yes…"

"Don't you care how the other races feel about your evil plot?"

"Invaders should not care about the inferior beings that are going to be enslaved. Irkens are superior to all!"

"You sound like you've been brainwashed by your own species!"

"I would call it proper thinking."

"It's nowhere near proper thinking! No one deserves to be enslaved except your evil alien race! You should be in a cage right now for trying to destroy us all!"

"That is my job, Dib-stink!"

"It's a horrible job! You have a strange way of looking at things! Not everyone wants to have control over others. It's my job to protect Earth from unwelcome invaders! That includes you!"

I jolted towards him. "You can try with your amateur human ally Dib, but you shall not succeed!"

"That's what you think!" Dib brought out a pair of handcuffs and locked it around my wrist. He closed the other one around the end of the bed.

"RRR!" I tugged my arm back. Dib laughed as I struggled to get out of the handcuffs.

"That's what I think about your 'superior' race!" He took out another pair of handcuffs and bolted it around another part of the bed to my free wrist.

"Once I am free from these horrible handcuffs, I WILL DESTOY YOOOOU!" I leaned towards him and clenched my fists.

"I still wanted more information on you and your race, space boy!"

Chills brushed over me. "What more could you possibly want to know?!"

"What that thing is on your back and its purpose, how you got here, what organs you have, the-"

"Fire away, pathetic human! You will be destroyed in the end anyway!"

"Okay, what's that thing on your back?"

"A Pak."

"Do all Irkens have one?"

"Yes."

"What do you do with it?"

"It serves as an energy manipulator and contains the Irken's personality and memory inside."

"Don't you have a brain for memory like humans?"

"Yes, but the Pak is what feeds our bodies energy, which functions our brains and other organs. If it is disconnected, then-" I stared at Dib's anxious face. "Never mind that!"

"What happens? What happens!?"

"RRR! Change the subject!"

"Fine! But I'll figure out what happens sooner or later. Hmmm… how did you get here?"

"My Voot Cruiser. It is an Irken ship."

"An alien ship? Cool!"

"Yes…So it is…"

"How long did it take for you to get here?"

"Six months."

"What did you do the whole time?"

"My robot slave was singing his 'DOOM song' the entire time! It DROVE ME MAD!"

"Is it that bad?"

"You have NO idea…"

Dib closed an eye. "Um… Next question. What organs do you have besides a brain?"

"A squeegily spooch."

"That's a weird name for an organ… Okay, what else?"

"That's it."

"You only have two organs?!"

"Yes."

"How are you breathing then?!"

"Well our squeegily spooches are divided into three parts. The bottom serves as a stomach, the middle is the lungs, and the top is a heart."

"I thought that you would have more organs than two."

"You thought WRONG! And different species have different sets of organs."

"Okay then. How tall are your leaders?"

"6' 5" or taller."

"That's tall… How tall should an Irken be?"

"The average Irken height is 4', but they grow over time like your race."

Dib grabbed a thick metal square and pulled out this long yellow ruler attached to it. He kept one end on the floor and the other near my head. I closed my eyes and turned my head away, thinking it was a weapon of some sort. I opened one of my eyes slowly. "Three feet? You're as short as a human kid! Or shorter… Was someone experimenting on you and something went terribly wrong?"

"I was born the same way all the other smeets were!"

"Smeets?"

"Irken younglings…"

"Oh." Dib checked the time. "That's enough information for now. Skool is almost over. Hey Zim, I recorded the whole thing! Ha!" Dib closed his laptop and ran out the door.

"What?! WAIT! DIB! DON'T LEAVE ME IN THIS HORRIBLE SKOOL!"

Dib's head poked in through the doorway. "Too bad! See ya!" He turned off the light and closed the door.

My eye twitched. "Great! Now I have to terminate the recording after I get out of here! That irritating human will SUFFER! Along with his ally! Wait a minute… Couldn't I have used lasers to cut through the cuffs…? Eh… Oh well." Lasers came out of my Pak and destroyed the handcuffs. "Dib has underestimated me! I AM ZIM!" I opened the door and darted out.

"Everyone underestimates me because of my height! My size is fine! Is it my IQ? No! My IQ is way above intelligent! Rrr! I don't get it! What makes me so different than the other invaders?!" I marched down the sidewalk. "Drayne? If this human is as annoying as Dib, the two could do such horrible things to me! Destroying my base, wiping the memory in my Pak, capturing my advanced robot slave!" I squinted my eyes and activated the guidance chip that I installed in my Pak. "The Dib…the Dib… Ah." I ran down the street to where I saw Dib entering through a door. Blue electric lasers connected by poles were planted all over the front yard. A transmission screen came out of my Pak. "Gir!"

"Yes…?" Gir's face appeared on the screen.

"Gir. Come here." I turned off the transmission and waited. Gir came flying towards me with smoke trailing behind him. He turned off the engines and dropped next to me. "Hi!" He waved.

"Gir! I need you to help me destroy the recording on Dib's laptop!"

"Who's Dib?"

"A large-headed human who is now my mortal enemy!"

"Oooooo… WAFFLES!"

"Just come on! Good job putting on your disguise before coming here, Gir!" I patted his dog head.

"Meow!"

I rang the doorbell. It made a ding-dong tone. I smiled and pressed it again and again. "Irk, this thing is addicting!"

"WEE HOO!" Gir joined in.

The door slammed open. I stopped pressing it and stared at Gaz who was giving me a death glare. "Who are you?! Why are you at my house?!"

Dib's voice came from inside. "Who is it?! Who is it?!" He appeared next to Gaz. He narrowed his eyes as he saw me. "What are you doing here, Zim?!"

"Hand over the horrible recording and I won't wipe your brain!" I held out my hand. "Yet…" I mumbled.

"No way! I need to show it to Drayne!"

"GIR! Retrieve the recording!" I clenched my fists and looked at Gir who stopped ringing the doorbell.

"WOO! Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom DOOM!" Gir ran down the street and disappeared.

"Um… I'm guessing that's your 'loyal' robot…" Dib stared at me.

"Hardly! Now give to ZIM!"

"Nuh uh." Dib shook his head. He took a step towards me.

Another voice came from the house. "Son? Who's at the door?" A tall man with a hairdo similar to Dib's, in a white lab coat, black boots, and blue goggles covering his eyes stood beside Dib and Gaz.

"Dad, this is Zim. He's an alien here to take over Earth!"

The man chuckled. "My poor, insane son. Do you two know each other?"

I stared up at the man. "Eh… Not rea-"

Dib covered my mouth. "Yeah, we know each other. In fact, we're close friends. I invited Zim over." Dib smirked at me as he pulled me inside. The door closed.

The tall human held out a hand to me. "Hello Zim. I'm Dib's father, Professor Membrane! I study REAL science!"

"I study a form of science myself." I shook his hand.

"Really? What kind?"

"You might say I'm a weapons designer."

"Okay. Run along then. Son, don't drive your little foreign friend into the paranormal now. You three have fun." Prof. Membrane walked down some stairs. Gaz sat down on the couch and started playing a videogame.

"I'm out of here," I said in a low tone. I turned around to face the door. Dib stepped in front of me. I shoved him out of my way and scurried out the door.

"RRR! That HORRIBLE human!" I entered my house. "The Dib shall PAY!" I kicked the TV. "I could've destroyed the recording by now if it weren't for the pathetic human's ATTITUDE!" I slammed my fist on the wall. It made a dent. "Something has to be done about this Dib! If his ally and him-" I glanced around the room. "Gir?"

Dancing Studio

Gir is seen break dancing in the middle of a teenager crowd on a dance floor.

My Base

"Something important must've come up…" I slipped off my disguise and set it down on the end table next to the couch. "Hm… I should call my Tallest. They should be proud to see me after six months. Computer! Send a transmission to the Massive's ship." I watched as the strange monkey picture was replaced with a transmission screen. My antennas perked up as I heard the door open and close quietly. I turned my head to the door, expecting to see Gir. A chill crawled up my spine. No one stood in the doorway.

"Zim?!" Purple's voice startled me.

I looked back at the screen. Red stared with his jaw dropped. "Yes! It is I! Invader Zim, reporting sirs." I saluted.

"I thought you were dead!" Red dropped his drink.

"Why would you think that?" I frowned.

"Well, actually we were hoping th –"

"Hoping that you were alive!" Red smiled.

Purple nodded. "Yes! And so you are, so… bye!"

"But-" I heard faint laughing as the transmission was cut. My antennas lowered. A cold hand grabbed one and pulled it back. "OW!" I covered my antennas and turned around. Dib stood there, arms crossed. "DIB! Leave my home! Stop following me! GO!" I shoved him towards the door.

"Those aliens were your leaders?" Dib jerked me to the couch.

"Ye-Wait! No! They were um… they were from planet… Blorch."

Dib narrowed his eyes and walked towards me. I bit my lip as he read my expression. The silence was killing me.

Go for his throat!

No, trained Irken invaders don't do that.

So? The Dib gets to have his fun, why not Zim?

Zim has sense!

Zim shall do whatever he wants! Destroy the human, ZIM!!!

No, don't! You'll kill yourself trying!

You like to destroy, don't you? You have a chance! He's right in FRONT OF YOU!

Don't do it!!!!

Do it!

No!

Yes!

No!

For Irk's sake, KILL THE HUMAN!

RRR! For Irk's sake, don't kill the human!

I trembled as the two sides of me fought each other.

Life!

Death!

LIFE!

DEATH!

A bolt of electricity traveled through my body. "Zim?" Dib cocked an eyebrow.

Sweet sauce!

Sour Sauce!

WAIT! How'd we get to sauce?!

I don't know… Oh yeaaahh… DEATH!

Irk! SHUT YOUR NOISE TUBE!

"Zim!" Dib grabbed my collar and shook me. I winced as I snapped back into reality. The voices in my head faded. I panted as the silence came creeping back. "Um… I'm going back home, then."

"You're still here?! LEAVE!" I shoved him out the door.

"I just said-"

I growled at him and slammed the door in his face.

"Whatever, Zim! But once Drayne gets here, you won't have a chance to rest!"

I opened the door. "Be gone with you!" I shut the door again. I watched through the window as Dib grunted and stomped down the sidewalk towards his house. "Inferior HUMANS!" I kicked the door over and over. "Rrr! Rrr! RRR! Wait a minute! Irkens should not have these anger issues! What is wrong with Zim!? Computer! Scan my Pak for any malfunctions."

A red scanner went up and down my body. "Sir," the computer responded, "There's nothing wrong with your Pak. But you do have a completely different bio-signature than the other Irken invaders."

"Completely different?! You just mean my personality, right?"

"Um, no. I mean different ways of looking at things, your IQ, your height…"

"But I'm fine!"

"Well you hardly have common sense. Not to mention your listening problems. You're the shortest Irken of your race!"

"That was only a small mistake! I was just given life a little too early."

"You were in that chamber for as long as all the other normal invaders, though."

"There are different sized Irkens! So what, I'm the shortest. That does not make Zim any different."

"Why do you talk in third person?"

"Zim does not- SILENCE! I do not pay you to torment me!"

"You don't pay me at all… Um, I'm going to disable the weapons in your Pak. Just incase they have a virus or something."

"Be quiet!" I crossed my arms. "Where's Gir?"

"He's dancing at an academy…"

I sighed. "Hm… I need to think of a plan to destroy this planet. And I have the perfect idea!" I ran to the trashcan and jumped in.

I arrived in the Making Stuff Room and walked over to the experiments. "I have seen these HORRIBLE human furry monsters called 'pets'! Humans love to play with them, and it's sickening! I shall build an army of robotic GERBILS! The gerbils will destroy everything in their path! But it'll take about a week to perfect them. I'll have to save that idea for back-up plans." I grabbed a high-tech notepad and wrote it down.

Hours and hours had passed. I stared angrily at the barely empty notepad. I flung it across the room. "Irk! How do all the other invaders think of plans?! All they do is blend in and then blow everything up when the creatures least expect it!" I paused. "Oh well." I approached the elevator. "Elevator, take me to the house." The elevator opened. I stepped in. I squinted my eyes as it opened back up. The upper house was bright from the morning sun, but unpleasantly warm. I darted into the living room. Gir sat on the couch, watching the screen closely. A monkey growling showed on the TV. "That monkey…" I narrowed my eyes at it.

Gir turned his head to me and smiled brightly. "Hi master! I made waffles!" He held out a plate of waffles to me.

"GYAH!" I jumped behind an end table to take cover. "GIR! Dispose of that FILTH!"

"Awww…" Gir stuffed the food into his mouth and swallowed.

I shuddered, then slipped on my disguise and opened the door. "Gir! I'm going to skool. Do not let anyone into the house."

"Okay!" Gir ran around the room as he screamed.

I closed the door behind me and headed towards the skool. "Forget the bus. It's a portable yellow jail that makes children suffer from one another!" I passed by Dib's house as he came out.

Dib walked with another boy his height. The human wore a dark, green, long-sleeve shirt that read: Crazy is my middle name, black baggy jeans, and white sneakers. His dark brown hair covered most of his head, and only a few strands dangled in his face. His eyes were a deep green color. His nose and ears looked similar to Dib's. "I can't believe that you're here! I have so many things to show you and-" Dib spotted me. "ZIM!"

"Zim?" Drayne asked. "Oh yes, that alien thing."

"Thing…?" I mumbled to myself.

"I'd like to meet the alien."

"Okay, come on." Dib grabbed him by the wrist and ran towards me. I froze as the two skidded to a stop in front of me. "Zim! This is Drayne. He's into paranormal like me." Dib smirked. Drayne examined me. "Drayne, this is the evil-minded alien, Zim."

Drayne took out a scanner. "Nice to meet you, alien scum!" Drayne snickered at me. I tilted my head to the left as he held out a hand to me. He grabbed my wrist and threw me into Dib. Dib pinned me on the sidewalk and gripped my collar.

Again… Another chance to destroy someone! Don't let it slip by you!

Don't listen to him, Zim! Destroying is bad for you!

But it feels so good!

Um… Kind of… Until all of the guilt comes crashing down on your head!

That's a risk you'll have to take!

Don't do it!

Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Eh, whatever. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

I kicked Dib off of me. I hissed and lunged at him. He gasped for air and struggled under my grasp around his throat. "ZIM!" Drayne yelled. I turned my head to him with wide, dangerous eyes and a crooked grin. "Release Dib! Now!" he commanded. I looked back down at Dib. His head was turning a light blue. I let go of his neck and spun around to face Drayne. "Don't be like that. You act like you're being possessed by a raging demon!"

"Well its hard not to with this human around!" I gestured towards Dib. I cackled as he got up and tried to grab my throat. I swerved to the left. He tried again and again.

"Come on, space boy! Stay still so I can strangle the LIFE OUT OF YOU!" Dib pounced near me and clutched my wrists.

"Zim needs restraining!" Drayne yelled and pinned my chest to the ground.

"No! Get off of ZIM!" I kicked my legs.

"No way! You're evil and insane! Dib, hold him!"

I breathed quickly as Drayne ran off. Dib took his place. "You know, I really want to strangle you right now!"

"Then why aren't you?!" We glared at each other.

"Because I don't know what Drayne is doing!"

"I AM ZIM! And ZIM will destroy YOU!"

"Mhm. Right...Just like in skool."

I growled. Drayne appeared next to him with a medium sized cage. I twitched as Drayne opened it and shoved me in. He locked the door behind me. Dib started laughing as I turned back to them. "YOU!" I pointed to Drayne. "You're next on my destroy list!" I shunned as Drayne ignored me and dragged the cage back to Dib's house. I tugged at the bars as Dib leaned down to my eye level.

"Cool! An alien pet! I always wanted one." Drayne squeezed his hand in-between the bars and patted me on the head.

"PET?! I am an invader! Zim is no horrible human pet!" I argued.

"Yes, but an alien invader for a pet is fun! You get to play 'dissect the pet' and teach them how to obey and behave."

"YOU HUMANS ARE INSANE! Release me or SUFFER THE WRATH OF ZIM!"

"Now, now, Zim. You have to behave."

I bared my zipper-like teeth at him. My eye twitched as we entered Dib's house. "My dad's at work right now, so no one will know. Well, maybe Gaz will."

"To the lab!" Drayne ran to the stairs with my cage. Dib followed behind us.

"WHAT?!" I yelled bleakly. Drayne set me down. He and Dib rummaged through some devices. I breathed heavily and pushed on the bars forcefully. One of them dented. I smiled and pushed on it again. I quietly slipped out and ran up the stairs, then out of the miserable house.

I pulled on my antennas. "GIR!" I searched around. "Gir? Oh, that HORRIBLE robot! Computer! Enable the bases weapons! There are two human maniacs that want me as their PET! GNOMES! Guard the front yard! Computer! Protect the base! Parental units! Protect the house! Computer, enable the weapons in my Pak as well. I don't care if there is a virus! I need them! I might be in a hostage situation!"

"Sir, they're only humans. I think you're overreacting." The computer answered.

"They are not only humans! They have sense! Unlike the others, who can't even see past my ingenious disguise."

"All you have on are lenses and a wig…"

"Do not comment on Zim's disguise!"

"Well, it's true."

"Shut your noise tube! Just obey me…" I peeked out the window. Dib's face was right on the other side. I jumped back. "Computer! Enable my weapons!"

"Sir, the virus?"

"Just enable them!"

"Fine."

I felt something unlock in my Pak. I looked back out the window. Dib was gone. I shuddered and backed away from it. "Computer! Where are the intruders located?!"

"No one stepped foot in the perimeter of your house yet."

"What?! I just saw the Dib, he-"

"You're probably hallucinating. No one invaded your base."

"Hallucinating…?"

"Yes. It's when you see something that's not really there."

"What causes it?!"

"Lack of sleep, or fear."

"For all I know, everything I see right now can be a hallucination!"

"This isn't. You've been living here for two days… How could it be a hallucination?"

"Do not question ZIM! This-"

A loud thud was heard on the door. "Open up, Zim! We know you're in there!" Drayne shouted. An explosion came from outside. I flinched as the door broke down. Dib and Drayne stood in the doorway with all of these little high-tech devices.

"Time to be dissected, space boy!" Dib pulled out a pen looking device. He aimed it at me and clicked it. The pen shot out a rope. I dodged it. My mechanical spider legs whipped out of my Pak and lifted me up. Dib stared in awe.

The mechanical legs brought me over to them. "Pathetic Earth creatures! You shall feel ZIM'S WRATH!" I laughed maniacally and aimed all of the weapons in my Pak at them. I hissed and jerked towards them. Drayne clutched my wrist and turned me around. I grabbed his throat and held him up against the wall.

Dib kicked me in the side repeatedly. "Let him GO, alien scum!" I turned my head to Dib. One of the mechanical spider legs wrapped around him. He seized my collar. "ZIM! STOP!" he pleaded. I tightened the mechanical leg around him and grinned evilly.

"ZIM!" Red yelled. I jumped at the sudden voice behind me. I turned to find Tallest Red and Purple on the transmission screen. "What on IRK are you doing?!"

I let go of Drayne's neck and released Dib. I closed an eye as Drayne gasped for breath and clawed at the air above him. "I-I was just-"

"He tried to kill us, that's what!" Dib yelled at them and then supported Drayne.

