Welcome To The Jungle
11:55 a.m. in West City, 2 men walk into a bar. One of them is about 6 foot, lean with a black bandana, denim jacket and jeans. The other is shorter with long blonde hair, a leather jacket, ripped jeans and cowboy boots. These aren't any ordinary men. They are bounty hunters, and they are looking for their next bounty…
Longhaired bounty hunter, yelling: Has anyone seen Johnny Gunners!? He's tall and ugly!
The bar grows silent.
Gunners: And who might you be?
Longhaired bounty hunter: That's not important. Me and my partner here are bounty hunters and you're next on our list!
Gunner: You!? A bounty hunter!?
Gunners and the whole bar breaks out in hysterical laughter
Gunners, in laughter: Hey Tim get a lot of this guy. This little shrimp thinks he's gonna get the bounty that our fine enforcement officials have put on my head.
Tim, also in laughter: That's great. I needed a good laugh.
Longhaired bounty hunter: What did you just call me?
Gunners: What? Shrimp?
Longhaired bounty hunter: Yea that's it.
Taller bounty hunter: Cool it bro, let's take this outside. We're out numbered.
Longhaired bounty hunter: Right. Hey Gunners, let's settle this outside.
Gunners: Yea, yea, whatever. Let's get this over with. Come on fellas.
The two bounty hunters walk outside followed by the Gunners. The longhaired bounty hunter and Gunners stand across each other with their hands at their holsters.
Longhaired bounty hunter: Hey bud what time is it?
Taller bounty hunter: 11:59.
Longhaired bounty hunter, to Gunners: Any last words Gunners!?
Gunners: Yea. Barkeep, get me a shot of Jack. I'm gonna be thirsty after I kill this shrimp!
The whole city is silent until the clock strikes noon. Gunners and the longhaired bounty hunter draw their guns and shoot. The longhaired bounty hunter slides to the ground as he shoots, dodging Gunners' bullet. Gunners is shot and falls to the ground. Everyone is in shock. The longhaired bounty hunter walks towards Gunners and kicks his gun out of his hand.
Gunners, weakly: Who-who the hell are you?
The longhaired bounty hunter puts his gun right up to Gunner's face
Longhaired bounty hunter: Silvers. Pearcy Silvers…. Bang!
Pearcy pistol-whips Gunners and Tim points his gun at Pearcy.
Tim: You son of a bitch! You won't get away with this!
The other bounty hunter, Scallion, points his gun at Tim
Scallion: Drop your weapon or you'll end up like your friend here
The rest of the Gunners point their guns at Scallion and Pearcy
Scallion: Looks like they're not gonna go quietly Pearcy
Pearcy: Guess we're just gonna have to make 'em squeal a little. Barkeep! I'll think I'll be taking Gunners' shot plus a beer! Put it on Gunners' tab!
Tim: Die!
Pearcy: Shit
Tim shoots at Pearcy but he picks up Gunners' body and uses it as a shield and shoots Tim, through Gunners' body of course. Scallion runs for cover and shoots down three members of the gang. The both run into the bar for extra cover.
Scallion: Why's this have to happen every goddamn time?
Pearcy: With Gunners' dead we're only gonna get half the 5 k
Scallion: Think his gang's worth anything?
Pearcy: Screw that! They got my jacket dirty.
Scallion: Alright. 2 and a half thousand it is
A fire fight breaks out and the remainder of the Gunners is killed
Scallion: I think they're dead
Pearcy: Ya think? I was wondering why no one was shooting at us.
Scallion: Let's check it out.
They both check every body
Pearcy: Everyone's dead. Damn it! Wouldn't the cops want these guys dead any way? Dead or alive, screw that!
As Pearcy says this one of the Gunners takes aim for Pearcy
Gunner gang member: Take this you bastard!
Scallion shoots him dead
Scallion: Yea there's two of us bitch!
