Turning
Fanfic by Jixie 12/2005
The BIG-O © SUNRISE INC
She said goodbye to her father first.
In a way, it was the hardest. There was so much left unsaid. He knew so many things which she did not understand, and she understood so many things that he did not know. She wanted to share it with him, to learn what he had in his mind, and have the chance to grow close to and love her father.
It was too late for that. She had no choice but to say her farewell and move on.
The rain had stopped, leaving Paradigm City dank and mucky. Soaked to the bone— she wondered if the water could really go that deep.
It was a little trouble tracking down the law enforcer, but she eventually found him. A little bar & lounge called Amadeus, down a dark stairwell where the wet leaves and litter collected. It was surprisingly classy inside, not at all like the hole-in-the-wall the stairs hinted at.
Dan Dastun was lost in his thoughts when she approached. She took a seat at the bar next to him, and listened to the soft piano music while she waited. When he started to come out of his reverie, he noticed the pretty blonde besides him.
"Hey, uh…"
It actually took him a moment to recognize her. Stunned, he stumbled over his words before they finally came out right.
"Angel?"
She smiled politely and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Mr. Dastun. I hope you don't mind—"
"Oh, no! No, no it's okay. Er, I mean… you can call me Dan."
"Of course, Dan. I won't take too much of your time. I just wanted to give you something."
"Hmm?"
Reaching into her jacket, she pulled out her pistol. Vera had given it to her when she'd joined the Union, back before then. Dastun had given it to her when she'd failed to use it, back before… and then…
"To keep some of your sanity," she said, holding the pistol by the barrel and offering it handle-first to Dastun. "Someone once told me that sometimes we need these to prove to ourselves that we are who we are. It's almost sad really, but it may be the best that we have right now. All we can do is accept it… and protect others."
He looked at the gun of for a while, digesting Angels words. For a moment he looked as if he was going to ask her something, but then decided against it. Angel was relieved— she had very few answers to offer for the questions he might ask. Finally he reached over and accepted the 'gift', quickly tucking it away into his oversized coat. They received only mild questioning glance from the barkeep.
"Thanks," Dastun said. Angel slid off the stool and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Goodbye, Dan. It's time for you to find your own role. I wish you the best of luck." She turned and headed for the door, stopping when he called out to her.
"Wait, Angel. What's it all mean?"
Glancing over her shoulder at the former colonel, she offered him another smile. "That's for you to decide."
Seebach was waiting for her.
Quickly heading up the stairs from the Amadeus, Angel did a double-take at the man standing by her car. She didn't recognize him right away. It had been a while since she'd last seen him the way he used to be. The moment he started talking however, she knew exactly who it was.
"Ah, to be graced with the presence of an angel, sent from the heavens to guide us mortals towards the truth and the light. Or is it really that she is a fallen angel, and we are but lost souls meandering around the infinite depths of hell, where there is no light nor truth to be spoken of? If the truth is but a fali—"
"Goodbye, Schwarzwald." Angel brushed past him and headed for her car. She had no time for this.
"Oh ho! The phantasm known as Schwarzwald is but a mere figment of imagination, which is, in reality… wait." He cut her off and gestured towards the passenger side. Somewhat hesitantly, she allowed him to lead her and open the door for her. "I have much to discuss with you. If you insist on leaving with such haste, it gives me but no choice than to chauffeur you to your intended destination."
She gave him a blank look. "I have to go to the Paradigm Headquarters."
"Then so be it. Who am I to meddle in the affairs of gods, no, those of a goddess, who decides the very fate of this play in which we are supposedly puppets and actors performing a scripted drama?" He walked around to the other side of the car and climbed into the drivers side. If driving around in a bright pink convertible bothered Michael Seebach any, it didn't show. Within moments he was chattering away.
Angel leaned her head against the window and let him ramble for a while.
"…and that it was, Big Duo, guiding me to the one place which had previously been neglected in my ever unrelenting search to find the reality of our existence." He paused, as if uncertain on how to continue. This surprised Angel, it seemed that Seebach never ran out of words. She enjoyed the momentary quiet. "I would like to inquire if I have actually uncovered the truth."
How could she give that a satisfying answer?
"The truth is what you make it."
"Ah, so cryptic. Gordon Rosewater would be proud. Then perhaps you would be willing to inform me on why we have lost our memories before, only to regain them now? How few of them we have actually found, and yet they are lacking any substance or reason."
She stared out the window. "Sometimes, Seebach, people are so frightened of what they know… that they choose to forget it. Only once they've forgotten, they are more frightened by what the might have known than what they actually knew in the first place."
He chuckled, a low, grating cackle that scratched at her nerves. "Then it is as it has always been, inside of the captive prisons of our own limited finite and uncomprehending minds, the minds of the weak and unmotivated masses which exist in this very city. What is your role, angel from the heavens who manipulates our reality?"
"I'm Angel," she said simply.
"Then you deny changing things? Have you merely set back the clock?"
