Okay, here's the deal. I posted this story on this site before, and it got taken down (due to a non-story chapter I posted). I'll try not to do that again, so wish me luck this time around.
I'd also like to point this out right now. The main character of this story is a Multiverser. For those of you who don't know what it is, a Multiverser is a person who is Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omni-Present. That means a Multiverser can literally do anything, which might make them come off as a bit Mary Sue-ish. They also seem to have a habit of gaining a harem of women they fall in love with with every universe they visit. Therefore, if any of what I just described isn't your cup of tea, then I suggest turning around and reading another fic. If what I described IS to your liking, than feel free to enjoy yourself.
Anyway, concerning how I made this story: I got inspiration for this story from the Omake chapter in VindictiveDunc's story "MLTI VRSE," based off of the Rooster Teeth show known as RWBY. In the first half of the Omake, Duncan and Yang were watching the first two episodes of Red vs. Blue, another show made by Rooster Teeth. During the second episode, it is shown that Duncan is on both of the Blood Gulch teams, as the characters Duncan (Blue Team) and Will (Red Team).
I would also like to inform you that I have permission from VindictiveDunc to do this story, so please don't rank on me for this.
Anyway, here's the disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN RED VS. BLUE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM! IT IS THE RIGHTFUL PROPERTY OF ROOSTER TEETH AND ALL THEIR COMEDIC GLORY!
Now with that out of the way, time to get this show on the road! Here's the first chapter of "Red vs. Blue with Multiverser: The Blood Gulch Chronicles"!
Chapter 1: Why Are We Here? (Seriously, WHY?!)
Blood Gulch.
A freaking hole in the ground in the middle of freaking nowhere. That is literally the best way I can describe this forsaken place. Its always hot and sunny, there's no lake or trees, and the only source of shade (or signs of intelligent (?) life, for that matter) are two plain bases in the middle of this boxed canyon.
Downside: those two bases happen to be the property of the (arguably) biggest idiots in this freaking universe.
Upside: I can't help but love said idiots. Somewhat.
Well, might as well get this out of the way now. I'm Michael Verser, and I'm what is known as a Multiverser. For those of you who are new to this, a Multiverser is a person with the power to make reality their personal playground. We can pretty much do anything, and spend most of our time visiting and inhabiting other universes. Universes based on things that we thought were fiction.
One such universe is this one. The world of Red vs. Blue, brought to our knowledge in our world through a web series created by Rooster Teeth.
And it is freaking HILARIOUS!
But getting back on track, let's meet these guys in their natural habitats.
We now find ourselves at on of these bases, which has three soldiers (two in Mjolnir armor, one wearing Halo 5 NOBLE armor with a katana and a sniper rifle strapped to his back) standing on top looking out over the canyon. One soldier wears maroon armor, another wearing orange (though many confuse it with yellow, for some reason), and the last wearing white armor with red stripes. They are Private Richard "Dick" Simmons (maroon), Private Dexter Grif (orange), and Private First Class S. "Sully" Verser (white, red).
Oh, and in case you didn't notice, Sully Verser is me. You see, I'm on both teams, though under different names. If anyone ever asks, we/I can just say we're brothers. At least until I can trust these guys enough to tell them the truth. Until then, business as usual.
Sully Verser's POV:
"Hey," Simmons said.
"Yeah?" Grif asked.
"What is it?" I asked.
Turning to face us, Simmons asked "You ever wonder why we're here?"
Upon saying that, Grif leaned on the wall next to him and thought for a second. "One of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we really the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."
I then decided to add in my two cents. "But if there really is a God, then what if, as a part of his plan for us, he made more than just one universe? I mean, there is the whole Multiverse theory, so it could be possible. But is it really a part of His plan, or was it all just happenstance that lead to its creation?"
Grif stared at me for a second. "Wow. That is...that is really deep, man."
And for the next few moments, everything was quiet.
"...What?!" Simmons asked. "I meant why are we out here in this canyon?"
Grif and I started shuffling in place and looking away nervously. "Oh. Uh, yeah," Grif said.
"Yeah, uh, that's true, huh?" I added.
"What was all that stuff about God?"
"Nothing," we both said.
"...You two wanna talk about it?"
"No," we both said again.
Sighing in defeat, Simmons asked "Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell," he motioned around the whole place, "it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out."
"Mm hmm," I hummed in agreement. I couldn't deny what we all thought: we all hated this place.
"The only reason we set up a Red Base here," Simmons continued as he pointed at the ground, then pointed to the other end of the canyon as he continued "is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they set up a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here."