Pearcy: Thanks bud
Scallion, to the bystanders: Hey someone call the police1 A bunch of dead bodies isn't necessarily a tourist attraction! What would the mayor say!?
The cops come and Pearcy and Scallion talk with the Commissioner
Commissioner: Gunners dead is 2 and a half K. the rest of his gang is 500 so that's 2 thousand total
Scallion: That's pretty good bro
Pearcy: Not enough to get us home though
Scallion: We wouldn't have enough even with the 5 K for Gunners and the additional thoudand if his gang was still alive
Pearcy: But we need ammo, food, yada ,yada , yada, blah, blah, blah. You know the drill. Damn it I need a vacation.
Scallion: You know I'm feelin' lucky. Whaddya say we try my luck at the casino.
Pearcy: Sure why not
Three hours later
Scallion runs to Pearcy who's sitting at the bar of the casino
Scallion, out of breath: Hey lemme borrow a hundred.
Pearcy: Did you lose all your money?
Scallion: Maybe….
Pearcy, in anger: Aw goddamn it! Just give me the whole bottle! (Snatches the bottle from the bartender)
Scallion: So you're not gonna let me borrow a hundred?
Pearcy: Piss off!
Another three hours later
Scallion: Hey Peary we should get goin'.
Pearcy, drunk: Well if it isn't Mr. Cock Smoke. Want a cigarette? Oh wait. I forgot you only smoke pole. So here. (Unzips pants)
Bartender: Hey! Get the hell outta here!
Pearcy: What? You jealous? (Stands up with his piece still hanging out)
Bartender: Sir please leave.
Pearcy: It's ok to be jealous. My partner here has a small ding-ding too.
Bartender: Security!
Pearcy, singing and dancing: Shake, shake, shake (Security guard grabs him) Hey what the hell man?
Scallion as another guard grabs him: Hey what did I do?
Both of them are thrown out the bar. Pearcy is on top of Scallion
Scallion: You drunk bastard (Looks down) Ah Pearcy! Put Helmet Head away!
Pearcy: I'm feelin' frisky ladies! Uh-oh.
Scallion: Uh-oh? I know that uh-oh and I hate hearing that uh-oh.
Pearcy: Uh-oh.
Scallion: Turn away, turn away, turn away!
Pearcy throws up on Scallion.
Scallion: Ah goddamn it Pearcy!
Scallion takes his shirt off and helps Pearcy walk down the street
Scallion: Thanks a lot douche bag. I loved that shirt.
Pearcy: Why? It was tie-dye.
Scallion, angrily: It was white 'til you added your mosaic pattern to it!
A girl drives up to them
Girl: Hey guys!
Scallion: Hey…
Pearcy, still drunk: Well hello beautiful
Girl: I saw what you guys did to Gunners and his gang earlier. That was great!
Scallion: Well thank-
Pearcy: You look familiar. Have you been on Girls Gone Wild?
Scallion: Please excuse my friend. He's… uh… drunk out of his mind.
Girl: I can see.
Scallion: Well we should get goin'. Do you know where the nearest hotel is?
Girl: You can stay at the one at the casino but it costs a lot.
Scallion: And money is something we don't have much of.
Girl: Well you guys can sty at my place. It's no problem.
Scallion: Really? Thank you!
Girl: Sure no prob!
Scallion, to Pearcy: You hear that buddy? We've got a place to sleep.
Pearcy: Just don't try any funny stuff on me. I'm not that kinda girl… or boy… ok maybe just a little.
Girl: Right….
Scallion and Pearcy get in the back seat of her car
Girl, as she's driving: You know one of you can sit up front.
Scallion: Yea but if he has to throw up I wanna make sure he gets it out the window.
Girl: Oh ok.
Scallion: Yea that's not too good for the resale value right?
Girl, laughing: Right! So what are your names?
Scallion: Oh I'm Scallion.
Pearcy: And I'm Richard Simmons.
