AN: Hi guys! I wasn't going to begin posting this for another week or so but I wanted to spam you guys with some Careese :) This new story is an A/U for multiple reasons but you'll see as you read on. And as always this is full on Careese. This story is going to be sexy, fun...maybe with a smidge of humor, and a dab of intrigue. Something perfect the summer.
I dedicate this entire story to my friend Elaine! Thank you for everything and for listening to me whine about the show, about proofing my things, and giving me encouragement when I need it! I appreciate it all and appreciate your friendship you have given me XOX!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just love John Reese and Joss Carter.
March 2011
Joss rushed into The Bean. She was running late but needed her morning cup of Joe. She couldn't believe she almost slept in this morning. But she had gone to bed late thanks to that damn book that her friend and partner, Felicia Moreno, told her about. It was on the Best-Selling List which usually she found to be not of her taste but Felicia swore by this book. Joss reluctantly bought a copy and started it just after dinner and finally went to bed at nearly three in the morning because she had gotten so caught up in the novel. She had hung onto every word of the well written romance thriller. The author had woven a tale that left her spellbound, unable to put it down. Last night she become uncomfortably aroused during the erotic love scenes, reminding her just how long ago she had any man between her legs. Sex ended long before her marriage did and she had gone out with a handful of men since, but none she got naked with. The guys were far more into her than she was into them.
Joss sighed as she blinked a few times trying to work the stubborn sleepiness that resided gone. She stood in a lengthy line of the trendy and hipster coffee-shop which was the price everyone had to pay as The Bean had amazing coffee. As she stood waiting, an intoxicating scent of someone's cologne wrapped around her that mixed with the fresh brewed coffee aroma making her weak in the knees. Joss inhaled deeply: the cologne was spicy and profoundly masculine.
She looked at the man ahead of her. He was tall at least six feet or more and the pleasurable scent was coming off him. The tall man had a soft sweet V spot, making her fingers itch at once to touch the spot to see if the hair was as soft as it appeared. From the back view it appeared his dark hair was incredibly short, nearly military short but with a hint of rebelliousness. He was wearing a black wool long coat to combat the yet cool March air. He shifted in impatience.
"Long wait," she murmured, taking in another sweet inhalation of his cologne. It was like chocolate to her nose.
The man in front of her turned around and Joss nearly did a double take at him. This guy was simply gorgeous. Joss stared up into his deep set blue eyes that made her think of a clear sky or beautiful aquamarine gemstones but with more blue than green tones. They were framed with dark, long lashes that made her swear she could hear them swoosh as he blinked. Joss continued her embarrassing staring fest as she continued down to those cheekbones—good lord those were things of beauty. Sharp and high to go along with his strong jaw that was stubble roughened, like he forgot to shave this morning, to his lips that looked impossibly soft, softer than a rose petal, and warm. She shook herself as that thought crept into her mind. Softer than a rose petal?—Joss! Get a grip, that damn romance book you're reading is filling your brain with bad similes. His hair was sporting gray at the temples that just added to his allure. He was utterly handsome, virile, and distinguished. This man had sex appeal in spades and she couldn't help but stare to her heart's content.
"Yea, pretty soon I'll be running late," he agreed.
Joss wanted to close her eyes. He had a soft voice, a very masculine rumble. It was the type of voice you'd want on the other end for phone sex. Not only was this guy extremely easy to look at to go along with the fact that he smelled divine, but he also had an orgasmic voice. Her eyes flew down to his left hand and found no ring, not even a hint of a tan line around one from the summer past. No way was this guy available. There just was no way, this man had to be in a relationship or gay, and she didn't like either option.
"Me too." she responded. "Do you come here often?"
The man smiled revealing perfect white teeth and Joss felt her heart skip a beat at that gorgeous grin. "Are you trying to get an honest answer or is that your best pickup line?" he asked.
Joss returned the smile. "It's a bit of both," she answered. "But I have better pickup lines in my repertoire," she said as she flirted gently. God, this guy was hot with a capital H.
"I hope so."
She chuckled, enjoying herself. "I'm Joss by the way," she introduced herself.
