More than he Expected

by Xandra the Blue

Dudley falls for a girl who he knows he can never have. Turns out fates a lot more flexible than he thought. Dudley ends up discovering a lot about himself and other people. AU between OftP and HBP

1. Charmless Man

More than he expected.

Dudley falls for a girl who he knows he can never have. Turns out fates a lot more flexible than he thought. Dudley ends up discovering a lot about himself and other people. AU between OftP and HBP

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Chapter 1 – Charmless man

Dudley Dursley, in the summer of his AS's, sat under a tree in the school grounds with his gang of minions, watching the world go by.

"Hey, Big D, what do we do now?" asked Milton, a boy who was so desperate to be Ghetto that he put on a fake Brixton accent (regardless of the fact he lived in a rather nice part of London), "We've finished exams, and the ball's next week. We got nothing to do, 'cept go to lessons."

There was a general consensus of grunts. Like that was going to happen – they'd just finished exams; they weren't going to study for new ones.

Piers, a rat-faced boy with curly hair, casually scrunched up a homework sheet and threw it at Dudley. "D!" he exclaimed, "plans please!"

"For god's sake, can't you think for yourself?" Dudley snapped, "Lets just enjoy the sun – and wait for the first years to come out…" he picked up his smelting stick and flicked it through the air with a sharp swishing sound. The other boys laughed.

"They won't know what hit'em – until we leave a big "D" imprinted on their arses." Cackled Kegs (short for Kevin, but was unlikely to admit this to anyone – he would rather people thought he binge drank, rather than knew the fact that he could get rat-arsed on one and a half pints and was infamous for being unable to hold any amount of alcohol.)

They all laughed at this thought. Then, quickly, Milton said, "guys – we don't have dates for the ball next week – we ought to go to St Beatrice's and search for one."

All the boys moaned, and Milton was hit by a flurry of folders and books. "Aw, shut up Milton" Kegs groaned, "we're not going – it'll be crap. Nothing worth going for and the themes gay – masked ball – how gay is that."

"Yeah, and anyway, we'll gatecrash anyway." Piers said, "before going back to dorms and getting started on the real party. What do you say to that , Big D?"

"I say…we go to St Beatrice's." said Dudley, standing up, "I'm not fucking staying around here all afternoon – St Beatrice girls are hot. Anyway, I want to see Sharon."

"She's got nice tits." piers leered.

"So, what is the deal between you two anyway?" asked Milton, "I mean, she's into you. And didn't you two fuck on Dr Tibbin's desk?"

Dudley laughed. "Yeah – then Mr Tibbins came in – seriously, I've never lost an erection faster. Especially as he was coming in to wank, over pictures of little boys on his computer."

They all laughed. Dudley grinned. "yeah, he came in and screamed, reported me to the master as well. I don't see what his problem is – nobody told when he felt Runty up."

It was the rumour that had gone around the entire school – Runty, whose real name was suspected to have been Roland, was a small, effeminate boy with a tendency towards floppy hair-cuts and high pitched voices. Roland's actual sexuality was rather ambiguous, but because he was small, a scholarship student, slightly gay and a favourite of the History tutor, it had been assumed that there was at least an illicit relationship between the two, even if they hadn't got around to sleeping with each other yet.

"But c'mon – Dudley, tell us! We're you friends – she's one of the hottest and most popular girls there – you'd make such a good couple…"

Dudley thought about this for a moment. Sharon was also possibly one of the most annoying women he knew, including his mother. He knew he should fancy her, he knew that he did fancy her, but he couldn't see himself with her; it would be like dating Piers or Milton – people he liked to have around him because they made him feel better about himself, not because he particularly liked them. Okay, that was a lie, he did like them, but sometimes…sometimes he wished he could have a conversation where people wouldn't treat him like a God or a leader, a leader who could change peoples attitudes and thoughts, he wished sometimes he'd meet someone who would, for once, tell him what they thought without waiting to see what he thought.

As is the usual literature convention in this sort of narrative, Dudley was unaware that his present situation was about to change and, of course, that what he considered to be an idle thought that he hadn't properly thought through, was about to happen.

However, in ignorance of this fact, Dudley Dursley walked to the sister school, climbing over the fence easily, walking to the back door which was nearly always left unlocked, and even when it wasn't, usually would be opened for him by one of the girls. He pushed it open easily, and walked into the corridor, full of pre-teen girls re-applying eye-make up and eating sweets. Dudley ignored them, as well as his gang and made his way to common room as quickly as possible. However, before they had even reached the short-cut stairs, they saw a sight they never thought they'd ever see; Runty within the walls of St Beatrice's.

"Runty?" gasped Dudley in surprise. Runty looked around and stared at Dudley like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a ten wheeler lorry and, grabbing his horn rimmed glasses and turning elegantly on his perfectly polished winkle-pickers, legged it as fast as he could down the corridor.

