He watched him as he walked away, not even once glancing back. They lost tonight, but that was alright. You can't win every battle you fight, he knew this.
Dean got pinned but he didn't fail them. He may have felt that way but his Lunatic didn't see it that way. He was about to go over to him, but then Dean just got out of the ring and left. Not a word, not a glance back.
He watched him leaving. He felt so confused, so heartbroken. After their match at Super Showdown, everything seemed good between them. Sure the past few weeks have not been easy for them, especially Dean, but they've pulled through it all and have still remained strong.
How wrong he was...
Now here, sitting alone by himself he was thinking about everything. All of the times he had spent with Dean, all of the moments they shared together, each memory making his heart hurt more.
Seth had left a little while ago, understanding that he needed some time to himself. He knew that he was also feeling just the same as he did and possibly doing the same. But what Roman felt for Dean was different.
Over the years, his feelings for his teammate had turned into more than just seeing him as his best friend. He had fallen in love with him. And oh, he had fallen hard for him. He would do anything and give everything to him. Would go to the ends of the earth for him. Sacrifice his own life just for him.
The feelings never surfaced though. He kept them secret. For fear of scaring Dean away. He could love Dean like that from afar and that would be it. He would be fine with them just being friends. Until he heard about what almost happened...
He gotten a phone call from the hospital. He was the only person in Dean's emergency contact list, so he wasn't surprised when they contacted him. What surprised him though was hearing that his friend was in surgery, due to an infection in his tricep. He was told that it was urgent that he get the surgery done or else he could die.
Hearing this caused Roman to panic, worry for him. He took the next flight to Birmingham as quickly as he could, needing to be close to Dean. When he made it, they gave him the room number that Dean was in and he went straight there, carrying a big teddy bear for him to cheer him up.
Despite seeing him lying in the hospital bed, not looking so great and hooked up on antibiotics, he was smiling. Playing with the bear, making cute and funny sounds, giving it to Dean as soon as he made him laugh. He was overcome with relief and joy at seeing that his love was going to be okay. Sure he would be out for longer, recovering and rehabbing, but he knew that it would be worth it in the end. He was just so happy that he hadn't lost him.
And thats what made him realize that he needed to tell him. He almost lost Dean and he would have regretted not telling him how he felt. He knew what he had to do and sure, he was probably going a bit overboard with what he was planning to do, but in his heart he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Dean. He went out and got an engagement ring made for him. He was going to ask him to marry him. It was a huge risk he was taking, but his heart was telling him that this was the right thing to do. He wanted them both to be bound to each other eternally.
But now here he sits, playing around with the ring he kept in his pocket all the time, just waiting for the right moment to ask the question. His mind wondering where had it all gone wrong, what he had done wrong. Was it too late to fix things? Should he have told Dean sooner about his feelings towards him?
He wanted to do everything that he could to make it right again. To have his friend back. All the Lunatic had did was shut him out ever since he came back. He wondered what could possibly have happened to be making Dean feeling this way. To question whether or not his teammates really did care for him. To make him so untrusting and aggressive towards them. To make him feel as though that that he didn't belong with them.
To make him just an empty shell of his former self...
Roman's greatest fear was losing Dean. In so many ways. He didn't know what goes going to happen now and didn't know when Dean would finally snap. Perhaps he already did and perhaps, Roman may have lost him already.
'I'm giving you everything but its not enough. I can't hold you back from it is you want. What that is, I don't know.'
He had gave all of himself to Dean and now, all that he was and all that he had was gone. He couldn't help but to wonder was it all truly worth it? Giving up all of himself for love?
The answer, he didn't know anymore...