Joss hadn't felt this sort of a vibe in a very long time. Okay, she could scratch gay off her short list of worries. There was no way in hell this type of insane attraction struck one person, so he felt it too. It was like their eyes were drawn towards one another's and it was not just because this man had the most beautiful eyes ever: they were piercing, heart-stopping blue, and utterly riveting. She couldn't drop his gaze if an earthquake suddenly shook the ground.
"I'm John," he murmured softly. John, it suited him, classic and masculine.
"Line's moving," a guy behind her gruffly told them, jostling them out of the spell that bound them. She welcomed the reprieve, John's eyes were so intense. He turned and moved up and so did she.
John turned back around. "I like their coffee but I don't like their lines," he murmured, finding he wanted to continue talking to the gorgeous and flirty woman some more. When he had turned around to see who spoke to him, he hadn't expected to feel an immediate attraction for the woman the voice belonged to.
This woman, 'Joss' as she introduced, had light makeup on but she didn't need much. She was drop dead gorgeous, the kind of beauty that have been depicted in myths since time begun. He'd seen beautiful women before but this woman's spoke to him which left him a little disconcerted. She had large brown eyes, full lips that looked perfect to kiss and an enticing smile. She was short in stature, possibly five foot four or so, having to upturn her face to him, made him think of how her petite frame would fit against his. Her dark caramel skin looked soft to the touch like silk, making him shake his head free of the thoughts sinking into his mind. Dark thoughts of having her under him naked and crying out his name filled his mind making him groan inwardly as it's been a very long time since he had a woman beneath him. He inhaled the sweet aroma coming from her, wondering what scent she was wearing.
Joss nodded. "It's why I try to avoid them but their coffee keeps me coming back for punishment," she admitted. And if she knew this man would be at The Bean she'd make it a daily occurrence at coming here. She'd put up long lines and rude people just to see him again.
"NEXT!" a woman called out.
John turned realizing the barista was calling for him; he turned to look back at the pretty woman. "You go ahead," he said, motioning for her to go ahead of him.
"Are you sure?" Joss asked hesitantly.
"Yea,"
She smiled as she said, "Thanks," before she stepped around him. Her scent filled his nose and he closed his eyes briefly savoring it before opening them to let his gaze drift down her petite body taking in the way her dark long wool coat accentuated her trim figure as she stepped up to the counter to order. He listened to her order two cups of coffee. She had a pretty voice to go along with her sexy features and voluptuous body that caused a stirring of male interest in him.
John was unsettled by the pull he felt towards this woman. He desired solitude; the woman he loved was in the ground. It was hard enough to get up every-day, not turn to the bottle of Jack, and learn to accept the fact that she was gone.
He patiently waited in line, contemplating, before the sexy black woman turned facing him fully again, a dazzling smile in place that left him a little breathless and annoyed that he was, and handing him a coffee.
"I figured you weren't the type into the lattes or anything fancy," Joss admitted as the barista shouted 'NEXT' once more.
John eyed her as he stepped out of line to let the man that was in a hurry go order. How the hell did she figure that out in one conversation with him?—it intrigued him, she interested him. He took the offered large cup slowly. Their fingers brushed and the spark her touch induced left him shaken. He didn't like the heat that suffused his body so he quickly stopped touching her, cleared his throat, and ignored the heightened awareness of just how beautiful this woman was.
"I'm not," he agreed, hastily recovering from his ill-advised reaction. He liked his coffee black or at times with a little milk.
"Neither am I really, I drink them here and there, but they aren't as satisfying as just good ole' coffee. I got you like I got mine with one cream, no sugar, hope it is okay," Joss murmured.
"It's fine." John mumbled quietly as they walked to the exit and he opened the door for her. As they walked the busy sidewalk together he reached into his back pocket to dig out his wallet to pay for the coffee. The Bean had great coffee but for a price.
Joss waved him off. "I don't want your money, or would your wife not like it if I bought you a coffee?" she asked coyly.
"I'm not married."
Joss pounced. "Girlfriend?"
