Money was eating my salad. It became a wang overnight. Gamzee's gay for Doritos and wang. Karkat's money was wangs. All Gamzee loved was wang and money in his wang. Dingdong goes wingwong. Karkat was touching Gamzee's art. Rubbing wangs all over himself, Gamzee also came all over himself and devoured cake.
Dongs. So many dongs; they fill the room at an exponential rate. Gamzee knew his time had come - he knew his moment of truth was upon him. He grabbed Karkat and they at as many dongs as they could. "Karkat," Gamzee said, tears in his eyes, "Karkat, I can't stop eating dongs." Karkat was about to pull him in for a feels hug, but then a dong spoke to them, and it said, "What if wearing shirts wasn't socially acceptable? Unpleasant speed."
"Karkat," Karkat sobbed to himself, "the dongs are speaking. We are eating sentient thinking beings by the fistful. We must stop the donging." But he could not.
Suddenly, there was a knockout and the songs disappeared in the darkness, but by the time the lights returned, all that was left of dong raid was Gamzee's massive boner.
"Karkat, the dongs are not yet gone. There is still one dong rising and it is me. I am the final dong." Ode to Joy began to play.
Gamzee pulled down his pants and Karkat was like "shit this isn't pale at all," but what palebro would let his moirail get blue balls over here.
"Gamzee," he cried, "You have destroyed me," but the dong was still rising and he had to stop the rise of donger for the good of trollkind. He grabbed the final dong firmly. Gamzee came immediately. But Karkat could not let the donger go free. He must end dongerkind once and for all.
But he had never had a sexual encounter before so he didn't know what to do and just stared at it. Then he bit it and the donger had -15 HP. It went flaccid and they had a brohug; good job Karkat. The day was safed from the donger menace. Feels jam began. Dave appeared on the TV and said, "THE DONGER IS ATTACKING." And they knew then and there that Gamzee's dong was not the alpha and omega.
But then they realized that this news report had happened 30 minutes ago, before the dongs attacked, so the threat is actually neutralized. They returned to their dinner. Of dongs.
THE END.