Good Enough?
"I know you're eager to wear the crown, but trust me when I tell you you're not ready!"
Not yet ready!
Even now Tus could still hear those words. They echoed in his head over and over again.
Those were the last words father said to him. Once again reminding Tus that he was not good enough. While Tus had been searching the city to prove to father that his attack on the city was justified his father had been killed.
Now he was finally alone with his father. He given orders to his men, accepted heartfelt messages from his father's closest allies and delivered speeches to crowds. Now he finally had a moment to catch his breath and gather his thoughts.
Tus looked at his father's body. It was burnt in places but he still looked the same man who Tus had lived up to. Tus and father had spent increasing time together in the last year and Tus knew that it was because he thought that father was dying. He was increasingly frail and looked weaker particularly when alone or when he thought no one was looking. Tus hadn't shared this feeling with his brothers but kept it to himself. He pushed himself harder and savoured all the time father would give him.
Tus had tried hard to be both the son and the man Father had wanted. He had studied all the books father had given him, listened to all the advice father had offered and still he was not good enough in his Father's eyes.
Tus was not as headstrong and quick to anger like his brother Garsiv or as foolish or cocky as Dastan. Indeed he often found himself in the middle of them fighting, the pair both eager to outdo the other and prove who is the better warrior. He found he got on with Dastan more the young prince who always offered a different view than Tus's advisors. He admired Dastan's lust for life and adventure and at times yearn to have the same freedom to get himself into trouble. But that was not meant for him. He was the older brother which meant he had to keep them in line. He had to set the standard for them to follow.
He was never allowed to be as stubborn as his brother Garsiv or break as many of father's rules as Dastan. He was being groomed to rule an empire while his brothers were not. They had truly seen father's anger that was reserved for Tus as Tus had to learn from his mistakes more quickly than his brothers.
He was the older brother.
He was the future King of Persia.
And now he was King.
How he had longed to take the crown.
He wanted to prove to Father but more to himself that he was a good man. A man to look up to, a man to lead, to protect those around him. But Father had always seen a greedy boy. Now Tus had an empire to uphold and a brother to kill. No kill was not the right word. Despite Garsiv and his uncle's urging Tus would not kill Dastan. Not until he had brought to justice and face a public trial. Tus would show the people the face of the man who killed his father and their king.
Dastan would pay for his crime and Tus would rule a kingdom.
Tus did not know who he felt more sorry for.
The end.