Title: My Bright Tomorrow
Author: Emmy
Rating: R
Contents: Slash - Harry/Snape
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing them...
Note: This story corresponds with both "Haunting Eyes" and "Bittersweet Memory". It is made up of the first few entries of Harry Potter's diary that was given to him by Sirius Black. There was an introduction with this, I may re-post it later with the introduction, but for now it'll have to wait. It is suggested that you read "Haunting Eyes" and "Bittersweet Memory" first, so that you'll have a better understanding of what Harry's talking about.
March 27, 1997:
I've never actually thought of keeping a diary, but ever since that last Friday I've been thinking about things - my life basically. This feels so awkward. I'm not sure how exactly I should write in a diary, but I suppose it never hurts to try. I guess I feel so uncomfortable with this because of my bad luck with diaries. I have really bad luck with diaries. Sirius has always said that a diary might come in handy. I guess he must've figured that this day would come. The day when Harry Potter, the boy who lived and the boy who defeated Voldemort would need to talk to inanimate objects. Well, it's true, as strange as that sounds. There are just some things that you can't tell anyone else, even your best friends. That's probably why he gave me this for a Christmas present along with all those other gifts he bought. I feel kind of bad about not writing in this until just now. I honestly can't say why I didn't want to write in it right after Voldemort's death. I guess it'd help
to explain a little, so here I go...
It's been a week since Voldemort's death. So many have died since I started coming to Hogwarts. First was Cedric, then others - Neville, Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, Madam Hooch. I blame myself. I sometimes wonder if they could have survived if things had happened differently. Would Voldemort have stopped if I'd allowed him to kill me? I doubt it, but I still can't help but wonder. All their death's hit me hard, especially Hagrid. I miss him so much. But this isn't the reason I wrote in this diary. The real reason is the last thing I would have expected: Severus Snape.
Snape is our Potions professor and the head of Slytherin house - the house noted for turning out so many dark wizards and witches. Snape has been a lot to me: a horrible teacher who always tries to get me in trouble, a protector, a mystery, a Death Eater, and now maybe something more. Snape really deserves all the credit for killing Voldemort. When it counted most I found that I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him. Even though he killed my parents and friends, stole my life, and practically made me go through hell. I was too weak. Why? If Snape hadn't been there to protect me, I'd be dead. Voldemort had tried to strangle me when he saw my weakness, he wanted this to be a battle to the death - either me or him. He would have succeeded too if Snape hadn't blasted him of off me. Snape didn't even hesitate, he just did it. He killed Voldemort with the Avara Kadavra curse. I couldn't have done that. Even though I wasn't the one to kill Voldemort, that's still not what's bothering
me.
It was what happened after Snape killed Voldemort. He had stood over me when he said the curse. I closed my eyes, I didn't want Snape to see me cry. I knew what he'd say...or at least I thought I did. I felt strong arms picking me up, holding me. I opened my eyes and realized that it was Snape. He looked so terribly sad. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I wanted to comfort him. I don't know what made me do it, but I reached up and caressed his cheek. He didn't even flinch from the touch. Somehow the gap between us closed and I found myself kissing him. The kiss tasted so sweet, I wanted more. When he pulled away I could hear myself whimper `Please' to him. He must have understood. We kissed again.
After that, everything went by so quickly. It was my first time. Both to be kissed and have sex. Our cloaks became bedding and we began to move together. The feel of his bare skin against mine was wonderful. We kissed while our hands felt. If only it could have lasted longer, if only I could know what it was he felt. Even now, a week later, he's given no indication of having any feelings for me at all. I wonder if he meant it or if it was just some urge he had to satisfy and I was the only one available. If that's the case, then I am a fool for thinking he might've cared. But I don't want to think of that, that thought scares me.
Luckily, we were both dressed when Dumbledore, Sirius and Lupin arrived. Sirius was worried about me and I was glad to see he was okay, but I just couldn't keep my mind off of Snape. I was in a sort of daze. I suppose Sirius must've just figured it was because of Voldemort. I'm glad he didn't try to ask me any questions. When Sirius had looked away Snape and I glanced at each other. I couldn't read the look on his face. Dumbledore must have noticed the way I kept looking at Snape because he invited me into his office to talk about it. I wish I wasn't so obvious. He asked me what had happened and I was thankful that he'd left my godfather out of this. I admit I don't know what I was thinking at the moment or how I knew I meant what I said, but I told Dumbledore that I loved Snape. I guess it must have been the sex. Is it possible that this happened without him feeling anything towards me? Dumbledore told me that I must talk to Snape alone, but I'm so unsure...
