Silver: This is an entire chat-based one-shot, where Rein and other friends are talking through a chat-based website. Do NOT read if you are disturbed by things such as things having to do with women, and everything in between.
Warning: Vulgar language, other things you might be grossed out/disturbed by.
This thing is rated M for a reason, I promise. o.o
I do not own Uta no Prince-sama or it's characters, or even the characters here except Rein and Caius.
Any misspellings or grammar errors are put purposely. This WAS an actual conversation.
Rein has logged on.
Rein: Dudes, what's a gainoecaelogit? ._.
Sai: Do you mean gynaecologist ? .-.
Rein: Ummmm... Sure? xD
Sai: Medical practice dealing with the health of the female reproductive system.
I read that in a book ; u ;
Rein: So basically... a vagina doctor? ._.
e.e Books...
Sai: Books are fun. And not vagina, it's the reproductive system, as in the ovaries and such. (Inside the vagina. Heh e u e)
Why do you wanna know ?
Rein: Sooo... a vagina doctor ._.
Ai said I should visit one since I missed my period this month earlier today. ._. I didn't know what it was and he said it was better to ask you guys.
Sai: Yeah, uh
*Throws confetti and streamers and glitter everywhere*
You're probably preggers.
whOOPIE~
Rein: But we've never had sex ._.
OMG
DON'T MENTION THAT TO HIM
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SEX IS
Sai: How can you /not/ have sex with him yet
That's like
Omfg
OTL
I'LL TEACH HIM~
Rein: NO
MINE
I'll do it someday omgit'llbeasawkwardasourfirstkiss
Matthew: Wait... If she's preggo... FAMILY MEETING GUISE! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Rein: HOW CAN I BE PREGNANT IF WE'VE NEVER HAD SEX
Matthew: THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW! WHO FUCKED REIN IN HER SLEEP? (plzbefutascout)
Rein: I'M NOT PREGNANT THERE'S PROBABLY JUST SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY HORMONES o.e
AND HOW COULD SCOUT IMPREGNANT ME
Matthew: UNLESS YOU'VE GOT REALLY EARLY METAPAUSE THEN YOU GOT RAPED IN YO SLEEP!
Rein: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT METAPAUSE IS
FUCK
Matthew: ~FUUUUTAAAAA
Rein: STOP TALKING
AI'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME
I DON'T KNOW WHAT FUTA MEANS EITHER
Matthew: AI STICK YO DICK INSIDE HER, IF THERE'S NO RESISTANCE SHE BEEN RAPED
Rein: NOOOOOOOOOO
FUCK
STOP
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THAT MEANS
SHUSH
Matthew: AND FUTA MEANS CHICK WITH A DICK
Rein: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
THEY HAVE THOSE!?
Matthew: AI! WHEN A MOMMY AND A DADDY LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH THEY FUCK! BUT SOMETIMES MOMMY GETS RAPED IN HER SLEEP!
Sai: SCOUT IS NOT A FUTA YOU RETARDED DUCKS
Rein: JESUS FUCK WHAT PART OF AWKWARD DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND
Matthew: SCOUT MADE A PENIS WITH HER LOOOOVE! REIN AND SCOUT SHALL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY!
Rein: NO THANK YOU
I'D RATHER SEE A GUY GET IMPREGNATED
Scout logged on
Scout: WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING OUT OF YOUR DISEASED MOUTHS
Chaos logged on
Chaos: I'm a registered gynecologist.
Scout: WHAT
THE
FUCK
Rein: BULLSHIT
Scout: Chaos, shut the fuck up and go back to the vagina cave you sadly crawled out of.
Rein: *Facedesk* I HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS TO AI NOW
Chaos: *holds up degree and points to self* Not. An. Idiot. Like. You.
Rein: THANK YOU ASSHOLES
I AM A PROUD IDIOT, THANK YOU.
Scout: Aaaaaaand now I'm done with this conversation. /jetpacks away
Scout logged out.
Chaos: So you gonna let me see your vag or what?
Rein: NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS
Chaos: Like I want your loose skank pussy.
Rein: LIKE I WANT YOUR FAT UGLY CHODE
Sai: Ya nastee
We're talking about Rein and Ai's sexual problems, not your gross needs e_e
Chaos: Fine. Be a pregnant whore.
Rein: *Gives Sai a cookie* THANK YOU, SAI.
AND I'M NOT PREGNANT! DX
Dude, I think i'm killing this caps lock button
Sai: *Noms*
Chaos: LET'S CHECK THEN DUMBASS!
Sai: Omg
rEIN
MY BOYFRIEND WAS THE SAME WITH ME
YOU JUST GOTTA PUSH HIM DOWN ONTO THE BED, RIP OFF YOUR SHIRT, RIP OFF HIS SHIRT, AND BADDA BING, BADDA BOOM
Rein: THAT'S SO AWKWARD THOOOOOOOOOUGH
AI DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE HAD TO TILT HIS HEAD WHEN WE FIRST KISSED
Sai: EHEHE
TRUST ME, IT GETS SOOOO MUCH BETTER- *Nosebleed* Aw shit.
Rein: o.e
I'm scared
WAIT A MINUTE. CHECK WITH WHAT!? I CAN'T LET AI SEE ME WITH A PREGNANCY STICK THING
Matthew: You could do it at Ven's.
Rein: Venny's away for the week Q~Q
Drew logged on
Drew: I guess... I could maybe do it...
Rein: UH NO
Drew: Let you come over I mean.
Rein: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
AI SAW THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION
HE WAS WATCHING WHILE I WASN'T LOOKING
Welp
I'm fucked
Matthew: PULL OUT THE TEST! SQUAT OVER HIS FACE! PISS ALL OVER HIM AND THE STICK!
Rein: you've never had a girlfriend before have you
Matthew: ...Fuck you
Rein: Aaaaand now I have to go explain to him what sex is and all of that. o.e Wish me luck.
Sai: Just make a circle with your finger and put your other finger through it
Rein: He's not gonna know what the fuck that means either xD
Sai: Oh sweet brown wai
Rein: FUCK THIS. SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING GUYS. I'M JUST GONNA GO STRAIGHT FORWARD WITH THIS AND OFF WITH THE CLOTHING.
Rein logged off.
Caius logged on.
Caius: It's things like this that make me damn fucking glad i'm not a girl.
Sai: lOL
Silver: Lol, well, I hope you guys enjoyed that disturbing... /funny?/ one-shot. If you thought it was funny, go ahead and review and tell me what you thought about it. xD I hope you weren't too disturbed by it.
By the way, this WAS an actual conversation. Rein has her own facebook, and I was talking to other people's characters who have their own facebook as well.
If you want to join in on the madness, PM me. :)
For more Rein and Ai, see my collection of one-shots, 'Together', or my single one-shot, 'Lucky To Have You'.