A/N: WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH. Make sure you have a box of tissues nearby. This puppy is full of angst, but it also has its happier moments. The song is 'Music Of My Heart' by NSYNC and Gloria Estefan – absolutely beautiful. Enjoy!
You'll never know what you've done for me
What your faith in me has done for my soul
And you'll never know the gift you've given me
I'll carry it on with me
"Danny, it's not urgent; it can wait until tomorrow."
"I don't mind going out, Montana. You've had a long day. Jus' relax an' let me take care of everything. I won't be long."
Lindsay sighed stubbornly. She had been at work since early morning, and her eyelids were beginning to droop. Realizing they needed some groceries, she had planned to go but decided to hold off until the next day. Danny, however, was displaying his usual chivalrous manners and volunteered to pick up the items. Lindsay could not help but smile; they had been dating for almost a year now, and he constantly went out of his way for her. Everyone on the team was thrilled to hear that they were finally together, although Mac cautioned them to not let it interfere with their work.
Danny wrapped his strong arms around her waist, pulling her in close. "I'll be right back, okay? I love you."
Lindsay gave in to his charm. "Love you too."
---
Danny changed the headlights to a stronger beam as he drove down the quiet street, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel. Normally he wouldn't have music on, but there was not much activity on the streets and he allowed himself to sing along to some melodies. He considered himself a horrible singer but still attempted anyways, often being caught by Lindsay whilst in the shower or on his way to work.
Lindsay. She meant the world to him, and he let her know it whenever he got the chance. He had never expected to fall in love, much less with a country girl who had taken the place of his friend and former colleague. But over time she grew on him, and before he knew it he longed to work with her, to be near her so he could inhale her sweet vanilla scent. She had been reluctant at first, but finally she opened up and allowed him inside the walls she had built around herself. He could not imagine his life without her, and was looking forward to spending the rest of it with her by his side.
Two bright lights suddenly appeared in his vision, blinding him momentarily. Before Danny could even think, his body slammed forward with wicked force as the air bag simultaneously deployed. Despite wearing his seatbelt, his skull crashed against the dashboard, and his lifeless body was sent upside down as the vehicle rolled over several times before coming to a screeching halt on its roof.
---
Snapping her eyes shut, Lindsay forced the horrid reverie from her mind as she slowly made her way to the grave, clutching a bundle of flowers in her hand. Several months had passed since Danny's death, but time could not erase the pain and guilt that had haunted her for so long. She had received a phone call from Mac that night, and even before he spoke she knew something was terribly wrong. Danny had neither answered his cell nor returned home. Mac's tear-filled voice confirmed her worst fears: Danny had been killed, struck head-on by a drunk driver.
As she knelt down in front of the tombstone, her mind played back to the funeral and the following nights. Every single person in the lab had come to pay their respects to a fallen comrade, and the five remaining detectives consoled each other throughout the entire ceremony. Lindsay merely stood at the front of the column, her eyes fixated on the coffin that held Danny's body. All blood had drained from her face, and her skin was cold to the touch. Not a single person left the cemetery dry-eyed that day.
The nights proved long and strenuous for Lindsay, who had constant nightmares of Danny's accident. Unknown shadows chased her around the corridors of her mind, pointing accusingly at her and speaking in ghastly tones.
"It's all your fault!"
"You caused him to die!"
Lindsay had always woken up screaming, a thin layer of sweat covering her shaking body. She had wrenched almost every night for the first few days, locking herself in the bathroom and remaining hunched over the toilet until the early morning arrived. She bravely tried to go back to work, but whenever she walked into her office - which her and Danny had shared - she broke down in choked sobs. Stella had kept a cautious eye on her, making sure the young woman got at least some sleep and food. The nightmares had continued for some time before they grew fainter into the distance. But the guilt would always remain.
---
Through the days ahead I'll think of days before
You made me hope for something better
And made me reach for something more
"Hey cowboy. I brought some flowers for you."
Placing the bundle gently down at the head of the tombstone, Lindsay allowed her gaze to wash over the inscribed message she had read so many times.
Danny Messer
A dedicated officer and loving friend,
Who was taken from us far too early.
We will always remember him.
1973 – 2007
Lindsay closed her eyes, feeling them well with fresh tears. She had come every week since the accident, bringing a new bushel of flowers with each visit. Over the last few months she had thought greatly about the joy that Danny had brought to her life. Before he came along her world was blocked out by the fortified walls she had built inside her mind, but Danny had swiftly found a way through them. She had had boyfriends in the past, but none of them meant as much to her as Danny did. She had been so timid upon her arrival in New York, afraid to explore the possibilities of a new life in a world far different from her own. But Danny quickly turned that all around with his charming smile and loving nature.
"I miss you so much Danny. I think about what we could have had together. We were going to marry and start a family. We would move to a bigger place so our kids would have room to play, laugh and grow, and we would grow old together just like in the movies."