"No," he admitted.
"Single then," she pushed, just wanting to make sure. She grinned as he looked a little unsure of himself as he nodded his head at her statement. She nearly danced at the fact that he was single, men like John would not stay on the market long. "Then let's just say you owe me a coffee sometime," she said with a flirty smile.
John eyed her. He didn't like owing anyone anything which included something so mundane as coffee. "I might never see you again." In fact that was a guarantee, he was leaving New York next week. He was only in New York for two weeks.
She stopped in front of him as she held out her coffee and he furrowed his brows as he took it from her at her silent command. She tugged out a pen out of a pocket and reached for his. He watched as she scribbled something on his cup before motioning for her cup back.
"Call me and we'll have coffee sometime when we both aren't running late," she suggested.
John eyed his cup and saw her phone number printed large and femininely on it before looking into her eyes. She turned after a moment, finally breaking their eye contact, and began walking away leaving him to watch her and wonder.
Joss was nervous as she stood in her bra and panties glaring at her closet. Finally her coffee-shop John, as she liked to think of him, called her after a week. He had been so cute, stuttering as he tried to ask her to coffee, that she almost just cut him off with saying yes, anytime, anyplace she'd have coffee with him. But she didn't because she didn't want to sound desperate to see him again, even if she was. John had surprised her when he asked if she wouldn't mind it being in the evening and she didn't. She didn't care if it was in the wee morning hours as long as it happened.
She raced through her closet feeling flustered and glanced at her cell phone debating on calling Felicia for advice. God, she was pathetic, she would never hear the end of the ribbing from Felicia if she called for advice on what to wear…to a coffee-date! But she was that nervous. She wanted to make a good first impression. She didn't want to overdress that screamed 'trying too hard' but underdress that she didn't get a real date out of him. And she wanted a real date with John.
Joss flip-flopped back and forth as she thought about it and ultimately settled on tight light blue skinny jeans that were dressy but yet simple, before pairing it with a nice long-sleeve purple tunic with a plunging neckline that gave a hint of cleavage but didn't allow her breasts to hang out. She added a dainty gold necklace with gold hoop earrings before rushing to the bathroom to slide a comb through her hair. She immediately did her makeup, applied her lipstick and smiled. She looked good if she said so herself.
Joss hurried back to her closet and grabbed her favorite pair of ankle leather boots before sitting on the edge of her bed to tug them on, once she was happy with her ensemble she turned and raced out of her bedroom and took her steps two at a time. She tried to ignore the nervous butterflies fluttering around in her stomach as she tugged her jacket on before locking up her place. Not any of her previous dates had the power to make her this nervous and this was just for damn coffee. She climbed into her car and tried to tell herself to chill out.
It didn't take her long to arrive at The Bean as it was a ten minute drive from her place and she glanced at her watch and frowned. She was here way too damn early. She was hopeless. Well she could enter and wait for him. John would never know she was this early. Joss exited her car and hurried into the busy The Bean even now in the evening and stopped short when she saw him seated at a small table. His eyes found hers and he smiled.
Joss smiled in return as she walked towards him and watched as he stood up to pull her chair out. She liked it, John was very much a gentleman. "You're as early as I am," she commented.
"Left a little too early," he admitted.
She tugged her jacket off, hanging it on the back of her chair before sitting down across from him, eyes on his. It was still there, that vibe between them, and it was just as overwhelming now as it had been a week ago. "Me too," she said softly. "I'll confess I am a bit nervous."
"Me too, what would you like?" he asked.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm going to go order us our coffees but I want to know what you would like," John answered.
"Oh, right, of course. Just a large coffee with one cream, no sugar," she said.
He smiled softly as he got up and Joss groaned inwardly as she got an eyeful of his butt, his extremely nice butt. Her eyes drifted over him appreciatively as he stood in line for their coffees. John was dressed in dress pants and a lavender dress shirt (that he looked amazing in) tucked into pants showing off an athletic body. John was tall, lean with strong hips, and all man. There was not an ounce of spare flesh on him, no middle age sag happening.