"Zim, I know that it might be fun to destroy things, but suffocating your enemies is just not right!" Red exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's like one of those slaughtering rat people!" Purple added and stuffed a donut into his mouth. I looked down at the ground and drooped.

"Zim, you MORON!" Dib toppled me over. "I'm gonna scoop your insides out while you're still awake on the autopsy table, ALIEN SCUM!"

I smacked him aside and straightened out my collar. "I'd like to see you try, sad, little Earth-monkey!" I leaped at him.

"Zim! Stop your smeet behavior!" Red roared.

I balked away from Dib and frowned. "B-but my Tallest-"

"No, Zim. No excuses! We better not catch you doing this the next time we decide to call! Understand?!"

I bowed my head. "Yes, my Tallest." They cut the transmission. I stared at the blank screen. I glanced to where Drayne was coughing and holding his neck. I shifted my eyes slowly to Dib. He stood next to Drayne as he glared at me. My antennas lay limp.

Drayne took in a deep breath and leaned against the wall for support. "Come on, Dib. We'll capture Zim as soon as I-" He took in another breath. "Recover… Let's get back to your house."

"Alright." Dib helped him out the door. He narrowed his eyes at me and slammed the door behind him. I listened to their footsteps that started to fade away.

Zim! The Tallest! They didn't let you destroy them!

Yeah, they're just jealous!

"Jealous…?" I asked out loud.

Yes, jealous. You are superior to everyone, and they don't like that!

Join me, and together, we will rule the galaxy!

Wasn't that from a movie?

I don't know. But the dark side is stronger!

I suppose…But the Tallest said not to try to destroy those two humans.

Forget the Tallest! They are stupid! They abuse their power, and all they do is take all the credit for conquering planets and eat snacks! Now, really. Do they sound like good leaders, Zim?

"No…" I crossed my arms.

Then destroy them! DESTROY THEM ALL! Don't let those inferior humans hold you back!

Fight for your right! Fight for your right!

I have no idea where that's from, but okay!

Zim needs an idea!

Yes, I have one! You build a giant death machine! Just like on Irk that Zim used to destroy with! Add your own touches and make it unstoppable! Impenetrable!

Yes, but Zim will have to keep it a secret until it is finished. Zim will have to act like he usually does. The machine shall take a long time to build!

This will be very challenging. Zim will have to hide it from the Tallest as well! They'll blow up your ingenious work, along with your base!

I growled in my throat.

Remember, Zim. Invaders need no one! Your so-called 'allies' will just try to overthrow you! Do not let that happen, Zim! Don't do anything to the humans before the machine is built. And do not let them trick Zim into telling them your plan! Keep your noise tube sealed!

"Zim shall start to build the machine at once!" I marched into the kitchen.

No, Zim. You shall recharge your Pak first. Start making blueprints tomorrow. Think of some ideas during skool.

I saluted. "Computer, charge my Pak."

"Okay, but… Who were you talking to before? And what machine…?" The computer connected wires to my Pak and placed me on the couch.

"Zim is not telling you! Once you contain the data, the Dib and Drayne humans will be able to steal the information from your system! Don't you dare download my thoughts!"

"Okay, okay. Switching to sleep mode. 3…2…1…"

I fell to my side and my arms hung over the edge of the couch. My eyes shut lightly…

"Awakening." The computer's voice rang in my antennas.

My eyes blinked open. The blinding light from outside made me squint. I rubbed my eye. I sat up as the wires unhooked from my Pak. "Computer? I only slept for a mere minute, haven't I?"

"Sir, you slept through the whole day and night." Wires slipped on my disguise. "You'll be late for human skool if you sleep any longer."

"I do not feel any more refreshed."

"Um, yeah… I forgot to tell you… That explosion from yesterday damaged the house. So I'm not that functional right now. That might've done something to your Pak."

"Great… Where's Gir?"

"I'm….. not sure."

"Well then, I should… I should… be on my way to skool then…" My arm shook as I reached for the door. I opened it and walked out tiredly. I held my head as I stared down at the sidewalk that I marched upon. I spotted Dib and Drayne from the corner of my eye. They ran across the street and stopped right in front of me. My leg froze in midair as I glanced up at them.

Dib's eyes locked onto mine. I felt myself shrink as Dib leaned close to my face. "What's the matter, space boy?!" His look turned to obsession. I recoiled away from him, but he followed my movements and stepped towards me.

Drayne chuckled as he watched me. "Don't give up just because of what happened yesterday!" He clenched his fists and protected himself as if someone was about to punch him in the chest. "Come on, Zim! I'm right here!"

Destroy him now!

No, you'll spoil the plan!

The plan can wait! One little strangle can't hurt.

No way! Zim shall stick to the plan!

Destroy!

NO!

Yes!

No!

I closed an eye as the two voices fought. "Zim! Are you going to attack me or what?!" Drayne held a hand behind his back like he was hiding something.

"No." I swerved around them and continued marching. I eyed what he was holding as I passed him. It was a needle containing purple liquid. I narrowed my eyes and turned the corner.

"Darn it! I thought that I had him!"

"I told you that he wouldn't fall for that! He probably saw the injection!" Dib snapped. "We'll try my plan instead."

The skool came into view. I started to walk heavily as I pushed the doors open. "Those horrible humans! First they damage my computer, and then they try to inject me with- with whatever that disgusting liquid was!" I slammed open the classroom door, and then sat down in my seat. I rested my head on the desk in front of me. I hoped for someone to throw meat, water, or SOMETHING AT ME! SOMETHING TO KEEP ME AWAKE! I smacked my head on my desk to keep me up. I felt everyone staring at me. I stopped and lifted my head as the door creaked open and Dib walked over to his desk. He watched me from across the room. He took out a piece of paper and started jotting stuff down. I looked to the front of the class. Ms. Bitters slipped a video into the computer. A TV screen replaced the chalkboard.

A man in a dog suit with gangster clothes was on the screen in an alley. "What up my fellow poop-slices? This is Poop Dog! Your skool will be having a fundraiser! You must sell as many as you can! But what's in it for you? Prizes, prizes, pra-sizes! If you think you're a magnet with the monies, then – I can't do this."

"Cut!" A random man called. The screen flickered and then showed the man again.

"Then sell poop candies! Sell 100 boxes and you win adhesive medical strips. Sell 1,000 and you win a space helmet! Sell 500,000 and you win a spacecraft! Plus a helmet! Plus a box of adhesive medical strips! But if you think you're all in the top sellies, then you could win a special prize! It's so special, that it's a secret!"

"RRR!" I slammed my fists on my desk.

"Good luck, my fellow poop-slices!"

The screen flashed to a yellow background with words and a person choking. "Warning. Candy made entirely of sawdust."

"Ms. Bitters?" Dib raised his hand. "Why don't they take the money from the candy and use it to buy new desks? I mean seriously! Some of the desks are pigs!" He gestured towards the Letter M's desk. "The only one who has a normal desk is Zim!" He pointed to me. I looked down at my desk and then observed everyone else's.

"That question wasn't answered in the video. Class! Talk quietly to each other as I think of plans to bring forth your misery!" Ms. Bitters slithered out of the classroom. The humans got into groups and started talking.

A blonde-haired female stood up and crossed her arms. "What's your problem, Zip?!"

"I AM ZIM!" I shouted and clenched my fists.

"Whatever. Why are you all deformed like that? You're a freak!"

"Leave him alone. He was born with that skin condition. Though, he is freaky." Zita agreed.

"But not an alien." I added.

Zita nodded. "Nope, definitely not an alien."

I almost laughed at their stupidity but stopped myself. Dib ran over to me. "How can you not see it?!" He turned me to them and poked my head repeatedly. "He has no ears or a nose! Green skin! Antennas! A Pak! Rrr! Man, I wish Drayne was here!"

"Who's Drayne?"

"My friend. He's in a different class." I sighed of relief. Dib cocked an eyebrow. "He's in my lunch and gym period, though."

"I bet that he's crazy like you."

"No! He caught a ghost before!"

"It was probably a moose." Zita whispered to the human next to her. Everyone laughed except for me and Dib. I narrowed an eye at their snickers and pointing at Dib.

"Stop laughing! I'm not crazy!"

That only made them laugh harder. "Shut your noise tubes! Your voices are sickening!" I shouted. The class grew quiet. I turned back to the front. Dib blocked my view of the clock. I sunk into my chair. Something hit the back of my head. The laughing started up again. I stood up on my desk and spun around. Dib saw my expression and inched away from me. "Who's the Earth weasel that threw that?!"

Some people pointed to the blonde-haired prep. I growled at her and reached for a laser gun in my Pak. "Pathetic Earth creatures! You shall not harm my superior normal boy head with your disgusting erasers!" I aimed the laser gun at her head.

"NO!" Dib yelled as he pounced at me. He pinned me against the wall and swiped my laser gun.

"Hey! You can't have that! It's mine!"

"Look! This isn't a normal gun! Normal human children don't even carry these around!" Dib pulled the trigger. It disintegrated Ms. Bitter's desk. We all stared at it, then at Dib. "Oops…"

The door opened and Ms. Bitters slithered in. She spotted her desk and then turned to us. She hissed as she saw Dib with the gun. Dib smiled innocently and made me hold it. He ran back to his seat. Ms. Bitters growled as she towered over me and leaned near my face. I felt my blood drain and freeze in my veins. She took my laser gun and picked me up. She walked over to the chalkboard and dropped me in front of it. She grabbed a piece of chalk and wrote on the board: I will not disintegrate the teacher's desk. She handed me the chalk. "Write that over until I say when you're done!"

I started writing. The children behind me broke into laughter. I resisted the urge to destroy something. "Yes, Ms. Bitters. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen." Dib explained which was clearly a lie if you were there at the time.

I stopped and turned to him. "No! You-"

"ZIM! Write the sentences and do not make a peep! You children, and your worthless peeping!" Ms. Bitters glared at me. I drooped and continued writing.

That was not Zim's fault! Why are you taking the blame!?

Follow the teacher's instructions. She'll be destroyed after the death machine is completed anyway.

But the class! They should be destroyed right now! They dare laugh at the superior Zim?!

The bell rang. I put the chalk down and erased the board before exiting out the door. Dib caught up with me. "Hey, Zim! How does it feel to be laughed at?!"

"Fool! You shall be the first to be destroyed by my de-" I closed my mouth and bit my lip.

"Your what?" Dib asked suspiciously.

I lowered my head. "Um… Nothing."

You almost blew it! Keep-your-noise-tube-sealed!

Do not yell at Zim! The Dib is just so aggravating!

I forced my eyes to stay open.

Zim…? What's wrong?

Irk to Zim! What's the problem?!

The Pak! It's not charged!

NOOOOOO! Eh, I'm tired.

Not you too!

Oh, what a world! I'm meltinnnng…

BWAHAHA! Er, I mean… Zim! Stay awake! I have a horn! I will blow it in your antennas!

I walked over to my empty table. I rested my head in my crossed arms over the table. "ZIM!" Drayne yelled near me. I looked up to see Dib and Drayne towering over me. "We're going to play a game…" He sneered at me.

"I'm going to say some words, and you say the first thing that comes to mind." Dib took out a notebook and a pencil. "Explode."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Destruction."

"Leaders."

"Deceivable."

"Allies."

"Undependable."

"Earth."

"Doomed."

"Plan."

"Machine."

"Destroy."

"Plot."

"Idea."

"Death."

"Humans."

"Targets."

"See ya, space boy! And thanks for the information!"

"What?!" I watched as they ran back to the table where Gaz sat. "Information…?" I recalled my answers. "The horrible humans will try to interfere with my ingenious plans! But! They do not know my plan yet, do they?! What if they already figured it out?" I pulled out some blueprints and started to sketch a basic death machine. "The humans shall not stand in my way of destroying this filthy ball of dirt!" I glanced to Dib and Drayne. They were looking down at the notebook and talking. I growled and sketched in the core of the machine. "The energy suppliers… Weapon containers… Shield projectors… Yes, ingenious! Zim shall RULE!"

What if the humans find a weakness to hold against Zim?

Yeah, Zim. Keep your eyes open! They're not as dumb as the others.

But still pretty pathetic.

Yes, very pathetic.

I grinned as I finished the sketch. I slipped it into my Pak as I shifted my eyes to Dib and Drayne. Gaz held an expression of aggravation and was playing her game. "Be quiet, you idiots! You're distracting me from slaying the vampire piggies!"

"Don't you care that an alien is trying to destroy all mankind?!" Dib shouted, and then looked at me.

"No."

"Why do you waste your entire life on that worthless game?" Drayne asked. "All it does is turn your brain into mush! You don't learn anything!"

Gaz grunted, then walked over to my table and sat down. She opened an eye and glared at me. "Talk to me and I'll make you wish that I was never born." She looked back down at her game. Little sound effects came from the device as she pressed the buttons.

A bolt of electricity crawled up my spine, causing me to straighten my posture. I stared at the human with caution. Her presence made me shudder. "Gaz!" Dib ran over to us. "Why are you sitting with him?!" He pointed to me.

Drayne appeared next to me. The doors to the lunchroom whipped open. The slam echoed throughout the room. I turned my head to the doors. Lightning flashed, with a following crackle of thunder. The being wore a black cloak with the hood covering his head. The bottom of the cloak looked all misty as he hovered across the floor. His eyes were a glowing indigo from under his hood. His uncovered claws were pale. He shifted his eyes to me and floated over to my table. "Your name is Zim?" His tone sounded more like a statement than a question. I didn't respond. "I'll take that as a yes…"

"Zephyr?!" Drayne yelled bleakly.

The figure threw off his hood and swooshed the cloak dramatically. "Yes! It is I, Zephyr! I tracked your scent down to this horrible place, Drayne!" Zephyr had blood red spiky hair with black highlights and deep indigo eyes that you couldn't look away from. His shirt was black with words saying: Your blood is mine to enjoy. His pants were a dark purple, and his pitch black boots reached just below his knees. "So this is your powerful ally? A low-life, powerless mortal?" Zephyr gestured towards Dib.

"Shut up, Zephyr! I already know that you're a vampire!" Drayne stood near him, ready to pounce.

Zephyr shifted his eyes from Dib to me. "I see that Dib has a similar problem." His eyes bolted onto mine.

"Go back to the underworld and leave us alone!"

"I have to feed." He grinned, showing his glimmering fangs. "I wonder what alien blood tastes like!" Zephyr hissed and lunged at me. He knocked me over. I struggled under his grasp. I shut my eyes tight as he pressed me against the floor. "Zim. Oh, Zim? Open your eyes…" he said in a song voice. I opened an eye slightly. When I just saw him grinning evilly at me, I opened both eyes fully. Dib was staring at him in awe. Drayne glared. I looked back at Zephyr. He tightened his grip and his eyes held green swirls. My vision blurred to green. My eyes shut. I felt his teeth sink into my neck. It immediately went away. I heard a hiss. His weight was no longer on top of me, but I couldn't move. "I wasn't done with my prey, Drayne! You know better than to interrupt me."

"Zim's not your prey, he's ours! I'm not letting you steal anyone's blood!"

"Awww! Why not?! That was cool!" Dib whined.

"Because vampires are not to be trusted! They can take too much blood and kill their victim by accident! We need a live alien, not a dead one!"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Fools! You won't be able to stop me once I'm alone with him!" Zephyr cackled. His voice faded.

"I hate his laugh! It's so irritating!" Drayne spoke in an annoyed tone. "I can't believe that he came here!"

I felt someone on top of me again. "Zim?" Dib gripped my collar. "Zim!" He shook me. "Drayne! What effect do vampire bites have on aliens?!"

"Don't ask me! I'm not an alien or vampire expert!"

"Well, you knew who Zephyr was!"

"That doesn't make me an expert."

"ZIM! WAKE UP!" My eyes shot open and my normal vision returned. Dib stared at me. "Why were your pupils all greenish?"

"It's a vampire sleeping vision thing. All vampires have it. Or, so I've been told on the internet. Vampires can be very dangerous with those visions. There are sleeping visions, mind controlling visions, and so many more! I thought that people were lying when they said that vampires did that. I stand corrected." Drayne walked over to us. "Who knows what he could do if he controlled Zim! All of those weapons in his Pak could be useful to destroy someone. Preferably me…"

"Shouldn't we capture him then?"

"I wish I could. He's too quick!" Drayne glanced at me.

"So he's probably going to stalk Zim now, isn't he?"

"Yeah…"

"Pfft. Whiners." Gaz mumbled.

I almost forgot that Dib was on top of me. I smacked him off and stood up. I ran my gloved hand over the area where Zephyr bit me. There were marks from his fangs. I straightened out my collar and brushed myself off. Drayne observed my neck. "Zephyr looked pretty eager to taste Zim's blood. I don't think that he'll be that easy to handle. He's one very feisty vampire when it comes to feeding."

"Don't think that I can't hear you…" Zephyr's voice echoed throughout the lunchroom. I looked around.

"Go away, Zephyr!"

Mist came down from the ceiling and gathered an inch away from me. Zephyr appeared out of the cloud. "Thank you for giving me such valuable information on Zim's Pak." He leaned near me. "You better watch out, Zim! These mortals can't protect you, nor can your Pak!" He studied me. "Confused? Yes… Aliens shouldn't know about vampires. And that makes you easier to catch!"

Who does Zephyr thinks he's talking to?!

An alien, apparently.

A superior alien! What is a vampire anyway?!

Beats me.

"I know that I'm talking to an alien. Superior? No." Zephyr narrowed his eyes at me and faded.

"What was he talking about?" Dib crossed his arms.

"Um… I'm… not sure." Drayne stared at the spot where Zephyr faded.

"He's creepy, but cool! I've never seen a real vampire in person!"

"He's not very pleasant."

"Well, duh! He's a blood-drinking stalker!"

"That's scary…"

"Yeah."

Outside

I sat up against the tree and reviewed over the blueprints. I held it up to the direction of the sun. The light went through the paper. "This miserable Earth Sun! So hot!" I put the papers down and watched as some birds flew past the star. One of them blew up and fell down. I squinted at the brightness and heat on my eyes. I glanced back down at my plan. My eyes widened as they started to levitate.

Zephyr's laugh echoed. He appeared in front of me, holding my plan. "A death machine? Good plan, I might say. But how will you be able to build it?"

"None of your business! Give it back to Zim!" I grabbed the papers.

"Nuh uh uh. We don't want to ruin it, do we?" He watched as I released them. He grinned. "That's what I thought." He rolled it up and slipped it into my Pak. "So you're going to destroy everyone with this death machine?" He didn't wait for my response. "I won't allow that, Zim. I need blood to survive, and these creatures provide it."

"You can't stop Zim from conquering this filthy planet!"

"Oh, can't I?" He clutched my collar and pulled me close to his face. "You will not destroy them!" His eyes clouded up with circles that started from the center and grew to fit his whole eye, then disappeared. I felt trapped inside myself as he narrowed his eyes. I closed my eyes and shook my head quickly. I squinted from the sun in view behind him. "Do not resist me!" he spat as his indigo pupils returned. "You cannot destroy my energy sources!" He pushed me back into the tree and glowered. "Okay, Zim. I'll just dismantle your base then. You'll be stranded here with me and all of the humans!"

"How do you know about my base?!"

