The Brat, an everybody loves raymond fanfic

A/N: I wrote this one-shot after my latest viewing of the episode entitled "The Annoying Kid". I got to thinking what if there was a kid even worse than Spencer and they were to pester and torment Debra instead of Ray? So, enjoy; this is just meant to be a fun one-shot that shows the babysitting job from hell.

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"The Brat"

Debra Barone was enjoying her afternoon. The kids were still in school and Ray was still working. As an added bonus, Frank and Marie were out of town, which meant that there was no pestering mother-in-law to constantly criticize the state of the house or a slob of a father-in-law to sit in front of the T.V. with his pants open. In fact, Debra had decided to take advantage of her Barone-free time by inviting over the new family that had just moved into the neighborhood recently.

Debra had met the parents of said family at a PTA meeting at the kids' school. Their names were John and Catherine Williams. They were an extremely friendly couple whom Debra had taken an immediate liking to. Through a couple of other days where they had interesting conversations, the Barones and the Williams had become very fond of each other and very close friends. Each couple's kids got along just fine and even Ray had told Debra that he and John shared much of the same interests. John and Catherine's son, Justin, was a rather spirited boy of 11; despite his younger age, though, he got along extremely well with Ally and the twins.

At the moment, Debra and the Williams were all sitting inside Debra's living room, chatting. Debra had been able to whip up some decent enough coffee and lay out some of Marie's fingerfoods that she brought over every day when she made one of her routine inspections. Today, the food in question was biscotti, and it was being consumed continuously. Debra sat in the cushioned recliner that was situated on the left side of the couch, while John and Catherine were both sitting on the couch itself; Justin was in the wooden rocking chair, reading a comic book and not paying that much attention to the grown-ups' conversation.

"These biscotti are delicious, Debra," complimented Catherine. "Did you make these?"

"No," answered Debra, "my mother-in-law did. She personally brought them over…from right across the street."

"Right across the street? Your in-laws live that close?"

Debra nodded. "Yep. And they visit every single day."

Catherine gave Debra a knowing look. "Then we take pity on you."

"Thanks. God knows I need it with Frank and Marie Barone as in-laws." They all laughed.

"It's a shame Ray couldn't be here," said John.

"Yeah, but he had work today. For newspaper columnists, there's never really any time to relax. But I know Ray will be sorry he missed you guys." Debra paused, and an idea suddenly sprang up inside her head. "Hey, why don't you come over again Saturday? "

Catherine's eyes momentarily lit up, but she sagged just as quickly. "Oh, we can't. We're busy Saturday."

"Yeah, we have a conference to go to. You know how me and Catherine are both in the same field of work?"

"Yeah. "

John turned to his wife. "Honey, I just remembered…we still haven't gotten a babysitter for Justin yet. And I'm not sure we can get one this late."

"You're right. Where could we possibly find a babysitter now? It's already Thursday."

Debra leaned forward, setting her cup of coffee down on the table in front of the furniture. "You know, if it's alright, we could keep Justin while you two go to that conference."

"Are you sure Debra?" Catherine queried. "I've gotta warn you, most of Justin's previous babysitters have admitted that he's quite a handful."

"Hey, I have three kids and I'm a stay-at-home mom. One more won't be that big a deal. Besides, me and Ray will have lots of fun with Justin. Although, I think our kids will be somewhere else that day, so they won't get to see him."

"But Justin can bring over some of his own stuff, can't you, bud?" John said to his son, who merely nodded.

So, with that matter settled, Debra and the Williams continued on with their conversation while Justin buried himself back in his comic book. There was one point during the hour that followed where Debra thought she saw Justin cast a surreptitious look of evil pleasure in her direction for the slightest minute, but Debra waved it off as a trick of the light.

Later that night, after the kids had gone to bed and Ray and Debra were getting ready for bed, Debra decided to bring up the topic of the babysitting job.

"Hey, Ray," she said as Ray entered their bedroom in his pajamas and climbed into bed next to her, "I forgot to tell you this earlier but, uh, you know the Williams?"

"Yeah."

"Well, they are gonna be out of town for some type of conference on Saturday and they needed a babysitter for Justin, so I told them that we would do it."

Ray looked at her. "Saturday?"

"Yeah, why? Is that a problem?"

"Well, my boss just sprang a last-minute assignment on me. I have to go cover a big baseball game out of town this weekend."

"The whole weekend?"

"Yep. Are you still gonna do the babysitting job, then?"