"Yeah," Grif said. "That's because we're fighting each other."
"No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking doo," Simmons finished sarcastically.
"What's up with that, anyway?" Grif asked. "I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys."
I turned to face Grif and stared at him for a moment. "Didn't you get drafted?" I asked innocently.
"...Shut the fuck up, Sully."
Third-Person's POV:
And now, we look to a nearby cliff with two members of Blue Team. Private Leonard L. Church, the cobalt armored de-facto leader of the team (and world's worst sniper ever. Of all time); and Private Lavernius Tucker, the aqua armored "lady's man" of Blue Team and future swordsman. They were running reconnaissance on Red Team, with Church using the sniper rifle to spy on them.
"What are they doing?" Tucker asked.
Church turned around and aggravatingly asked "What?"
"I said, 'What are they doing now?'"
Church stared trying to massage his head through his helmet, clearly attempting to get rid of his growing annoyance. "God Damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"
Tucker held up his hands defensively. "You have they fucking sniper rifle, I can't see shit. Don't start to bitch at me because I'm not going to sit up here and play with my di-"
"Okay, okay, look," Church interrupted, "they're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be, 'They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there.'"
...
...
...
...
"...What are they talking about?" Tucker asked.
"...You know what? I fucking hate you."
"Don't be such an asshole, Church. He was just asking a question (albeit an annoying one)."
They both turned around to see a soldier coming up the ramp. He was wearing white NOBLE armor with blue stripes, and had a katana and a sniper rifle strapped to his back. This is my double on Blue team, Private Michael Verser, the team's martial artist/master swordsman/infiltrator. He's also the one soldier that Church doesn't hate, and the only one he really respects. And that's saying something.
"Well I wouldn't be such an asshole to him if he didn't keep bugging the shit out of me," Church replied. "And why are you here, Michael? I thought you were in the middle of an 'enthusiastic stroll' through the canyon."
Michael shrugged and said "I finished early, so I decided to see what you guys were looking at. Is Sully there?"
Returning his sniper to the Reds to spy, Church replied "Yeah, he's still there, talking with the others. You know, the orange guy and the maroon guy."
"The lazy ass and the kiss ass?"
"Yeah, those are the ones."
Sully Verser's POV:
"Talk about a waste of resources," Grif complained. "I mean, we should be out there, finding new and intelligent forms of life...you know, fight them."
I raised my hands in exasperation. "That's what I've been saying for years! Nobody ever listens to me!"
"Seriously, this is why they should put us in charge," Simmons added.
"Ladies! Front and center on the double!"
And there's my biggest headache on Red Team. Sarge, the red armored, shotgun-wielding leader of Red Team, and a man whose half-baked schemes lead to a never ending pain in the ass for me. Because he's my CO, and I can't go against him without becoming a "traitor," or unless my logic can beat his.
Getting down to the front of the base, the three of us stood at attention.
"Hurry up, ladies," Sarge said. "This ain't no ice cream social."
Grif and Simmons exchanged looks, while I was left scratching my head. "Ice cream social, sir?" I asked. "Really?"
"Stop with the pillow talk, you three. Anyone want to guess why I called you out here today?"
Grif raised his hand. "Is it because the war's over, and your sending us home?" I face-palmed, knowing what he had just set himself up for.
"That's right, private," Sarge said mockingly. "War's over. We won. Turns out your the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float. Sully gets to choose the music to play. And Simmons here IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!" Sarge finished, yelling out that last bit to admonish his most hated subordinate.
"I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir," Grif said nonchalantly.
Sarge started trembling in rage a bit. "Goddamn it, Private! Shut your mouth before I have Simmons here slit your throat while you're asleep!"
Turning to look at Grif, Simmons added "Oh I'd do it, too!" I glared at Simmons as he said that. The one thing I cannot stand about this guy is how much of a fucking kiss ass his is!
"I know you would, Simmons," Sarge said with fucking pride in his voice. "Good man." After a brief pause, he continued "Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1."
Grif slumped at that, saying "Crap, we're getting a rookie." I couldn't help but feel in his slight depression. Donut started out as one of the more normal of these guys, but then became so freaking annoying (especially during the fifth season with his whole anti-drug lingo phase).
"That's right, dead man," Sarge confirmed. "Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command." We all exchanged looks with each other before Sarge said "Lopez, bring up the vehicle."
And here comes Lopez, the mechanic of Red Team. He wore the same Mjolnir armor the others wore, except his was brown. Though Grif and Simmons didn't know it yet, Lopez was actually a robot. And when he gets his voice, he'll only be able to speak in freaking Spanish! Not that that's a problem for me, but still! Why have a robot speak a language no one else on the team can understand?!