"Let's just say that I can read your thoughts." He leered. "Oh! What's that? You fear me? That's how I like it!" He swerved around me and disappeared behind the tree. I looked behind it. He wasn't there. Dib and Drayne ran up to me. They were out of breath.

"We got here," Drayne panted, "as soon as we saw Zephyr with you."

Dib held his head. "I'm guessing that we missed him."

"Aren't vampires supposed to burn in sunlight?! This makes no sense!"

I ran into the skool and sprinted into Ms. Bitter's classroom. Dib and Drayne followed after me. "Ms. Bitters! I have to go home!"

"Why, Zim!?" Ms. Bitters narrowed her eyes.

"Um… I don't feel well…"

"Very well."

Dib thought quickly. "Uh, we caught Zim's sickness, so… we have to go home too!"

"Just get out of my sight!"

I darted out of the skool and to my base. Drayne and Dib kept up. I was about to open my door, but then looked back at the humans. "No! You humans are not allowed in Zim's base!"

"But, Zim! Zephyr!" Dib clenched his fists.

"Zim! You are insane! You can't face Zephyr alone! You're vulnerable to him!" Drayne frowned.

I growled softly. "Yes, yes. Thanks for your encouragement!" I opened the door, then stepped in and slammed it in their faces. Gir was on the couch, eating tacos. "Gir…? Where were you this whole time?!"

"The Crazy Taco!" Gir exclaimed and stuffed another taco into his mouth.

"There's a vampire called Zephyr after me! He's after my delicious guts!" I panicked.

"WOO! I like this game! There's a pig eating tacos on top of the cow!"

I stared at him. "GIR! This is serious!"

"Oooohhhh… AHHHH!" He ran into the trashcan.

"Gir? Gir?! GIIIR! COME BAAACK!" I glanced around the room for any movements. I slipped off my disguise and settled on the couch. I shivered as a cold drift spread throughout the room. A mist started to form an inch away from my face. I swatted it. It broke part and then came together again. I inched away from it. A black figure formed behind it. The mist cleared away. Zephyr drifted near me. I stood up.

"Hello, Zim." He showed his teeth. "It's nice to see my little decoy all alone." He watched me closely. "Those pathetic mortals interrupted me from feeding back there in the lunchroom, but no one can stop me NOW!" He swooped at me. I swerved around him. He spun around and hissed. "Come on, Zim! Don't just evade me!"

I winced and took out my spider legs. They lifted me up. "Why can't you bother someone else besides Zim!?" I jerked towards him. He jumped up and landed on my Pak. He pressed it. The mechanical spider legs whipped back into my Pak.

"No way! I want to taste an alien's blood! And since you're the only alien here, you'll be my victim!" He turned me over. I grasped his neck. He pried my hands off and pinned me down. "And for the trouble you caused me, I'll destroy your base and turn you into a vampire as well!"

"What?!?"

"You're fearful, yes?" He guffawed, then looked back down at me and made my vision haze into emerald swirls. "It's sad, Zim. I thought you would put up more of a fight than this." His fangs sank into my neck. All of my blood rushed to his mouth.

"Master…?" Gir's voice was heard. "What are you doing to my master?!" he cried. Bitter cold washed over me.

Zephyr lifted his head and laughed maniacally. "Now you're cursed like I am, Zim! Feel the cold death that I've felt for centuries!"

I blinked away the swirls and held my head. "Master! You're okay!" Gir jumped onto my head.

"Now you'll have to hunt your prey like me! By the way, your blood was a delicious tasting treat. Thanks for your donation!"

"Hey! I didn't give it to you!" I covered up the bite.

Zephyr stared at it, and then glanced at my face. He licked the blood from his lips. "Oh well! Now you're part vampire! You can't resist the urge to steal someone's blood!"

"Why would you want Zim as a vampire…?"

"I've never seen an alien vampire before, and now you fit the part! But of course, I still want your blood. That stuff is addicting. I'll be back, Zim! But until then, good luck with controlling your hunger for blood!" He cackled and disappeared.

"Master! What's the creepy boy talking about!?" Gir sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

"I'm not very sure… It is freezing in here! I'm going back to skool, Gir. Do not let anyone into the house."

"Master! What's wrong with your skin?!" He poked my head.

"What?" He pulled out a mirror and handed it to me. I held it up. I didn't appear in the reflection. All I saw was my Pak and the wires attached to my spine. "What's wrong with my skin?!" I looked back at the mirror. "This mirror is broken! I can't see myself!" I threw it and slipped on my disguise. "Oh well. I'm not staying in here. It's too cold."

"But it's warm in here!"

"You're malfunctioning!" I ran out the door. I closed it quietly behind me. The sun's rays didn't warm me. I growled and sprinted down the sidewalk to the skool.

I opened the classroom door and sat at my desk as if nothing happened. "Zim! I thought you said you were going home! You too, Dib!" Ms. Bitters snapped.

"Um… I felt better, so I came back…" I folded my hands.

"Yeah, me too." Dib went along with my excuse. He stared at me.

"Class is being let out early so you miserable children can sell the candy bars for the skool! As you walk out, you will receive a package full of candy. Now go!" She pointed to the door. I grabbed a box and walked out.

"Okay, Gir! We have to sell these revolting candy bar units! Come on. And avoid any mist!"

"WOO!" Gir followed behind me. We turned the corner. Dib was leaning against a pole, sipping a juice box. I walked past him.

"Hey, Zim! I sold a whole box in my dad's lab! Beat that!" Dib yelled from behind me.

I opened the box that I was carrying and examined a candy bar. "So you're trying to beat me to the prize, is that it? Just more proof of its strategic value."

He grabbed the candy and held it tightly. "The only reason I'm selling this dirt in a wrapper is so I can watch you fail at something else!" He laughed in my face. I frowned and looked down at the box. Dib shoved it into my face. I looked back up. He splashed juice on me and chuckled as he pointed. He picked up his box and started to walk away.

I kneeled down and picked up the fallen candy bars. "I can sell these candies better than any human. Just watch!"

He turned back around. "I can't when I'm selling all of mine. And did you see Zephyr lately?" Zephyr appeared beside Dib, ready to bite him. He glared at me and shook his head, then disappeared. "Zim!" I looked back at Dib and bit my lip as I shook my head slowly with wide eyes. His eyes narrowed, and then walked towards me. "Why is your skin all pale?" He poked my head.

"Zim doesn't know!" I snapped.

He took another step forward. "How could you not know-?"

"Come Gir, we must sell!" I interrupted Dib, then walked up to a human's door and knocked on it. A lady opened it. She held a baseball bat behind her. "Please, ma'am, if you don't buy my candy, my little brother will go insane." I gestured towards Gir. He spun around. His head shot up.

"Oh, goodness! It's worse than I thought! Here. Of course I'll buy some candy." She dropped a few dollars into the box and took a candy bar. She ate it, but then choked. I watched as she coughed up dust.

"Mhm. That's the sawdust." Gir ran past me without a head. The lady kicked him and went back inside. Gir banged on the door with two fists. "Hm, she only bought one of these revolting things! You'll just have to try harder, Gir! But wait. Why am I selling like a miserable human? I am Irken! I have persuasion on my side!" Gir hid behind me. "What, Gir?!" I turned my head to where Gir was looking. Zephyr jumped out in front of me. I gasped and fell back.

"Yes, they are rather miserable." Zephyr examined his claws. "How are you not having the need to feed?! Did I not take enough blood from you?"

"RRR!" Dib pushed Zephyr forcefully. He fell on top of me. Zephyr turned his head to him and clutched my collar. He stood and pulled me up with him. He scratched Dib's wrist. "OW!" Dib held it. I stared at a drop of blood as it dripped onto the sidewalk. Zephyr let go of me and grabbed Dib's arm. He pushed Dib towards me and held out his wrist.

"Come on, Zim. It's in a vampire's nature to drink blood." Zephyr narrowed his eyes.

"You blood-sucking jerk! Let go!" Dib tried to pull away. "Zim! What is he talking about?!"

Zephyr grinned. "Oh, Zim, you didn't tell anyone yet?"

"Tell anyone what!?" Dib stared at me hard.

I took a step away from the blood uneasily. Zephyr pouted. "Okay then. I'll tell him." He pushed Dib into me. I held him up. I closed an eye and held my head with a fist from the sight of his wrist. "You have much self-control, Zim. I would've already tasted it." Zephyr started to circle us.

"What?!" Dib looked up at me.

"I turned Zim into a vampire earlier! He didn't put up much of a fight, but that was probably the cause of my incredible abilities."

"Zim's an alien vampire?!" Dib pulled away from me. "You're INSANE!" He pointed to Zephyr.

"And now you can't destroy them! You need their blood to live off of." Zephyr snickered.

"FOOL!" I yelled as I pointed in Zephyr's face. "I'll just find a cure for this horrible curse!"

"Good luck! Only I know the cure, and I'll never give it to you!" He towered over me and his eyes started to glow. Everything turned to blackness around him. He inhaled and exhaled quickly. The sky turned back to normal. "Breathe. Just breathe…" He said to himself as he stared at me.

"ZEPHYR!" Drayne shouted. I looked behind Dib. Drayne was charging at us. Zephyr veered to the left. Drayne slammed into the door.

"You humans are amusing for a while, but then you just start to get in my way! And you," Zephyr turned to me, "Your blood is mine to guzzle! I'm in the mood for some at the moment."

I glared at him. We pounced at each other at the same time. I growled and bit his arm with my fangs. He screeched and clawed under my eyes. I gulped down the blood that flowed out of his wound. He twitched and attempted to pull away from me. I tightened my grip. He yelped and squirmed. Heat rushed through me. I released him and grinned evilly with wide eyes. I craved for more. I turned my head to Dib and Drayne. Dib gawked at me and backed away. Drayne stood there, speechless. Blood dripped down the sides of my mouth. I hissed, then leaped onto Drayne and pinned him down. "What are you doing?! Don't look at me like that!" Drayne cried.

"ZIM!" Dib bellowed. I glanced up at him. He clenched his fists. "Get away from him!"

I jumped off of the human, and then sprinted to Dib. I leaned close to his face. "Or what?" I spat and bared my teeth.

He gulped and kept his eyes fixed on my blood coated fangs. "You're an alien, remember? An evil-minded, non-blood drinking alien!"

"I favor both sides."

"Jeez, Zim! Just be an alien!"

"Why do you prefer that side more?"

"So our fights will be fair, you idiot!" He covered his mouth.

I moped at him. Someone knocked a blow to the back of my head. I collapsed onto my knees and fell to my side. I moaned and tried to keep my eyes open. "You weren't supposed to take my blood, Zim!" Zephyr grabbed my collar and hauled me up to his face. "Now you shall repay it!" His mouth came close to my neck. He was shoved away by Dib. Drayne grabbed me and threw me into a cage. He sprinted away from Zephyr, with Dib following us.

Need…Blood…

Ew, that's disgusting! Why would you drink revolting human blood?!

The two humans ran down into Membrane's lab. I hissed as they set me down and ran to another part of the room. Dib looked back at me. Drayne rummaged through some chemicals and papers. "Dude! Your father has no paranormal information whatsoever!"

Dib pulled out his laptop and typed quickly. "I have some vampire stuff saved, but I doubt that there's a cure."

"We have to find one! I don't want an alien vampire stealing all of my blood!"

"Zephyr said that he knew the cure."

"What will that do?! Zephyr wouldn't even consider telling us!"

"We can settle for a trade…"

"What would Zephyr want?!"

The two of them turned their heads to me. There was an awkward silence. "I have an idea!" Dib ran over to me. "We trade Zim for the cure, and then we rescue him after."

"Hm… Yes! Good plan! But the second part will be pretty challenging. Why does Zephyr have a cure anyways?"

"I… don't- know…." Dib shrugged. "Okay, let's go!"

They grabbed my cage and brought it to the front door. Gaz was sitting on the couch. She looked up. "What are you idiots doing?" She walked over to us and examined me. I hissed at her.

"Not now, Gaz. We have a psychotic vampire to deal with!" Dib opened the door and walked out.

"Inferior humans! Release ZIM!" I clawed at the bars.

Dib smiled. "At least he's still himself at times…"

"Yeah, I like him better as just an alien." Drayne agreed.

"Oh, really?" Zephyr appeared beside my cage.

Drayne jumped back. "Zephyr! We've decided to settle on a trade."

Zephyr grinned and looked down at me. "Zim for the cure? Agreed." He swiped the cage and took out a sealed test tube with green liquid inside. He tossed it to them. Heavy mist clouded around us. Zephyr flashed his eyes and a crooked grin at me as the fog cleared. We appeared in a deep blue and purple environment.

"Where are we?!" I asked nervously.

"In someone's imagination. It's based on Halloween. Ever hear of the holiday?"

"Yes…"

"Good, because you'll be spending a lot of time here." Zephyr pulled out a metal necklace that flashed red and clamped it onto my neck. "That lets me shock you whenever I want! So if you display disobeying behavior…" He pushed a button.

"RRRRR!" I held the necklace and tried to pry it off as waves of electricity traveled through me. It ceased and the cage came alive. The bars wrapped around my wrists and ankles. "This place is INSANE!"

"Yes, isn't it? The perfect place to keep you."

"Whose imagination is this!?"

"Dib's."

"The Dib?! I'm in his ugly mind?!"

"Apparently."

"NOOOO!"

"Yes!"

I stared at him. "NOO!"

"YES! SILENCE!" He slammed the button. I shut my eyes and gritted my teeth at the shock.

Dib's House

"Man! Whenever I tell this locater to find Zim, it keeps saying he's in my head! That can't be right. This thing is useless!" Dib threw the locater at the wall. "Whoa!"

"What!? What! What is it?" Drayne ran over to him.

"I hear faint screaming…"

Dib and Drayne stared at each other.

Dib's Imagination

"Z-ZEPHYR! T-TURN IT OFF!" I pleaded.

Zephyr leered. "I don't hear a please."

I sulked and glared at him. "P-PLEASE turn it OFF!"

He turned it off and looked satisfied. I panted. The cage vanished. I fell onto my hands and knees. Zephyr brought a claw under my chin and made me look up. "Okay, Zim. I have vampire business to attend to. You have the choice to explore." He vanished.

I hauled myself up and looked around. A scrunched up potato with chicken legs dragged across a surface. I shuddered as I passed it. A part wolf and weasel bat screeched as it flew over through the night sky. A creepier version, if that was possible, of the skool caught my eye. It was much bigger than the original one. The words were giant and glowing purple. I walked in through the doors. The whole inside was one huge room with deformed creatures. A huge crowd of them were in a circle. I tunneled through. Some shot glances at me. "Hey! Watch it!" A fish-headed being pushed me back. I narrowed my eyes at him and bumped into someone. I looked up. Zephyr turned his head to me. I stepped back quickly.

"Zim! Why are you here?!" he protested. "You should not be here! Your real world kinds are not to be in this skool!"

"Whoa, look what we have here!" A tall creature towered over me. His eyes held a golden honey color. "A being from the outside of this shell!" The room went silent. Everyone stared at me. "And not even a human! An alien? A soul that I can feed on." He showed his fangs.

"Back off! Zim is my prey!" Zephyr hissed.

"You're not going to share?"

"Go find your own…"

"SILENCE!" I broke their stage of glaring. "I am no one's prey!"

Zephyr spun around to face me. "You shall not order your superior master around!"

"WHAT?! Zim is not a slave!"

Zephyr growled and pulled out the button. He slammed his fist onto it. "Yes you are! You belong to me! Remember that the humans traded you for that worthless cure! Unless there's still another vampire out there to give the cure to."

I clutched the necklace tightly as it engulfed me in electricity. The doors whipped open. I shut my eyes and twitched at the bolts. "Zim!" Dib called.

"Where are you?!" Drayne shouted. I pulled off the necklace and threw it. Zephyr hissed and pushed me into a cage. I crossed my arms.

"Zim, don't you dare make a sound or I'll just have to keep you quiet myself." Zephyr whispered.

I scowled at him. "PATHETIC, ZEPHYR!" I shouted on purpose to get the humans' attention. He growled and narrowed his eyes. Some of the metal bars tied around me. Zephyr smirked and disappeared into the crowd.

Dib's head popped out from behind a squid. "Zim?" He sprinted over to me. "What happened?!" I squinted as he waited for an answer. "Oh, right." He pulled out a laser gun and cut through the metal bars that were around me. He opened the cage. I ran out quickly and kicked the cage into the wall.

"Zephyr! He's here! Give me the cure and then we can get out of here!" I held out a hand. He gave it to me. I drank it down and threw the test tube at the fish head who was staring at us. Orange mist swirled around me.

"NO!" Zephyr shouted as he appeared next to Dib and clenched his fists. The cravings for blood flowed out of me. The clouds vanished. Zephyr had an expression of wanting to kill someone. I pressed all of the pink spots on my Pak at once. I felt my weapons unlock. I tossed a little container of bombs and a laser gun to Dib. He caught them and started to throw them at Zephyr. My mechanical spider legs whipped out of my Pak. I pounced at Zephyr and pinned him down with my arm. He glowered at me. I was about to claw his face, but he disappeared. I glanced around.

Drayne pushed through the crowd. "Dib! Zim! We have to get out of here! Through your head, Dib!"

"What?!" Dib yelled as Drayne dragged him out of the skool. I followed behind them. We ran towards the location of his house. Drayne opened the door slowly and checked inside.

"It's clear! Let's go, Dib. Zim, you have to watch for anyone who tries to break in." Drayne led Dib down into the basement.

I peeked out the door. Monsters were charging towards the house. "THEY'RE COMING!" I shouted.

"Almost done!" Drayne yelled back. "Wait- NOOOooooo!" His voice faded.

I locked the door. "Drayne?" My mechanical legs carried me down to the basement. A purple laser looking portal was coming from Dib's head. "Where is the other horrible human?!"

"He- He was sucked into my head!" Dib poked the portal. His hand was being pulled in. My eyes widened and I grabbed his arm. I was dragged in after him. Dib was a pile of organs.

"Eeeww!" I turned my head away from him, or what was… left of him. I slammed against the fence in my front yard upside-down.

Dib turned himself inside out. "We…made it! I made it!" The portal closed up.

I inhaled. "As soon as my spine stops being broken, I'm going to destroy you, Dib." I shut my eyes.

"Not if I expose you first!" He gripped my arm.

"Um, Dib?" Drayne was heard in front of us. "I think that Zim has gone through enough for a day… I mean really! Come on; let's go to your house and think of a plan! I feel recovered. Wait! Where's Zephyr?" Everything grew silent.

Dib's Head

"WHAT?! I'm a blood hunter, not a WORKER FOR A LIVING!" Zephyr tightened his hands as he fought with Nightmare Bitters.

"Tough! You brought humans here! That's against the rules! You'll be scheduled to work in the bathroom stalls for fifty years for punishment!"

Zephyr shuddered as she handed him a plunger. "I'LL FIND YOU, ZIM! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'LL STEAL ALL OF YOUR BLOOD THE NEXT TIME I CAPTURE YOU, AND THEN-"

"ZEPHYR! WORK! NOW!" She pointed to a bathroom. Zephyr frowned and walked in.

Earth

"I just hope that he doesn't come back." Dib let go of me and walked away with Drayne.