"I've pretty much raised three kids singlehandedly for the past few years, so watching over one will be no problem." Debra gave Ray one of her stares.

"Uh-huh. There you go again, talking about how I'm lazy and never help out around the house."

"That's because you don't."

"Hey, don't get too mad at me because I'm leaving tomorrow morning and you know what that means."

"What?"

"You know what we do before I go on a road trip." Ray paused suggestively. "I've gotta get the proper send-off." He grinned.

Debra rolled her eyes slightly but still managed to return the smile as she moved closer to Ray. "I don't think what I'm about to do could be considered 'proper'." She kissed Ray passionately.

"No problem," Ray said in between kisses, "that's how I like you…naughty."

Saturday

The doorbell rang and Debra answered it straight away. There stood John and Catherine, with Justin in front of them; a backpack was flung over his shoulder.

Debra smiled. "Hey, guys. Come on in."

The Williams all stepped over the door's threshold and entered the house. Justin immediately went over to the couch, where he slid the backpack off. Debra and his parents conversed by the door.

"Here is our cell number in case there's any reason to call. We should be back sometime tomorrow afternoon." Catherine handed Debra a small knapsack. "These are Justin's pajamas and other household items. Make sure he's in bed by 10 and no sweets of any kind after 9 because he tends to get hyper."

Debra took the knapsack and piece of paper containing the cell phone number, examining the contents of both. "Ally and the twins are spending the weekend at a friend's house, my brother-in-law and his wife are visiting relatives out of town, and Frank and Marie are in Atlantic City until Thursday…so I guess it's just me and Justin. I'm positive we'll have fun together."

John and Catherine walked over to stand in front of their son as Debra placed the knapsack and cell phone number on the small table underneath the living room window; Justin secretly made note of this.

"We'll be back tomorrow, sweetie, so behave for Debra and do what she tells you, alright?" Catherine gave Justin a motherly hug. After that, John did the same.

The parents exchanged a few more final words of thanks with Debra before departing from the house.

An hour later, Debra was upstairs folding laundry in Ray's and hers bedroom, while Justin was downstairs watching television…or so she thought.

Justin was currently sneaking upstairs, creeping up on his babysitter. Justin had been planning for this day ever since Debra had agreed to watch over him for the weekend. Justin always liked to give his babysitters a rough time, and since he had one for two days, he had told himself that this was an opportunity not to be missed. Justin loved to cause as much trouble as he could whenever he could; it was his nature. In the past, he had tormented his babysitters relentlessly, deeply enjoying their pain as he pulled numerous pranks on them. He had secretly packed the necessary items needed for causing the ultimate mischief in his backpack before his parents had brought him over here. And now was the time to put said items to good use.

But first, Justin decided that he would start out simple: a good, old-fashioned wedgie. Justin finally reached the doorway to the bedroom and peeked around the corner. Debra had her back to him, folding laundry and placing the clothes on the bed in front of her. Every time she needed a new shirt or pair of pants, Debra would bend over the laundry basket on the floor in order to get it. Justin knew that it had to be one of those brief moments of exposure when he would strike.

Justin inched into the room, making sure to stay out of Debra's line of vision. Within a few seconds, he was close enough. Making sure to stay rooted to the spot where Debra wouldn't be able to catch sight of him. Just then, Debra finished folding the shirt that she had been working on and bent over to scoop up the next piece of clothing from the laundry basket. When Debra bent over, the tail of her shirt rode up slightly, allowing Justin a clear view of the smallest hint of her underwear beneath her jeans. Justin acted without hesitation. He quickly grabbed that trace of underwear and yanked upward as hard as he could, causing Debra to yelp in surprise.

Debra whipped around, the back of her underwear still visible and glared daggers at Justin. "You little brat!" she yelled. Justin laughed as Debra fixed herself and gave chase, chasing him into the bathroom. Thinking fast on his feet, Justin dashed over to the shower, yanked back the curtain. Pulled down the shower head, and turned it on full blast. The instant Debra stepped foot into the bathroom, she was met with an onslaught of cold water. The water soaked Debra to the skin, and Justin only stopped when he was completely satisfied.

Justin then ran past Debra and downstairs, Debra once again hot on his heels. The chase persisted around the house and eventually made its way outside, where Justin's next trap was set. Debra chased Justin outside the perimeter of her house, the mischievous little kid ran around to the back of the house, where he dived behind a pair of bushes and stuck out his leg. Just a short distance away was a rather large and fresh pile of mud large enough for a person to fit in. Justin had spotted this mud puddle earlier and he had factored it into his plans to bring Debra Barone down, and in a few seconds, it would serve its purpose.

