This story is dedicated to Crystal who once said that she could never cry
again because she had run out of tears. Crystal, may your tears fall like a
beautiful spring rain.
She was mad.
She was furious.
All she saw was red.
Her clenched fists, along with the rest of her body, trembled with rage.
Damn him.
Damn his daft pride.
Damn his idiotic selflessness.
Damn his need to protect his friends.
Damn his ridiculous, sad green eyes.
Damn the effect those stupid eyes had on her.
Oh, how she hated that. That stupid feeling she got every time she caught a glimpse into his eyes. Oh, how she hated the rush of so many confusing feelings. Every time she was assaulted by a hundred different overwhelming emotions: sadness, concern, worry, pain, and heartache. Yet, each time, after she'd learned to breathe again, she'd feel incredible love and sheer happiness that she could still sneak glances into his eyes. He was alive and after the previous year, even that was a miracle.
But he was still a daft prat.
Damn him.
How dare he think that he could just build a wall around himself and exclude everyone who cared about him?
Well, that just wasn't going to happen. He was not going to be alone. She was going to love him, whether he liked it or not.
With this in mind Virginia Weasley went the rest of the way down the girls' dormitory stairs. She stormed over and planted her body directly in front of his vacant, staring eyes.
"Damn you, Harry Potter."
Shocked, green eyes snapped to attention, raising up to meet golden brown for a second, and then looking back into the dying embers of the common room fire.
"What's wrong, Ginny?" he said lamely.
"You," she practically screamed in outrage.
"What do you mean by that?" Harry sighed, his eyes still staring listlessly at the blackened logs in the fireplace.
"I mean," Ginny, tired of talking to the side of his head, grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her, ".you're what's wrong, you prat."
"Oh, all right, then." Harry's voice remained bored but Ginny could see a small piece of curiosity in his emerald eyes.
"Well, don't you want to know why you're a prat?" Ginny asked, harshly releasing his chin.
"Oh, um, sure. Go ahead and tell me."
"Well," Ginny said drew in a breath as she prepared to force feed Harry his many mistakes, "you seem to have it in your head that all your friends are incredibly daft. Which, by the way, we are not, no matter how Ron acts."
Harry's mouth twitched slightly at the corners but he didn't smile. Ginny, who had placed herself in front of the fire, could see a film of pain pass over his face when she mentioned Ron. He regained indifference quickly but seemed more responsive to her.
"Of course you aren't daft. I never said that."
"No but you said a lot of other hurtful things." Again, a wave of pain and quilt crashed behind his glasses but he remained silent.
"What you said to Ron and the twins about our family, the way you treated Neville, the name you called Hermione, we all know it was an act. We know you are just trying to push us away because you think it will protect us from Voldemort."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, we all know Hermione is a M-Mudblood."
Harry visibly winced as the word left his mouth. Ginny felt like crying at the pain he displayed at the very thought of anyone calling one of his best friends that, let alone himself. But she still had a lot to say and couldn't start crying now.
"By Merlin, Harry, you know Hermione is no such thing. She knows you know and though it took a little while, Ron knows that you don't really care about how much money our family has." Ginny gave a short laugh, "The twins and Neville knew you were acting the second you said what you did. The only reason no one has said anything is because they think you'll come to your senses by yourself. I just got tired of waiting. My family's always said I have no patience. I guess they were right."
As Harry continued to sit in silence, Ginny mentally sighed in frustration. She kneeled on the floor in order to meet his eyes.
"Look," she began softly, "the point is, we know you didn't really mean those things. But, Harry, you have to know that distancing yourself isn't going to save anyone. You see, even if you're pretending you don't care about us, we still care about you. That is our decision, and no matter what you do or say, you can't stop us.
"Harry, we know about your nightmares." The head of black hair snapped up, questioning. Ginny exhaled loudly at the look of fear in his eyes. Then, he dropped his head down to stare at his hands.
"Your dormitory mates told us. Silencing Charms only work for a few hours. Merlin, Harry, don't you realize by now that Cedric's death is not your fault? Don't you see that Voldemort is the one responsible for his death and whoever else's you have dreamed about? It's not your fault, and if you don't realize that, stop punishing yourself, and let somebody help, you're going to spend every night of the rest of you life in terror. You are going to be tired every second of every day because you're afraid to sleep at night." Harry's eyes lifted to look into hers, terrified. "Yes Harry, I know that's what you've been doing. I know that's why you're down here at one in the morning when you should be in bed, asleep. We all know. Please stop holding everything in, Harry, please. I know that you think you don't deserve to let it out but you do, you so do." Ginny sighed and took his trembling hands in hers.
"Please, stop doing this. Let someone in and let everything else out. Please, Harry. Cry, scream, throw something, break a chair. Just let me know that you're not dead in there. Let yourself breathe, Harry, please."
Ginny choked as tears fell down her face. For a few moments, they remained in the same position, silent. Ginny continued to hold his hands as Harry's head remained down.
