My knees hurt, I'm freezing to death, and I'm blushing from constant embarrassment, but I've never been so at home on my life. I've been kneeling by the door with my collar on and my head down, sans clothes, for about 10 minutes. I used to get bored doing this, but it's been so long now I'm already lost in subspace waiting for my mistress, my queen, my goddess, to come home. I haven't looked at the clock, but I know it's 6:4o pm. Audrey always says she'll be home at 6:45, but she usually comes home 5 minutes early on play days to make sure I'm where I'm supposed to be. I always am, except for once when I overslept. I took a nap after work and woke up to the door opening. I still feel the beating I got that night.

The door opens and I feel a warm hand on the top of my head. I don't look up. I'm supposed to keep my gaze lowered. But I am allowed to smile and feel the warmth in my heart. This is usually the best part of my day. Unless she lets me sit on her lap later. That's the best.

"Hey kitten. Did you miss me?" I nod. "Good girl. I missed you too." She pets my head when she says this.

"Audrey," I look up at my girlfriend, breaking form, but I have to say it. "I love you."

She smiles and tightens her grip on my hair a little. "I love you too pet, but you know I have to punish you for that."

"I know." I smile in defiance. I've been angling for punishment like this every time we play. Audrey swears one of these days she's going to make me regret it, but I know she thinks it's fun.

"Stand up. You're making dinner tonight." I get up and wince at the pain in my knees. I should be used to kneeling by now, but some things don't get easier. Before I can shiver from the cold, I hear, "Go get one of my hoodies from upstairs. Can't have you shaking around hot things." I grin.

"You've made me shake around hot things more than once." Audrey just smiles and sends me upstairs. I pick out a hoodie I got her when we started dating. It's too big for either of us, but it's perfect for wandering around the house naked. Once I'm as clothed as I'll probably be tonight, I go back downstairs. "What do you want to have tonight?"

"Guess."

"Macaroni?"

"You know me."

"I should hope so." I set to work boiling water and singing. I love the feeling of bustling around the kitchen. I love all chores, especially when I get rewarded for them. Making dinner is probably the most normal thing that's going to happen this evening. After that, I'm not Charlotte anymore. I'm kitten, pet, slut, whore, bitch, or some other affectionately degrading pseudonym. After the noodles are done, I bring Audrey her plate and wait patiently for directions on where to sit. Where I eat is usually a good indicator of how far we're going to go that night.

"Floor," she says without looking up. "But you can speak."

I smile. Tonight is going to be good. Rough, but really good. I'm not going to be able to move in the morning, and I might not wake up in my bed, but so insanely good. I take my place on the floor by Audrey's feet and start eating while she pets my hair.

"How many chores did you do while I was gone?"

"Nine."

"Very good girl." She scratches the back of my neck and I shiver in pleasure. "You know what that gets you right?"

"My tail?"

"That's right kitten."

I smile in sheer excitement and anticipation. My tail is one of my favorite toys. It technically doesn't belong to me, but it goes up my ass, so I think that makes it mine. Audrey got it for me when we moved into this house. It's black and really soft. It's longer than most play tails, but I think it's perfect. Wearing it is a privilege, and today I've earned it. It comes with rules, just like the collar does. I'm a kitten when I wear it, like I'm a slave when I wear the collar. When I wear both, I'm nothing but an object, a toy. I only get both on special nights. I couldn't emotionally take being used very often. I get affection as a kitten, and sex as a slave. Both leave me tired, but being used leaves me so drained that I need a day or two of soft touches and words to recover. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It's just emotionally really hard to get hurt by someone you love. Great, but hard.

"Go upstairs and get in position." The order comes without emotion or hesitation, but I know she's excited. She's always excited. And a little nervous. Nothing like when we started though. We were so shy and embarrassed and unsure that we laughed through the whole thing. But now we know each other's limits and tells and body language, everything. We can just fall into play like this without having to discuss, unless we're doing something new. Then we just talk about it, as equals, and make sure we know what we're doing. I'm always in charge of research – Audrey doesn't have the patience or the attention span for it – so I get to bring up everything I want to try. Most of it gets her excited, but she'd always very insistent about not hurting me too badly, no matter how much I swear I can take it. My only hard limit is no head restraints; not being able to move like that terrifies me. But besides that, I try everything and cast judgement after. It's led to a lot of discovery and a lot of orgasms. Not to mention a heap of embarrassing failures. We're able to laugh through most of them. Once we were having some fun in our car and I lost our apartment key, leaving us outside, naked, stuck in a blue 2010 Mustang until Audrey broke the lock on the door. Cost us a couple hundred bucks to replace, but it seems hilarious now.

When I'm upstairs, I take off Audrey's hoodie and kneel at the foot of the bed. The position is intentionally uncomfortable. It took me a long time to learn how to hold it, but I can sit on my legs like this for hours now. I don't always like it, but it usually promises something fun in time. I'm never sure how long I'll have to hold this position. Sometimes it's five minutes, sometimes it's three hours. Any more than an hour leaves me unable to walk for a bit; I'm legitimately helpless for a while after. Hopefully it won't be too long this time, Until Audrey gets back, I'm not allowed to move or speak unless it's an emergency. I learned early on that "dangerous horniness" is not an emergency. I can still feel the beating I got for that. It hurt for days. The marks on my back were so bad that one of my coworkers asked if things were okay with me and Audrey. I laughed and promised that things were more than okay.