"Emily!"
Lindsay whirled around at the urgent voice, and her eyes widened in surprise. A little girl was running towards her whilst the mother gave chase. The youngster was grasping something in her small hand. Forcing a smile onto her solemn features, Lindsay bent down to the child's level and studied her. A pair of brilliant blue eyes, much like those of Danny, stared inquisitively back.
"Can I help you?" Lindsay asked gently.
The girl, who was about five years old, posed a question of her own. "Why are you crying?"
Lindsay chose her words carefully, knowing how delicate children could be about death. "I came to say hello to my friend. I haven't seen him for a while, and I miss him very much."
The mother came rushing over and intervened. "I'm so sorry; she insisted on talking to you."
Lindsay peered up at her, shaking her head. "It's alright; she's no bother."
Reaching out, the young girl wiped away a tear that had fallen from Lindsay's right eye. Like all children, she always had an inquiry. "Is your friend sleeping?"
"Yes. I visit him often."
The little one held out her hand to Lindsay, revealing the object she had been holding, and dropped it into the centre of her palm. "I found this at my grandma's bed. My mommy says she's sleeping an' that she's an angel in heaven. Maybe she knows your friend. I'll tell her to say hi to him for you."
Lindsay was at a loss for words, and she peered at what the child had placed in her hand. It was a small daisy with perfectly symmetrical white petals. The flower immediately brought her mind back to the night on the pool table when Danny had graciously taken her shift. He had left a note and a daisy as a symbol of his love. Tears welled in her eyes, and as she brought her gaze upwards the girl smiled with all the innocence of a child. Without another word she bounded off in the opposite direction. The mother nodded respectively to Lindsay and followed her daughter, where she eventually caught up to her and encased her in a warm hug.
Lindsay watched the pair until they had reached the grandmother's grave, where the youngster placed another daisy on the earth, running a small hand over the tombstone before the mother bent down and whispered something into her ear. The child whirled around, waved good-bye to Lindsay, and took her mother's outstretched hand before heading for the exit.
---
You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Helped me hear the music of my heart
Struggling to find her voice, Lindsay merely turned her attention to Danny's grave and tried to comprehend what had just taken place. In her hand lay a beautiful daisy given to her by a small, simple child. It was clear that Danny was sending her a message, and it had come in the form of a young human being who had done no wrong in the world.
Through the girl, Lindsay had seen Danny's compassion and love. This child had no idea who she was, yet she had given her a special gift and message: it was alright to be sad, to cry for those who had passed on. For the first time in many a week, Lindsay felt content with her surroundings. Danny may have just been another person to some, but to her he was her pillar of strength. He had made life worthwhile; he showed her that courage can be found in even the simplest of souls, and that hope – even when it seemed everyone was against you – was the most important thing one could ever hold on to. In the end, he had set her free.
A gentle breeze whispered through her hair, and she smiled as it caressed her soft skin and danced across the back of her neck. A single snowflake landed on her nose, quickly followed by several more. Some dabbed her coat, whilst others speckled her hair.
Lindsay shifted her gaze upwards and managed a small chuckle. "Is this the way you say hello now, by pouring cold snow all over me?"
Leaning down, she kissed the smooth stone and ran her fingers over the words. "Goodbye, my love. I'll see you again soon."
---
You've opened my eyes, you've opened the door
To something I've never known before
And your love is the music of my heart
Lindsay moaned in bliss as the savoury hot chocolate warmed her heart. The winter season had just begun, and often she found herself wandering down to Central Park, visiting the pond where she and Danny would skate until the sun was well below the horizon. A few days had passed since the incident at the cemetery, and Lindsay could not get the young girl's image out of her head. It was as if she were staring at Danny again: brown hair, oceanic blue eyes, and above all a kindred spirit. It was comforting to know that there were people like her in the world.
She peered up at the uncharted vaults, which were dabbed with countless stars that seemed to stretch off into eternity. One instantly caught her attention; it was the largest and brightest in the sky, and Lindsay wasn't sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her or if the star actually twinkled. Her mother used to say that all the good people who passed away were lifted up to the sky, where their spirits turned into stars to watch over the rest of the world.
She settled down in the bed, lying on the side closest to the window. Danny would always let her sleep on that side, as she enjoyed waking up with the sun warming her features, or as he used to say, "The beautiful face that I love seeing every morning and every night."
This night Lindsay's dreams did not consist of repetitive nightmares; instead her spirit was whisked away to some far-off paradise where she was filled with a sense of peacefulness and security.
Danny was right beside her through the entire journey, joining her as they soared over sum-rimmed clouds across the sparkling sea, and Lindsay knew that when her own time came they would be reunited for eternity and walk the rainbow of freedom, hand-in-hand.
Your love is the music of my heart
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Apologizes in advance for making anyone cry. I teared up a bit while writing this piece. Reviews are appreciated and love :)