One Choice, One Life to Lose
Hello there. Here's an angsty fic I wrote this afternoon. Set weeks after the Lauren Eames case, but with a twist, namely:
Brennan did not confess about her feelings to Booth in the SUV, yet.
I hope you like it. :)
RATE&REVIEW, please. Always cheers me up. Like, always.
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"Oh God, Temperance, you're bleeding!"—she cried out, one arm draped over Brennan's shoulder, the other, applying pressure on a shallow wound on her abdomen.
"It…it hurts…," Brennan huffed out between dragged breaths, weaker and weaker by each passing second.
"Temperance, hold on. Seeley's gonna come," she encouraged, though it did nothing to ease the thoughts that were running inside Brennan's head. Death, regrets, and disappearing without a trace…metaphorically, rationalizing still, that there would be a trace; her corpse.
"He doesn't even know…we're here," she spoke through clenched teeth, wishing she'd had to stop talking. Her head was throbbing, real bad; but that was not the real trouble. When the half-empty train crashed just outside the subways, life left out of her. It was only for a matter of seconds—the bumping, the breaking of the glass. It wasn't until she tried to get up when she realized she was badly injured; a cut through her forehead, the left side of her body badly bruised, and a shard of glass pierced through her stomach.
She wanted to scream her thoughts…
Death smelled so near…
So many words unspoken…
So many words unspoken…
"Hold on, Temperance. They're coming to get us,"
Six hours ago, Washington, D.C.
There seemed to be an endless fit of laughter and giggled echoing throughout her once dry and work-themed office. It had been one of those rare moments when she got to be carefree…
Angela found joy in seeing her best friend like that…
"Sweetie, you said you're catching a train to Virginia this afternoon, right?"
"Yeah," Brennan nodded, smoothing her insides from the long minutes of laughing, "Hannah wanted to hang out over a train ride. She found the sceneries rather fascinating,"
Angela let out a small, "Oh,"
"Is Booth coming with you?"
"No, just Hannah and I,"
As if on cue, Booth came with several packs of Thai, a smile adorning his sheepish features Brennan learned to love…so much.
"Hey Angela, good morning,"—he greeted, before walking towards his partner, "Hello there Bones,"
A small smile escaped Brennan's lips, as she took one of the packs from Booth.
Angela smirked at the flash of sexiness that just filled the room, "Hey, G-man. Thai food for the three of us?"
"You bet," Booth replied, and tossed a sealed pack to Angela's direction. She single-handedly caught the pack, proudly smirking with her catcher skills. Booth grinned, impressed, and turned to his partner, "So, paper work until twelve, Bones?"
Brennan nodded, and after Booth had settled the food on her desk, handed the mountains of paper work from their previous cases. "We better hurry; I have plans for this afternoon,"
"Okay, Bones. Right away,"
Angela's phone went off, "Oh damn," she cursed slightly, and got to her feet. "Have to go back to my office; Dr. Goodman asked me a favor of rendering centuries-old artifacts,"
She grunted, but a glimmer of excitement for doing a favor for her good ole' boss shone from her features. She bade farewell with the delicious treat.
Booth scanned the first folder on the pile, snorting as he read.
"Is this the Lauren Eames case? I thought I had finished the paper work on this one," he frowned, scanning the pages a little too harshly. Brennan looked up at the mention of the deceased doctor.
She still hadn't told him what she felt the entire duration of the case…
"Can I see?" she asked, and Booth looked up suspiciously.
"I thought I was gonna do all the paper work here, Bones?" he replied cockily, "you're going to help me, huh?"
Brennan stared on. The look on her face told Booth something was a little off…
So, instead of handing over the file, he placed it on top of her coffee table, and inched closer to his partner. "Everything okay, Bones?"
Temperance, it's too late now. He has Hannah…he's happy with Hannah, her rational side told her. But the less heard irrational mind pursued, be the gambler today. Be the gambler. Go on, tell him…
It was already too late for her to back away now. Booth was already waiting for her true and honest answer. Being only inches away from him made it that…much…harder.
"I made a mistake," she mumbled under her breath.
Confused, Booth sighed. "On the case? I told you my opinion. You got it right,"
"Not everything,"
Booth was too lost to understand anything. Either way, he tried to put himself on his partner's shoes, and looked back to that night in the dangerous part of town. She was so close to being run over by a car before he ran and saved her from her own madness. Under the pouring rain, she had told him how the doctor died…she didn't have all the staticky scientific evidence, but he believed her. He always did.
And then he took her home. Not much was said during the ride, and he let her be…
"She died having regrets,"
Reassuring and comforting as he had always been, he said, "Come on, Bones. Everybody has regrets,"
She completely gave up on the paper and pen she was holding, and directed all her attention to Booth.
"I heard her, you know? Micah says that all we get are these…" she trailed off, ridiculed at the night watch's strange choice of words. "…dim, staticky messages from the universe,"
"Who's this Micah guy?"
"The night watchman, but he attends a lot of lectures. Anyway, the point is … she never gave him a chance,"
Completely lost, he asked again, "Micah?"
"No," She objected, "No, the helicopter pilot."
Booth barely remembered the people from their cases, and the helicopter pilot barely rang a bell in his head.
Brennan went on, "He offered himself to her, but she never gave him a chance," her voice spoke of so much volume…so much emotions even she, was not aware of.