She would put John in his early to mid-forties, which was perfect. Joss had just turned 39 two weeks ago, her birthday was March 7th, and she was still alone since her failed marriage. And while Joss was comfortable being alone she wanted someone to share her time with. She had gone out with a couple guys but none of them did anything for her. Maybe John might be that someone, if he was more than just looks. She needed him to stimulate her brain as much as he did her body. And John stimulated her body without a problem. Seeing him that once in the coffee-shop fueled her fantasies; at first she tried to blame the erotic romance thriller she had been reading, where she plopped her and John into the hero and heroine roles. The love scenes had been intense and she figured her natural imagination had added John and herself into those. But the fantasies continued well after she finished the book, especially once in particular that had her waking drenched in sweat and aroused to the point of needing relief. She had taken the matter in her own hands. Joss shook herself free of the filthy thoughts that tried to grab a hold of her mind as she felt an uncomfortable tingle forming between her legs as she eyed John nearly unblinkingly.
Joss watched him as he was approaching her with coffees in hand. His hair was soft, without any hairspray to speak of, and it was short but long enough to slip your fingers through. He had a cowlick standing tall and proud and would never be tamed, thank god. Even his fingers were sexy as they were long and tapered as he carried the coffees. He bent and placed her coffee in front of her and she was wrapped in his cologne once more and she took a healthy inhalation and sighed. John smelled delicious.
He sat down, nervous. Joss had been watching him as he walked over with their coffees and he nearly faltered as surely someone as beautiful as Joss shouldn't be seated with him. But she was. And she was about as nervous as he was.
"So, Joss, what is it that you do?" he asked after a moment.
She nearly moaned out loud at the way her name rolled off his tongue. "I'm a homicide detective," she answered which seemed to surprise him. "Not what you were expecting, huh?"
"No," he agreed.
"What did you think I did John?" she asked as she slowly took a sip of the hot coffee.
He shrugged. "Honestly, I thought you were a lawyer." he admitted. She had been assertive and persuasive when she got him to agree to let her buy him coffee. But it shouldn't surprise him though that she was a detective; Joss had a keen observation as she had known he wasn't a fancy coffee drinking kind of guy. His eyes slid over her, taking in her small petite frame in that flattering low V-neck blouse, she definitely kept in shape too.
John looked away as he felt heat creep up his neck as he stared at her chest for far too long to be polite. She smiled, noticing the blush on his cheeks, and loved it. John was on the shy side which was intriguing since the man was the very definition of walking sex.
"Well had my life not taken a detour, I would have been." Joss admitted, refraining from commenting on his cute blush.
John nodded, interested. "You studied to be a lawyer?" he asked, she was fascinating.
"Passed the bar exam but it just wasn't my calling. I enrolled in the police academy and loved it, worked my ass off to get where I am today. I love being a cop; trying to help people, that sort of thing," she explained. She had been ready to ask him what it was that he did for a living but her curiosity was killing her as she eyed him. "John, I have to ask: are you former military?" she asked. It was the way he was sitting, the way his eyes scanned the room, his body was angled for the door as if watching for a threat.
John cocked his head to the side and smiled which took her breath away. She felt like her heart stopped at the sheer beauty of it. "I am. How did you know that, Joss?"
She chuckled. "Well, call it a hunch with the way you are sitting, angled for the door. You view the world like I do through war seen glasses. I'm former military myself," she said with a small motion at herself. "I was Warrant Officer before becoming a Human Intelligence Collector and a top interrogator."
"Which, being a top interrogator, would have made you an extremely good lawyer had you not gotten bitten by the police bug," John said faintly. His eyes slid over her. This woman was intelligent and beautiful along with the fact that she shared a lot of things in common with him.
"I served four tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. What about you?" she asked. So far John was exceeding all her expectations already and the coffee-date basically just started because not only was he good looking and he was intelligent AND he was former military like her. He was so interesting that she felt attracted to not only his body but his mind as well.
"Two long, four short. I enlisted at eighteen, started off as Army Ranger before rising up to Sergeant First Class and Second Battalion. I was at that rank for a while before I was selected to join Special Forces," he recited as he took a sip of his coffee.
