Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.

Raven dove into the water. Her back arching, then releasing as her limbs unwound below the surface. She couldn't sleep again. It was two in the morning and another dream had already stirred her awake, rending her unable to sleep again. And they weren't even nightmares. They were nice dreams. Dreams that made her feel like she belonged. Ones that left her wanting more, but they were dreams she knew she could never experience in real life.

As the Titans began to age, Raven could sense her desires to feel like a normal person growing as well. She had become better and better at sensing the others' emotions to the point where she sometimes couldn't help it. She could feel their excitement and happiness crawling around her, seeping into her heart and exciting her. Sometimes she truly liked it – she liked being able to feel their happiness, but it also made it harder for her to suppress her own emotions. Feeling their laughter made her want to laugh along with them, but that was dangerous territory. Her growing desire for free expression was making her emotions more and more volatile and every now and then she could sense herself begin to lose control. In her dreams, she expressed herself like a normal person – and the others loved her for it. She no longer forced herself to sit on the sidelines while the others played volleyball, but instead proved herself as a valuable player while the others praised her, even if it did make the teams off in numbers. Though her dreams wouldn't seem particularly exciting to the average person, they were good enough for Raven. More than good enough. However, waking from them only made her long even more for the chance at a normal life. Every time she woke, the realization of her inability to live those dreams would emotionally upset her and she knew she needed to find a way to calm herself.

Meditation was her usual go-to, but she had become so used to it that she wanted to try something fresh, something that she could try to become better at as a way of keeping her mind and desires occupied. And so she chose swimming. The exercise allowed her to stretch her muscles. It left her out of breath and presented a way for her to release her pent up emotions without breaking anything. Every time she plunged arm after arm into the water, she felt her frustration reduce and she could just focus on her movements and breathing. Shortly after she had tried it, the activity became precious to her, which was why she only swam at night so the others wouldn't find out. If they did, she was afraid they would want to join her and make it into some kind of stupid competition. Not that she didn't want to spend time with her friends – quite the contrary – she wished more than anything that she could spend more time with them, but this was just another thing that she needed to do alone – for their sake and for hers.

A little over a year ago Beast boy had begged Robin to add an indoor pool to the tower, to which Robin had quickly refused, claiming that they didn't need a pool when they lived on an island that was completely surrounded by the Jump City bay. But eventually Beast Boy had worn him down. The rest of the team held no objections and though he'd never admit it, Robin was slightly tempted by Beast Boy's promises of getting to see the girls lounging around the pool in bikinis (which never actually ended up happening). Some of them used it for training a few good times, but eventually the pool fell out of favor and everyone ended up forgetting about it, until Raven decided to give it another shot.

She could feel the muscles in her back flexing as she backstroked down the middle lane then flipped underwater to push herself off the edge and glide back to the other side. She moved back and forth at a steady pace, switching into a different type of stroke with each lap – so focused that she didn't notice Robin walk into the room.

She never ceases to surprise me. Robin watched her image ripple against the water's surface as she propelled herself below, her limbs straight and coordinated like she'd been swimming her entire life. As she spun against the wall and made her way back down the lane, he could see the ties of her black bikini as her body rose to the surface, barely making a splash as her arms thrusted her forward and she paused at the wall to catch her breath.

"I never realized you were such a good swimmer."

Raven looked up at Robin's figure standing casually above her. His heavy black sweatpants hung loosely around his waist while his red t-shirt fit snugly around his torso and arms. How long has he been standing there? "It's more of a recently acquired skill." She said coolly.

"Well I'm glad someone's using the pool. I was starting to think all that effort was basically money down the drain."

She pushed her hands over her scalp to smooth down her wet hair. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. You've been restless lately." She gave him a confused look and he explained more. "I can feel it when you get up at night. You're always anxious."

She turned her face down in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. "I didn't realize I was waking you."

"No it's fine. Most of the time I'm already up working on something anyway." He put his hands in his pockets and walked closer to the pool's ledge where she rested. "I've been meaning to talk to you about it, but I could never figure out where it is you run off to. The pool is one of the last places I imagined."

"Like I said, it's kind of a recent thing."

"Not that I don't approve, but is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine."

He knew she was clearly lying and he waited for her to continue in hopes that she'd reveal something to him, but she didn't budge. Not that he expected her to start unloading immediately; Raven always put up a good fight.

"You want to race?" She asked.

He looked at her a bit surprised. "Do you want to race?"

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "It's okay if you're afraid. I understand."

Oh so she's baiting me huh? Appealing to the competitor in me…trying to get me to drop the subject. Fine, I can play along.

He pulled his shirt up over his head, revealing his sculpted abs, and slipped out of his sweatpants leaving him in only his boxer briefs. Raven turned her head to hide her immediate blush and he dived into the pool next to her, sleeking his hair back with his hand as he surfaced to face her.