Booth looked up in surprise, realizing that Brennan had swiftly directed the situation to the two of them.
It all made sense now. How Brennan acted so strange and emotional throughout this one case, how she got too close to the parallels she drew from the doctor's life and hers…it all made sense now.
"I got the signal, Booth. I don't want to have any regrets," she looked up at him, and it hurt him to even meet her glance half-way.
The hopeful and innocent look on her face killed Booth. It stung…like a thousand bees, and pierced his soul like a thousand knives…His gaze dropped to the ground, unsure of how he should handle this situation…
"Um, I'm with…" he trailed off, already feeling the weight of her stare on his shoulder, "I'm with someone." He looked up, as Brennan nodded dejectedly…
"And, uh, Hannah, she's not a consolation prize," He intently fixed his gaze to the wall,
"I love her,"
And then the dam broke. It became all too much for her to gain. Even the long years of imperviousness had not helped her hold back the unsaid feelings inside her. Booth felt he had just broke the unbreakable heart, and ruined what seemed to be a dynamic partnership…and friendship. Her sobs crushed his heart into pieces, and began to have second-thoughts of what he just did. Was he sure? Was he sure about everything, and Hannah?
"You know the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but those are the facts…"
She nodded understandingly, in a matter of seconds, had impressively collected herself. "I understand. I missed my chance," She huffed out, hands wiping her own tears, "My world has turned upside down," She turned to him, and yet again crushed by the pain he just caused her.
"I can adjust,"
"I did,"
"Yes, you did,"
In a snap of a finger, she became the woman he met years ago. He didn't think it was possible—but it just did. She got to her feet, and motioned to her desk, though before she could do just that, he grabbed her hand gently, and to her surprise, he squeezed it.
"I'm sorry for hurting you Bones,"
There was not much besides coldness in her eyes. The once cool and refreshing blue ocean-like eyes of hers. He just broke that. Looking back at him, she said.
"We'll call it even," with a small, pained smile in the corner of her mouth.
She shrugged his hand away, but he did not… "I'm still your best guy friend, right?"
If he had been thinking straight, he should have known that his choice of words hurt her even more. Reminding her of the sad reality…a best friend was all she could ever be.
Present time…
Before she had control over her feelings, she broke into a fit of tears. Hannah, surprised, turned to her side.
"Temperance, I know it hurts, but you just got to hold on, alright? The rescuers are coming our way. We're in the middle of the crash, and they have to be extra careful or else everything would collapse from there on…"
She mumbled, and mumbled, and Brennan wished she'd just stop. "Stop,"
Then she realized, if she was going to die now…
No feelings must be left unsaid,
No tears left unshed.
Emotional pain was much, much greater than the throb her injuries caused her.
Releasing a handful of breath, she confessed, "I'm in love with him,"
It did not feel right. Especially…confessing to Hannah. But at the same time, it felt exactly right. When Hannah did not show hints of displease, she made it her cue to go on.
"All my life, I lived alongside rationality. I never believed that such a thing as love existed…"
She sobbed on, "If I don't make it..."
"Temperance, don't…"
"If I don't make it," she cut Hannah mid-sentence, and pleaded with her eyes, "I want you to take care of Booth. You're good for him, and…you're the one he needs, to be with him in 30, or 40, or 50 years…"
"No, shush…shush…stop talking, Temperance…" Hannah persuaded, in tears over watching Brennan's own blood pool the floor, and it only got ten times worse when she spoke, "stop talking, you're gonna make it,"
"Rationally speaking, I'm not…" Brennan reasoned. "Please, tell Booth that I…"
Before she got to the end of what she had to say, piercing sound of saws filled their ears. Moments later, light passed through, and a herd of people surrounded them.
"Arms up, Miss," One man said, directing his gaze to Hannah. She shook her head.
"You have to get her first, she's badly injured," she indicated.
"Yes, and it'll be much easier if we get you out first,"
Temperance gestured her to go on, and she did.
Three men helped her out of the wreck, her mind wandering somewhere else…
As if on cue, Booth came…
"Oh my God, Hannah. You're alright,"
Booth's arms wrapped around her, but she shrugged… "You need to get Temperance, she's down there,"
A look of surprise and fear, and concern washed over his face. "Bones? What is she…Oh God…"
Lightning fast, he sprang to his feet and made his way to the crowd. He saw his life flash before his eyes. The years spent with Bones, their cases…their drinks…the lunches at the diner…Thai food…their undercover missions…
He tore up, thinking of the worse.
"FBI! Out of the way!" He shouted, pushing aside whoever blocked him from getting to his partner.
But when he got there…it was all too late.
They already got her out…lifeless, covered in the pool of her own blood. The paramedics transported her in a gurney, and Booth ran along.
They say you'll know when the person you love is gone. Here she was, his partner…his best friend…the woman who loved her and whom he loved…yet, he knew…
She was gone.
A cold tingle went up his spine, as a cold breeze washed his face. "…that I love you," her faint voice whispered…and disappeared into thin air. A wet feeling remained on the corner of his cheek…
He continued running, and running…and running… "I'm so sorry Bones," a tear escaped his eye, "I am so sorry,"
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It's sad. I know.
Did you like it, though? I'd love to know how I am doing through your feedbacks. :)