Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel comics or characters or movies, and am making no money off of this fic.
AN: Written for the October 12th Whumptober prompt: electrocution.
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Hidden by luvsanime02
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Natalia Romanoff seizes in the chair, her body jerking and shaking, and she can't control her reaction. She screams. She'll be punished even more for that later. She's punished for everything, though. For existing, most of all. Nothing ever helps.
They could put a gag in her mouth if they didn't want to hear her screams, but that's not the point. The point isn't what they can do for her, or to her. It's what Natalia can do for herself. They're training Natalia to become the ultimate soldier, and to surpass everyone else, even her trainers.
Natalia no longer wants to surpass them at all. She doesn't want to become one of the monsters that they all are. She's becoming one, anyway.
She wonders if they know, though. If her trainers have somehow found out about Natalia's change deep down inside, so deep that she hesitates to call it a real change at all. She wonders if they can see into her soul. She already knows that they can see into her mind.
Maybe that's the reason for this new 'test'. For this next level of training. Or maybe she would have ended up here right now, anyway. Maybe this was always the next step.
"Concentrate, Natalia," her trainer scolds, but Natalia doesn't see how she can do that when her body's on fire, every nerve screaming in agony. She's been tortured before, but never like this. Never this all-consuming.
She has to stay firm, Natalia knows. She has to endure. The pain of electrocution won't kill her. Her trainers won't allow that, not this far into her training. Natalia knows that she is special. She just wishes that she wasn't.
They won't kill her body, but they'll kill her soul if she lets them, and with every pulse of electricity that runs through her, lighting every nerve on fire, they get closer and closer to accomplishing this goal.
Natalia can't let them do that. She shuts down, goes away deep inside, and screams until her voice cracks. Screams some more. She can't even hear herself screaming by the time that they say she's done for the day, because Natalia's shoved herself too deeply down.
Maybe, one day, she just won't ever come back out again. The idea should probably scare Natalia more than it does.