Last Thing On My Mind
The song I am borrowing for this songfic is not mine, it belongs to Ronan Keating. I am just borrowing it. Samuel and Lilia McQueen however are mine. Feel free to borrow them, just ask my permission first please.
This is a short song fiction based on the two characters I created for Family Ties. It is told from Samuel McQueen's point of view as he thinks about Lilia. This song has some meaning for me, but not quite in the same way as I have it for Samuel.
Four o'clock in the morning
My mind's filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I'm sure you tried to talk it through
"I let her go, I should have held on to her for as long as I could. It's too late now, I never showed her how much I really loved her."
Now I see it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives
"We held it together for so long. What went wrong?"
So, I want to tell you I'm sorry
Baby, I can't find the words
But, if I could
Than you know I would, yeah
Samuel McQueen gazed at the photographs lining the walls of his den. Many of them were of him with Lilia before they had married. A few showed their wedding day, the rest were pictures of the whole family. That was before Lightning had gone off to race in America, and before she had left him.
No, I won't let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
"Why did I let her go? I should have told her how much I still loved her." Samuel thought aloud as the memories began to creep into his mind.
You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me
They were sitting together while Lightning slept. He was thirteen, and just beginning to show some interest in his father's job. They had fought a lot over the years, but they still held it together.
Now, I look in the mirror look in the mirror
Staring back is a man I used to be with you
How I longed for you
"Was it me? Did I change? Where did we go wrong?"
No, I won't let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Oh I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
"If I could go back and tell her how much I loved her, I would do. I miss her so much, and Lightning. I know he's ok, I've seen him racing, but what about her? Does she miss me?"
Girl I'm sorry I was wrong
Couldn't be there, should have been so strong
So, I'm sorry
"I should have missed a few races, just so I could be with my family. Just so I could spend time getting to know my son, and showing my wife how much I loved her."
Oh
No, I won't let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind on my mind
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
On my mind on my mind
"It's not going to work out, Samuel. I'm sorry. I think it's best if we split up."
"It'll tear Lightning apart when he hears, you know?"
"I'm sorry, Samuel. We have to think about what's best for us too, sometimes."
Author's Note: This is the first time I have attempted a songfic. I hope you've enjoyed reading my attempt. For me this song tells me to carry on and not give up. When things start to get really bad for me, I think of this song, and I'm able to pick up the pieces.
For Samuel I've done it so he thinks about what he had, not what he's got. I'm sure we've all done that at some point, I know I have, regarding a long-dead grandparent that I have not had a chance to say a proper goodbye to...yet.