"Master! Look what I got! It's a vampire piggy! I won it! WOO!" Gir exclaimed in my face. I opened my eyes and moaned as he poked my head with the stuffed pig animal.

"Gir… Help me get back inside and- GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!" I shoved it away. Gir sniffled and started to cry.

I sighed and sat up-right against the fence. "Gir! Settle down! I was just a little frustrated at the moment. Come on." I stood up and popped my spine back into place. Gir squeaked and ran into our house. I shook my head at his behavior. "WAIT! The plan! My death machine! It has to be started at once!" I sprinted into my house and shut the door behind me. I jumped into the trashcan and was carried down the tube. I threw my disguise off, then marched into the Making Stuff Room and got to work.

1:42 am

"I AM ALMOST FINISHED! With a part of the… arm… Irk! This will take longer than I thought! But at least it will be worth it." I slipped a pair of goggles over my head and used a blow torch to piece the outer covering of the arm together.

---"Sir, you should get some rest. You've been working on that machine all night." The computer sent down a mechanical arm and took away my blow torch.

"Hey, that's mine!" I frowned.

"You have skool tomorrow, don't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then go get some rest like the other humans!"

"You can't treat your master like a smeet!"

"Yes I can…"

"I know what you're doing! You'll wait for me to fall asleep, and then you'll try to figure out what my plan is! NEVER!"

"Sir, that's absurd."

"You shouldn't have an opinion on what I think! This-"

"MASTER! I gots a BURRITO!" Gir fell from the ceiling and shoved Earth food near my face.

"GIR! You're supposed to be watching the house for any intruders! Never mind! You make sure that nothing goes wrong down here, and I'll go up into the house."

"Oooooo! What's this do!? What's that do!?" Gir pressed some buttons.

I sighed and took the elevator upstairs. I hopped out of the trashcan and glanced around. Shadows of two figures were cast on the wall. I walked into the living room. The feeling of someone biting my neck made me wince. A white light flashed. I held a hand over my neck and stared at the camera on the nightstand. I snatched it, but pulled Dib out of nowhere at the same time. He held onto the camera and looked at me.

He kicked my chest and took the camera. "ZIM! We know you have a plan, and we're going to stop you!"

Drayne jumped out from behind the couch and stood next to Dib. "Yeah! So what's your plan?"

I glared at them. "Get out of the base of ZIM!" I turned them around and pushed them towards the exit. Dib grabbed my wrist and slammed me up against the door. I struggled as Drayne grabbed one of my antennas. Zephyr's laugh echoed around the room. A shroud of black mist covered me. I shut my eyes as I felt a force inside my chest. Dib released me.

I opened an eye as I felt myself levitating. I stared at the ground that was two inches below me, and then looked back up. My body was still against the door. His eyes were indigo and had fangs. "Hey, Zim!" Zephyr's voice came out of my body. "I hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna steal your body for a while!"

"WHAT?!" I looked down at my gloves. They were transparent, along with the rest of me. "Give me my body back! You have your own!" I clenched my see-through fists. Dib watched me in awe. Drayne took snapshots.

"NEVER! I am not going back to that horrible shift back in Dib's head!"

"You are so going on Mysterious Mysteries!" Dib tried to grab my ankle, but each time he tried, his hand went right through. "Aw, come on!" He crossed his arms and pouted at me.

"Now I can destroy your base without getting in trouble! HA!" Zephyr ran into the kitchen. I quickly lowered and touched the ground. Dib waved his hand through my head. I growled and smacked him across the face. We ended up having a cat fight.

"GUYS! Stop! Isn't Zephyr destroying stuff in your base, Zim?!" Drayne pointed to the floor. I sank down through it. "Hey, wait up!" he shouted. I poked my head out from the ceiling of the Making Stuff Room. Zephyr was examining the part of the arm of my death machine.

I jumped down and charged at him. "Put that down! I need it!" I snatched it from him and looked it over.

He grabbed it back and shoved me away. "This is important? It looks like junk." He was about to throw it at the wall.

"NO! It is part of my plan!"

"Oh yes… That death machine… You know, Zim. There are consequences for fighting vampires like myself." He started to circle me.

I floated close to him. "Yes, but you're the one who interfered with my mission."

"Mission? You were assigned this job? By who?!"

"The Irken leaders, who else?!"

He growled in my face. "If that is the case, then I'll just have to blow them up too!"

I narrowed my eyes. "Go ahead…"

"What? You're not going to stop me?"

"Why should I? The Tallest are useless."

Zephyr smirked. "And why is that, Zim?"

"Because they are inferior!" I slammed my fist into the wall.

"So why are you trying to destroy this planet, when you can just kill the Tallest with the death machine?"

"I want to bring this planet to its doom before that!"

"You can't destroy it! I told you that I need these humans. They are vampires' natural prey. I'm not going to let you kill off their species. Unless you want to face me when I haven't had blood for a while." Zephyr cut his arm.

"OW!" I held my wrist. He cackled as his arm started to bleed.

The transmission screen beeped. Zephyr turned his head to it. The computer responded," Sir, the Massive is calling."

"Put them through." Zephyr answered.

"What?! No!" I panicked as I tried to get back in my body. I went through him, and then again.

"Zim?" Red's eyes were closed. "When we called last time, we were-" He opened his eyes and stared at us.

"What happened?! Who is that?!" Purple pointed to Zephyr in my body.

Zephyr grabbed my arm and pulled me inside of him. Zephyr walked out. I looked back down at my hands. They were normal again. "I am Zephyr, Zim's vampire master."

"Zim is not your pathetic SLAVE!" I pounced on him. Zephyr grasped my wrists and kneed my chest. I clenched my fists and tried to bite him. He flipped me over, then held me up with his legs and pulled my arms back.

"Say goodnight, Zim!" His fangs pricked my neck. I moaned as I felt my blood drain.

"Ew! Stop that! Even if we do hate Zim, that's gross!" Purple covered his eyes.

The elevator doors flew open. "Zephyr! Give Zim his body back and no one gets hur-" Drayne stared at me wide-eyed. "Hey!" He ran over to us and pushed Zephyr off. The blood from my neck seeped onto the ground.

Dib pulled me up and examined my cuts. "You should be thankful that we got down here before it was too late." He pulled out some cloth and wrapped it around my wrist. "This is pretty much the only time I'll be helping my enemy."

I brought my glance to Drayne and Zephyr who were in a slap fight. Drayne toppled Zephyr over and bit his ankle. Zephyr screeched and clawed at Drayne's head. The Tallest were watching them while they were eating snacks. "Um, Zim?" Red put away his popcorn. "We called because….. do you remember what happened the last time we saw you?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Yes…"

"Well, we weren't mad at you, we were angry at the um…"

"The service drones!" Purple smiled.

"Yeah… let's go with that. So we didn't mean to make you upset…" The Tallest stared at each other and then burst out laughing. "Shh! Shush! Oh- Okay. So you're still on your 'secret mission'. Bye!" Faint laughing was heard before they cut the transmission.

Dib glared at the screen. "You'd have to be a moron to believe that!"

"Thank you my Tallest! Thank you thank you thank you!" I felt relieved. "I shall not fail you!" I shouted and saluted.

"How could you believe that?! That was such a hoax!" Dib crossed his arms.

"You're just jealous that ZIM is SUPERIOR to your filthy race! What are you all doing in my base?! Computer! Intruder alert!" I watched as the three of them were sucked up into the ceiling and launched out of the house. "Back to my filthy evil I guess…" I slipped the goggles over my head and started to work on another part of the death machine.

7:14

I pieced together a small electric wire carefully. "I'm thinking about making my own ship and painting it black and green. What do you think?"

"I was thinking more black and red, but green sounds just as good." The computer handed me an electric wire.

I zapped the outer surface of a metal chip planted inside the arm. "Okay, I better be on my way to the horrible skool. Watch for intruders and don't let Gir mess around with the machine."

I slipped in my lenses after my placing my wig on top of my head. I looked in a mirror and examined my shirt. "Computer, dye my shirt gray. I am a special invader on a secret mission who should not have a normal invader outfit." I watched the mechanical arm in the mirror as it dyed my top a dark gray. My sleeves and collar were a lighter shade. I smiled and walked out the door. I marched down the sidewalk cautiously. I hid behind a tree as Drayne, Dib, and Gaz walked out of their house. Gaz flashed a glance at me. I blinked and then she appeared in my face. I jumped back.

"What's you problem?! Stop watching us! Get out of my life!" She punched me in the face. I glared at her as I fixed my wig. "You're Zim, aren't you? My brother and his stupid friend keep talking about you, and it's driving me crazy! Go back to where you came from and leave me alone so I can get along with my videogame-playing life!"

Dib and Drayne walked up behind her. "Gaz, who are you talki-" He narrowed his eyes as he saw me. "What are you doing to Gaz, alien scum?!"

My skin blanched. "I am doing nothing to the human, Dib-worm." I started to stride away from them and down the sidewalk. Dib stepped in front of me and scowled. "Move aside before I squish your gargantuan head!"

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" Dib shoved me. He stepped towards me, and then pointed in my face as he mouthed the words: 'I'm watching you.'

I stared at him as the three of them walked away. Dib glanced back at me before they turned the corner and disappeared. I lowered my head and followed from a distance.

"So, anyway, I say that we should put a spy bug in Zim's base. You know, to spy on his evil and stuff."

"What if we get caught?" Drayne looked at Dib.

"Zim won't notice as long as we're quiet."

"You're not being very quiet right now, Dib human." I watched him as he turned around.

"Zim!"

"Yes, yes. It's fascinating that you know my name. And don't even try to bug my base, Dib! My computer has the base's defenses ready for use against intruders." I walked past them and entered the dreadful skool.

"Class! We're going down to the auditorium to listen to our skool president! Now go!" Ms. Bitters pointed to the door. The class walked out the door and down to the auditorium. A huge crowd of kids stood in front of the stage.

"Skool skool! Yay yay yay! Skool yay skool!" robotic cheerleaders shouted.

A human female hovered down on a platform. "Our skool is the greatest in the country! But I would um like to say one thing, um, about the dirty bathrooms, they-" Her head started short circuiting.

Two giant humans grabbed her and pulled her out the doors. Floating skool drones came in. "I'm sorry. The skool president has failed to keep skool spirit. We will be picking new candidates who want to be the new skool president immediately. Volunteers? Volunteers?" They hovered around.

"Ooo! Me! Zim! Zim is me! Zim is me! ME! ZIM! PICK ZIIIIM!" I waited as they analyzed me.

"Zim. Analysis: Moron. Suitable!" They floated away.

"Zim can't be skool president! He's criminally insane!" Dib shouted. I turned to him and growled.

"Dib. Analysis: Annoying." The drone put a muzzle on him. He struggled to get it off.

"I'll be a candidate." Drayne raised his hand.

"Drayne. Analysis: Acceptable!" He picked Drayne up by the arm and me by the collar. "The candidates will speak outside." It carried us out the doors and set us down on a small stage outside. Kids stared at us.

"The candidates will now speak! And then I go away from you all! Candidate one! Speak now and hurry! I can only survive so long in sun." Ms. Bitters hid under a hooded cloak.

I stepped up to the podium. "If I am elected, I will ensure that WE WILL RULE OVER THE TEACHERS AND PARENTS! How to skin a human moose will not come in handy to us in our dreadful futures! We shall turn this DISPICIBLE skool into whatever we'd like! Skools were created to be sent to their doom!" I slammed my fist. Kids cheered and smiled.

"Candidate two shall now speak!" Ms. Bitters pointed to Drayne.

I stepped down and put my hands behind my back. Drayne walked up. "Nice speech, Zim. But I'm afraid that that'll never happen since I'm going to win. Fellow students! We don't want to destroy the skool! If it wasn't for skool, how could we talk to each other like this or to even think?! Don't vote for the alien invader just because you don't like skool! I will improve the bathrooms and serve real lunches, not slob on a stick or mashed up lima beans!" The crowd applauded. I crossed my arms as Dib smirked at me.

"Boo! No, boo!" a female voice shouted. I turned my head to her. There were two human females that were booing Drayne. One had brown wavy hair with ocean blue eyes. She wore a blue green sweater with a blue shirt and a dolphin on it. Her light blue jean skirt was slightly wrinkled and ended just above her knees. Her laced up boots covered her ankles. The other one had black shoulder-length layered hair, green eyes, and wore a dark green tank top, black baggy pants, and white sneakers.

"Marielle! Thorne! Don't 'boo' him! That's not polite." A girl beside them frowned. She had amber eyes and glasses, along with long straight brown hair. She wore a black shirt with a green guitar on it, and a black jacket with a collar. Her baggy blue jeans were down to her ankles, only showing part of her sneakers.

"Who said we were nice?" Marielle cocked an eyebrow.

"Um… No one, but-"

"Boo!" Throne shouted as she put her fist in the air.

The human with amber eyes walked away from them. She looked down at the ground and accidentally bumped into Dib. He turned around and saw her. "Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you." Amber shunned.

"It's okay. You didn't." Dib stared. "Hey, are you new here?"

"Yes, I moved here just today. My name is Amber."

"Cool, I'm Dib."

Amber smiled. "Hi Dib."

"Hi. So, do you um… believe in the paranormal…?"

"Ghosts? Aliens? Yes."

"Whoa! Really? Everyone else thinks that I believe in the craziest things."

"That's not crazy! This is crazy. I saw my uncle get eaten by cows."

"What happened…?"

"He ate so many hamburgers, that all of the cows started a riot and cooked him."

Dib gawked at her. "Odd…"

"Yes, very."

"Anyways… Who do you think should win the election?"

"I'm voting for Drayne right now. We do need skool."

"Good. Zim shouldn't even be a candidate."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

I sprinted over to them and nudged Dib. "Nothing! I am perfectly normal! How could you vote for the pathetic human over me?! ZIM!"

Dib growled and shoved me. I fell back and scowled up at him. "He's an alien here to take over Earth!" Dib exclaimed.

"Nonsense! The big-headed human tells lies! LIES!" I yelled as I pointed to Dib.

"Pointing is rude, Zim." Amber pushed my arm back to my side.

"Amber, do you want to come to Bloaty's Pizza Hog with me?" Dib turned his head to her.

"Sure." Amber beamed. "Let's go." She walked beside Dib. Dib glared at me as they crossed the street.

"Hi." Marielle greeted me. "Cool. Are you an alien?!"

"Um…" I fidgeted.

"Whoa, you are! Thorne would want to meet an alien! My name is Marielle. You?"

"I AM ZIM!"

"Awesomeness…" Thorne gawked at me.

Drayne ran up to me. "Hey, space monster! Where's Dib?!" He jabbed my chest repeatedly.

"At the pathetic pizza restaurant with another human." I pushed his hand away.

"Thanks. See ya!" He brushed past me.

Two humans came speeding towards us. The girl had white Capri's, a blue tank top, white sneakers, and brown hair in a pony tail, along with black eyes. The male had a black jacket, blue baggy jeans, and a gray shirt with a green stripe across it, dark brown spiky hair along with brown eyes. They toppled me over by accident. The male turned his head to me. "Oh, sorry. I was running from-" He gawked as he examined me. "Another alien?! First Kai, now you?!"

"LIES!" I pushed them off.

"Justin! We have to get out of here! Before Kai catches up with us!" The girl looked back.

"But Jenny, there's an alien right here!" Justin pointed at me.

"No time! GO!" Jenny grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the sidewalk past us.

Another being came flying towards us with anger. "Surrender that camera to me, JUSTIN!" She had a black belly shirt, black jean shorts, and long black boots reaching up to below her knees, along with matching gloves reaching below her elbow. She had long straight black hair with purple eyes. She had a Pak like me. She hovered past us quickly. She eyed me and turned around. She lowered to the ground in front of me. "Hey! You're Irken! Zim? Your name is Zim, right?"

"Yes… How did you know that?! And what are you doing here? I'm going to conquer this planet, not you!"

"Cool! Another alien!" Thorne held out a hand to her.

She shook it and looked back me. "Greetings, Zim. Settle down. Yes, I am an alien. An Irken. My name is Invader Kai. Your name was spread all over to different universes. That's how I know your name along with what you did in the past. I came here to search for some supplies to repair my ship. I crashed and had to stay here for a while, but then ran into some humans that are suspicious of me being an alien. The two humans that I was chasing took pictures of my base, so I have to go disintegrate that camera so they don't put those pictures on that 'Mysterious Mysteries' show that they kept saying over and over again."

"More humans like that?!" My eye twitched.

"Why? Do you have a similar problem?"

"Yes. The Dib and Drayne humans."

"Ah. And who are these two?" Kai observed Marielle and Thorne closely. "Are they trouble?"

"Not that I know of…"

"Okay." Kai turned her head to Justin and Jenny who were walking to us.

"Are you still trying to chase us?" Jenny hid behind Justin.

"No." Kai and Justin glared at each other.

Justin shifted his eyes to me. "Who are you now?!"

"I AM ZIM!" I spat in his face as I clenched my fists.

"Good. A male alien." He pulled out a camera.

Dib and Amber walked towards us with confused expressions. "What's going on?!" Dib glanced at Kai, then Jenny and Justin.

Justin stared at him. "I'm Justin. This is Jenny, my best friend. And that's Kai," he pointed to her, "she's an alien, and I'm not insane!"

Dib gawked at Kai. "Another alien?! Why is everyone trying to conquer Earth?!"

"I'm not going to conquer Earth, that's Zim's job. Why? Are you the Dib human?" Kai examined him.

"Yes!" Dib crossed his arms.

"My own life is freaking me out here!" Amber glanced at everyone. "Hi, I'm Amber. Nice to meet you three." She shook hands with Kai, then Justin and Jenny.

"Nice to meet you too." Kai saluted. Amber smiled, but it left her face as she looked at the spot next to me.

"Hey, Ziiim…" Zephyr sang right next to my face. I winced and turned my head to him slowly. He bared his fangs and wrapped his hand around my arm.

"Who are you?! Let go of him!" Marielle grabbed my other arm.

Zephyr stared at her. "Who is she?"

"I'm his…. WIFE!"

Thorne started rolling on the ground, laughing her head off.

My eyes grew wide. "Just when I thought I couldn't feel any more nauseous." I mumbled.

"Wasn't that from Corpse Bride?" Thorne wiped a tear away and got up.

"Yes, I like that movie. Tim Burton is a genius!" Marielle pointed to the sky.

Zephyr hissed. "Don't fool around! I am not the kidding type."

"Well, are you going to tell me who you are or not?!"

"Zephyr! I am a blood-consuming vampire! And right now I want some blood, Zim."

"Zephyr's an awesome name. It sounds dark and mysterious! Oooooo…" Thorne wiggled her fingers.

"You're a real vampire?" Justin studied him.

"Cool!" Jenny hugged him. "I love vampires! I was a vampire for Halloween last year!"

"Get off of me, mortal!" Zephyr pushed her off, then pulled me away from Marielle and pinned me down. I struggled as his eyes turned crimson and started to spin. My eyelids closed half-way. He jerked me near him and brought his mouth to my neck.

"What's wrong with you?! You're disgusting!" Kai shouted. Every voice started to echo.

"Get off of him, you freak!" Thorne yelled and slapped him on the head. He tightened his grasp around me. Kai, Marielle, Thorne, and Jenny all tried to pull him off.