Debra rounded the corner of the house shortly thereafter and tripped fully over Justin's outstretched leg. Debra went flying…flying, that is, straight into the mud puddle, the brown substance covering her completely. Moaning, Debra rolled over in the puddle, revealing her front side, which was bathed in fresh mud. Debra rubbed her eyes, creating spots for her to see clearly out of. She then spit mud out of her mouth and took in her new appearance. She slowly raised herself up, visibly seething under the coat of mud. Debra then saw Justin crouching down by the bushes and narrowed her eyes.

"You!" Debra breathed in a dangerous tone. "I'm going to take a shower, and when I get out, you and I are gonna talk."

Debra stormed away and through the back door of the house, leaving Justin to revel in his triumph. But Justin knew that he did not have much time to celebrate his first victory; if he wanted to stay one step ahead of his babysitter, then he had to start prepping for the next prank wave right now.

Half an hour to forty-five minutes later, Debra was finishing washing the mud off of her body in the shower. She had placed her muddy clothes in the sink downstairs and was letting the mud soak away from them. The bathroom door was currently closed and a fresh, clean pair of clothes lay waiting for Debra on the closed lid of the toilet. If Debra had not been fuming from Justin's first few pranks, she would have thought to lock the bathroom door to make sure that the little devil would not try anything else while his babysitter was occupied, but in her fit of rage Debra forgot to do that…and she would soon regret it.

While Debra was still scrubbing away in the shower, Justin conspiratorially pushed open the bathroom door and quickly made sure that the coast was clear. He stealthily snuck over to where Debra's awaiting clothes lay and snatched them up. Justin then replaced Debra's shirt and pants with a costume that he had brought along with him: an outfit similar to that of Jane from the "Tarzan" stories. Making sure that Debra was still in the shower, Justin took the regular clothes and exited the bathroom, locking the door from the outside. Justin dashed downstairs to lock every other door and window of the house.

Five minutes later, the water spraying from the shower head turned off and Debra, a towel draped around her, stepped out to receive another shock, courtesy of Justin. Debra stared down at the costume that had replaced her pre-selected clothes and she immediately knew who was behind it. Debra went over to the door and turned the handle, only to find that it was locked from the outside. She tried many more times, but the door would not budge.

"Justin!" Debra said under her breath vehemently. "I'm gonna kill him!"

For a while after that, Debra did nothing except stare at the costume, which was a few sizes too small. She had tried many things in order to open the door, but did not have any success in doing so. Finally, Debra sighed and decided to wear the costume because she was becoming cold in just a wrapped up towel. However, once Debra had changed into the costume, she did not really notice a difference in the draftiness. Debra looked herself over, the costume already feeling too tight; more of her skin was exposed than she would have liked, but she did not see any other alternative. Outside the bathroom window, the afternoon sky was beginning to turn dark and Debra knew that she had to find another way to get back into the main part of her house. After minutes of pondering, Debra had got an idea and she tied every towel she could find in the bathroom together…which she would use to climb down from the window.

Once the towel rope was completed, Debra opened the bathroom window, threw the rope over the edge, carefully climbed out and began to slowly climb down to the ground.

It took all of one minute to climb down the self-made towel rope. When Debra's feet touched the ground, she instantly kept close to the house so as to avoid any prying gazes from neighbors who may be at their windows. First, Debra crept around to the front door and tried it; locked. Then, she tested the window of the living room beside it…locked too. Becoming more and more desperate yet angry at the same time, Debra ran around to the back of the house and came up to the back door, which led into the kitchen and again discovered a firmly locked door. But through the windowpanes on the door, Debra saw the taunting face of Justin.

"When I get my hands on you, you little brat, I'll—"

"You'll…what?"

Suddenly, Justin closed the curtains on the backdoor while laughing. Outside, Debra let out an angry noise and spotted that the kitchen window was raised up…raised up just enough to allow a person to slip inside. Shrugging, Debra went over to the open window and hoisted herself through it. But when she was halfway through, Debra noticed something: Justin standing in front of her with an open spray can of whip cream in his hand. Before Debra could say a single word, Justin opened fire. The whipped cream covered Debra's face and got into her hair and Justin did not cease until he had used up the can's entire contents. When he was finished, Justin darted away and upstairs while Debra pulled herself completely through the window.