"So you were a Green Beret," she murmured.
He smiled. "Yea, for a long time," he agreed, unassumingly.
"When did you quit the military?" she asked. This man sounded and looked career military, still sporting the short haircut, except that it was a hint longer than what they would have wanted, and made her wonder why he wasn't still military.
"I actually was about to get out before the towers came down but when 9/11 happened I knew my country still needed me." he said quietly. John often wondered what his life would have been like had he not re-upped after the towers came down. Would he be married to Jessica, have a family?
"I knew a lot of guys that reenlisted for the same reason. So when did you finally decide to call it quits?"
He took a sip of his coffee before answering. An ache was beginning to form as he recalled the end of his military career and finding out he had come too late for Jessica. "January of this year," he supplied softly, looking down at his cup as if it was suddenly interesting.
Joss eyed him abruptly. She saw some sort of emotion floating in his pretty blue eyes and she wasn't quite sure what it was. Was it sorrow because he left the military? "That's a long time." she admitted.
He shrugged as he looked up and his expressive eyes were veiled. "My country needed me," John said simply, almost robotic like that was the answer he always used even to himself.
She nodded she knew how this man felt. She loved being in the army until it was taken from her. But something about what he said struck her. She had dealt with several CIA agents in her hay-day on the other side during interrogations and more than a little surprised they didn't come knocking on this man's door.
"I'm shocked Langley didn't show up on your door with you being in Special Forces and all," she admitted. She knew most CIA agents were recruited from Special Forces because of the strict and difficult training they went through to prepare them for the Ops they would endure. She had no doubt that this man saw things and did things that she couldn't even imagine.
John smiled. "They did but I told them no. I felt like I could do more good in Special Forces, especially when they promoted me as Weapons Analyst to teach friendly allies and recruits behind enemy lines," he said with a shrug.
"So what ultimately made your decision to leave the military?—sounds like you enjoyed the Army,"she asked, so curious about this man.
"I did enjoy being in the Army. Sometimes it was taxing on you emotionally and physically but I wouldn't change a thing about it. I learned a lot of useful skills from the Army and learned a lot about myself too. But there comes a point in your life that if you stay a soldier any longer that's all you know how to do. There was a woman I wanted to get back too, a life I wanted to live outside of serving my country," he admitted. He couldn't believe he was opening up and talking to Joss more then he talked to anyone about himself.
"What happened with the girl?" Joss asked, wondering if this man had been married just like she had been and it turned to crap after he got back. It would be just one more thing they had in common.
"She was murdered," he said instead.
She gasped. "Oh my god, John, I am so sorry," she said immediately. She hadn't been expecting that at all.
He swallowed hard. Bringing up Jessica brought up bad memories. It was still fresh and had the power to wound him. John shrugged. "You didn't know."
"Did they catch the son of a bitch that killed her?"
John nodded slightly. "Yea, it was her husband."
"Oh," she said unable to hide her surprise.
"If you're thinking I was having an affair with a married woman I wasn't. Jessica and I were long over before she met and married Peter. And even though I ended our relationship I still loved her but it just wasn't fair to make her wait for me. A life with me, a soldier, wasn't the kind of life for Jessica; she deserved a man who could take care of her every-day, not one across the world from her. She used to hate when I'd be away at base for two weeks, so I knew when I reenlisted and was going to be deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan that she wouldn't be able to handle it," he said before sipping his coffee.
Joss nodded. "Some people are built to handle the long absences and what-ifs while others are not. You did what you thought best, John," she said softly, seeing a measure of guilt residing on his face. Joss didn't know this man well—yet, she was going to change that fact as soon as possible, her mind added. But what Joss did know was her instincts, which she trusted in implicitly as they never failed her and her instincts on John were that he was a good man who fought for his country with every ounce of his being, sacrificing everything for it.
John felt vaguely wary of the sharp and unblinking gaze he was receiving from Joss. It was as if she was analyzing him, using her keen detective's eye on him. He wasn't sure what she was scrutinizing him to find out about but he shifted a little.
