NOTE: This is a very big change in pace from my last fanfiction. To fans of Spirit of Succession: worry not, I will be working on another Fire Emblem fanfiction after this.

Kalec knew he had made a mistake when he landed face first in the ruins of Ahn'qiraj. He mentally reminded himself to stop smoking Draenic Fireweed with Nozdormu. Smoking made life as an ex-aspect easier, but it also led to Nozdormu pulling drugged up bullshit. For example, sending Kalecgos to spend a day with "The Top 10 best and worst characters of Warcraft" according to something called "The Champion known as Ememoe." What was Warcraft anyways? And why "characters?" Nozdormu knew something.

Kalec had rightly assumed he would start with the worst "character." But it wasn't in the way he thought. When he landed in Ahn'qiraj, he expected Cho'gall or even C'thun. But not even in his worst nightmares would he expect to be in his current situation. Standing in front of him was a creature so horrible, so disgusting, that even the mighty blue dragon had to hold back literal gallons of vomit.

"Well, golly! Hey there friend, it looks like you're in a pickle." It was Med'an. Thankfully, Med'an had disappeared where Kalec was five minutes ago. But it seems Nozdormu had sent him back in time to when that horrible creature still walked Azeroth.

"NO! FUCK THIS, NOZDORMU CAN'T MAKE ME DO THIS!" Kalec turned into his dragon form and tried to fly away, but he found that Med'an had somehow followed him into the sky.

"Boy, what about Nozdormu? Isn't he the Bronze Aspect?"

"NOTHING! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Kalec tried to use his ice breath on Med'an, but it was deflected by his tempered Metzenite plot armor. The ice hit Kalec square in the chest and froze him in a block of ice that crashed into the dunes of Silithus. "Well, at least I can die now…" thought Kalec.

But death was not to come on this black day. Med'an landed and used his godly powers of Palashamagic to melt the ice. Kalec tried to fly away, but he was weakened. He assumed his human form in an effort to slip away, but Med'an grabbed his hand.

"Now, now. Why so eager to run away?"

"Because… you're so… damn... Stupid."

"Why, I'm the Guardian! You've gotta have some brains for that."

"Yeah… but you know who didn't have brains? Whoever thought a half human, quarter orc, quarter draenei was a good idea."

Med'an was visibly hurt. "Well that's not very nice!"

Kalec sort of felt guilty after that. After all, Med'an did save his life. "Ugh. Sorry… I guess. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Kalec immediately regretted asking.

"OH BOY!" Med'an suddenly grabbed Kalec by the ankle and zoomed into the air, where he flew around with Kalec, still held by the ankle, all the way to Thousand Needles. Those gallons of vomit being held in from earlier were poured all over the unsuspecting Silithids below.

Kalec knew he had made a mistake when they landed at some Gnomish ice cream shop and Med'an thought they served glue and crayon flavored ice cream. After arguing for about an hour with the shopkeep, Med'an just got some frozen glue stuck in a cone.

But that's when Kalec saw his chance. He whispered to the shopkeep, "Hey, tell him that it's not glue and you need to take it back."

The gnome scowled and whispered back. "No! We've been arguing for hours! Unless you want to buy him some good ol' bleach ice cream, I'm done!"

Kalec grinned. "You read my mind."

The gnome suddenly leaped over his stand and kicked the cone out of Medaniel's hand.

Med'an suddenly turned around, flames in one hand and a ball of elemental molten crayon wax forming in the other. "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE MY GLUE?"

The gnome stepped back. "I-it wasn't real glue! It w-was an accident!"

Med'an roared his orc-draenei-human roar and blasted the unfortunate gnome with the crayon wax and flames, killing him. Med'an turned to Kalec. "YOU BETTER GET ME SOME DAMN GOOD GLUE ICE CREAM… OR YOU'RE NEXT."

Kalec gulped. He went in the back. He'd need to make the bleach look like glue. So he poured all of the glue in the vicinity into the cone, then poured a gallon of bleach all over the cone, making it soggy. To fix this, he let out a puff of ice breath, which conveniently made the bleach look like frozen glue and also re-hardened to cone.

"One bl- I mean glue ice cream coming up!"

Med'an snatched the cone out of Kalec's hand at threw the entire thing into his vile maw. Right after that, Med'an started choking on the frozen glue and bleach. He tried to use fire to melt it, but his throat was soon covered in flames. As if that wasn't enough, the bleach melted and Med'an lost control of his powers. In a burst of liquid crayon wax, shitty DeviantArt OCs, and tarnished Metzenite, Med'an exploded and was no more.

Kalec breathed a sigh of relief. But right after that, Kalec remembered why he was there in the first place. As if on cue, a Bronze Drake picked Kalec up and threw him into a time portal to his next destination: the second worst character.

"DAMN IT, NOZDORMU!"