Author's note- Hello, ! Long-ish time, no see, eh?
Anywho, this story is going to be my main focus from now on. I honestly don't know if I'll update How To Save A Life again, as I've kind of lost my muse for it. For now, it'll just be on hiatus.
I really hope that you guys like this one, because I've got a lot planned for it. The rating may change to an M later on, because I kinda want to write in a smut scene, but I'm not sure about it yet. Also, the rest of the chapters will be longer, this is just an intro.
He is drowning.
Not literally, although he might as well be. No, the kind of drowning that Lukas Bondevik experiences is entirely different.
He's drowning in misery, in suffering, hell, in his own life. Every day, he feels as though it's getting harder and harder to breathe or think or exist.
And there isn't a thing he can do about it.
The day he makes The Decision is the day of his brother's fifteenth birthday party, ironically enough. It isn't something he's thought through, although it certainly wasn't the first time he'd considered it. Suicide, that is. Offing yourself. Eternal sleep. Call it whatever you want, and the end result still never changes.
It's their gleeful laughter that gets him in the end. He's sitting in his bedroom, trying to work on a draft of his novel while his aforementioned brother, Emil, entertains a few of his friends in the living room.
It's a reminder that they're happy and shiny and alive, and that he can never, ever be that way again. He doesn't deserve to. He deserves to be in pain, deserves everything life has thrown at him. At first, he tries to block out the laughing, but someone makes a joke, and it only gets louder.
And louder.
And louder.
And louder.
Lukas can barely hear himself think, and his breathing becomes even more strained than usual. He makes a few attempts at trying to calm himself, but they are in vain.
I'm going to throw up, he thinks. And sure enough, he's soon on the floor, leaning over the small garbage can by his bedside and filling it the contents of his stomach. The damned laughter is still there, and he's not sure if it's because Emil and his friends are actually still laughing, or if his mind is just replaying it, although he's betting on the latter.
They're making him sick. Can't they see that? The laughter is making him sick sick so sick and he just wants someone to make it all go away.
But he knows that's not going to happen unless he does something about it himself.
Without even thinking about the consequences, Lukas forces himself up off of the floor and weakly staggers to the bathroom. When he reaches his destination, he slams the door behind him and opens the medicine cabinet, desperately searching for the sleeping pills he was prescribed six months ago.
At last, he finds them and lets out a sigh of relief, thankful that he had remembered to put the medication in its proper place. With shaky hands, he opens the bottle and dumps a handful of the small white capsules into his hand.
He eats them like candy.
Lukas empties the entire bottle of pills, washing them down with Listerine. It isn't very long before they start to take effect.
(his head is spinning like crazy and his vision is blurring and it becomes harder to focus and oh god he can feel it coming yes thats it let me die let me die let me die i want to die)
The bright lights hurt his eyes terribly
(it burns them please please please make it stop)
while his head and his heart pound madly.
(its almost over lukas youll be dead soon its all okay dont worry)
And then, everything
fades
to
black.
His very last thought is that he's finally happy because he
can
no
longer
hear
their
shrieking
laughter.
So, what do you think so far? Should I continue this or not? Sorry if the quality of writing isn't very good; I'm still only thirteen, and I know I've got a long way to go when it comes to developing my writing. I'd like some constructive criticism on this, if you can think of any to give me. Of course, if you can't, reviews are still greatly appreciated.
Thanks a ton for taking the time to read this, and the next chapter should be up soon.