Scallion: No you're Pearcy.
Pearcy: Richard Simm-
Scallion: Pearcy!
Pearcy: Fine!
Scallion, to the girl: What's your name?
Girl: My name's Darlene, but all my friends call me Riot.
Scallion: Riot?
Riot: Yep.
Scallion: That's pretty cool.
Pearcy: I bet you're a riot in the sack
Scallion: Pearcy shut up.
They drive up to her house and park in the driveway
Riot, getting out the car: Well here we are. Home sweet home.
Scallion, helping Pearcy out the car: Easy now buddy.
Pearcy: Hey this isn't Chuck E Cheese!
Scallion: No this is our new friend Riot's house. We're sleeping here.
Pearcy: Riot? Hey you look familiar. Have you been on Girls Gone Wild?
Riot, to Scallion: He's really messed up isn't he?
Scallion: No he's always like this except he usually doesn't slur his words and can walk on his own. Isn't that right Pearcy?
Pearcy: Are we flying?
Scallion: No we're walking.
Pearcy: Then why's it feel like we're flying?
Scallion: 'Cause I'm carrying you.
Pearcy: Oh. You're a good friend!
Scallion: Yea, yea, yea, whatever you drunk bastard.
They walk inside
Riot: Just give him the couch.
Scallion: All right. (Drops Pearcy on the couch)
Pearcy: Wow asshole. That hurt.
Scallion: Go to sleep!
Pearcy: Not until you tuck me in.
Scallion: Tuck yourself in!
Pearcy: Fine! Then tell me a bedtime story!
Scallion: Once upon a time there was a drunk bastard who has to go to sleep. He didn't so I knocked him out. The end!
Pearcy: Aw that's one of my favs!
Riot: Here's a blanket.
Pearcy: Thank you! Hey! You look familiar. Have you been on Girls Gone Wild?
Scallion: Go to sleep!
Pearcy: Night
Scallion and Riot go into the kitchen and have a cup of coffee
Scallion: So do you live here all alone?
Riot: No I live with my brother.
Scallion: Oh where is he?
Riot: He's away.
Scallion: On business?
Riot: You could say that. He's a bounty hunter as well.
Scallion: I'm guessing he's smart and doesn't leave home flat ass broke like me and Pearcy did.
Riot: No he only dabbles now. He used to do it all the time, until mom died and he came back home.
Scallion: Oh I'm sorry.
Riot: It's ok. If I didn't have my brother I don't know what I'd do.
Scallion: If you don't mind me asking, what's his name?
Riot: Oh no not at all. His name is Stephen Cantrell.
Scallion: As in 'the' Stephen Cantrell?
Riot: So you've heard of him?
Scallion: My God yes. Who hasn't? He's a lengend in the bounty hunter field. He's actually the reason Pearcy wanted to become a bounty hunter.
Riot: Really?
Scallion: Yea.
Riot: If you don't mind me asking, why did you?
Scallion: Me and Pearcy have been best friends forever so I knew I had to go with him. All for one and one for all. We've gotta look out for each other.
Riot: That's sweet.
Scallion: He's done it for me plenty.
As the night goes on Scallion and Riot talk more, having a lot to talk about and a lot of laughs
Scallion, yawns: It's getting' late. We should hit the hay. So where am I sleeping?
Riot: Well your friend's sleeping on the couch and the only other bed we have besides mine is my brother's.
Scallion: So am I sleeping on the floor?
Riot: You can or you can share my bed with me. If you want to that is.
Scallion: Well…
Riot: Come on.
Scallion: Alright. (As Riot leads him to her room) Sleep well bro.
Pearcy, in his sleep: Go get 'er tiger!… Who do you think you are? That's an out door!… Ok just this once.
Pearcy you better get some rest 'cause you never know what's in store for you the next day. You better get some rest too Scallion, well, if you can. Stay tuned for another episode of The Outlaw Torn!