They were at the Headquarters. She thought he would park at the garage, but instead he headed for the underpass to let her out. Angel pursed her lips and waited for him to stop besides the curb.
She didn't answer him before she left the car.
The receptionist wasted no time ushering her into the master suite atop Paradigm Corps. Headquarters. Apparently they'd been expecting her.
"I was hoping you'd learned some humility, Mr. Rosewater."
Alex studied her for a long time before replying. "Maybe. You know, Fau…"
"I know what Fau did. It was about time someone gave you a taste of your own medicine."
With a slightly pained look on his face, Alex folded his hands in his lap and nodded. "I deserved that," he agreed. "What I don't understand is why you've given this all back to me."
Angel smiled at her brother. "How can I give something back if it was never taken away?"
"… there are many who feel that I am unfit to govern."
"So? You abandoned your responsibilities for a while. It was a learning experience. Before one can rule over a city or a nation, one must be able to rule themselves. Now that you understand your own weaknesses, you're more capable of helping the people during these troubled times. Who else, Alex, could I leave Paradigm in their hands?"
There was another long pause, the silence drifting slowly like sand in an hourglass.
"Then why did you change things for Vera Rhondstat?"
It was possibly the most difficult question she'd faced since the event. Angel chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, searching for the right answer.
"Vera… chose to end her own life. She isn't… she needs more time. I wish there was more I could do for her, but I know she'll be able to sort it all out for herself. And the Union needed guidance. The people outside of the domes can't be forsaken any longer. I won't allow it." For a moment her eyes focused on the shadow looming behind Alex, and she hoped he understood.
"Of course not."
"Alex, I want you to promise me something." He nodded, urging her to continue. "Vera wasn't really my 'mother', but… well… promise me she'll be cared for."
He promised.
"My, my. It looks like a naughty kitty's been into the cream."
The secretary hadn't stayed to escort her out, but after Angel left the office, she wasn't alone in the hallway for very long. Alan Gabriel sauntered towards her in a way that only he could pull off.
"Alan," she acknowledged. He was still wearing that stupid mask, which made it difficult for her to talk to him as a 'person'.
"How nice of you to pay a visit to the losing team. I'm surprised you didn't do a victory dance in Rosewater's office."
Angel growled, biting back a rude response. How was it that he always managed to get things completely opposite? "You're wrong. There was no 'game', there are no losers… you… are just wrong, Alan. Get it?"
"Not a game— what is it, then?" he asked, taking a step towards her. "Were you trying to teach us all a lesson? Helping your little negotiator friend unravel the truth?"
She shook her head. "Alan, why are you with Rosewater?"
"As if it matters, pretty kitty. Why I am even alive?"
"…I thought you'd go back to the Union," she continued, choosing not to answer his question.
He smirked. "The Union, now under Sybil Rowan's control. You sure fixed them."
Angel felt a muscle under her eye start twitching. "I only did what needed to be done."
"Oh, of course," said Alan, in sarcastic mock sympathy. He casually waived the mechanical hand. "That explains why you didn't fix this."
"It's not your body that needs fixing, it's your head. I can't do that for you." Then she thought of something. "Come on," she urged, turning towards the elevators.
"Where are you going?"
"I want you to meet someone."
To say that Seebach was unhappy about meeting Gabriel face-to-face was an understatement. Alan didn't fare much better.
"Surely you must be mocking me," Seebach growled, glaring at Angel and pointedly refusing to look at Alan. "This is a cruel and depraved joke, oh Mistress of fate."
"I think you two have a lot to talk about," she offered helpfully. Neither of them would hear it.
"You're sadly mistaken if you think this raving maniac has anything useful for me."
"I would sooner disown my duty to the discovery of knowledge and truth than to share ideals with this folly of mankind and machine. You cannot be serious in this matter."
Angel chewed on her lip again, remembering why she'd tried to avoid Seebach in the first place. She didn't have time for this nonsense.
…but she couldn't bring herself to just abandon the two without giving them a firm shove in the right direction.
"Look, neither of you where able to pilot the Big Duo. Alex Rosewater needed Roger to learn how to be humble and appreciate this city of his. Roger Smith needed Alex to bring out the caring in protective nature within him."
They both stared at her.
"So?"
"If either of you want to be Duo's dominus, you have to figure out what the other brings out in you. If there's a sane mind between the two of you, it won't be too hard."
"Oh please," Alan spat. "That has to be the biggest cop-out I've ever heard. Why don't you give us something useful?"
Angel smirked at him, and gave Seebach a friendly pat on the shoulder before heading for her car. "Sorry, that's all your getting."
She knew they'd sort things out eventually.
She was going to say goodbye to Roger last.
In a way, it would be the hardest. There was so much left that would go unsaid. She knew so many things that he did not understand, and he understood so many things that she did not know. She wanted to share it with him, to learn what he had in his mind and heart, and get the chance to grow close with the man she loved.
It was too late for that. Angel wanted nothing more than for Roger to find happiness, and she knew he'd never find it with her. So it was, the unexpected twist in an unscripted life.
She had no choice but to say her farewell and move on.