Dib grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back as Justin tried to lift Zephyr's head without hurting me. "Stop it! Let ZIM GO!" Dib scratched Zephyr across the forehead. Zephyr ignored the bleeding wound that ran down his face.

"WHAT THE HECK?! WHO ARE ALL OF YOU PEOPLE?!" Drayne's voice was heard beside Dib.

"I'll explain later! Just HELP US!"

"Okay!" Drayne climbed onto Zephyr and started clawing him. Zephyr hissed fiercely and released me. Dib fell back and I landed on top of him. Growls and screeches were heard just before my eyes closed…

I opened my eyes and squinted from the brightness of the morning sunlight. I was lying on the couch in my house. I sat up and held my head as everything in the room tilted. I jumped as I made out the figures of Kai, Marielle, Thorne, Dib, Drayne, Jenny, and Justin staring at me. "Zim? Zim! Are you okay?!" Kai wrapped her arms around me. Thorne and Marielle smiled as they watched me. Drayne and Justin crossed their arms and looked away. Dib studied me. Jenny was running around with Gir. Kai let go of me and stared hard at my face. "You okay?" she asked again.

"I hope so… What happened?!" I scanned through everyone. "Where is Zephyr!?"

"We fought him off, Zim," Dib responded. "You would've been dead by now if it wasn't for us." He walked towards me and stared at my neck. He opened his mouth slightly. I could've sworn that I saw fangs, but I must be hallucinating. He turned his head away and looked down at the floor menacingly. Marielle and Thorne hugged me tight. Drayne dragged Dib to the other side of the room and started talking to him.

"Dib, what's wrong?" Drayne glanced over to me, and then back to Dib.

"We have a problem."

Drayne wore a frightened face. "What happened?! I thought he bit Zim's arm!"

"No, I blocked Zephyr before he could get to Zim again."

"Why?"

"I don't want to expose a lifeless alien! People will just think he's a plastic doll or something."

"Well, we need to get the antidote again! Can we make it?"

"We already tried in my dad's lab."

"What about Zim's? Does he know how to make cures?"

"He might be able to… I don't know, I'm not him!"

"It's worth a shot." Drayne walked over to me, followed by Dib. "Hey, Zim? We need your help with something."

"This depends!" I stood up. "What is that 'something'?"

"We need you to help us make Vampirocilin."

"What?" Kai crossed her arms. "Why?"

Justin stared at Dib. "Dib needs the cure."

The door flew open. Amber was panting as she ran in. "Oh my gosh! Is Zim alright?! Dib! Dib! Are you cured yet?! WHAT- DID- I- MIIIISS?!"

"You didn't miss anything!" Kai snapped.

"Oh…Okay, good. Wait! Dib's still a vampire?! DIB! BE A MORTAL!"

Dib made a disgusted face. "I'm fine! I just don't want to drink alien blood! It's gross and wrong! Come on, Zim! We have to work on the antidote now!"

"I'll help." Kai put a hand on her hip and turned her head to Dib.

"I'm in." Drayne made a fist in front of his face.

"Me three." Justin raised his head.

The four stared at me. I looked at all of them. "Fine, I'll help you. But know this, Dib, once we have created the Vampirocilin, I will disintegrate your giant head!"

Dib narrowed his eyes. "Nice to know. Okay, come on!"

Down Below

I grabbed some test tubes and slipped on a pair of goggles over my bug-like eyes. "Computer! Collect all the data on cures to vampire…ness…" I watched as the screen filled up with formulas translated into Irken.

Dib looked at it with a puzzled face, and then his head to me. "Why does your language look so confusing?"

"Yours is as confusing to me, as mine is to you." I mixed some green liquid with blue fluid.

"What is this thing?!" Justin held up an Irken bomb.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" I pounced at him.

He swerved to the left. I growled and spun around to face him. "Why? Is it part of a plan? I'll just destroy it, then!" He threw it down onto the ground in front of me. It set off a fiery explosion. I slammed into the wall behind me and slid down. I coughed at the smell of smoke. I rubbed the soot off of my head and opened my eyes wearily. Kai trembled with each step that she took as she trudged over to me. She fell flat on her face. Dib sat up and looked around. He spotted me and ran over. Drayne brushed the debris off of his clothes and hair, and then followed Dib. I stared at the large pile of sparking wires that collapsed from the ceiling that scattered all over the room. Justin stood beside Dib and Drayne. Scorching rage pulsed through me as I glared at the three of them. I felt a fire building up in my eyes. Drayne and Justin stepped away from me slowly. I jumped up and tightened my fists. I stomped towards them. Dib leaned back as I neared him. He protected himself as I pointed a finger in his face and was about to shout, but I fell to my side instead. I lay limp as I watched them run into the elevator and disappear.

Kai lifted herself off of the ground. "Why are you HUMANS so TROUBLING!? Hey, where'd they go?" Kai glanced around, and then walked into the elevator.

"Sir?" the computer's voice called as a mechanical arm poked me.

I sighed frustratingly. "Stop! I'm alive!"

"Sir, your entire base is destroyed. The explosion reached the other rooms as well."

"No, really?!" I yelled sarcastically.

"Yeah…"

"COMPUTER! Clean up the base! I have to go settle some things up above…" A platform carried me up.

I appeared in the living room. Kai and Justin were strangling each other, Dib, Jenny and Drayne were trying to help Justin, Marielle and Thorne were pulling each others' hair, and Amber was trying to break up the fights. Gir ran around all of them crazily. "STOP!" I yelled and tightened my hands. Everyone froze and stared at me. I trembled with anger. "EVERYONE OUT OF THE BASE OF ZIM!" I pointed to the door.

"Wait, Zim! The cure! I need it!" Dib shouted at me.

"Irk! Create it yourself!" I walked towards him. "You and your human allies are only trouble to me! Why should I help you if you're the ones who are trying to defeat me, ZIM?!" I glowered up at him.

"But-"

"SILENCE! Out…" I gave him a cold stare.

He scowled at me. "FINE! We'll make it ourselves and then think of a plan to capture and expose you! Ha!" He grabbed Drayne and Justin and pulled them out the door. Marielle and Thorne ran out after them. Amber smiled and skipped out gracefully. She waved at me before leaving.

Kai sighed and put a leash on Gir. "I'll watch him for you while you repair your base, Zim." She looked down at Gir. He started to squeak and go berserk. Kai's right eye twitched. She looked back at me and saluted as she closed the door behind her after sprinting out. I started to chuckle. It echoed around the room. I ended up guffawing.

"Sir, why are you laughing?" the computer asked.

I stopped. "Ah, yes, the plan! To destroy the Dib and all of the other humans! I'll just not come to skool tomorrow, and then when it is lunchtime over there, I'll crush the skool with a Megadoomer!"

"You don't have a Megadoomer…"

"Order one, then!"

"Okay, okay. Ordering…"

I opened the door, and attempted to push the gigantic package through the doorway. Dib caught me and darted over here. "Computer! Bring the Megadoomer into the home now!" I watched as small ice crystals fell down out of nowhere. One landed on my skin. It melted and started to burn. "AHHHH!" I ran around in circles. Dib grabbed my collar and yanked me back. I panted. Another one landed on my skin. I hissed at the sky.

"Zim! I really need the antidote! Justin and Drayne are trying, but- Zim! Pay attention! I need your help here! Hey, why isn't your disguise on?"

I felt my antennas and gasped. I tried to pry away from Dib. He smirked and took out a camera. He held the camera near me. "Get that out of my face!" I tried to smack it away.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Zim. Do cameras bother you?" He waved the camera back and forth in my face. I pouted, then pulled away from him and ran back inside my house. I tore open the package, and then stood away as white packaging peanuts shot out. Gir came out of nowhere, and started diving in and out of them.

He stared at the Megadoomer. "Oooooo… It's got chicken legs…"

I narrowed an eye. "Yes… Chicken legs… Wait! I thought that Kai was watching you! Why are you here?!"

"The lady went into space to her home planet to fight all the bad guys! Then me and the squirrel were friends, and I na-."

"ENOUGH! I'm getting a massive headache, Gir!"

"WEE-HOO!" Gir ran around me.

"GIR! STOP!" I grabbed his head and held him up. His legs continued to move. "Go play outside!" I tossed him out the door. He started rolling around in the white flesh-burning filth. I opened the power source to the Megadoomer. It lacked batteries. I ran into the kitchen.

12:03 pm

I secured the enormous batteries. I smirked and hopped into the machine. It started up and started to glow. I pushed the control stick forward. It made a huge hole in my house as it charged towards the skool. I looked back at my home and shrugged.

I punched a hole in the wall of the lunchroom. The wall came crashing down. When the smoke cleared, all the kids were frozen and staring at me. "Inferior humans! You shall bow down at the mighty foot of my Megadoomer!" I brought out some flame throwers and started to burn everything down.

Dib, Drayne, and Justin ran in front of the machine. "Zim! Come down here and face us!" Dib clenched his fists. I slid down the outside of the machine and landed in front of them. Lots of wires with mechanical hands at the end of them shot out of my Pak. Children throughout the lunchroom screamed and ran around in terror. Kai was laughing her head off. Dib shoved me. "You MORON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"I am destroying, Dib-stink, so you will all be ash when I'm through with you!" I grabbed Justin's wrist and pinned him down.

"Hey, wait! You can't hurt Justin! He's my best friend!" Jenny swooped down and smacked me off of him. I hissed and grabbed them with some of the wires. I turned to Dib and Drayne who held a fighting stance.

"You help Jenny and Justin, I'll distract Zim," Dib whispered.

I marched up to him. "You know, I'm not deaf! I can hear everything you're saying!"

"Nuh uh." Dib watched as Drayne tried to help Jenny and Justin.

"ZIM!" Zephyr shouted. I turned my head to him. He tackled me and grasped my collar. "Release them! For the last time, I need humans to SURVIVE! You are not to destroy them!" He gritted his teeth. I grinned evilly and wrapped a wire around him. "What are you doing?!" He tried to pull the wires off of him. They held him tighter.

I cackled as he struggled. "You cannot win against my superior race, Zephyr. Your fate shall lie with the humans!"

"Squish him! Squish him! Squish him! Squish him!" Thorne moved her fists up and down. Zephyr snarled at her. She stopped and backed away slowly. "Jeez…"

Amber walked up to me. "Zim, please don't do this! This is how wars start, and wars are just wrong and not peaceful! Why can't you all just get along? Humans aren't meant to be slaves; everyone deserves to be free of slavery!" She pointed a finger in the air.

Thorne stared at her with a blank expression. "Man, you are waaay to passionate."

Amber pouted at her, and then turned back to me. "Zim, you have to try to understand! Destroying beings' homes is not right. The-"

"I bet that you wouldn't like it if humans enslaved your race!" Dib shouted as he tried to untangle himself from the wire.

Kai strode over to us. "They do have a point, but destroying is just too much fun!"

"What will be your motivation after the whole universe is gone, Zim? There would be no reason to live anymore with no one else to conquer." Drayne crossed his arms. "So what will your race do after that?"

"That's what I asked a while ago!" Dib eyed me.

Kai stared at Drayne. "Irk, I haven't thought about it that way. What WILL we do?" Kai looked at me.

Zephyr reached his hand out and grabbed my throat. He pulled me near him. "Let me go, Zim! Release the others as well so I can watch as they can beat you up!"

I sucked in an air of breath. "No."

He bit into my arm. I screeched as a pain jolted through me. Drayne started punching me in the side. "Release them, space monster!"

Kai jumped in front of him. "Stop it, human!"

"Hey! Don't yell at Drayne!" Justin yelled.

Kai growled at him. She slapped him across the face, and then shoved Drayne. I pulled away from Zephyr's grasp, but Dib caught my wrist and knocked me over. The wires whipped into my Pak. Jenny and Justin fell to the ground. Zephyr landed upright and stomped towards me. Dib's boot pressed against my neck. I bit my lip as Drayne, Justin, and Jenny joined Dib and glowered down at me. Marielle and Thorne fought Jenny and Justin, while Amber gently pulled Dib away from me and started to talk. Kai and Drayne started to have a slap fight. Zephyr was about to punch my chest, but I rolled to the right and tumbled to stand up. I straightened out my collar as he clenched his fists and glared at me. He charged at me. I moved to my left before he reached me. He gave out an ear-scraping noise as he spun around and toppled me over. I kicked him upwards and brought a blow to his head. He fell to the ground. His body twitched every now and then. I stared at his limp body. Something cold whacked me. "Oof!" I turned around and found Dib with a short pole in hand and a crazy look on his face. I ducked as he swung it at my head. I grabbed another pole similar to Dib's and used it as a sword.

"On guard!" Thorne exclaimed as she and Jenny watched us. Jenny stuffed a handful of chocolate candies into her mouth while Thorne sipped some soda. She took out a random radio and turned it on. "Riot" by Three Days Grace played. Dib held his pole over mine and pushed down as hard as he could. I brought out a laser gun and disintegrated his.

"Aw, man!" Dib held the ashes in his palm. I threw my pole behind me.

"OW!" Drayne rubbed his head and kicked the pole away. "Watch where you're throwing stuff!"

Kai chuckled.

"MASTER! LOOK AT ME! I'M DOIN' IT!" Gir shouted as he appeared in the Megadoomer. He started pressing buttons.

My eyes widened. "NO, GIR! GET OUT OF THERE! STOP!"

The Megadoomer started glowing red. "Destruct mode activated. 3…2…1…"

"AHHHHH!" Everyone screamed at the top of their lungs as the machine imploded…

My antennas perked up as I heard Drayne's moaning. I sat up and looked around. The entire skool was lying in ruins. Marielle and Justin pushed some wall debris off of them and climbed out of the pile. "Awww… Now there's no election for the skool president today!" Amber frowned and helped Dib and Drayne up. Thorne and Jenny were lying next to each other. Jenny and Marielle stared at each other and switched places slowly.

"WOO! Let's do that again!" Gir stuck his tongue out as he ran around me and waved his arms excitedly. My antennas drooped as I shook my head, sighing frustratingly. Hundreds of police cars slammed into each other.

"Ha, Zim! You won't get away with this!" Dib poked me.

"Man! I can't believe he got away with it!" Dib crossed his arms as he watched me.

I had my disguise back on. Humans with video cameras and microphones surrounded me. "Yes, yes. It was all a big mistake. You see, the figure that looked like a giant Megadoomer, which wasn't! Was really a humungous… eh… a humungous squirrel! Yes, that's it."

"No it wasn't!" Dib jumped beside me. "It was a giant machine made to destroy us all! Zim's an alien, and-"

The camera men walked away. Dib sulked as they packed up their equipment and drove out of sight.

"Aw, don't be sad, Dibby. I know what'll make you cheer up." Gir stuffed a brown deformed dog in his face. "Look what I got! I found him in the garbage! He smells reeeeal bad!"

"Get it away! GET IT AWAY!" Dib swatted the thing away from him. Gir giggled and stuffed a raccoon into his shirt.

"I named him FRANK!" He laughed wildly.

It scratched him up. "OW! GET IT OFF!"

I stared at him. "Nah, I have to get back to my base." I marched off. Gir stayed behind and played with him. "WAIT!" I glanced around. Everyone stared at me. "Where is Zephyr?!"

"He was sucked into a green and black portal." Marielle crossed her arms.

Dib threw the raccoon away from him, and then gawked at her. "How did I miss that?"

"Your giant head blocked everyone's view!" Thorne pointed to him.

"Hey! My head's the same size as everyone else's!"

Drayne studied his head. "I say that his brain is larger, so therefore his head grew a little bigger than others."

Amber smiled. "Good thinking!"

I turned my head to Dib. "No! His brain is nothing but a microscopic germ, so his giant head has much space in it."

Dib scowled at me. "You alien jerk! You're just saying that because we're enemies!"

"Am not."

"Are to!"

"Am not, you pathetic pig-weasel-pig!"

Dib pounced onto me. "You idiot!" He twitched. "Make the Vampirocilin! NOW!" He gripped my collar.

"Don't order Zim around!" Marielle smacked his head.

"Yeah!" Thorne did the same. "Hey, where's my radio?" She glanced around.

"It disintegrated."

"NOOOOOO!" Thorne shouted up into the sky. I closed an eye as her screaming continued. Dib stared at her blankly.

Drayne crossed his arms. "Shut up! You're so annoying!"

Marielle narrowed her eyes. "Look who's talking!"

I pried Dib's hands off of my collar. His claws ripped my sleeves and dug into my skin. "RRR! LET GO!" I felt my pupils shrink as he came close to my face.

"NO! I told you that I needed the Vampirocilin before it's too late! I'm already getting cravings for blood, and you know what Zim!? I DON'T LIKE IT!"

Gaz appeared next to Jenny. "DIB! Dad said that it's family night tonight, so I picked Bloaty's Pizza Hog! Stop playing around with Zim and COME ON!"

"Not now, Gaz! I'm busy!"

She growled and her fists shook with fury. She stomped away. Kai grabbed Dib's head. "You! Get off of Zim! Now..."

"Make me!" Dib hissed.

"Ooo… You're bad." Thorne watched as he bared his teeth at Kai. Kai punched him in the face. He fell next to me. His arm stretched over my chest. I picked it up by the edge of his sleeve and dropped it on his stomach. I shuddered and stood up. I tried to cover up my bleeding wounds.

Marielle stared at me. "Ouch, does that hurt?"

"No, not re-"

Amber whipped out a giant first aid kid and electric shockers. "OHMYGOSH! ZIM IS DYING!"

"IRK, I'M FINE!" I grimaced at Dib before I ran back towards my base. Gir followed behind me. I looked back at him, and then did a double-take. "GIR! WHAT IS THAT THING?!" I pointed dramatically to the green and yellow melting gunk that Gir was holding.

Gir stared down at it. "I DON'T KNOW! WOO!"

"It might be dangerous! DISPOSE OF IT!"

"WEE-HOO!" Gir threw it far up. I watched it as it disappeared into the night sky. A blue light that looked like a meteor from a distance came falling down. Gir giggled and ran away. The object just happened to crash onto Dib's property.

"Not my problem." I whistled as I walked past his house. My home was easy to spot, since it glowed green. I opened the door. "Computer, how bad is the damage to the base?"

"It's major, but it can be repaired. Oh, and um… one problem." A mechanical arm lowered down from the ceiling. It held a ruined death machine arm.

"RrrrrNOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU JUSTIN, CURSE YOOOOOUU!"

"It's not that serious!"

"Yes it is! Do you know how long it took me to construct this?!" I grabbed the ruins. It turned into ashes and poured onto the ground between my gloved claws. The couch split into two, as the monkey picture fell down. The TV was smashed, and the bookshelf was knocked over with all of the books scattered across the floor. I sighed and started to fix it up. "Computer, start on the repairs down below."

"Yes, sir."

9:37

I picked up the monkey picture and placed it back over the couch. I observed the room and grinned. Gir flew in through the door and sat on the couch. He held a box of pizza. He opened it and started gobbling down a slice. I gagged and opened the door to run out, but instead found Dib an inch away from me with a camera. His skin was a pale grayish-white. I glared at him. "What are you doing here stink-beast?!" I covered my mouth and turned to Gir who was making all these glopping noises. "GIR! Don't eat that filth!"

"I like it." Gir finished off a piece.

