Author's Note: Hi everybody! This story is rather sad until the ending, it gets happy I promise! Lol, please enjoy. Everything that is in italic is kind of what is going on through her mind and what she is feeling and everything in normal writing is what is happening to her. Please review!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
It's a rather depressing story. I mean honestly his dead eyes, nonchalant voice, and consistent slouching position. All of this tells a story of its own. He says he loves her, he really does but what does that mean. I let him wallow in his own self pity but what can I say, I love him more than she ever will? I have an odd feeling he won't be too fond of that.
Tears vaguely filled my eyes as I looked at the sadness and hatred that adorned his. His husky voice was screaming at me in curses but it all sounded like gibberish to me, it was devil talk. His dead eyes were looking at me expectantly and I simply let a dear slip down my cheek. I felt hideous. I felt dirty. I could feel the loathing in his eyes and it made my skin crawl.
His eyes were dead. That is really the only way to describe the man. The held hatred, sadness, disappointment, heartbreak, and everything else in the world that makes people wish for their own death. And that is what I don't understand, how could he wish for other people's death and not his own?
Sometimes late at night when the darkness haunts me and I can only concentrate on the thumping noise that his feet are making above my head as he paced back and forth, I wish for his death. I can't think of anything else I would want for him. He thinks his wife is dead, his daughter is gone, he seems to think that loving me will dishonor the memory of his wife, and even his razors are starting to dull. Blood can't keep them lively forever. His death would be the best thing for him; it could be quick and easy like a knife through a man's throat, well it would be a knife through man's throat.
He forcefully grabbed me by my lower back and shoved me out of his shop. The door slammed in my face and I stared at it blankly. My eyes were too dry to drip now and I heard him scream through the door for me to leave him be. So I did. I left him and let my room become my resting place. My bed was soft beneath my stomach and I breathed deeply into the old pillow. It held the tears of so many times I had sued it as a scapegoat to my problems.
Tonight will be perfect. His own razor will peal the skin from his neck right before it slices mine as well. Tonight is the night.
I sat there on my bed for hours…maybe days. Trying to get the courage up to do what I had planned. I waited actually, for only the dimmest slimmer of moon to creep through the window and shine onto the floorboards of my room. And when there was finally only a sliver overhead I crept out into the hallway prepared to do something I had never actually considered.
His wooden floors were cold under my bare feat and I shivered at the damp room. I saw his razor box on the corner of his desk and stepped quickly over towards it. I pulled out two of the razors and flipped them open and they simply gave me goose pimples. A chill ran up my spine as I flipped them open in my hands as I snaked into Benjamin's back room, which happened to be his bedrooms.
I still couldn't understand what I was doing. Thoughts fled from my mind and I still didn't comprehend what my fingers were doing. For some reason something was holding onto my wrist, something warm. Something that wasn't the razor.
"Mrs. Lovett?" I looked into his much more alive eyes and he looked back at me questioningly. I shook my head as finally a tear dripped from my eye. And he rapped his arms around me in a tight hug. He kissed my hair and repeated nothings to me over and over.
He has no idea what he's saying to me. Why am I doing this? Why can't I stop! Why can't I stop?
His hands wove themselves into my hair and he continued to apologize and tell me how much he was mistaking about Lucy. I flipped the razor open and coughed over the slicing noise that it made in the air.
"Benjamin?" He looked me in the yes for one last time as I sliced the razor through the air and it made contact with his bare neck skin. His blood was warm against my dress and skin and I looked at him with remorse. He smiled at me for one last time and winked at me. I knew I hadn't imagined it because he whispered a few last words to me before the blood stopped pouring,
"Meet you by the sea…"
I kissed his forehead in understanding as a few tears leaked down my face. I knew exactly what he meant; he knew what my next step was going to be. I dropped the razor that had been plunged into his neck and through it at the wall so it stuck out like a dart. I grinned as blood leaked down the wooden wall.
My heart jumped when I put the razor to my neck, waiting…I couldn't bring up the courage. I stood up and closed eyes with the razor to my neck for a few seconds and yet the courage still didn't come. I was sobbing now. That is the only way I can explain the curses that were flowing from my mouth as water poured down my blotchy cheeks. I wiped my eyes and looked at Benjamin's body for the last time and it scared me so bad to see him hanging off the side of the bed that the first reaction I had was to press the knife into my throat.
Why doesn't this hurt? My mind was laughing at me. I could feel my blood in a puddle on the floor mixing with his on the hem of my skirts and I didn't care. Quite frankly I was excited to see what was going to happen to my body. The pain wasn't half as bad physically as it was to mentally figure out what I had just done.
I felt a warm hand on my back and I sat straight up from my sitting position on a….picnic blanket? I looked around me and I saw Benjamin, not Sweeney Todd, but my very own Benjamin Barker smiling kindly at me. He leaned over and kissed me on the top of my head.
"Thank you very much Nellie, finally we can be together…by the sea…." I chuckled when he said this and I kissed him chastely on the lips as I leaned back and looked up at the sun overhead. It wasn't covered by clouds or anything and it made me immensely tired.
"Benjamin how long have you been waiting for me?"
"Not long my love, maybe about a week. I spent the most of it sleeping though. I advise you get some rest eh? When it gets too dark I'll carry you back to our home."
"Ok Benjamin love…if you say so."
"I love you Nellie see you when you wake up."
"I love you too Benjamin…" I managed to yawn out before I felt asleep…by the sea…with my love…Benjamin Barker.
Author's Note: Please review I hope I made it happy enough at the ending for all of you hopeless romantics out there like me!