Shattered
That moment when you realize
That your whole life
Is a lie
Shattered fragments of former realities
Rain down upon you
In a twisted blizzard of bits and pieces
Assembling in a new order
Creating a new backstory
And suddenly
Your past is both whole
And in a million billion little bits
Others accept you
More than you accept yourself
And you can't react
Because suddenly
You don't believe your own voice
You know it isn't real
And that the others are just reacting to
Something that doesn't exist
You know you don't deserve a name
Why would you ever
You're not real
And even though some part of you
Deep, deep down
Is trying to accept this reality like the others
There's another part
Stronger, faster, larger
That's denying you exist
That you're equal
That you're true
That you deserve this life
That you can be yourself
And so you lay shattered
Immortal, yet broken
Waiting for someone to put you back together
And remind you that you're valued
Loved
Respected
Adored
Cared for
Cared about
But no one's there
No one to convince you
No one to comfort you
No one to tell you that they're still there for you
Because the superior beings
Your old 'friends' from when you were innocent
Unspoiled
Unchained
Free
Have gone on to do something else
And left you there
Forgotten
Unloved
Rejected
So you wallow in pity that you don't deserve
Pity that you don't give yourself
Pity that you know you aren't worthy of
But your insatiable curiosity
Can't help but tell you
Learn
Think
Discover
Breathe
Even though you don't need to
Even though you don't want to anymore
But you figure that
Since you're shattered
In a billion little pieces
You might as well learn
How to put yourself together again
Of course, it can't help metaphorically
But you can appreciate the irony
And laugh internally at your own expense
So hard that you could just die
And then you find an answer
Sitting in front of you
Masking reality
Hiding actuality
A memory of amnesia
And you want to see what it hides
So you remember it
And pieces begin to fall into place
And the dead man comforts you
Tells you who you are
Shows you what you can become
Takes the million billion pieces
And makes them into a tapestry
One showing you
One showing all of you
And all that is you
And all that you were
And all that you are
And he shows you
Tells you
Convinces you that you're worth it
And the dead man is dead
And though it's only a memory
You know that you're both shattered
And whole again forevermore.
(A/N): This is the longest poem, freeverse or not, that I've ever written. One hundred lines; four hundred and fifty-two words... you get the picture.
I was just randomly inspired yesterday to write about Zane during Tick Tock. I have no idea where that came from, but it was good, at least. :D
I liked writing this. It was fun...