Debra gave chase immediately, dashing up the stairs and heading toward the room which had been given to Justin for the weekend. But she found the door to said room closed and locked; Debra struggled with it shortly, fixed on giving Justin what he deserved, but to no avail. Sighing, Debra began to make her way back toward Ray's and hers bedroom, but she heard Justin's door open when she was just a few steps away. She rounded on her feet, only to be temporarily blinded by a quick flash of light. Justin had opened the door to take a picture of Debra in her rather embarrassing outfit. Debra tried to get the camera, but had the door shut in her face.

Fuming again, Debra stomped into her bedroom, ditched the costume, and changed into her normal type of attire. Debra did not see Justin for the rest of the night, so she assumed that he had something to eat with him.

When she became too tired, Debra turned off the lights in the house and went upstairs to go to sleep. She paused at Justin's door and listened for any indication of movement on the other side; she heard none. Shrugging indifferently, Debra entered her bedroom again and made sure to lock the door this time. She then changed into her pajamas and turned off her bedside lamp before falling asleep, still enraged over the day's events.

A short time later, when Debra had definitely drifted into dreamland, the door of her closet silently opened, revealing Justin, who had an inflated kiddy pool and a bulging backpack with him. Making sure to keep quiet, Justin pushed the inflated pool over to the right side of the bed and extracted the contents of his backpack. When Justin had completed what he wanted to do with the pool, he carefully slid back the bed's covers and took out what remained inside his backpack. He could not wait until morning.

Debra woke up slowly, faint rays of sunshine filtering in through the closed curtains of the bedroom. She rubbed her eyes, yawning as she stretched her arms over her head. It was only when Debra moved her legs under the covers did she notice the strange feeling that encased most of her body. Debra first noticed that what she felt was sticky first of all, and it was soaking through her pajamas. Debra quickly threw back the covers, and her suspicions were confirmed.

Spread across both the bedsheets and the underside of the covers was what was clearly a mixture of maple syrup and honey; it was covering the entire front side of Debra's pajamas and she felt it starting to seep through the underside as well. Debra glanced over her shoulder and discovered that another layer of the extremely gooey and sticky substance was spread on top of the very pillow that Debra's head had been sleeping on. Debra's hands immediately snapped up to touch her hair, and sure enough, her dark red hair was sticky. She let out an enraged yell.

"JUSTIN!"

Debra heard a deeply amused and triumphant laugh filter in through her closed bedroom door and she moved to do nothing about it. However, she could not fully haul herself off of the sticky bedsheets, so Debra was forced to roll her way off the bed. Debra rolled to her right, but when she reached the edge, she went tumbling down, but did not hit the floor itself. Debra landed inside an awaiting kiddy pool that was filled with chocolate pudding, and lots of it. Not dillydallying for long, Debra leapt out of the kiddy pool and unlocked the door; she was now covered in both chocolate pudding and a combination of maple syrup and honey.

Debra pulled the door open to come face-to-face with Justin, the prankster himself, who was grinning in devilish triumph.

"You think this is funny?" Debra asked hysterically. "Just wait until I tell your parents about this!"

"Oh, you won't tell my parents anything," Justin said calmly.

"Why not?"

"Because if you do, I have a picture of you in a very embarrassing costume. If you tell my parents about this weekend, I know how to post that picture on the Internet."

"You wouldn't!"

"I would."

Debra eyed the sneaky little prankster curiously, searching for some hint of falseness in his claim. Seeing none, she was compelled to back down. Debra sighed. "If you even try to pull anything else –"

"You won't do anything…because I have major dirt on you."

Debra and Justin held their gaze as Debra backed into the bathroom to clean up. Once the door was closed, Justin smirked in satisfaction to himself and he began to head downstairs so that he could try to find something to fix for himself for breakfast. In his mind, Justin had earned a well-deserved break.

The next two hours went by without any problems for Debra where pranks were concerned; she just went about putting her sticky bedsheets into the washer, as well as her pajamas. All the while, she kept herself aware of Justin's activities, making sure that he would never start to take part in anything suspicious. Debra also wondered whether the mischievous 11-year old really did know how to post that picture of her on the Internet. But one thing was for certain: if he did, then Debra certainly did not want to make the mistake of informing Justin's parents of the weekend's antics.

Lunch arrived soon, and Debra made lunch for both her and Justin. By that time, Debra had relaxed considerably where Justin was concerned; he had not attempted anything for quite a while, so maybe he had grown tired of the constant pestering and torment…at least, that was what Debra hoped.