"Why else would I be here?! I've come to expose you, Zim!" Dib shoved me and stepped in.

"Computer! Intruder alert!" I waited for something to grab Dib, but nothing happened. I growled.

Gir leaped onto me. His head was covered in grease. "Awww! I like you too!" He rubbed his head all over mine.

"GIR! GET OFF OF ME!" I bumped into the TV. It knocked over.

"Yes, my master." He jumped off and saluted, then ran back over to the pizza box and raised it over his head.

I wiped some grease off of my head. "Gir, quickly! Get me cleansing chalk!" He hurried over to me and handed be a bar of soap. I ripped it open and rubbed away the grease. I threw the soap at Dib. It hit him in the head and slipped off. Gir started to eat more pizza. "Throw that revolting human food away!"

He started to whimper. "B-But I need it!" He cried uncontrollably.

"Zim!" Dib stepped towards me. "I know that you have something to do with that ship in my backyard!" He kicked the soap away from him.

I glanced at him. "Kind of… WAIT! A ship?! What ship!?"

"You tell me! It's your fault that my backward is ruined!"

"No it's not!"

"Is too!"

I pouted. "Just because something alien-related shows up at your doorstep, doesn't mean that Zim is involved!"

"ZIM!" A figure Dib's height stepped in through the door. She had a purple Invader uniform with pink sleeves and collar, and black gloves along with boots. Her deep purple eyes, green skin, and curled antennas showed that she was Irken for sure. "I should've been an invader! I should've been part of the Great Assigning! I didn't HAVE to be stealing this planet from YOU!" She pointed to me.

Dib gawked at her, and then turned his head back to me. "And you say that you're not involved!"

"He's one hundred percent involved! He's ruined my LIFE!"

Her voice seemed so familiar. "Who are you?!" I demanded.

"You don't remember me? We were the best of comrades when we were merely smeets!"

My eyes shot open. "You! Tak?! I-"

"You thought that I just left?! That I forgot about you?! NO! I ran into you again before I was about to become an invader! But you just had to blow out half of that planet's power! My whole life I wanted to be an invader… And you made me lose my CHANCE! MIMI!" She clenched her fists. "ATAAAACK!"

A Sir unit came out from behind me and started charging at me with a fist slamming down on the floor repeatedly. "No, NO! M-Mimi!" I leaned back and recoiled quickly away from Mimi. The robot grabbed my throat and held me up against the wall.

Tak walked up to me. "It's too bad that our friendship ended so soon. But then again, I've always hated you, even from the START!" Tak kicked my chest forcefully over and over again.

"Oof!" The pain in my chest throbbed. "That's not true! We WERE friends until the fight! You liked me too, and you know it!"

"SILENCE! Our friendship is nothing but a myth now!" She kneed me in the side.

(Flashback)

I was a very young smeet compared to everyone else in the cafeteria. I wandered around in the foreign room with a muffin in hand. Tall Irkens laughed as I walked past them. "Hey, short stuff!" Skull called. I turned my head to the other smeet. He was at a table with his friends. "I've heard that you're going to train like all the other normal smeets, huh?"

I nodded.

"Well don't get too happy, shorty. If you fail a test there, then they'll throw you out the airlock." His friends chuckled behind him. Skutch turned his head to the doors that opened.

Purple and Red walked in. They were an inch taller than me like everyone else. "Hey, Zim!" Purple waved. Red smiled at me. They walked over.

"Look what the computer brains dragged in! Red and Pur! Sup, guys?" Skull grinned at them and crossed his arms. Another smeet walked in. She was a female, big dark purple eyes and curled antennas. She was holding a small tray of snacks. Skull laughed. "Hey guys, watch this." He walked up to her and smacked the tray into her face. "Oops, my bad." He cackled and walked back to his friends.

The female smeet had tears streaming down her face. She sad down at a lonely table and tried to block out the laughing and mocking. I walked over to her unnoticed. Her head rested in her crossed arms over the table. I sat down next to her. I glanced down at my muffin, and then back at her. I slid it slowly in front of her and cleared my throat. She looked up and saw the muffin, then turned her head to me. "Um, hi…" I said sheepishly.

"Hi," she sniffed and wiped away a tear, "I-I'm Tak."

"I'm Zim." I watched as her expression lit up and a small smile tugged at the edges of her mouth. She looked back at the muffin. She picked it up. "You can have it." I lowered my head and fidgeted with my gloved fingers. I looked back up at her. She was smiling brightly. She hugged me and then started to munch on the muffin. I grinned.

"Will you sit with me at lunch tomorrow?" she asked.

"Sure. Staring contest!" I shouted as she finished her muffin. Her head whipped towards me in an instant. She broke out laughing, as did I. We settled down and sat close to each other.

Skull and his allies strode up to our table. "Short stuff and weeper sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes crush, then comes marriage! Then comes a smeet in a liquid-filled carriage!"

Skutch laughed his head off. "Hey, Tak! Why are you befriending an insect? He probably doesn't even know what friendship is since he's so small and worthless."

"Hey!" Red crossed his arms. "Don't talk about Zim like that! He's our best friend!"

"Yeah!" Purple defended us.

Skull played it cool and shrugged. "What? The smeets can't take a joke? Whatever." He skidded off with the others and started to bug someone else. My eyes grew dark as the victim frowned.

I stood up and walked over to Skull and his comrades. "Leave her alone."

"What? Tenn?"

"Yes! You've messed around with enough smeets!"

"Oooooo… Scary…" he mocked.

"Do not mock ZIM!" I shoved him. Smeets gasped.

Skull seemed surprised too. He then glared at me and got up. He balled his hands into fists and cracked his knuckles. "I'm getting tired of you, tiny thing. You wanna fight?" He sneered.

"Why not?" I took a fighting stance. He yelled as he charged towards me. Tenn ran away when she got the chance. I blocked his fist as it almost met the center of my face. Tak cheered for me. Skutch came in and kicked my stomach. I clutched Skull's and Skutch's necks. Guards came over to us and broke up the fight. I pounced back onto Skull and strangled him like no tomorrow.

The guards shocked me and sat me down next to Tak. I growled as Skull tried to look innocent. "Zim, it's nothing. Forget that jerk." Tak blocked my view of him.

I sighed. "Fine."

Red and Purple sat down across from us. "Irk, Zim! You could've gotten yourself killed!" Red glanced at me.

"Smeets! Report for duty," a computer voice ordered. We all marched down long dark blue tunnels.

Tak held my hand and buried her face into my chest. "Zim, I'm scared."

"Don't be. We are going to be invaders when we're older! All we have to do is obey the computer brains and Tallests Spork and Miyuki."

(End of Flashback)

"HEY! Only my allies can mess around with Zim!" Dib pushed her.

"What? WHO!" I glanced around. I was back in my house. Mimi let go of me and helped Tak fight Dib off. "Out of the base of ZIM!" I shoved them all out the door. "GNOMES! Dispose of them!" I slammed the door. "Gir! I've just thought of a new plan to destroy the Dib! If I send a machine to hunt and destroy Dib in the past, then he won't be in the present to provoke me! Yes! INGENIOUS!"

"Wait… But if he's destroyed in the past, then he won't be your enemy. And then you won't want to send a robot back, so then he WILL be your enemy, so then you will have to send a robot BACK-" Gir's head exploded.

"Just come on!" I carried him down to the lab.

I walked up to the machine with Gir. "A hunter destroyer-"

He cut me off. "What is it?!"

"A hunter destroyer-"

"What is it?!"

"A hunter destroyer ma-"

"WHAT IS IT?!"

"SHUT THE HECK UP! WHAT THE IRK!?"

There was an awkward silence as he stared at me. "AHHH!" He ran away.

I booted up the time machine and set it to when Dib was three years old. He was on a bicycle machine. I used a control stick to lead the hunter destroyer machine into the time machine. The machine spit it out. "Hunter destroyer not compatible," the computer stated.

"What?! Is this thing completely useless?! Not compatible! Rrr!" I kicked the hunter destroyer machine. Gir ran in and collided into me. I flew backwards into the swirling portal.

"Bye master!" Gir waved.

"What?!" The pink swirling door closed. My surroundings turned to a dark blue and black environment. The words 'alien', 'UFOs', 'Bigfoot', 'vampires' and 'ghosts' passed by me. Kids' mocking laughter and insults followed.

The next thing I knew- I was sitting on a sidewalk. Nearby was an alien punching bag. The humans from Ms. Bitter's class, only much younger, were crowded around and beating it up. Dib appeared on a bicycle. Gaz stood behind him with a lollipop. "An alien! Look out everyone," he sped down the sidewalk, "I'm gonna expose the monster!" The kids got out of the way. Dib smashed into it. He bounced back onto the ground in front of the alien figure. The humans circled around him, and pointed as they laughed at him. I tilted my head as Dib stood up and looked down at the ground, ashamed. The kids crushed his bike and walked away with the alien.

Gaz walked up to him. "Nice going, Dib. Now dad's going to be mad at you." She popped the lollipop into her mouth.

"How was I supposed to know that it was fake?! And I didn't do that to my bike!"

"Oh well!" She walked away from him. She glanced at me as she walked by. Something was strange. I was shorter than her. I am supposed to be taller than this! What happened?!

Dib spotted me and ran over. "Who are you? And why is your skin green?! Are you an alien!?" He pulled out toy handcuffs.

"Um… No! NO! I AM ZIM!" I covered my mouth. I sounded like a newborn smeet.

"I'm Dib."

"I know that."

"How did you know that?!"

"Eh… I mean… It's nice TO know that."

Dib narrowed his eyes. "What are you hiding, green baby?!"

"BABY?! I am no 'baby' that you speak of!"

"Well you sound and kind of look like one! Neat! Want to come over my house and play with me and my sister?"

"Uh-"

"How old are you?"

"Three!" I remembered how old he was at the moment.

"Me too!" He grabbed my hand and hauled me towards his house.

"Daddy, this is Zim." Dib gestured towards me.

Prof. Membrane observed at me. "Can he talk?"

"Yeah. He's probably just shy."

"I'm not shy!" I pushed Dib's hand away. "Greetings human-filth. It was a pleasure to meet your past beings, but I must return to the future!"

"What…?" Dib stared at me, dumbfounded.

I turned around and ran out the door. "Of course!" I sprinted to the area that my base was supposed to be. "My house! My base! The time machine! It's all existent right now! I'm stuck in the past! AHHHH! Wait… I can fix this… Yes, because… I AM ZIM! And Zim shall not fail at time travel! Computer!" I looked around. "Oh… right…" I saw a flash in the distance.

Dib dashed down the sidewalk to me. He was wearing a backpack, and had goggles attached to his head. He was 11, just like in the future. "ZIM! Get away from my childhood, or I'll-" He gawked at me. I was half of his height now. "What happened?! Why are you so tiny, and where's your base?!"

"This is the past, Dib! I didn't come to Earth yet!" I clawed the ground.

"Whoa, you sound really weird! Wait! If this is the past, where am I?" Dib turned his head to his younger self as he ran towards us.

"Zim! Why'd you come here?" Younger Dib shifted his eyes from me to Dib. "Hey, you look like me only older!"

"I am you. Well, you are me. You've met Zim?"

"Yeah. Doesn't he look like an alien to you? He claims he's not."

"Oh, yeah. He's an alien. We're from the future."

Another flash was seen. Tak as a smeet walked towards us. I stared at her. "Tak…" I frowned. "WAIT! If this is the past, then Tallest Purple and Red are my friends at the time! Skull! I WILL DESTROY YOU! And I'll destroy Skutch! And Tenn! She turned on me! And especially Spleen and Stink…"

"WHAT on EARTH are you talking about?!" Dib held a crazy expression.

"Well, it's not on Earth, so-"

"Back on Irk," Tak interrupted. She had the same exact voice as the time we met. "Skull and his friends pushed Zim around the most."

"ALIEN!" The young Dib started to hit her with the handcuffs.

"STOP IT!" Tak smacked him.

"Ow…" He held his hand.

"I need to get back to Irk!" I pulled out huge metal pieces from my Pak and a blow torch, along with goggles.

"What are you doing?!" Tak crossed her arms as she watched me seal the metal pieces together.

"Building a ship! All smeets are supposed to be in the cafeteria right now! Something went wrong when we went through the portal! We are ourselves from the past, but not Dib! We can get back to our own time after we pass that exam!"

"I'm coming too!" Dib blurted out. Tak and I stared at him. "What?! I'm not staying here! My dad will try to do tests on me to see if I'm a robot or something if I go back to my house!"

I mumbled to myself as Dib looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing. He started to shake as he breathed on my neck. I stepped away from him slowly. He followed me eagerly. "What's wrong with you?! Shoo!"

"Zim… I need blood…Like, right now…" His eye twitched.

"You can't act like a vampire now!"

He started to hiss. I shuddered and held my arm out to him unwillingly. I shut my eyes and turned my head away as he grabbed me and sank his teeth into the side of my neck. I winced. "What are you doing?! Don't kill him!" Tak yelled. Dib released me and pulled away. I doubled over.

"DAD! GAZ! ALIENS! VAMPIRES! ALIEEEEeeens!" The younger Dib's voice faded.

"I'M HUMAN, THOUGH! WAAAIT!" Dib sighed.

I sat up and held my head. "I might as well start working on the ship again."

"I'll help." Tak started to electrocute what I had started to make.

"I am too!" Dib pulled out some equipment.

I climbed into the ship. "Hand me the power cord, Dib-filth." I held my hand out as I looked down at the controls. Dib handed me the cord with a grunt. I plugged it in and fastened it. Dib hopped in and examined the inside of it. Tak climbed up and landed next to me. She shoved me away from the controls. "Hey! I'm flying the Voot, not you!"

"No you're not! You'll crash it into a meteor or something! Go work on a cloaking device for the ship or some weapons!" She pushed in a coordinates.

I glowered at her, but then turned around and marched into the back room of the ship. I started to install a cloaking device like Tak suggested.

"Pathetic Tak! Pathetic humans!" I grumbled to myself as I zapped the small Nano-chip. It gave off a spark and started to glow an indigoish color. I planted it into a wall of the ship. I turned my head to the doors as they slid open. Dib stepped in. The doors closed. He came an inch away from me. "Do you not know the meaning of personal space?!" I turned away slightly and eyed him cautiously. He just stared at me blankly. I got back to working on a high-tech laser. He snatched it away from me and smashed it on the floor. "Hey!" I frowned. "I was working on that!"

"Oops, my bad. I should've destroyed it when you were done!" He laughed as I looked down at the ruined laser. He sounded so much like Skull back on Irk. He nudged me into the wall. "Just because you are smaller and much younger than before, doesn't mean that you're not evil!" I turned my head back up to him. He scowled down at me.

"Human and moron! Report to the front of the SHIP!" Tak commanded over the intercom. I lowered my head and swerved around Dib to the next room. The ship spun out of control.

I was pressed against the back of Tak's chair. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHY HAVE WE LOST CONTROL?!" I tried to turn my head.

"WE'RE IN AN ASTEROID FIELD!"

We hit another asteroid. I fell over. "YOU'RE A WORSE PILOT THAN I AM! Wait…"

"I'M A BETTER PILOT THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!"

The spinning stopped. "JUST LET ME FLY IT!" I shoved her out of the way and took over.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU'LL KILL US ALL WITH YOUR KIND OF PILOTING!"

"Trust me; I know what I'm doing." I dodged an asteroid and blasted a few others. "We have to work as a team! But let's get this straight. I despise you both until the end of life itself. Now! Tak, you go fix the problem! Dib! Don't provoke me, or I just might throw you out the airlock."

Dib shifted his eyes to the airlock, and then back to me. Tak crossed her arms and neared the back door. "Are you sure you know how to fly this thing?! You can barely see over the controls!"

"I controlled that death machine for Impending Doom 1…"

"We're screwed." Dib stated. "You can throw me out the airlock now."

I growled. "Gladly!" I grabbed the bottom of his trench coat and pulled him towards the airlock. I stopped when Tak shot a cold glare at me. I let go of Dib and got back to the controls in a hurry. Tak smirked and walked into the back room.

I watched the traffic jam near FoodCourtia as I guided away from the planet. Dib stood by my side as he examined all of the touch-screens and buttons on the controls. "What does this button do?" Dib pointed to a large red button.

I glanced at it, and then turned my head back to the front. "The eject button."

"Oh."

Irken ships flew past ours'. My eyes widened as I spotted my red home planet. "Irk!" I pointed to it.

Tak stomped in. "What's wrong no-." She stared at the planet in disbelief. "Irk… I haven't seen my home planet in many years…"

"Whoa…" Dib stared at the ships that parked. Tubes plugged in and teleported them to the surface by lasers.

"Now, Dib-beast, don't take this off!" I settled a device on the back of his head. His skin turned pale green, his eyes were still amber, but were bug-like, his antennas were scythe shaped, and a Pak appeared in the center of his back. He took off his glasses and put them in the Pak. He was his original height.

"Cool!" He gently felt his antennas. "I'm an alien!"

"Yes, so you are… And be grateful! You are part of a superior race at the moment! Smeets are not to be traveling around by themselves, so you have to pretend to be our guardian."

He nodded in response. We parked and were teleported onto the planet. Dib looked around and copied everyone else's marching to appear normal. Tak and I strode behind him to the training academy area.

We entered the cafeteria. "Hey, short stuff!" Skull's voice caused me to flinch. "I've heard that you're going to train like all the other normal smeets, huh?"

Dejah Vou… I held my head. "Yes." I turned my head to him uneasily and grew a fake smile to hide my anger.

"Well don't get too happy, shorty. If you fail a test there, then they'll throw you out the airlock." His friends chuckled behind him. I glowered. Skutch turned his head to the doors that opened.

Purple and Red walked in, right on cue. "Hey, Zim!" Purple waved. Red smiled at me. They walked over.

"Look what the computer brains dragged in! Red and Pur! Sup, guys?" Skull grinned at them and crossed his arms.

"Hey, Skull." Red gave a small wave to him.

"Who's this clown?" Skull gestured towards Dib. Dib scowled at him and clenched his fists. "Oh and look! It's the weeper!"

Tak glared at him and punched his face in. All of the meets gasped, just like when I shoved him. Skull covered the area between his eyes and narrowed his eyes at her. Tak turned around and started to walk away to an empty table. Skull balled his fists and was about to punch her back. I blocked him and pulled out a laser gun. I aimed it at his head. He started to panic. "Get this freak away from me! Guys! Help!" Skull shouted to his friends. Skutch pounced at me, as did Stink. I tightened my grip on Skutch's fist and flipped him over to dodge his friends. All three of them collided together. My mechanical spider legs whipped out from my Pak. They raised me off of the ground. Spleen yelped and ran away.

"HEY! You smeets stop this nonsense!" A guard ripped us all apart. "Where did you get all these weapons?!" He swiped my laser gun and put my spider legs away.

Dib ran up to us and grabbed me away from the guard. "I'm sorry; I installed them into his Pak!" He wore an innocent smile.

"Smeets are not allowed to have weapons in their Pak at this stage!"

"Um… Well, he's uh… my robot slave thing!"

I closed an eye and growled. The guard examined us. "Like a S.I.R?"

"Yeah. Only he looks like a smeet so people won't know that he's a S.I.R!"