"What happened to the husband?" she asked after a moment.
"In prison currently until his trial, he's up for second-degree murder, Peter accidentally killed her in a fit of rage but he tried to cover it up with making it appear like she died in a car accident. The investigators of New Rochelle saw some inconsistencies after her autopsy report was released. Jessica had a lot of previous injuries consistent with domestic abuse and she died of blunt force trauma to the head that didn't quite fit a head-on car collision with a tree that he was trying to sell," he recited the details of the case. Luckily Peter had already been in prison with bail set extremely high when he got back to New York or he would have killed him.
"He killed her, panicked and tried to cover it up," Joss said succinctly.
"Pretty much, I arrived back from my last tour mid-January and it was too late, she had already been murdered. She had sent me a letter telling me she needed me and I couldn't get there in time."
Joss shook her head. That was a rotten thing to do if you asked her. Write a letter to your ex, even if you were in love with him, who was in the Army and deployed, to ask him to come for you. If she needed help or was scared of Peter, she should had contacted someone in this country or gone to the police. Or one of those many groups that helped domestic abuse victims. Someone would have helped her. Seemed to her that Jessica just wanted John to drop everything and come to swoop in to save her (when she could have saved herself) and they could ride out into the sunset. In the end she was murdered and now John was left with the guilt of being unable to get to her in time. Of course, she couldn't and wouldn't say this to John, not this early she kind of wanted date number two.
"I'm sorry, John," she said finally.
He nodded. "What about you, why did you leave the army?" he asked gently steering the conversation away from him. He had no idea why he told her all that he just did. Jessica was a topic of conversation he generally did not go to.
"I was medically discharged after this Marine escorting me in Fallujah stepped on a land mine. We heard this click and that was it, guy was dust before my eyes. I was lucky since he was standing in front of me, he shielded me. I did get my innards kind of mangled up. Was in the hospital for months, was shipped home and took care of my baby." she said softly, leaving off the fact that she cried nightly for nearly a year over the death of the Marine.
"Baby?" he asked.
She smiled. "My greatest accomplishment and my pride and joy: my son."
He smiled in return. "You have a son."
"Yea, he's fourteen going on fifteen now, not a baby anymore but he's my baby. His name is Taylor," she said, happy to gush on her boy, before tugging out her cell phone to show him a picture of her and her son. She held it out for him.
"Looks like you," he murmured.
"Yea, I think so too. My ex-husband used to think Taylor looked more like him," she said, making perfectly clear he knew she was completely single, willing, and available.
This had to be the best date she ever had and it was only for coffee! Most times they were awkward and boring but with John it was filled with interesting and honest conversation. It helped they had a lot of things in common and the attraction between them was magnetic, definitely drawing them towards each other. She hadn't ever told any of her previous guys she dated, which she could count on one hand, about her son as she hadn't been sure if she wanted them to meet Taylor or not. But she damn well knew she wanted her boy to meet this man eventually.
He leaned back and she re-pocketed her phone. "He looks like a good kid," John murmured.
"He is. He has mostly decent friends and decent grades, but my boy is pure gold. Taylor is the best—not that I'm biased or anything," she said cheekily.
John laughed softly. "I'm sure most mothers are biased over their children," he said. He was curious about the way she spoke about her ex. "May I ask you something?"
"Of course you can, John." she said. How else were they supposed to get to know one another if they didn't ask questions. She knew she had about a gazillion questions for him.
"You mentioned your ex but the way you said it makes it sound like he's…"
"Dead," she provided when he hesitated to find the right word. He nodded and she shrugged before saying; "that's because he is," she answered.
"What happened?"
"Paul was military too, but he saw more combat than I did and he suffered from PTSD, allowed it to change him."
"I'm sorry. Buddies of mine had PTSD too. It's another kind of animal," he said softly, in compassion. Some of his team members suffered from it and John found himself lucky that he was so good at detaching himself from what he saw and did, learning how to compartmentalize things.