I digress, though. Lopez came up to our base in our new, armor-plated, jeep-like vehicle (complete with a built-in turret) before parking it next to us.
Me: "Shotgun!"
Simmons: "Shotgun!"
Grif: "Shotgun!"
Simmons and Grif: "Fuck!"
"May I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle," Sarge started with appreciation. "It has four-inch armor plating; mag bumper suspension; a mounted gunner position; and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog."
The three of us were left staring at the vehicle. "Why Warthog, sir?" Simmons asked his CO.
"Because M12 LRV is too long to say in a conversation, son," was the response.
"No, I mean, why call it a Warthog?" Grif asked. "I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig."
I couldn't help but face-palm once more at Grif's stupidity, as he once again gained Sarge's wrath aimed at him. With narrowed eyes, Sarge said "Say that again."
"I think it looks more like a puma."
And thus began the comment that started an argument between RvB fans throughout the world.
"What in Sam Hell is a puma?" Sarge asked.
"Uh, you mean like the shoe company?" Simmons asked. For a supposedly smart guy, how could he not know what a freaking puma is?!
"No, like a big cat," Grif said, "like a lion."
Sarge simply stared and said "You're making that up."
"I'm telling you, it's a real animal!"
Raising my hand, I added "He's telling the truth, sir. It's a big, black cat that's native to jungles. And, honestly, if you look closely it kinda does look like a puma."
Exasperated, Sarge cried out "Damn it, Sully! You see these two tow hooks?" I nodded. "They look like tusks. And what animal has tusks?"
"A walrus," Grif deadpanned.
"Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!"
"But he just said pumas were real!"
Michael Verser's POV:
"What is that thing?" Tucker asked. Seems the Reds finally got their Warthog. Donut's sure to be close behind, along with Sheila and Caboose for us.
I better get ready for him. I may be immortal, but I am not going to just let myself get accidentally team killed by Caboose.
"I don't know, man," Church said. "Looks like, uh...looks like they've got some sorta car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it."
"A car?!" Tucker cried out. "How come they get a car?!"
"What are you complaining about, man?" Church asked. "We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."
Looking down in disappointment, Tucker said "You can't pick up chicks in a tank."
Church started to get another migraine before I stepped in. "Tucker, I hate to break it to you...actually, I'd love to break it to you. You can't pick up chicks at all. It doesn't matter what vehicle you're in."
"You're a dick," Tucker grumbled. With a sigh, he asked "Well, what kind of car is it?"
Church and I brought up our sniper rifles (mine was Avalon in disguise) before Church answered "I dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It kinda looks like a, uh...like a big cat of some kind."
"...What, like a puma?" Tucker asked.
"Yeah, man, there you go."
"I don't know," I said as I looked at it. "It kinda looks more like a pig. You know, like a, uh...like a, like a warthog."
Sully Verser's POV:
Sarge and I had been arguing about the name of the M12 LRV for a good five minutes now. Finally, Sarge said "Damn it all, son, will you just tell me how in Sam Hell this looks like a 'Puma?!' If you can do that, I'll drop the whole thing!"
Knowing I might regret it with Grif later, I decided to pull a Duncan. "Okay, Sarge. How's this? Which mental image is more pleasing to you: a warthog impaling Grif with its tusks? Or a viscous puma eviscerating him, piece by bloody piece? He doesn't even have to be alive for it to happen, as the puma could've torn out his throat and let him bleed to death."
Grif stared at me in a perfect mixture of shock and horror, while Simmons looked ready to blow chunks at the mere thought of all that carnage. "WHAT THE FUCK, SULLY?!" Grif cried out.
Sarge, after a moment of thinking, smiled behind his helmet and happily said "Change of plans, ladies! From here on out, we're calling this thing the Puma! Now you two help me out with the ammo," he said to Grif and Simmons. "Its not gonna load itself!"
Dejectedly, Grif said "Yes, sir."
While they did that, I headed back into Red Base just in time to get a call. The caller ID said this was from Honolulu, Hawaii, meaning it could only be one person. I went into my room and opened up the vid screen, showing a beautifully tanned girl with a small amount of freckles and short, dark brown hair with two bangs on each side of her youthful face.
["Hey, baby! How are you?"]
Kaikaina Grif, the color blind younger sister of Dexter Grif and future member of Blue Team. Unknown to Dexter, Kaikaina is also my girlfriend. Now, Dex and I are rather good friends (comes from how I defend him some of the time from Sarge's wrath). But friend of not, if he ever finds out about me dating his sister, he will try to kill me (and fail), even if he's out of shape.