"Okay, then. Keep him under control." He handed me my laser back. I felt like blowing something up.

"Um… Okay, Zim. Report to a lunch table." Dib put me down.

I opened my mouth to yell at him, but noticed the guard watching us again. I quickly straightened my posture and acted like a robot. "Yes, sir!" I saluted and marched beside him to Tak's table.

"You should act like that towards me more often." Dib crossed his arms. I lowered my head.

Red and Purple sat across from us. "Whoa, good acting! You almost got caught! Hey, where'd you get all the neat weapons? Did you steal it from a chamber?" Red leaned over the table.

"Hey, twit! I wasn't done with you yet!" Skull cracked his knuckles.

"Yes, but he's done with you." Zephyr's close voice alarmed me. My body heated up as I darted my eyes to Zephyr, who sat next to me.

"Zephyr! What are you doing here?! I thought that you were sucked into a portal!" Dib gawked at him.

Zephyr ignored him and studied me. "Wow, Zim. You look much smaller than the last time I saw you," he teased.

My mind went blank. "What?" I thought hard.

Dib turned his head to me. "Zim! Zephyr? You know! The vampire stalker!"

Zim! Zephyr! The vampire who wants your blood, remember?!

What? Who!? Who's Zephyr? Vampires! What are vampires!?

"Who are all of you?!" Tak pointed to us.

"Who are you?!" I pointed to 'Zephyr'.

"Oh, come on, Zim. I wasn't gone for that long!" The creepy kid crossed his arms.

I narrowed and eye and glanced at another Irken with amber eyes, but he didn't have a uniform like all the other invaders. "Those clothes are hideous! And who are you, now?! Why are you sitting with me! Shoo!" I pointed in a random direction.

He just stared at me like I was crazy. "Zim… I'm Dib, you're competitive foe, remember?" He started to look worried.

"What are you talking about?! I don't even know who you are!"

"Well start knowing, you moron!" He smacked my head.

The indigo-eyed being pulled me towards him. "Don't listen to him, he's a bad person. If you don't remember, I'm your guardian, Zephyr." He smirked. "You're safe with me."

"Zephyr…?" I watched as he stood up. He beckoned me to follow him.

"Zim! No!" The other Irken grabbed my wrist. I pulled away from him in a hurry. I hid behind Zephyr and poked my head out from the side of him. "Zim! He's the evil one!"

"The large-headed mortal speaks nonsense! Come, Zim. We must get you to the training academy." Zephyr floated over to the doors and opened them wide. He turned his head back to me. His eyes shimmered as they turned green. I felt myself walking towards him without thinking about it.

"ZIM!" Dib cut me off. I walked around him and stepped out the doors.

Zephyr slammed them shut. "Okay, Zim. As soon as you pass the test, we'll go back to Earth. Understand?"

His indigo eyes returned. I blinked a couple of times, and then looked back up at Zephyr. "Earth…?"

"Yes, Earth. It's a planet of all different types of creatures, but they're all very primitive to your race."

I followed him to two giant, blue-glowing doors. He pushed them open and stepped out of my way to let me see the gigantic room. All different sized smeets were running and dodging dangerous objects in various courses. A huge alien in armor and one red goggle over his eye waited for smeets to gather. "Okay, you worthless maggots! I'm Sergeant Hobo 678! We'll be testing you on hand-to-hand combat, agility, intelligence, and teamwork!"

Zephyr led me to him. "All you have to do is travel up through different courses. There will be some situations where you will need to think fast too. I'll be watching you from the sidelines."

I marched over to the Sergeant like all of the other smeets. He cracked his knuckles. "Who would like to volunteer to be the first one to go through the course of PAIN?!"

I raised my hand right away. Everyone else stared at me. "Sir!" I saluted.

"What you have to do is run through that course," he said as he pointed to a course that looked very painful, "In three minutes! Hop to it!"

I jumped up and ducked to evade the blades that swung at me from all different directions. I veered over patches of needles and landed a foot over the finish line. "Excellent work, soldier! You've completed five out of the five challenges OF PAIN! Congratulations." Wires plugged into my Pak, then quickly unattached themselves after a few seconds.

"What did the wires do?" I turned my head back to the Sergeant.

"They put an encoding in your Pak so that the computer brains know that you went to the training academy."

"Hey, that's neat."

"Mhm… NEXT!"

I strode away from him. Zephyr stood by me. "Good job, Zim. I couldn't have done better myself."

"Just let me in! Someone in there is in trouble! I'm trying to save HIM!" A familiar voice was heard by the entrance.

Zephyr looked back at it. "We have to get back to Earth now. Come on."

I walked beside him as we exited through two other doors. I spotted hundreds of ships zooming everywhere. "Now Earth?"

"Yes. Now Earth. And you're going to fly us there."

"I never flew a ship before, though…"

"Trust me; you'll define it as easy." He hopped into a green and black Voot Cruiser.

"Is that ours?"

"No, it's yours. Get in so we can go home."

I climbed in and examined the controls. It all seemed somewhat familiar, like I've been flying ships for a century. Zephyr sat in a chair next to me and watched as I pressed some buttons to start the Voot. It lifted off of the ground. "ZIM! WAIT!" The amber-eyed Irken grasped the side of my ship.

I turned my head to him. He slid into the ship and panted as he lay down on the floor. "You pathetic mortal!" Zephyr snapped. The ship went into light speed. Irk whooshed away in a blink. I held onto the control stick and steered past meteors. "You were supposed to stay back on that planet, Dib!"

Dib pulled something off the back of his head. His skin turned peach, his antennas disappeared, replaced with black hair in a scythe shape. He slipped on a pair of glasses. He also had a nose and ears. His eyes were white with an amber pupil. "Zim! Zephyr's trying to trick you! He's not who you think he-"

"What are you?" I examined him again.

"A human… And seriously! We have to get back to the future! My dad's probably worried sick about me!"

We zipped past a planet called 'FoodCourtia'. I set the ship to autopilot. "You speak craziness, Dib-human. I belong in this time with Zephyr!"

"No-You-Don't! You lost your memory for some reason! We were in the future; you were trying to destroy me by killing my three year old self from the past so I wouldn't exist! Then I came in with Tak, and we went to Irk so you two could pass the exam and then return back to the future! Wow that was long."

"So we all belong in the future…?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Is Zephyr my guardian?"

"Yes. WAIT! I mean NO! He's a blood-sucking stalker! Don't go near him!"

"Incoming planet, Earth."

"Finally!" Zephyr crossed his arms.

We landed and jumped out. "Zim! My dad has an extra time machine! Well, I think it is… I'm glad that I remembered. Okay, let's go!" He grasped my wrist and dragged me down the sidewalk. Zephyr followed after us.

"You're insane! I trust Zephyr a lot more than you!" I pulled away from him.

"But we can go home! Don't you want to remember things?!"

"Fine..." I pouted and ran after him.

"There!" Dib plugged in the machine. "Now to set it eight years into the future…" He typed on the keyboard quickly. The swirling portal turned on. "Okay! Go in! Hurry!"

I ran through it, followed by Dib. I shut my eyes and held onto him tightly.

I opened an eye slightly. I was holding onto Dib. I shuddered and recoiled away from him. "What happened?!" I observed our surroundings. "Where are we?!"

"We went into the past and Zephyr came there! And I'm not quite sure where we are…" Dib looked around. "Let's split up. I'll go this way." He ran past some trees and disappeared.

I spotted a giant white house with a red roof. A fence blocked the yard. I climbed over it and slipped on my disguise. I found opened basement doors on my right. I darted over to them and peeked inside. Machinery like robots and lasers were piled inside. I hopped in, but froze as a voice startled me. "WHO ATE THE LAST PUDDING CUP?!" The voice sounded like a male teenager. "I can't concentrate on upgrading my robots without PUDDING! WUYAAA!" he shouted. I poked my head out from the side of the wall. A human with pale skin, black and yellow goggles around his head with red swirls in them, red spiky hair, a black cloak that was ripped at the end, and a backpack similar to my Pak was strapped onto him, stood in the middle of the room with clenched fists. His red pupils had eyeliner under them. A purple transparent being with a clown mask was in his face.

"What?!" she spat.

"Did you eat the last pudding cup?!"

"You should be concentrating on gathering Shen Gong Wu! Not pudding. And I don't eat food like humans do!" She went through his head.

He held his nose and waved his hand. "You may not be alive, but you do manage to put off some serious b.o., sister!"

The ghost like figure turned her head to him and growled. Her eyes darted to me. I gasped and hid myself behind the wall. "It seems that we have an intruder. Jack! Stop him!"

"Why don't you?!"

"I'm a ghost, you idiot!"

"Right…" His boots clanked against the floor louder and louder as he came closer to my hiding place. My breathing grew heavy. I closed my mouth and peeked into the room again. The human's face was right in front of mine. He shrieked. "Alien! ALIEN!" He fell over. A pile of robot parts covered him. He moaned.

"You fool!" The ghost being whooshed over to me. "What do you think you're doing in here?!"

The human stood up and straightened out his giant collar. "Why are you in my secret lair?! Who are you?!"

"I AM ZIM!" I yelled.

"Whoa, it can talk."

"It?! I am a HE, you pathetic inferior worm baby!" I tightened my hands. "Eh… I mean… I'm normal. Who are you two?! Where am I?!"

"That's Wuya." The human pointed to himself. "I'm Jack Spicer, evil boy genius! Prince of darkness! The ruler of the-"

"I think that he gets it, Jack."

"How can you think?! You have no brain in that transparent head!" He crossed his arms and frowned.

Wuya glared at him, but then she gasped and her eyes glowed gold. "I sense a new Shen Gong Wu revealing itself! The Orb of Tornami! Come on! Before the Xiaolin warriors get it first!"

"You mean the Xiaolin losers! And don't worry, we'll get it first! Jack Bots! Follow us!" He hopped into a hovercraft with Wuya. "Zim! Wanna come along and watch how evil boy geniuses handle losers?" He held onto the joysticks..

"Um… Sure, I guess…" I climbed in and examined the controls. They were all so primitive. The ceiling above us opened and we lifted off. Wuya floated next to me. I turned my head to her. She was watching me closely. "Get out of the superior face of Zim, Wuya ghost! Shoo!" I swatted her. Her molecules scattered. The purple mist collected back together.

"So, Zim. You good or evil?" Jack glanced at me.

"What kind of pathetic fool would want to be on the good side?!"

"The Xiaolin losers."

"Well, I AM ZIM! And ZIM is EVIL! All of you pathetic Earth creatures shall bow down before me once I conquer this spinning ball of filthy DIRT!"

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA! There is no way that the prince of darkness is bowing down to a short, green thing from outer space! I'm the one who's going to rule this planet!"

"Jack! Keep your eyes on the sky!" Wuya pointed to the front.

Jack grunted. "Why would you want to conquer the Earth anyway!? It's my job!"

"I have a secret mission to attend to! You shall not interrupt Zim's plans!" I spat.

"Jack! The Orb of Tornami is close! Land here!" Wuya interrupted out fight over the planet.

I jumped out as soon as the ship touched the ground. Jack stumbled out behind me. Wuya sighed and turned her head. "The Orb of Tsunami! One of you! Grab it!"

I ran over to the blue sphere and picked it up. "It doesn't look very special to me." I looked at my reflection in it. I glanced over to the bushes that shook. A cowboy, a skater, a young female with black hair with ribbons it, and a small yellow being with a big head jumped out, along with Dib.

"Surrender the Orb of Tornami to us, alien!" The yellow being took a fighting stance, along with the others except for Dib. A small green… lizard thing slithered out of the bushes and stared at me.

"No, Zim! Don't give it to them! It is a powerful Shen Gong Wu!" Wuya floated over to me.

Jack eyed Dib. "Oh, great. Another giant ego!"

"Ego?! The Dib-beast does not have an ego!" I pointed to Dib.

"Are you blind?! His head is huge!"

"Oh, his head size. Yes, yes it is." I nodded and smirked.

"You know him?!"

"You know him?!" The other four exclaimed.

"Of course we know each other!" I tightened my grip on the crystal orb.

"Give us the Shen Gong Wu, Zim!" Dib held out his hand.

"Why do you humans want it so badly?!" I stared at it.

"It is a powerful weapon of water kinesis that, once in the wrong hands, can cause chaos!" the yellow human talked wisely.

"Tell me, human. Do you have a skin condition?"

"No, I am a monk, and monks have yellow skin. Enough chat-chit! Time to kick some butt! Xiaolin style! Water!" He took on a fighting stance.

"Earth!" the cowboy shouted.

"Fire!" the female clenched her fists.

"Wind!" the skater spread his legs apart and glared at me.

"Zim does not have time to watch your little pathetic show!" I evaded the monk as he tried to tackle me. The cowboy slammed his boot onto the ground. I ducked as a giant boulder flew over my head. Wind knocked me over onto my Pak. Dib tried to pull the orb away from me. I held onto it tightly. It began to glow.

"Omi! What's happening?!" Dib looked back at him.

"A Xiaolin Showdown! Jack Spicer! You shall be on the green one's team, as I will be on Dib's team." Omi put his hand on the orb, along with Jack. "The last one standing wins! We wager the Third-Arm Sash and the Mantis Flip Coin!"

"We wager the Lotus Twister and the Golden Tiger Claws!" Jack slipped a golden glove with claws at the end of it onto my right arm. It shrunk and clamped on.

"Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!" Jack and Omi shouted at the same time. "Gong ye Tampai!"

"Lotus Twister!" A flower stretched around his arm, which stretched like rubber. He slapped Omi into a tree. Two helicopter-like machines came out of his backpack and started to spin. He flew up a few inches. "Ha! I bet that the oh so 'superior' Zim can't fly!"

I scowled at him. "Zim is not a filthy Earth bird!"

"Third-Arm Sash!" Omi shouted. The blue belt grabbed Jack's ankle and pulled him down.

"Mantis Flip Coin!" Dib grasped the coin in his fist. He jumped at me, higher than usual.

"Use your Shen Gong Wu!" Jack shouted to me, who was trying to watch us as he battled Omi. "Say the name of it, then swipe the air and go into the portal! Then pick another spot to reappear!"

"Um… Golden Tiger Claws!" I clawed the air. I jumped inside the torn yellow opening. All of the living creatures were red. I spotted Dib, searching for me. I quickly scraped the air behind him and tackled him. Omi shoved me off of Dib with his Shen Gong Wu.

"Dib! Do you need some Xiaolin help?!" Omi stood by him as he watched me.

"Sure." Dib grabbed my collar.

I turned my head to Jack who was on the sidelines, beaten. "Come on, Zim! Beat them!"

I punched Omi in the head repeatedly. I kicked him in the side. He fell over and lay limp. I cackled as his allies picked him up and carried him over to the sidelines. "It's alright Omi, ya'll tried your best," the cowboy tried to cheer him up.

"You shall all accept your defeat at the mighty hands of ZIM!" I smacked Dib's hand off of my uniform, and then pushed him into a tree. He fell over and looked like he was sleeping.

"WOO! Oh yeah! Go heylin side! Woot!" Jack started to do a victory dance. Dib glared at me. All of the Shen Gong Wu appeared in my arms.

"Good work, child! Now let's bring the Shen Gong Wu back to the lair!" Wuya floated over to me.

I thought for a minute. "No way! These powerful relics can be very useful! I need no heylin help to defeat the other opponents!"

"WHAT?!" Jack ran up to me. "Hand them over evil-wannabe!"

"A wannabe?" I guffawed. "I'm more evil than you'll ever be, human!" I stuffed all of the Shen Gong Wu into my Pak. My mechanical spider legs whipped out of my Pak and lifted me off of the ground. Jack and the others, except for Dib, gawked at me as I sprinted away from them.

I took out the same device that I used to build my base. I drew on the pad, and then placed it on the ground. I backed up as it dug deeper and deeper into the Earth. That lizard being appeared next to me, only it was his head. HE WAS GIANT! And was flying… The four beings were riding on his back with Dib. He jumped off and stomped towards me. I leaned back as he gritted his teeth and glowered. The other four stood next to him. I watched as the lizard shank down to its regular size. "What's wrong, space boy?! Are you afraid that you're outnumbered!?" Dib spat.

I stepped away from him cautiously. Omi grasped my arm. "Zim! You must try to understand! The Shen Gong Wu are not toys that you can play around with. They are very important to the Earth."

"That's why he's taking them!" Dib tightened his hands.

"Hand em' over, so we can get back to Master Fung!" the cowboy clenched his fists.

I marched over to him. "Shut your noise tube, or I'll squish you like the insignificant worm baby that you are!" I pointed up at him.

"Look who's talking." The skater crossed his arms.

I turned my head to him slowly with an insane look to frighten him. The ground started to shake as car alarms went off. The female tried to balance herself out. "What's happening?!"

Omi fell over. She helped him back up. "Thank you, Kimiko." He nodded once.

The quaking stopped. I turned my head to the spot where my house was constructing itself. The walls phased in green. Animals and a fence grew in, with the roof closing and a satellite sprouting on top of it. "Whoa!" Dib stared at it.

"GNOMES! Get rid of these humans!" I marched into my house. I frowned at the empty couch and the blank TV screen. Gir would always be in the same spot. A transmitter was pulled out from my Pak. "Gir!"

Gir appeared on the screen. "Master! Hi!" He waved. "Guess who made WAFFLES!" An explosion was heard in the background from the kitchen. Gir stared at it.

"Gir! What happened?!"

He squeaked. "My taquitos… Eh! TAQUITOS!" The transmission ended.

My eyes widened. "Irk!" I ran over to the monkey picture. "Computer! Call the Massive!" I saluted as the Tallest appeared on the screen. "Invader Zim, reporting in, sirs."

Red sighed. "What are you reporting?"

"Oh, I have various things to report. The first! I somehow traveled into a different universe with a human! This planet looks nothing like the Earth that I landed on. Second, I have some devices that I have found that are of great importance. They are called 'Shen Gong Wu' as the monk pronounced it."

"Shen Gong Wu…?"

"Yes. And this is one of them." I pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws and slipped it on.

"What do they do?"

"They are magical sources; each one gives you a different type of ability when wielded."

"So… What does that one do?"

"These you can use to teleport."

"Zim, are you sure that you're just not hallucinating?"

"I am sure, my Tallest. Invader Zim, signing out." I cut the communication. I could've sworn that I heard laughing. "Hm… This teleporting device can bring me back to my universe!" I cut the air, but then I hesitated. "No! There are more Shen Gong Wu to collect before I return home. But how will I locate them?! HOW?!" I thought for a while. I'll construct a locater! Genius!" I put away the Golden Tiger Claws and pulled out a cube and started to electrocute it.

"What are you doing, Zim…?" Zephyr towered over me.

I glanced up at him. "Where do you keep coming from!?"

His eyes went all shifty. "From places…"

"Ooookaaay…" I leaned back suspiciously.

"So… What are you doing?" He looked down at the locater, and then grabbed it away from me. "What is this thing?"

"I need that! Stop snatching my ingenious inventions!" I hopped down from the couch and stood in front of him.

"Another invention? How many inventions could one construct in their lifetime?!"

"Why are you here?! If you're here for blood, then-"

"No, for once, I'm not. Actually, I need help."

"Yes, you need therapy."