Joss nodded. "It is. It got really bad where I was scared for the well-being of my son and me, so I removed us from that situation by filing for separation, trying to spur Paul into seeking help. It didn't work," she said sadly. "Divorce followed and Paul quickly spun out of control. He was a good man but was just too damn proud to ask for help from me, from the VA, from anyone. He killed himself three years ago."
"I'm so sorry Joss," he murmured as she looked sad and like she was to blame for it. "It wasn't your fault."
She looked up and stared into his eyes, giving him a half smile. "I know and I wouldn't change what I did for my son's sake and mine too, but sometimes I wonder if I tried hard enough to try to reach him."
"Sometimes you can try your best and it's not enough. And what ifs can kill you," he admitted, speaking from experience. He thought about a lot of what-ifs with Jessica, as he slowly looked at his watch and was astonished at how late it was. Time flew by.
Her eyes tracked his and saw his surprised look. She followed suit looking at her own watch and was surprised too at the time, seeing they had been drinking coffee and talking for over an hour, it was close to eight o'clock. "Wow, it's that late," she said and now she understood the rumbling of her stomach. She was starving, having figured she'd go on this coffee-date then head off to get some food. Joss had not anticipated on being there for almost two hours, having figured it would be a half hour to forty-five minutes long. But even knowing it was coming to a close she didn't want it to end.
"Yea, I didn't realize the time," he mumbled as he slowly got to his feet.
Joss wistfully stood too. "Neither did I." She watched as he tugged on his coat and proceeded to do the same. They grabbed their long empty cups and flung them in the trash before heading out and she smiled as John opened the door for her. Such a gentleman as he walked her to her car which wasn't parked far from the entrance.
She paused beside her car as she turned to face John, leaning her head back to stare up into his beautiful face. He was smiling gently down at her. "I had a nice time, Joss," he honestly said.
"Me too, John," she reciprocated as she stared at him, feeling like she was locked in some crazy staring contest again. "Would you like to have dinner with me?—I'm hungry and we could order to go and eat at my place," she asked softly, wanting to extend the time she spent with this man.
John hesitated. "I would like to—"
"But," she supplied for him and when he didn't answer, she frowned. "Am I being too up front about asking you back to my place?" she wondered. Joss normally didn't ask men she barely knew back to her place, but for some reason, with John, he was an exception to the rule. She felt like she knew him, which was crazy since she didn't even know his last name or what he did for a living. But for some reason she knew deep inside her that he'd never hurt her. Joss glanced into his eyes, seeing he wasn't put off in the slightest. "Well I know for damn sure I'm not the only one that feels this intense attraction," she grinned. He would have an easier time convincing her pigs could fly or vampires were real before she believed him that he wasn't attracted to her. She recognized the looks he gave her which gave her a shiver of desire. She hadn't had a man look at her like that in a very long time.
"You're not. I am attracted to you Joss. You're beautiful, intelligent, funny, and interesting, everything a man could ask for in a woman."
"So what's wrong?" Joss asked genuinely puzzled.
He rubbed a hand through his hair. "If we have dinner at your place we'll end up in bed together," he blurted out.
"Oh,"
He couldn't blame her for her shock over his bluntness but he hadn't had sex in a year with being in Iraq, then learning of Jessica's death. The last woman he slept with knew the score that he only wanted a warm vagina for meaningless sex. And he wasn't lying about being attracted to Joss which was why he had been trying to delay asking her to coffee until the night before he left.
Joss felt her body respond to his words and wanted to ask what was wrong with that idea. God, what was she doing?—this wasn't her, she didn't contemplate having sex with a man she just met! Paul, it had taken nearly a month into their relationship before she got naked with him. And before Paul had been her high-school boyfriend who took her virginity and it took nearly six months of being together before she decided to give him it. Those were her only two relationships of any kind. She thought Cal Beecher was her one and only before they went their separate ways after high-school. Cal went to UCLA while she joined the army. Long distance relationships rarely worked and they weren't one of the lucky few that did. She and Cal ended their relationship when it was clear they were going in opposite directions. And then she met Paul, dated him for over a year before she got engaged and married to him, had a child with him and thought he was her soul mate until combat changed him into someone else completely. She never believed she would end up divorced and her ex-husband dead because he committed suicide. And she certainly never believed she would consider sex on the first date, but she had a feeling one night with John would blow away any encounter she ever had before.