Our secret relationship happened after I was asked to tutor her, as her grades were beginning to tank (a product of parties). The two of us...didn't exactly see eye to eye at first. Which she made a point to mention whenever she could.
However, after I saved her from nearly getting raped by some junkie, we began to become rather friendly with each other. After months of hanging out, we started becoming attracted to each other, and eventually fell in love. At that point, I decided to trust her with my biggest secret.
That's right, she's one of the few people in this world that knows that I'm a Multiverser. And she honestly didn't care one bit. "We all carry baggage," she said knowing how corny it sounded. "The trick is finding a matching set." So from then on, we told each other everything. Sure, we had some fights from stuff we said, but we always managed to get past them.
Plus, we both agreed that make-up sex is just the best.
"Hey, Kai," I greeted with a smile. "How're things in Honolulu?"
["Not bad,"] she admitted. With concern, she added ["Though I did hear about the Covenant recently landing in New Mombasa. If I didn't already know everything would turn out okay, I'd be pretty worried."]
"Don't worry," I assured her, "that bastard Truth is gonna get his soon enough."
She chuckled at that. ["Yeah. So, what's going on in Boring Town?"]
"Well, we recently got the jeep, which we're now calling the Puma-"
["You actually convinced Sarge to call it that?!" Kaikaina exclaimed in shock. ["How?!"]
I grew a bit nervous at that. "I, uh, gave him the mental image of, uh...a puma eviscerating your brother."
Scowling, she then face-palmed. "Seriously, what is his problem with Dex?!"
"I wish I knew, Kai. I wish I knew." We both sighed. "Anyway, Donut'll be coming soon, along with Caboose and Sheila. That means Tex and Omega won't be too far behind, either."
Kaikaina nodded. ["The clone of Beth's mom, right?"]
I sweat-dropped a bit. "In a way, yeah."
["Right, okay. How's Beth doing, anyway? I really miss her."] Yeah, I should get this out of the way right now: I'm dating a woman named Elizabeth Church- a.k.a. Agent Carolina- as well. And the three of us are in a polyamorous relationship with each other.
That, however, is a long story for another time.
"She's still in hiding from what's left of Project Freelancer, along with the rest of the gang."
"/Which includes me./" a feminine, magenta hologram spoke up.
Oh, right. That would be Akima, a.k.a. Lambda. She's my A.I./girlfriend, whom I once rescued from the clutches of Project Freelancer. Also one of the girls in a relationship with that I mentioned beforehand.
Again, long story, not the time to tell it.
Chuckling, I said "Yeah, you too, Akima."
"/Good to know I'm still remembered,/" she said playfully. "/By the way, someone's coming./"
Sure enough, I heard someone coming, so I decided to cut the call short. "Sorry, but I have to go. Talk to you later, Kai."
Blowing a kiss at me, she said ["See ya later, baby."]
The door opened as Akima disappeared and the screen turned off. In the doorway was Grif, helmet tucked under his arm to show the angry look on his chubby, tanned, goatee-covered face. "Dude, what the fuck was that all about with the jeep?!"
"Sorry," I said apologetically, "but I just wanted him to drop the whole thing."
Sighing, Grif said "Fine. Anyway, who were you just talking to?"
"Huh? Oh, that was Kai. She was just checking in to see how we're doing."
He smiled at that. "Well, I'm just glad you two met. Ever since you started tutoring her, her whole personality started changing for the better."
'/I bet the sex helped as well,/' Akima teased in my head.
Rolling my eyes, I said "Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, where's Sarge?"
"He's getting ready to leave for a meeting at Red Command."
"Nice!" I exclaimed, laying down on my bed with my arms stretched out. "We get time off from that wacko! Plus, I'm in charge in the meantime."
"Awesome." Stretching tiredly, he said "Well, I'm going to go take a nap. Later, Sully."
"Later, Grif." As soon as he left, I decided to take a nap myself.
I was gonna need it for what was soon to come.
Well, that's my first chapter of my first Red vs Blue story. Quite an interesting start, huh? I'm on both teams as a pair of "brothers," I have my own A.I., and I'm secretly dating both Kaikaina Grif (a.k.a. Sister) and Agent Carolina (who will not be showing up for some time, unfortunately T-T).
Again, I just want to point out that VindictiveDunc is cool with me basing this off of his omake chapter section. Plus, once again, I don't own Red vs. Blue!
Anyway, please leave a review or comment. BUT NO FLAMES ALLOWED!
Till next time, Hero of the Multiverse is out of here!