Strings

By: Manigault

Disclaimer: They are so not mine but I love to take them out and play with them. CBS gets to officially mess with them.

Note: When I watched two different interviews with WP I had two different reactions. The first interview was after Grissom returned from sabbatical and WP was basically saying that he felt that Grissom and Sara were having a "secret affair". His wording disturbed me, especially after the letter, but then I watched a post LD interview with WP where he says that Grissom came to a "realization" about his relationship with Sara. It was the word "realization" that intrigued me and I've tried to view their whole relationship on that angle from Grissom's point of view. So, basically this begins post "Snakes" where I personally think things heated up between the two and carried forward. I don't things got "serious serious" until after "Committed", but who really knows.

This is just one of many possibilities. Hope the timeline makes sense. Sigh. Bigh sigh. I'm just trying to pass the time until the premier and hope to help others do the same.

(1 of 2)

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Grissom leaned his elbows on his desk and stared at the chair that Sara had vacated only minutes ago.

"We both know you're the reason I moved to Vegas."

Those words were imprinted on his mind and set on replay.

Choices.

He always knew that he had a choice where Sara was concerned. She'd always given him a choice and he'd hidden from her by pulling back into the recesses of his mind. Pushing her away. Obsessing over a victim that resembled her almost to the point of being ridiculous and unable to take that risk with the true object of his obsession.

So many questions. What was keeping him from asking her out on a date? Why couldn't he take the risk? What would happen if he drove over to her apartment and knocked on the door?

No strings attached.

A scowl danced over his face as he dismissed the idea as quickly as it formed.

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Timing.

When he approached Sara's apartment it wasn't supposed to be like this, not this apprehension that swamped his mind as his legs somehow carried him slowly to her door and he struggled with what he would say to her after being instructed by Conrad that he was to let her go.

There was no doubt in his mind that he would never allow that to happen, not on his watch. At the same time he knew that it was time for Sara to come clean with him concerning the internal struggle that was affecting her actions at work. She was wary. He was nervous but persistent. At long last he broke through some barrier that she'd put up around herself for most of her life and he was the one that was privaleged to be allowed entrance to her inner turmoil.

As much as he wanted to deny it, nothing was ever the same between them after her confession.

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She'd been in his office today and was giving him details about her latest case when she'd abruptly stopped, glanced at the floor, smiled nervously and told him she should leave. He'd been startled out of the semi trance he'd found himself in the second she had appeared in his doorway. Had he made any comment or had he simply stared at her with a blankness that had made her stammer an apology and leave.

Standing abruptly Grissom grabbed his coat before he could convince himself that it was a very bad idea and effectively pushed all logic to the back of his mind.

He rapped quickly on the door of Sara's apartment before he could lose his nerve. On the verge of turning away he'd lowered his eyes and began an internal discussion with himself about the lapse of reason on his part when he heard a click and suddenly felt her eyes boring into him.

"Grissom. This can't be good if you're here. What did I do this time?" Sara leaned on the door frame and studied him with concern.

Confusion was apparent in her voice and in her eyes as he lifted his own to meet her gaze and offer a weak smile. "You didn't do anything wrong, Sara. It's..."

When he hesitated she pressed. "It's what?"

She tried not to think of the conversation they'd had in his office today. Gripping the door knob tightly she corrected her thoughts and amended the word conversation to ramble. She was always over talking around him and today was no exception. Had he even opened his mouth?

"It's me." Grissom rubbed his jaw and felt the beard he'd grown graze his fingers with roughness. "I want..." Grissom sighed and shook his head the smallest fraction as he felt like a school boy asking a girl out on a first date. "You tell me that you over talk around me and apparently I get tongue tied. There may be a solution to our problem."

He lifted an open palm and indicated the doorway in unspoken request. Sara held the door open and stepped back, permitting him access while she tried to breathe evenly. She'd stepped over several lines lately like when she'd admitted that he was the reason that she'd moved to Vegas. She'd later confessed her sordid background to him and after contemplating it for the past few weeks he decided that it would be best if she left Vegas. Problem solved.

"Your solution?" Sara asked as they settled on opposite ends of the sofa and decided to get straight to the point. "Are you firing me?"

Grissom's head shot up and he wondered if he looked as stunned as he felt. "No! Why would you think..." With a growl, Grissom rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath.

"Then tell me what solution that you feel would benefit us?" Sara expected to feel the tension ease, but it increased in increments.

"No strings attached." Grissom stated without looking in her direction.

"Excuse me?" Sara rubbed one ear and wondered if she was hearing things. "Explain, please."

With his elbows on his knees, Grissom stared at her coffee table and searched for an explanation that wouldn't send her into fits of laughter, or worse, make her angry and offended.

"I want to spend time with you on a personal level. No work. No outside interference. You and me."

"Seriously? As in buddies that chill out together or as in buddies that have sex and chill out together?" Sara tried not to smile as she heard his sharp intake of breath. The smile faded when he directed a look in her direction that was almost predatory.

"What if I said the latter? Would I be stepping over a line?"

A chill ran up her spine as she unconsciously leaned towards him and swallowed over the lump in her throat. "No." A whisper. It came out as a whisper and she was surprised that it came out at all.

The next few seconds were a blur as he closed the distance between them and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck pulling her towards him before he could convince himself this was all a mistake. It wasn't his intention to come here and seduce Sara.

It wasn't the reason that he'd driven to her apartment and practically propositioned her by asking her to become his secret lover and behind the scenes friend as it were. But that's exactly what happened. To his astonishment they became lovers that night and slowly their relationship evolved into something he refused to name.

Avoidance.

That was a word he lived by and he was practicing it the day he asked Sophia out to dinner after she'd informed him that she was leaving the department. He had to prove to himself that what he'd been doing after work with Sara wasn't serious. He wasn't going to let someone control his life so he had to prove it to himself and show Sara that he wasn't easily controlled. Childish, but he didn't think about the consequences.

It was terrible. The evening was a complete dud. He kept looking at his watch until Sophia finally gave up trying to flirt with him to ask if he had someplace to be and he hesitated only a second before admitting that he did.

Sara knew that he'd been out with Sophia, but she never questioned him and only made one comment. "If you ever feel the need to go out with her again, it's over." He'd nodded. He'd agreed silently, however it troubled him that he felt himself tugged back towards the one place he could never leave and that was beside Sara.

Thrilling.

Going home after work to spend a relaxing evening with someone that eased his exhausted mind. There was a part of himself that he didn't want to examine too closely, a part that was completely and irrevocably enthralled with the fact that his relationship with Sara was unbeknownest to anyone that knew them.

Terrifying.

TBC