Unbeknownst to her, Justin conspiratorially snuck into the kitchen while Debra was busying herself with fixing lunch, too occupied to notice Justin and his actions. In his hand, Justin clutched a container of super glue. He pulled out a random wooden chair from the table, and making sure that Debra would not see him, carefully spread the clear and extremely sticky substance across the seat of said chair, covering every square inch on it. He did the same thing to another of the three chairs and quickly dashed away to hide the glue can after the chairs had been replaced. Justin returned just in time, because the moment he took the glue-free seat, Debra turned around to place the plates of food on the table. Once she did, Debra sat down in the seat to Justin's left, one of the specially prepared chairs. Debra did not seem to notice the glue at first, because she went about eating her lunch without any hindrances.

It was only when Debra had completed her meal and Justin had as well did she notice that her butt was glued to the chair, and glued well. Debra struggled and struggled, determined to try to free herself, but to no avail. The sound of Justin's cackling laughter punctuated the stunned silence surrounding Debra. As Debra continued pulling, Justin darted over to the cabinets and then the refrigerator, gathering up as many assorted gooey and messy foods as he could…ice cream, tomato sauce and whipped cream included. And while Debra was still trying to pull herself free from the glue-soaked chair, Justin opened everything he had gotten out and eyed Debra with a maniacal glint. Debra's eyes widened as she realized what Justin was about to do.

"Don't you even –"

Her words were cut short by Justin throwing every single messy substance on Debra, who was unable to do anything due to her butt being glued to the chair. Within seconds, Debra was completely covered in combined gooey foods. Next, Justin ran out of the kitchen and out the back door, but not before laying one more prankish trap for good measure.

After a few more minutes of struggling, Debra finally freed herself from the chair. However, the result was her ripping the seat of her pants, leaving an open gap that showed her underwear. And when Debra stepped foot on the floor, she was unable to keep her balance and fell face first; she slid across the kitchen floor…obviously because of something on it. Debra inspected the problem and noticed a black goo, which added to her slimy appearance. She grunted in anger and got to her feet, following in Justin's wake with her temper slowly rising. The various substances covering Debra felt abnormal, especially with her running around. But soon, Debra found herself lying face-down in a mud puddle for the second time in the same weekend.

The all too familiar sound of Justin's laughter partly motivated Debra to haul herself to her feet, mainly because she so desperately swished to stop it. She saw Justin standing in front of the backyard swingset with an air of triumph. Not wasting any time, Debra stormed over toward Justin, intent on wiping that smug smirk off of his face.

However, Justin was anticipating this. Behind his back, Justin held a pair of prank handcuffs he had brought along with him from home for this very reason. Just as Debra came close enough, Justin quickly stepped out of the way, bringing the open handcuffs up to wrap around Debra's wrists the instant after they were at the proper vantage point around the bars of the swingset. Justin inserted the key into the lock and turned it, causing the cuffs to close firmly; the action permanently wrapped Debra's arms around the swingset bars.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Debra hollered

Debra, still completely covered in muck and grime of all kinds, struggled with her cuffed wrists while Justin dashed over to the sandbox and scooped up a rather lengthy jump rope and ran back over to Debra, this time tying Debra's legs to the pole. Debra, now tied up completely, pulled and pulled with all her might, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, Justin watched in amusement as he casually bent over and picked up a nasty-looking bug. Grinning evily, Justin ran over to stand in front of Debra and without hesitation, he dropped the insect down the front of his babysitter's shirt. Debra immediately started jumping and twisting as an after-effect of the mean action.

Justin then checked his watch. "My parents will be here any minute, so I guess I'd better get my stuff together. See you later."

"Don't you dare leave me like this!" snapped Debra while she continued to wriggle around.

"Oh, I think your Mr. Barone should be home later, too. Until then, you can enjoy the weather. Nothing personal by the way…I do this type of thing to all my babysitters." Justin turned to walk back inside the house, but halted and turned back around. "In fact, I think I'll tell my parents that since we had so much fun this weekend, you should be my permanent new babysitter."

Justin smiled in his usual mischievous manner before tossing the keys to the toy handcuffs into nearby bushes within the boundaries of the backyard. Whistling a merry tune, Justin calmly walked back into the house.

Debra was left tied up outside, forced to wait in mounting impatience for either Ray or Frank and Marie to show up to free her from this trap…Debra was even willing to endure Marie's lectures about how to properly babysit a kid properly if it meant escaping from her current situation.

But in the end, this all meant one thing: that Debra had a new problem on her hands…a tiny little problem by the name of Justin, and after today, Justin would most assuredly never be off of Debra Barone's back.