"Get 'im!" Dudley yelled like a battle cry, and before anyone knew what was going on, Dudley and his gang were chasing Runty, pushing gangs of fourteen year old girls out of the way, shouting abuse at him. Runty, considering how un-athletic he was, ran quiet quickly, much more quickly than the muscular Dudley and might have managed to escape the gang's wrath and therefore change the events of Dudley's life if he had just leapt up the stairs and hid in the teacher's cubby hole in the physics lab, as he briefly through of doing before blind panic came over him, causing him to grab at the banister, swing around the corner and make a break for the side door out onto St Beatrice's field. He might have still made it, as he had a clean run, free of pupils and teachers, but unfortunately for him the floor had just been mopped, and his shoes had very little traction causing him to slip, skid like a break dancer half-way down the hall before finally falling on his front, knocking the breath out of him and forcing his glasses to soar through the air and land spinning a little further down the hallway. Dudley quickly jumped on Runty's back, putting him in a headlock as Milton went for the glasses, and Kegs grabbed Runty's legs so he had absolutely no hope of moving. Pier's, knowing exactly how Dudley liked to treat his victims, managed to tease Runty' satchel from underneath his body and opened it.

"Oh, what's this?" Pier's asked sarcastically, as he took a CD out of his bag, "Runty, into music not books? Dear god!"

"Pass it here…" said Dudley, holding his arm out for it. Pier's passed it obediently, as Dudley grabbed it and read the name out very carefully, "Louis the 14th?"

"Well done, you can read." Runty said sarcastically. Dudley sat down heavily on his, making the poor boy cry out in pain.

"Oh, what would your mother think? It has a picture of a naked woman on the front. She wouldn't like that, would she – but I forgot, you don't like girls, do you?" they all laughed at Runty as he struggled, biting his tongue to keep him from saying anything that might result in a beating.

"Look what else is in here Dudley…"Pier's said, "Mystery Jets? Who're the Mystery Jets?"

"A gay band?" Dudley said, laughing, "and what's this? We Are Scientists? Awwww, lookit the widdle kitties on the fwront…"

"Look, just give me a beating, but put that down! Those aren't mine!" Runty piped up, "those are a friends!"

"A friends? I don't think Mr Tibbs listens to this sort of thing…" Dudley turned the CD around and looked at the back – "Look, they're all ugly geeks! One had a moustache!" he opened the case – "even the CD's pink! It's so gay, isn't it?"

They were all sniggering along with Dudley's joke, when they heard Runty gasp out, "Jessica!"

All the boys looked up immediately. They saw a girl at the end of the corridor, staring at them in disbelief. She parted her pink lips; her dull blue eyes open in horror and exclaimed, "Roland, what's going on?"

"Jess, just go, I'll meet you in the room next to the library…" Runty gasped.

"No way!" she said, stomping towards them, "go away!" she said to Dudley, "You've had your fun, now fuck off."

"Only if I can fuck off you." Dudley answered, grinning.

"Hah hah, very funny, but I'm not blind – now go away to masturbate over your pictures of Rugby players in the shower, like a good bunch of wankers."

Dudley, suddenly angry, got off Runty and ran over to her, grabbing her wrist. "What?" he shouted at her.

Jessica looked him in the eye, in such a way that Dudley had to take a step back – his searing rage was now mixing in with unbridled horniness. As he looked her in the face he suddenly saw something he'd never seen before – a genuinely beautiful girl. He'd seen many glamorous girls before, hundreds of pretty girls wearing too much make up, but he'd never seen a girl without make up on before, not even his mother, and he wasn't sure how to react. Not a scrap of make up, no fake tan, not even mascara and eyeliner; just herself. And god, she needed some mascara, her eyelashes so pale that it looked as if she hardly had any, and her skin blemished with a few spots, but even though he saw this and sneered, he felt himself unconsciously loosen his grip.

Jessica, eyes glittering with anger said, "If – if you don't leave now, I'll do something you'll regret!"

"Like what?" Dudley grinned, "Give me a kiss?"

All the boys laughed. "Ugly cow!" Kegs yelled at her, "who the hell would lower themselves to touch you!"

Jessica actually had tears starting up in her eyes. Shut up, Dudley thought, shut up you stupid bastards! She's far more beautiful than you could understand! She shock her head gently, her short blonde hair swishing around her head as she brought herself together and said loudly and clearly, "If you don't go away and leave my friend alone, I'll…" she stopped, unable to think of anything…

"You'll do what? C'mon, tell us!"

Dudley grabbed her other hand, with a book in it, and forced her up against a wall. "Why don't you give me a snog in the meantime?" He leaned forward, the rest of the gang sniggering, his hands wondering towards her bum. He squeezed it, causing her to let out a squeak. "Nice arse," Dudley smiled,"I'd like a piece of that."