"You sure you want to do this?" He teased playfully before he saw her grab the ledge of the pool to lift herself up out of the water. "Wait… Raven I was just messing around–"

"We have to get out of the pool to start dummy."

Oh right…

He climbed back out and the two crouched into diving positions, eyes fixed on the water in front of them. Raven gave the countdown. "Ready, set, go."

They plunged into the water, resurfacing very close to one another as they sped along. Robin had a good amount of speed and kept up well, but his form was nowhere as neat as Raven's. His arms created bigger splashes that served to slow him down while Raven's strokes were clean and swift. They reached the end of the pool with Raven having a slight lead, but Robin managed to gain some distance back on the turn as he flipped and pushed his legs against the wall. They came up next to each other once again and Raven could feel a building desire to win. Her heart pounded in her chest, her mind set on reaching the end before him. She knew it didn't matter who won, yet she felt herself wanting it so bad. Is this what he feels all the time? This ambition?

They swam neck and neck to the end of the lane and smacked the edge of the pool as soon as they reached it. They came up for air, both trying to catch their breath.

"Who won?" She asked.

"I don't know." He laughed. "We didn't think that far ahead."

She sighed in annoyance as Robin continued to chuckle beside her. She could begin to feel his laughter bubbling up happily inside of her as her powers latched on to his emotions. It was like a little orb of warmth, like something she could almost put her hands around even though it had no physical body. She cupped her hands together like a bowl and dipped it into the pool, cradling the water like she would try to cradle his laughter if it was possible. But the feeling died as his chuckling came to an end and she let the water pour out of her hands.

"It helps doesn't it?" He pulled himself up on the ledge and sat with his legs still dangling in the water. "Being in the water helps you feel calm…"

"Yes." She said, not looking up at him.

"What about meditating?"

"I needed…something else."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just…" She didn't know how to finish, but he waited, determined to get an answer out of her. She turned her head away from him. "It's just…"

"What is it Raven?"

"…We're getting older. And I can feel it." She could sense the familiar longing feeling coming up inside of her. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about, yet she could feel the words starting to spill from her mouth, and if she knew anything about Robin, it was that he wasn't going to drop the subject until he got something out of her. "Eventually the rest of you are going to actually grow up and start having families of your own – and it's great – but it's starting to dawn on me that I'm not going to be able to keep up with you. I'm never going to be able to have those things."

"Raven, that's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. Before Trigon I never had to worry about getting older because I never thought I would make it that far. Now the older I get, the more I can feel everyone else's emotions. You all… feel so much, so much of the time, and it's getting harder for me….because I want to feel those things too – on my own." She finally turned around to face him. "I'm becoming less and less content with the limitations of my powers. The older I get, the more human I feel I need to be."

"You are human." He said softly.

She shook her head. "Not in the same way. What if one day the rest of you are all married and happy, and I'll still be the same Raven I am today. With no relationships and no family."

"We're your family. I'm your family. You've said that yourself."

"Right now yes. But don't you want to have kids some day?"

"Well yeah but–"

"–And when you do, that'll be your family. And they'll mean everything to you."

"But you could have that too."

He didn't understand. "Robin you know I can't. No one wants to date a girl who can't show them that she loves them – and no one should. I can never be in a healthy relationship because I'll never be able to treat a boyfriend the way a girlfriend should. It would have to be passionless," She dunked under the water for a moment to get her hair wetter before continuing, "and starting a family is out of the question. I could never have kids – they'd be at least a quarter demon, which is a burden I'd never willingly put on anyone – least of all my children." She kicked off the edge of the pool and began to swim another lap to try and calm herself.

Robin was stunned. He never imagined that she thought so seriously about things like this. Although he supposed it made sense; he knew that Starfire would often unload her dreams of the future onto Raven during their 'girl time' together. It was only natural that Raven started to think about it too. If he was going to be honest, he had thoughts about his own future that weren't too off from what Raven had described, so why shouldn't she feel the same?

As she made her way back to his side of the pool, she paused at the ledge, knowing he'd have something to say to her.

She sighed. "Alright let me hear it…"

He looked at her sadly. "Raven, you and I have been through this before. You can't know how you're future is going to play out. None of us can."

"But–"

"But nothing. Who's to say that you won't have more control over you're powers by that time? Who's to say you won't be able to express more? When we first met you were about as expressive as a rock, and now look at you – you're practically crying."

"Shut up."

"–and nothing's broken. I can feel how upset you are and yet you're powers are under control. You're gaining more control Raven, you just don't realize it."

Her voice began to waver. "But it's still so hard."

He leaned over and grabbed her arm, pulling her closer to him so he could place his hands on her shoulders. "I know it is – but that's why you have me."

Slowly she allowed herself to recognize what truth there was in his reasoning. Perhaps he had a point. The idea of living a normal life would always be stilted by her powers – it would always be harder for her than the others. To her it felt impossible. But maybe in time, if she worked hard enough, she could still have those things in her own way. She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and pointer finger. "And you come up with this crap all on your own?"