After several long agonizing minutes, Ginny let out a small sob of defeat. She prepared to return to her dormitory when she felt a pressure on her hands as Harry gripped them in his own, still shaking, ones. She turned back to meet his forward-gazing eyes and gasped in shock.
Pain, sorrow, guilt, fear, fatigue, anguish all shone in the emerald depths as tears rapidly spilled from the corners. Ginny could barely breathe under the tidal wave of emotion that poured out of his eyes, the eyes that had held no emotion since last June. Even before, he had been guarded. Now, fourteen years of pain came spilling down his cheeks. Ginny could only sit in shock until a heart-wrenching sob broke through her trance.
Immediately, she enveloped him in her arms, holding him as his body shook. This time, she said nothing, whispered no words of comfort. She just held the man she loved as his walls broke down around him. She embraced him as he struggled for breath after each sob. She just held him.
As Harry began to breathe normally again, he started to move out of her grasp. Feeling his reluctance, she tightened her hold but allowed him to scoot back enough so she could see his eyes. He looked up at her, tired and spent. She put her hand over his heart.
"See, you're still alive. Your heart is still beating. So, now you know you don't have to keep everything inside. You can let it out every once in a while. I promise I'll always be here to help," she whispered.
Harry nodded and gazed gratefully at her.
"Thank you, Ginny. I mean, that's not nearly enough but thanks. You were right; I was being a stupid prat."
"Good, I'm glad we agree," Ginny softly returned Harry's smile.
She could see that this revelation had fatigued his already tired mind. His eyes were bloodshot and dull. They tried repeatedly to fall closed. When Harry let out a big yawn, Ginny laughed.
"All right, go to sleep."
"I would but I don't think I could make it up the stairs," Harry admitted, sheepishly.
"Well then, that's easily solved," Ginny said as she sat on a fluffy couch and patted her lap, inviting him to use it as a pillow. Harry looked skeptical.
"Are you sure? Don't you want to sleep in your own bed?"
"No, it's all right. I could sleep comfortably anywhere. Besides, I'm not really even tired and I can tell you don't really want to be alone. Do you?"
Harry shook his head. As he lowered his head onto her lap, she heard him ask a question.
"How do you do it, Ginny? How do you know me better than anyone else?"
Startled by his question, Ginny sat in silence for several moments. Finally, she looked down to find his eyes closed peacefully as his chest rose and fell steadily in the deep breath of sleep.
Running her fingers through his hair, she whispered her answer.
"Because I love you."
As the common room fire completely died out, the only sound heard was that of two hearts beating strongly. A young woman's eyes drifted shut as the man on her lap softly smiled before he allowed himself to be overcome by sleep.
THE END
She was mad.
She was furious.
All she saw was red.
Her clenched fists, along with the rest of her body, trembled with rage.
Damn him.
Damn his daft pride.
Damn his idiotic selflessness.
Damn his need to protect his friends.
Damn his ridiculous, sad green eyes.
Damn the effect those stupid eyes had on her.
Oh, how she hated that. That stupid feeling she got every time she caught a glimpse into his eyes. Oh, how she hated the rush of so many confusing feelings. Every time she was assaulted by a hundred different overwhelming emotions: sadness, concern, worry, pain, and heartache. Yet, each time, after she'd learned to breathe again, she'd feel incredible love and sheer happiness that she could still sneak glances into his eyes. He was alive and after the previous year, even that was a miracle.
But he was still a daft prat.
Damn him.
How dare he think that he could just build a wall around himself and exclude everyone who cared about him?
Well, that just wasn't going to happen. He was not going to be alone. She was going to love him, whether he liked it or not.
With this in mind Virginia Weasley went the rest of the way down the girls' dormitory stairs. She stormed over and planted her body directly in front of his vacant, staring eyes.
"Damn you, Harry Potter."
Shocked, green eyes snapped to attention, raising up to meet golden brown for a second, and then looking back into the dying embers of the common room fire.
"What's wrong, Ginny?" he said lamely.
"You," she practically screamed in outrage.
"What do you mean by that?" Harry sighed, his eyes still staring listlessly at the blackened logs in the fireplace.
"I mean," Ginny, tired of talking to the side of his head, grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her, ".you're what's wrong, you prat."
"Oh, all right, then." Harry's voice remained bored but Ginny could see a small piece of curiosity in his emerald eyes.
"Well, don't you want to know why you're a prat?" Ginny asked, harshly releasing his chin.
"Oh, um, sure. Go ahead and tell me."
"Well," Ginny said drew in a breath as she prepared to force feed Harry his many mistakes, "you seem to have it in your head that all your friends are incredibly daft. Which, by the way, we are not, no matter how Ron acts."
Harry's mouth twitched slightly at the corners but he didn't smile. Ginny, who had placed herself in front of the fire, could see a film of pain pass over his face when she mentioned Ron. He regained indifference quickly but seemed more responsive to her.
"Of course you aren't daft. I never said that."
"No but you said a lot of other hurtful things." Again, a wave of pain and quilt crashed behind his glasses but he remained silent.
