The Misadventures of Bucky Barnes: Everyone Blames Steve

Disclaimers: I do not own Marvel, Disney, or any characters associated with the before mentioned companies. This is a work of pure entertainment and no copyright infringement is intended. This is a work of entertainment and no monetary gain is being procured from this work. Please do not sue and again no copyright infringement is intended this is just for fun.

Summary: This is post "Civil War" but probably not compliant considering the movie isn't even in the theater yet. Steve is helping Bucky become re-acclimated to "normal" life. Steve helps Bucky come out of his shell by offering a double date. The only problem is that Bucky is still wary of dating. Steve once again -being the great friend he is- tries to set Bucky up with someone. Bucky is taken on a series of double dates that makes him reconsider his choice to not kill Steve. This is a look at Bucky's life as he tries to adjust to the world of dating, crazy technology, dating, and delicious food.

Chapter one: Tony's Idea: The One Steve Likes

Bucky is cleaning his guns in the common room when Steve and Tony walk in arguing as usual. Bucky isn't listening but he's almost certain that they are fighting over American football, again. He sighs and checks the sight on the gun he's cleaning because it relaxes him. He knows that finding peace in cleaning weapons is not normal but after seventy years of conditioning, it is difficult to change. Weapons bring him peace. He's about to put the gun in its case when Tony steps in front of him.

Tony has his arms crossed and he's scowling. The fight is definitely about American football. "Barnes, tell this deluded old man that the Denver Broncos are a billion times better than the New England Patriots! Manning could wipe the field with Brady's ass any day of the week hopping on one foot and blindfolded!"

Steve steps in and towers over Tony sneering. "Is that why Manning's retiring this year?"

Tony starts shouting again and Bucky sighs tiredly. This is the fourth argument over that weird sport they have had this week. Bucky is tired and looks up at them. "I don't like football. I like soccer. I don't care about any of this shit. I am cleaning my guns somewhere quieter. Away from this grade school bullshit."

Steve and Tony watch as Bucky walks out with his cases. Tony looks at Steve. "What's eating him?"

Steve shrugs. "He's been like that for a while. Sam says it's completely normal but that he does need to make some attempt at actual socialization. I'm trying to find ways to get him out more but so far nothing has worked. He usually just sits or stands where ever we are and smokes."

Tony looks at Steve and quirks a brow. "Has he tried jumping back into the dating scene again?"

Steve shakes his head. "No, I think he's self-conscious about his arm even with the holo-tech hiding it."

Tony nods and looks at Steve. "Well, judging by his mood him getting laid isn't a half bad idea."

Steve glares at Tony. "Stark, remember who you are talking to?"

Tony nods and looks at Steve with a smirk. "Yeah and the whole world can hear you and Sharon fonduing it at three in the morning every weekend."

Steve turns crimson and looks at Tony. "One, quit listening because we aren't that damn loud you sick pervert. Two, do not make a stupid comment about me watching my language. Three, do you think getting back on the dating scene could help Bucky?"

Tony nods and pats Steve's shoulder. "I have never been this sure since I discovered that pizza is delicious."

Steve rolls his eyes and looks at Tony. "Okay. I will see what Sharon and I can do and maybe Sam can help."

Tony smiles and claps. "Good, now time for pizza! Arguing and helping my friends makes me hungry!"

Steve rolls his eyes. Stark is either going to live to be a hundred and thirty eating horribly and drinking like a fish or he's going to die of a heart attack by sixty. It doesn't matter though because Steve knows that if Stark ever died he would be losing a good friend.

Later that evening Steve and Sharon are having a romantic dinner in a small hole in the wall Italian restaurant. Sharon invited Bucky but he opted out telling her that he wants a gigantic greasy burger the size of his head and enough onion rings that his breath would keep Stark away for weeks. She's worried about him but Sam says give him time and space. Sharon looks at Steve and sips a glass of wine. "So, Stark thinks that Bucky needs to start dating and Sam says it couldn't hurt. Well, you are in luck. I have a couple of friends who would be more than willing to offer their services."

Steve smiles and sips his wine. "Good. Let's start out with something small. Like maybe a lunch date. Work him slowly back into the groove and after that, we can let him fly."

Sharon nods and smiles. "Perfect. I think I should start out with Julie. She's nice."

Later that night Steve comes home after walking Sharon home to find Bucky with a whole apple pie and a dozen blueberry muffins. Steve looks at Bucky and smirks. "Hungry much?"

Bucky looks at the food and Steve and nods. "Yeah, you want some?"

Steve shakes his head and slowly approaches Bucky. "I'm good. Hey, Buck, Sharon, and I are having lunch tomorrow and she has a friend who would love to meet you."

Bucky looks at Steve like his best friend has lost his mind. "You want me to go on a blind date."

Steve nods and holds his hands up. "Sam and I think it would be a good idea for you to get your feet wet and sharpen your skills with the ladies."

Bucky sighs and looks at Steve's concerned pleading blue eyes. Damn it, the punk still looks like a damn puppy. "If I say yes can I be left alone and eat a greasy heart attacking inducing dinner again?"

Steve nods enthusiastically. "Absolutely! Tomorrow at twelve at Petrelli's Deli."

Bucky nods and grabs a muffin. "Okay. I will be there and presentable. Go shower, you smell like Chanel perfume."

Steve turns red and walks quickly to the bathroom. Bucky smirks and eats the muffin. He smiles as the berries pop in his mouth. He's going to get fat eating like this.