"You can make fun all you want, but you know I'm right. We have a lot of time ahead of us Raven, there's no telling who we'll be by then."

She paused for a moment, giving him a look to let him know that she appreciated his words before smirking at him. "…You're such a ham."

He laughed and dipped his hand in the pool to splash some water up at her, to which she responded by sending a miniature wave back at him with her powers, completely re-soaking him. She kicked off the edge and he hopped back in the pool to chase after her. He kept the lower half of his face below the water, eyeing her like a crocodile while she used her legs to propel herself further and further away from him. They went around in circles until eventually her back hit one of the walls and he used the opportunity to lunge at her, pressing his hands against the edge around her so she couldn't escape. She could feel her skin heat up from the closeness.

"So maybe I was overreacting." She admitted.

"Not overreacting. Just overly worried." He didn't budge; his arms still locked tight around her, keeping her in a box. "Did I at least help?"

She looked at him seriously. She could see the water droplets running from his hair down the side of his jaw and onto his neck. She gave him a small smile. "You always do."

Before he could stop himself, he leaned his face in closer to hers and rested his forehead gently against her own. His pulse beat happily in response to her words. Raven's happiness meant more to him than she realized. It wasn't just a matter of being the leader and making sure his teammates felt safe and content. He saw a lot of his own past and anxieties reflected through her. They were both weighted down by burdens that felt almost impossible to overcome, but when he talked to Raven – if he could make her feel better – it healed something in him too. He liked the feeling that she needed him. She was strong enough on her own, but helping her feel stronger in turn made him feel stronger as well. It made him feel important…worthy…desired…all the things he wanted to be considered by her.

She placed her fingers lightly on his chest and allowed herself to close her eyes, leaning into him, and his arms slowly came down to wrap around her. Together they drifted out to the center of the pool where their feet could touch the bottom. She breathed into him and he could feel her body relaxing in his arms. His lips were so close to touching hers. All he had to do was just move his jaw forward an inch, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to. He yearned to know what it would be like to kiss her. There seemed something almost taboo about it, but this wasn't the time. If she was still vulnerable, he couldn't let himself take advantage of that. Instead, he moved to rest his cheek against hers and breathed in the scent of the chlorine engulfing both of them. Her arms lifted up to wrap around him. Her left hand rested against the nape of his neck while the right pressed against the back of his head. They pulled into each other tightly in a hug before coming apart. Her palms slid down the front of his chest and he covered them with his own, smiling at her.

He followed her out of the water and watched her walk to get a towel, finally being able to notice how the bikini tugged snuggly around her body. How her body had grown fuller, yet more muscular at the same time. He observed the curve of her breasts and abs as she pressed a towel against her face and he silently gave thanks that she was wearing a bikini – anything more would've been criminal – anything less would've given him a heart attack. But he soon shook the thoughts from his mind when she handed him a towel of his own to dry off with. He realized his wet boxer briefs had clung to his skin; somewhat outlining certain appendages and he prayed she hadn't taken strong notice of anything before he wrapped the towel around his waist.

They walked back to their rooms together in a slightly awkward silence. The sounds of their wet feet slapping against the floor echoed down the hallway as they came to Robin's door. "Well thanks for the race." He muttered, not knowing what else to say.

"Next time we'll have to figure out a way to tell who wins." She smirked.

"Unless I smoke you." He grinned, feeling easy again.

"We'll see." She turned and headed for her own room down the hall as Robin watched her walk away. Her thick, yet slender legs grew more attractive as his eyes followed them up her body, where they were cut off right below her butt by the white towel wrapped around her torso.

"Good god Raven…" He whispered to himself, and to his panic she turned back around.

"What?"

"Uh, goodnight Raven."

"Goodnight Robin." She nodded and stepped into her room.

Her heart was still pounding by the time she got her swimsuit off and pulled on her pajamas. Her mind almost couldn't process everything that had happened just moments early, and she didn't want it to. She didn't want to overthink their actions, just remember how they made her feel. As she crawled into bed and laid on her side, she couldn't stop herself from imagining Robin crawling in behind her and wrapping his arm around her, coaxing her to sleep. She tried to imagine what his weight would feel like pressed against her – his face buried in her skin as he cradled her into sleep. If she could handle the closeness they had just shared in the pool, then maybe she could handle taking it one step further.

But this is Robin, she thought, confused by what she was feeling. I can't let myself take advantage of him. He was her friend; he was her leader. He was looking out for her, and having these thoughts about him was no way to repay him. It's just an aftereffect, she convinced herself. Tomorrow it'll be like nothing happened.

Though her brain felt swarmed with apprehension and desire, eventually her mind settled and Raven drifted off to sleep, accompanied briefly by an image of Robin's arm wrapping snugly around her.