Runty, although half-blind, managed to kick Kegs off him, and scrabbling to his feet, grabbed Dudley from behind, yelling a kamikaze yell, and managed to pull him away, slapping him in the face. "Don't you touch her!" he shouted, his throat scratching in anger, "Don't you touch her, you bastard!"

Dudley was surprised at Runty's bravery; he'd never seen him ever get so het up about anything – which was why he punched Runty in the stomach, kicked him in the balls and then, as Runty lie on the ground, gasping for air, he kicked him again. "Don't tell me what to do, you little runt!" Dudley hissed.

Dudley then turned back to Jessica. "Hey, why don't you dump him and come with us?" Dudley asked, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"I don't believe you!" Jessica spat, "I just don't believe you…"

"You won't get a better offer, " Dudley sniggered, "I know you're not popular, and I am, I don't just date anyone you know…"

"I don't…fuck off." Jessica shouted, falling to her knees, "give me those!" she spat, grabbing Runty's glasses from Pier's hands.

"Oh, you tell him to fuck off!" Kegs shouted angrily, "yeah, you tell him to fuck off you ugly whore! Big D can do better than a hideous unpleasant bitch like you! You're not fit to suck off even Runty here!"

"C'mon Kegs, lets go. We've go better things to do than stay around here." Dudley whispered, patting the boy on the shoulder.

"Yeah, let's go see some girls who know how to use make-up!" Piers sneered.

The gang left quickly, leaving Jessica and Runty on the floor together. Runty sat up, painfully, groaning a little. "Jess, are you…"

Jessica said nothing, and simply embraced Runty, who embraced her back. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" he moaned, wincing, "I will be soon anyway…"

"Who were they?" she asked, her voice flat and emotionless.

"Oh, just Dudley's gang, " Runty winced, taking his glasses from Jessica's hand, "Thanks for helping me like that."

"Don't worry, I don't like bullies. I've been on the receiving end of too many."

Runty suddenly realised that she had tears in her eyes. Blinking short sightedly at her he looked as she looked at the ground, her eyes turning a little red. He couldn't take it. He pushed her miserable face up, cradling it in his hands and said, "Jess, you're not ugly. In fact, you're one of the prettiest girls I know."

"Roland…I should know…but it still hurts." She whispered, tears running sown her cheek.

"Don't let it hurt, he's just a charmless man who couldn't get what he wants." Jess laughed through her tears as Runty sang "He thinks his educated airs, those family shares,Will protect him, that you will respect him… when you put it all together, There's the model of a charmless man."

"Blur?" she asked, sniffing a little.

"Guess which album, and I'll love you." Runty laughed.

"The great escape, I think." Jessica laughed, tears falling down her face, "and…and you also quote Muse."

Runty laughed and hugged her again. Then, taking her face again, holding in his hands and brushing aside a loose strand of blonde hair he admired her and sighed. "I wish that I wasn't already going out with someone – I'd fall for you in a shot. I hate to say it again, but you're better than that bastard, with his gang and his ego the size of a planet. He couldn't think for himself if his life depended on it, all he has is the ability to beat up people smaller than him. He couldn't love anyone if he tried." Then, leaning over, he kissed her cheek, just where the tears had fallen, and like a bridge falling apart collapsed against the wall. A tear of pain escaped his eyes, Jess wiping hers away.

"You're better than all of them – especially that Dudley, the coward. At least the others seemed to want to do it, but he seemed as if he was only doing it to keep control of his gang." She spat, "And, well, he's lost his chance with this fine piece of ass."

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I hope you liked that – I know this is waaaaaay AU, but to be fair, I think Dudley ought to get a little more screen time, plus I think that its an interesting premise – can he change?

Points to anyone who understands the references made to music in the chapter – Americans, please look up the mystery jets as their song "alas Agnes" is one of the most amusing things I've heard in a while. Plus, I've met them briefly (when very, very drunk and said something terribly embarrassing), are a father and son team (The Blonde guy used to be a stoner in the 60's, and now he's in a band with his son – it does seem a little bit like a mid-life crisis, or would if the songs weren't brilliant) and live near to where I live (Eel pie Island…whoo!). It may also come into play a little later in the story.

I usually have a song in mind whenever I write a chapter or scene, and this time it was a Blur song – Charmless man, and doesn't it just fit Dudley? I don't know why, but I just feel sorry for him – he's going to end up working at Gruntings afterwards, isn't he? And that's if he's lucky! I want to give him a bit more of a life.

So please r and r what you think – it might not be a great story, and maybe too Origional universe for most people, but I promise the mentions of magic will get stronger, and Harry will come in as a real threat quiet soon.

Hope to hear from you soon

Xandra the blue.