"What?! No! Not that kind of help! I need your help to get back to our Earth. I know nothing of this type of Earth, and I'm definitely not staying with a small red bean that keeps gloating about being evil. You need to make some sort of machine that you can use to travel to distant universes like a portal of some sort."

"Why can't you just teleport back…?"

"I can't teleport that far! ARE YOU MAD!?"

"Are you?"

"SORT of!"

"Why should I help you?! You've been nothing but a threat to me ever since you came into that HORRIBLE SKOOL!"

He tightened his hands. "WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?! THIS is why you should help me!" He took out a random laser gun and aimed it at the locater. "So, are you going to help me or not? I'll give this back to you if you choose yes…" He held it out to me daringly.

I stared at the locater, and then looked back up at him. The door collapsed, making a thud on the floor. Dib trudged in, followed by the other four. "NO! Not you too! You can't be HERE!" Dib looked like his head was going to pop off his shoulders as he pointed to Zephyr. "What are you doing to him?!" Dib pounced onto him.

Zephyr frowned. "It is not very wise to pounce onto a vicious vampire, now is it?"

"A vampire…? Pfft. Yeah right." The skater crossed his arms.

"Raimoundo, you should not doubt them. There are BEANS that talk in our world." Omi stared at him. "Clay, do you believe in vampires?"

"I reckon that I don't." Clay fixed his hat.

"Well, you better believe in them, punk! There's one RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" Zephyr hissed at all of them. He smacked Dib off of him, and then turned to me. "Choose now, Zim. I don't have all day with these freaks tackling me whenever I'm in view. Yes or no?"

"Fine! I'll help you!"

"Excellent." He opened my Pak and slipped the locater in. "Hey, what's this?" He pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws.

I tried to snatch it back, but he suppressed me. "Zephyr! Wait!"

Zephyr observed me. "A Shen Gong Wu? I've heard about them in my past." He looped his arm around me. "So this is what you were going to use to get back home, yes? Oh, then I guess we won't need make anything else to return home. Good plan about getting all of the Shen Gong Wu before leaving, but I ask you this: How are you going to get them before I do?" He bared his gleaming fangs.

"Neither of you are getting them!" Dib clenched his fists.

Zephyr glared at him, but then shifted his eyes back to me. He forced me onto my knees and bit into the side of my neck. My head became light, and I felt myself leaning into him reluctantly. His arms that were wrapped around me were like jurgle constrictors back on Irk. He swallowed my blood down leisurely. My breathing slowed, as did my pulse. I fell to the floor and the room spun from my view. Dib tackled Zephyr and started to strangle him. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! DO YOU NEED A PSYCHIOTRIST?!"

Zephyr hissed and wrestled with him. "I'll be back…" He turned into dust and was carried out the door by the wind. I fought myself to keep my eyes open. The sky clouded up. I flinched as thunder clashed. Water droplets started to come down in a mist. Zephyr's grey figure appeared in the window as lightning flashed. I blinked, and he disappeared. Omi poked me repeatedly. Dib stepped in front of me and blocked my view of the windows. Kimiko stood next to Dib. "Is the little fella gonna be alright?!"

The five stared down at me. Oh, how I HATE small places! Leave me ALONE! I wearily commanded my Pak to bring out a laser gun. It aimed it at them. I inhaled. "Get out…"

"Come on, guys! We have to take care of him until he's recovered." Kimiko picked me up and carried me to the door. The mist sizzled on my skin. Kimiko walked faster and faster, until she started to speed through the forest. Omi, Clay, Raimoundo, and Dib followed quickly after us.

"Kimiko, wait!" Dib caught up with us. "Zim may look all injured and helpless now, but when he does recover, he'll just try to blow us up or something!"

"That's a chance we'll have to take! This little guy needs help!" Kimiko entered through two blue doors of a temple. "Master Fung! Master Fung!"

An old being walked in. "Yes, Kimiko?" He paused and stared at me. "And who might this be?"

"This is Zim."

"Yeah! He's an alien sent here to destroy us all!" Dib tightened his hands.

I gathered my energy and pulled away from Kimiko. "LIES!" I pointed in Dib's face. "THE BIG-HEADED BOY LIEEEES!"

"IT'S NOT A LIE, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"Calm down, you two." Master Fung studied me. "What happened?"

I bit my lip. "I'm fine, really!"

"A vampire was sucking the life force out of him." Raimoundo pressed his lips together and crossed his arms as he lifted his head.

"Why was it doing that?" The man glanced at my neck. Everyone stared at me.

"He needed help with something…" I pushed Omi and Dib out of my way. A force was pulling me towards the doors. I turned my head back to the beings, and then walked out. It wasn't raining any more, but the sky wasn't red; it was blue. A thought just came to me; the election for skool president. I completely forgot! Drayne is sure to win if I don't show up! I headed back to my base.

The wires attached themselves to the portal. I sealed them together, and then pushed some buttons and raised the appropriate levers to the 'on' position. The portal sparked, but then lost power. I scowled at the machine and trudged over to the power surge. "Requires medalidium…? Computer! Where can I find medalidium?"

"Locating…" The computer beeped. "Source found. Small amount of medalidium on the ocean floor."

"Ocean?"

"Oceans are giant amounts of water, like those droplets before."

"WHAT?! That horrible water burns my skin!"

"Can't you use something to protect yourself?"

"Hm… I guess, but I do not have the time to figure it out! There are more Shen Gong Wu to take with me!"

"You don't need them, though…"

"So? I am throwing this world into chaos if I take them back to my universe. Computer! Prepare a submarine." I glanced out the window. A blizzard roared and knocked down a gnome. The wind calmed down. I sat down on the couch and stared at the snowflakes that drifted down from the puffy clouds. Letters made of ice formed on the window from outside: I'm watching you. The room chilled. I buried my head into the couch and curled up. I stared at the black shirt with words on it that was in front of me for the longest time. My eyes slowly met up with indigo ones. I sat up quickly.

"What? Am I losing points on my entrance? I'll have to work on that later then." Zephyr grabbed a seat and swathed his arms around me. "I require more blood. I didn't get enough before and the crave for it is driving me mad!" He sank his teeth into my neck. I couldn't move; I was paralyzed.

The door slammed open. Kai, Justin, Jenny, Drayne, Marielle, and Thorne walked in. Kai panted and fixed her eyes on us. "HEY!" She pounced towards us. Zephyr waved his hand in the air. A transparent fog surrounded us like a shield. Kai slammed into it and slid down. Jenny and Thorne started to gnaw on it. Marielle and Justin grabbed the TV together and slammed it against the force field repeatedly.

Drayne sighed and held his head. "Okay, Zephyr! You've had your fun, now release him!"

"I don't think so," Zephyr taunted.

"You thought WRONG!" Marielle dropped the TV. It landed on Justin's sneaker.

"OWWW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" Justin jumped around and bumped into Jenny. Jenny fell on top of him.

Thorne started punching herself in the face. "C'mon! Is that the best you got?! BRING IT ON!"

Everyone started to wrestle each other and pull on others' hair. Drayne was being strangled by Jenny. Marielle stood up. "WAIT! WE'RE NOT CANNIBALS!"

"GET HEEEEEER!" Thorne tackled Marielle.

Zephyr and I watched as everyone fought each other. "This is pathetic," Zephyr said, but only loud enough for me to hear. "What is wrong with these humans?! They make Hannah Montana look civilized!"

"Who!?" I shifted my eyes to him.

"A pop star zombie being. She'll just end up in jail like the others."

Marielle popped up in front of us. "I hope she does! I despise that girl! She makes all little girls into pink-loving, preppy zombies!"

"How did you get in here?!" Zephyr let go of me.

Marielle looked around. She shrugged. "I don't know…"

Thorne stuck onto the other side. Her mouth was in the form of a suction cup. She breathed heavily, which clouded up a small part of the force field. Zephyr closed an eye as she looked like a leech. I poked the shield. It rippled. "AHHHH!" Marielle ran around in a circle. Thorne was attached to her head. "SHE'S TRYING TO EAT ME! GET HER OFF! GET HER OOOOOFFFF!" She bumped into the door and fell backwards.

"I'm surrounded by idiots…" Zephyr studied everyone. They were running around like headless chickens. The shield disappeared. I ducked as Jenny came shooting at me. Her pants were on fire. She slammed into the monkey picture and fell behind the couch. I quickly opened the door.

Dib knocked me over. "Where do you think you're going, Zim?"

Zephyr clenched his fists. "Hey! Oppressing him is my job, worthless mortal!"

Dib stood up. "I found him first, you jerk!"

I quietly stepped out of my house and hid behind a tree. Jack and Wuya came out of nowhere and started attacking me. Wuya flew into my chest. I gasped as Jack threw a punch at my head.

Zim's House

"I need to have prey for blood, not you!" Zephyr argued.

"It's not my fault that you're a vampire! I need to expose Zim so he'll be dissected!" Dib spat.

"Zim is an alien being, you know. He has every right to stay in one piece! Would you like it if aliens tried to dissect you?"

"No… But this is different! Zim's the threat on this planet, so it's my job to stop him and his evil plans!"

"Where's Zim?!" Kai glanced around.

Outside

"Where are the Shen Gong Wu, Zim?!" Jack held me up against the tree.

"Tell us, child!" Wuya tried to punch me, but her ghostly fists just went through.

My spider legs jolted out of my Pak and hauled me up. "Pathetic being! You will be only ashes when I'm through with you!" I pointed a laser gun at Jack's forehead.

"Jack bots!" Jack glanced at hovering robots, then back to me. "Attack!"

I disintegrated a few, and blew up the others. Jack screamed like a girl and ran away. "You fool!" Wuya floated after him.

"ZIM!" Dib yelled from behind me. I turned my head to the group of humans and narrowed my eyes.

Kai stepped up. "Zim, please. Don't let a temper take control of you!"

"But tempers are fun when you have a cannon! Everything blows UP!" Thorne pretended her hand was a gun and aimed at various objects as she made sound affects. "Noooooo! Not the burrito! BWAHAHA!"

"Thorne! This is serious!" Kai nudged her. Thorne bumped into Zephyr. The Golden Tiger Claws fell out of his cloak. Zephyr pushed Thorne away from him and hissed. I cautiously lowered to the ground and to the Shen Gong Wu. Zephyr watched me closely. I swiped it and clawed the air.

"NO!" Zephyr grabbed my ankle right when I jumped through the portal. Thorne, Marielle, Justin, Jenny, Kai, Drayne, and Dib all followed in after us.

I cracked open an eye and observed my surroundings. I was lying down in front of my base's door. The sky was red, and I was in the middle of the city that I landed in when I first came here, instead of a forest. The door opened. Gir, in his dog suit, stood there with a plate of bacon. "Master! You're home! I made BACON!" He stuffed the plate into my face.

"I can see that…" I stood up.

"What's that?!" Gir pointed to my glove.

I looked down at it. The Golden Tiger Claws was clamped on. I took it off and placed it in Gir's head. "It's a play thing for you. Do not lose it or give it to anyone. Understand?"

"Oooooo… WEEEEEE!" He slammed the door in my face. Glass breaking was heard from inside, followed my squeaks and monkey sounds.

I slowly backed away from the door and checked the time. I fell backwards over a giant lump. A vicious dog with red eyes growled at me and snapped. Its mouth started to foam. I hauled myself up and ran like no tomorrow. It barked like crazy and chased me. "AHHHHHHHH!" I slammed open the doors to the skool and blocked them once I was inside. I breathed heavily and trudged to class. I placed my hand on the doorknob wearily and turned it. The bell rang. The door swung open and smashed me into the wall. All of the children ran to the lunchroom with joy. Justin, Jenny, and Dib walked together. Kai followed behind them. Ms. Bitters closed the door. I slid down onto the floor and groaned.

Amber appeared in front of me. She fixed my wig. "Looks like someone's having a rough day." She pulled me up. "You okay?"

"I'm fine!" I yanked my arm away from her and headed towards the lunchroom doors.

I grabbed a tray of DISGUSTING human filth and sat down at my usual table. I stared down at it and poked the muck with a spork. I glanced over to Dib, Drayne, and Justin who were watching me. Dib scooped some of the food into his mouth slowly. Thorne started choking hoarsely from the other side of the room. I turned my head to her. Marielle grabbed her friend's shirt. "THORNE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT THE FOOD, NOT THE SPORK! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! BREEEEATHE!"

I closed an eye as Thorne coughed up a piece of metal. It flew across the room and nailed a kid in the head. Gaz growled and shook with anger as Dib started talking to his allies. "Ahem." A female cleared her throat. I turned slightly to the sudden voice next to me. A human with a black shirt, a dark purple skirt, platform boots, along with arm warmers was sitting at my table. Her eyeliner was thick and right below her indigo eyes. She also had layered spiky black hair. An amethyst heart necklace dangled around her neck. I stared her for what seemed like hours. "I'm Zethora." She flashed me a wicked grin. "I've written a poem for you." She took out a piece of paper and started to read from it. "I've been enclosed in an empty head for as long as I could remember, until you came along. Coming out of the dungeon, I tracked down the human beast and found you as well. The perfect blood for me to feed on. So how do you keep RESISTING ME?! Love, Zeph-er, Zethora." She looked up from her paper. There was a long silence. "So, um… Did you ever have a girlfriend before?"

I hesitated. "I don't…think so…"

"A relationship?"

"No…"

"A friend?"

I shook my head.

"An ally?"

"Yes."

"Well, too bad! I'm not being an ally. I'm going to be your girlfriend, whether you like it, or not!"

"What!? I don't know what a girlfriend is, and I don't know who you are!"

"You know me. We've met before. A girlfriend has a boyfriend and they love each other. You're the boyfriend. I'm the girlfriend. Now go get me a snack, love."

I guess that I could learn about human love this way… I ran over to the muffins and grabbed one, then handed it to Zethora. I watched as she ate it. Dib, Drayne, and Justin sat on the other side of us. "Who are you?" Justin studied her.

"And why are you with him?" Dib pointed to me. "He's an alien, you know."

"You look somewhat familiar…" Drayne narrowed his eyes. His expression brightened. "Are you single?"

"Nope." She hooked her arm around mine. "I'm with Zim."

"WHAT?!" The three shouted.

"What? Who? Where?!" Marielle poked her head out from behind Dib.

"Why would you be his girlfriend?! Are you insane!? I can be a better boyfriend than him!" Dib crossed his arms. "He doesn't even know how to be one!"

"Sure he does."

Zethora pulled me outside. "Now that skool is over for today, let's go to the lake, shall we?" She led me down the sidewalk. We turned the corner. We sat down in the grass in front of the shimmering water. Leaves danced in the air as they drifted passed us and into the water. The ripples spread across the lake and disappeared. Zethora watched my gaze, and then turned her head to the dark sky that showed the stars and full moon. I watched my reflection in the skin-burning water. Zephyr's appearance in the water next to me made my eyes widen. I looked up. Zethora was in his place. I shifted my eyes back down to the water. Zephyr had his eyes narrowed with a blood-thirsty look. "What's wrong, Zim? You seem tense." Zethora enclosed her arms around me.

Water splashed all over me. Zethora let go. I struggled as the water sizzled upon my skin. Dib laughed as he towered over me. He held water balloons. He dropped another one onto my chest. He leered as the pain engulfed me. Holding my chest, I stood up and gripped his neck. He took hold of mine as well. "Zim!" Dib choked out. "I REALLY need the cure! I almost killed my best friend, for Earth's sake!" He kneed me in the squeegily spooch.

"Oof!" I returned the favor and smacked him across the face. He growled and clawed my face. Blood trickled down the side of my head. He stared at it and bared his fangs. I narrowed my eyes and scrambled away from him.

"Dib!" Justin called. "This has to stop! You don't know what you're doing!" He was supporting Drayne, who looked like was thrown into a pile of slaughtering rat people. "I know that we'll create the cure this time!"

"Face it, Justin! We can't do it alone! I need Zim's help!" Dib pointed a finger in my face.

I stood up. "Inferior human! I have already tried to help you, but in return you destroyed my base!" I noticed Zethora, who was listening carefully. "Eh…I mean my house!"

"HEY! That was an accident!" Justin yelled, obviously irritated.

"Zim! The cure! You'll have to come back with us to my dad's labs to-"

"Zim is NOT helping any PATHETIC HUMANS!" I spat.

"MAN! You are so stubborn! Why can't you just help us already?!" Drayne gritted his teeth and trudged over to me. He jabbed me in the chest. "If anything, YOU are the pathetic one!"

I frowned and walked away from them.

"So what, you're just gonna ignore us now?! Who do you think is going to be on your side when it's all over?!"

I stopped and turned my head to them slightly. "Invaders need no one." I turned the corner and disappeared out of their view. "Wretched humans! They torture ZIM all the time, so why should I help THEM?!" My head felt like it was going to explode from all of the aggravation. I took deep breaths and entered my home. I dropped to the floor and rested.

"Master!" Gir ran over to me. "ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"Gir! Do not shout! I have a headache!"

"Oooohhhh… WEEEE!" He jumped onto the couch. "Aw, I know what'll make you cheer up." Gir brought out a plate of tacos.

"No, Gir. I'm not hungry." I covered my mouth from the sight of the goopy, brown meat particles.

"OKAY!"

"Augh…" The room started to spin as my energy drained. My heavy eyelids closed.

"Master! You'll be late for skooooool!" Gir poked me repeatedly.

My eyes adjusted to the sunlight that poured in from the windows. "I don't feel well; I'm not going to skool today."

"Yay! Then you can help me make food in the kitchen!"

I bit my lip. "ON second thought, I'm going." I walked out and spotted Marielle and Thorne. Marielle had ear buds placed in her ears while holding a blue rectangle device. Thorne waved to me wildly. I caught up with them. "Where's Kai?"

Thorne blinked. "She died in a car crash."

"WHAT?!"

"No she didn't!" Marielle snapped. "Stop scaring him! She's building something. We stopped by her home last night. I think she said it was a universal traveling machine. 'UTM' for short."

I sighed with relief.

"So what have you been up to?"

"The usual. Dealing with the Dib and his friends."

"What about Zephyr?"

"Yeah! What about Zeephyrrr…?" Thorne said his name in a dreamy tone.

Marielle and I stared at her. "Um… I haven't seen him lately…"

"Oh, okay. What do you think he's doing right now?"

Mac Meaties

Zephyr is sitting down at a table. He grabs a bottle of ketchup. Some other humans are staring at him. He hissed and looked back down at his hamburger. He popped open the ketchup bottle and shook it. Nothing squirted out. "Stupid ketchup!" He glared at it.

Skool

"I don't want to know." Marielle entered into the Skool. ---

We sat down in our usual seats. "You know who cam by today?" Thorne turned her head to us. "That ugly neighbor lady. She was wearing a horrible puce-colored dress."

"Ewww…" Marielle stuck her tongue out.

Ms. Bitters slithered in. Dib, Justin, and Jenny panted as they sped through the door. "FINALLY!" Dib drank down some liquid in a test tube and was surrounded by orange fog. It cleared away. He didn't have fangs anymore, and the coloring of skin was normal again.

"See! We didn't need his help! We just needed to be patient!" Justin crossed his arms and sat down next to Jenny.

"Dib! Sit down!" Ms. Bitters pointed to his seat. No one seemed to of noticed what just happened but me.