Author: Emmy
Rating: R
Contents: Slash - Harry/Snape
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing them...
Note: This story corresponds with both "Haunting Eyes" and "Bittersweet Memory". It is made up of the first few entries of Harry Potter's diary that was given to him by Sirius Black. There was an introduction with this, I may re-post it later with the introduction, but for now it'll have to wait. It is suggested that you read "Haunting Eyes" and "Bittersweet Memory" first, so that you'll have a better understanding of what Harry's talking about.
March 27, 1997:
I've never actually thought of keeping a diary, but ever since that last Friday I've been thinking about things - my life basically. This feels so awkward. I'm not sure how exactly I should write in a diary, but I suppose it never hurts to try. I guess I feel so uncomfortable with this because of my bad luck with diaries. I have really bad luck with diaries. Sirius has always said that a diary might come in handy. I guess he must've figured that this day would come. The day when Harry Potter, the boy who lived and the boy who defeated Voldemort would need to talk to inanimate objects. Well, it's true, as strange as that sounds. There are just some things that you can't tell anyone else, even your best friends. That's probably why he gave me this for a Christmas present along with all those other gifts he bought. I feel kind of bad about not writing in this until just now. I honestly can't say why I didn't want to write in it right after Voldemort's death. I guess it'd help
to explain a little, so here I go...
It's been a week since Voldemort's death. So many have died since I started coming to Hogwarts. First was Cedric, then others - Neville, Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, Madam Hooch. I blame myself. I sometimes wonder if they could have survived if things had happened differently. Would Voldemort have stopped if I'd allowed him to kill me? I doubt it, but I still can't help but wonder. All their death's hit me hard, especially Hagrid. I miss him so much. But this isn't the reason I wrote in this diary. The real reason is the last thing I would have expected: Severus Snape.
Snape is our Potions professor and the head of Slytherin house - the house noted for turning out so many dark wizards and witches. Snape has been a lot to me: a horrible teacher who always tries to get me in trouble, a protector, a mystery, a Death Eater, and now maybe something more. Snape really deserves all the credit for killing Voldemort. When it counted most I found that I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him. Even though he killed my parents and friends, stole my life, and practically made me go through hell. I was too weak. Why? If Snape hadn't been there to protect me, I'd be dead. Voldemort had tried to strangle me when he saw my weakness, he wanted this to be a battle to the death - either me or him. He would have succeeded too if Snape hadn't blasted him of off me. Snape didn't even hesitate, he just did it. He killed Voldemort with the Avara Kadavra curse. I couldn't have done that. Even though I wasn't the one to kill Voldemort, that's still not what's bothering
me.
It was what happened after Snape killed Voldemort. He had stood over me when he said the curse. I closed my eyes, I didn't want Snape to see me cry. I knew what he'd say...or at least I thought I did. I felt strong arms picking me up, holding me. I opened my eyes and realized that it was Snape. He looked so terribly sad. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I wanted to comfort him. I don't know what made me do it, but I reached up and caressed his cheek. He didn't even flinch from the touch. Somehow the gap between us closed and I found myself kissing him. The kiss tasted so sweet, I wanted more. When he pulled away I could hear myself whimper `Please' to him. He must have understood. We kissed again.
After that, everything went by so quickly. It was my first time. Both to be kissed and have sex. Our cloaks became bedding and we began to move together. The feel of his bare skin against mine was wonderful. We kissed while our hands felt. If only it could have lasted longer, if only I could know what it was he felt. Even now, a week later, he's given no indication of having any feelings for me at all. I wonder if he meant it or if it was just some urge he had to satisfy and I was the only one available. If that's the case, then I am a fool for thinking he might've cared. But I don't want to think of that, that thought scares me.
Luckily, we were both dressed when Dumbledore, Sirius and Lupin arrived. Sirius was worried about me and I was glad to see he was okay, but I just couldn't keep my mind off of Snape. I was in a sort of daze. I suppose Sirius must've just figured it was because of Voldemort. I'm glad he didn't try to ask me any questions. When Sirius had looked away Snape and I glanced at each other. I couldn't read the look on his face. Dumbledore must have noticed the way I kept looking at Snape because he invited me into his office to talk about it. I wish I wasn't so obvious. He asked me what had happened and I was thankful that he'd left my godfather out of this. I admit I don't know what I was thinking at the moment or how I knew I meant what I said, but I told Dumbledore that I loved Snape. I guess it must have been the sex. Is it possible that this happened without him feeling anything towards me? Dumbledore told me that I must talk to Snape alone, but I'm so unsure...