"Dude, what ya doing?" Ted chirps into his cell, after calling Barney up one particularly boring Tuesday night.
"Getting a hair cut," Barney mutters, in a strange tone of voice.
"You wanna meet me in the bar in about a half hour?" Ted asks, frowning slightly.
"Urf," Barney groans, "Bit tied up right now, man."
"Barney?" Ted asks, concerned. "You okay?"
But Barney just makes a few more noises. Well, the sound like sex noises.
"Ew, gross!" Ted snaps. "Not cool. If you're having sex, why did you answer your god damn phone?"
"Not... having... sex..." Barney grunts, breathing heavily down the line. "Having my... hair... cut... oh god..."
All Ted can think is that Barney's getting a BJ while getting his hair cut, and although that's perverse, even for Barney, he has to admit that it turns him on a little bit. "Someone's jerking you off, man. Don't lie to me," Ted accuses him.
The line goes dead.
Barney catches Ted later in the hallway outside the apartment Ted shares with Robin. "Sorry about earlier, Bro," Barney says, blushing.
"Dude-" Ted begins, but Barney cuts him off.
"I wasn't doing anything, I swear," Barney says desperately. "I just really... like... getting my hair cut."
"What?" Ted laughs.
"I like people touching my hair, like stroking my scalp, and stuff. It ain't a thing." The blonde blushes under his collar.
"Oh really?" Ted asks, pushing him against the wall and holding him there, while he runs his fingers through Barney's soft, sweet smelling hair, brushing a sprinkle of stray cuttings from his shit jacket. Barney groans, long and low, and his blue eyes darken with lust.
Ted kisses the corner of his mouth, feels Barney harden against his thigh. "Well, whaddaya know?" He quips, grabs Barney's hand and pulls him into the apartment. They've got a lot of experimenting to do.