"What you said to Ron and the twins about our family, the way you treated Neville, the name you called Hermione, we all know it was an act. We know you are just trying to push us away because you think it will protect us from Voldemort."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, we all know Hermione is a M-Mudblood."
Harry visibly winced as the word left his mouth. Ginny felt like crying at the pain he displayed at the very thought of anyone calling one of his best friends that, let alone himself. But she still had a lot to say and couldn't start crying now.
"By Merlin, Harry, you know Hermione is no such thing. She knows you know and though it took a little while, Ron knows that you don't really care about how much money our family has." Ginny gave a short laugh, "The twins and Neville knew you were acting the second you said what you did. The only reason no one has said anything is because they think you'll come to your senses by yourself. I just got tired of waiting. My family's always said I have no patience. I guess they were right."
As Harry continued to sit in silence, Ginny mentally sighed in frustration. She kneeled on the floor in order to meet his eyes.
"Look," she began softly, "the point is, we know you didn't really mean those things. But, Harry, you have to know that distancing yourself isn't going to save anyone. You see, even if you're pretending you don't care about us, we still care about you. That is our decision, and no matter what you do or say, you can't stop us.
"Harry, we know about your nightmares." The head of black hair snapped up, questioning. Ginny exhaled loudly at the look of fear in his eyes. Then, he dropped his head down to stare at his hands.
"Your dormitory mates told us. Silencing Charms only work for a few hours. Merlin, Harry, don't you realize by now that Cedric's death is not your fault? Don't you see that Voldemort is the one responsible for his death and whoever else's you have dreamed about? It's not your fault, and if you don't realize that, stop punishing yourself, and let somebody help, you're going to spend every night of the rest of you life in terror. You are going to be tired every second of every day because you're afraid to sleep at night." Harry's eyes lifted to look into hers, terrified. "Yes Harry, I know that's what you've been doing. I know that's why you're down here at one in the morning when you should be in bed, asleep. We all know. Please stop holding everything in, Harry, please. I know that you think you don't deserve to let it out but you do, you so do." Ginny sighed and took his trembling hands in hers.
"Please, stop doing this. Let someone in and let everything else out. Please, Harry. Cry, scream, throw something, break a chair. Just let me know that you're not dead in there. Let yourself breathe, Harry, please."
Ginny choked as tears fell down her face. For a few moments, they remained in the same position, silent. Ginny continued to hold his hands as Harry's head remained down.
After several long agonizing minutes, Ginny let out a small sob of defeat. She prepared to return to her dormitory when she felt a pressure on her hands as Harry gripped them in his own, still shaking, ones. She turned back to meet his forward-gazing eyes and gasped in shock.
Pain, sorrow, guilt, fear, fatigue, anguish all shone in the emerald depths as tears rapidly spilled from the corners. Ginny could barely breathe under the tidal wave of emotion that poured out of his eyes, the eyes that had held no emotion since last June. Even before, he had been guarded. Now, fourteen years of pain came spilling down his cheeks. Ginny could only sit in shock until a heart-wrenching sob broke through her trance.
Immediately, she enveloped him in her arms, holding him as his body shook. This time, she said nothing, whispered no words of comfort. She just held the man she loved as his walls broke down around him. She embraced him as he struggled for breath after each sob. She just held him.
As Harry began to breathe normally again, he started to move out of her grasp. Feeling his reluctance, she tightened her hold but allowed him to scoot back enough so she could see his eyes. He looked up at her, tired and spent. She put her hand over his heart.
"See, you're still alive. Your heart is still beating. So, now you know you don't have to keep everything inside. You can let it out every once in a while. I promise I'll always be here to help," she whispered.
Harry nodded and gazed gratefully at her.
"Thank you, Ginny. I mean, that's not nearly enough but thanks. You were right; I was being a stupid prat."
"Good, I'm glad we agree," Ginny softly returned Harry's smile.
She could see that this revelation had fatigued his already tired mind. His eyes were bloodshot and dull. They tried repeatedly to fall closed. When Harry let out a big yawn, Ginny laughed.
"All right, go to sleep."
"I would but I don't think I could make it up the stairs," Harry admitted, sheepishly.
"Well then, that's easily solved," Ginny said as she sat on a fluffy couch and patted her lap, inviting him to use it as a pillow. Harry looked skeptical.
"Are you sure? Don't you want to sleep in your own bed?"
"No, it's all right. I could sleep comfortably anywhere. Besides, I'm not really even tired and I can tell you don't really want to be alone. Do you?"
Harry shook his head. As he lowered his head onto her lap, she heard him ask a question.
"How do you do it, Ginny? How do you know me better than anyone else?"
Startled by his question, Ginny sat in silence for several moments. Finally, she looked down to find his eyes closed peacefully as his chest rose and fell steadily in the deep breath of sleep.
Running her fingers through his hair, she whispered her answer.
"Because I love you."
As the common room fire completely died out, the only sound heard was that of two hearts beating strongly. A young woman's eyes drifted shut as the man on her lap softly smiled before he allowed himself to be overcome by sleep.
THE END