Joss stood there staring at John for several moments before speaking. "I know this great Thai place just around the corner…."
If she had figured they'd end up in bed before eating dinner she would have been wrong. Because the atmosphere between them was thick and heady, but both of them were truly hungry and food came first. As did more conversation. But getting John to talk about himself was like trying to extract teeth; it just didn't want to come out. All her questions were met with one word answers or less, some he had outright ignored. Stubborn man! But it just intrigued and interested her more. Joss enjoyed a challenge and John was that and more.
She did most of the talking which was okay because she hid the fact that she was nervous with chatter. Joss told him about how she enjoyed being a detective even though at times she felt like she didn't do enough, which was met with opposition. John wasn't a man who shied away from confrontation both physical, when he was in the Army, and verbal because he had argued with her that what she did was more than what others did. She liked that he had his own mind and was willing to share it, regardless if she liked it or not.
She told him more about her son, about her friends and her family. He was interested in the photos on her mantle and asked for explanations of when those pictures were taken. Joss didn't realize until the food dwindled to nothing but empty containers and the wine glasses were nearly drained that she did all the talking and still he fascinated her so. She wanted to burrow inside him, get under his skin as much as he did to her and find out all his secrets, make him trust in her, and…well, she better not finish that line of thought. Because if she continued it, it would make her wonder how far gone she was for this guy already.
John set his wine glass down as he sat on her couch, looking at her with those thoughtful eyes of his and she felt her pulse begin to race. "You're nervous again, Joss," he commented, reading her like a book.
"A bit," she agreed, feeling stupid all of a sudden, because she had asked him back to her place for dinner even knowing what could happen, wanting it, and yet scared it would; scared because she knew intuitively that one night with John would change the rest of her life.
"Why?"
"I'm not entirely sure," she lied.
"Are you sure you don't know?"
"No…yes," she muttered and narrowed her eyes on the slow male smile filling his handsome face. "I meant yes!" she exclaimed with a bit more force than necessary.
"Sure you did."
"I did!" she insisted and then clenched her teeth together when she realized she was protesting too much that belied her words.
He took pity on her. "Joss, you can relax, I'm leaving," he reassured as he climbed to his feet.
She blinked. "You are?" she wondered with a mixture of sadness as she stood up too. "I thought you said…"
He shook his head. "You're not the type of woman that has one night stands and that's all this would be, Joss, all I can give you is one night. I leave New York tomorrow morning," he murmured. Joss stared at him as if he suddenly began speaking a foreign language. "I had a nice time," he said softly, genuinely, because he did have a nice time. But Joss, whether subconsciously or not, was looking for something he couldn't give her. He wasn't willing to move on from Jessica, at least not yet, and this woman in front of him deserved nothing less than all of someone.
Joss forced a smile. She had a nice time too until these last few minutes. She wanted to know more about him, understand him but the blasted man wasn't being cooperative. "Thank you for a lovely date tonight, John."
"It wasn't a date," he said instantly.
"Could have fooled me." she countered.
"I was just repaying the coffee you purchased me, Joss," he insisted.
"Are you sure?" she wondered knowingly and he narrowed his eyes on her. She smirked, having turned the tables on this man. "Okay answer me this, John. What do you call a man and a woman sharing their time together who are extremely attracted to one another?—I call it a date, but maybe you call it something else," she teased.
He opened his mouth to protest more but snapped it shut when he realized he had really nothing else to say other than: nu-uh, which sounded childish and would work for a boy of ten and not of a man of forty-one. John sighed as he gently shook his head as he peered down at her who was grinning happily at getting him.
"You're something else, Joss, not like many women I meet," he said admirably.
She chuckled. "I could say the same thing about you, John. You aren't at all like the usual men I meet," she agreed pensively, because this was it and she wasn't going to see him again. She looked up into his eyes. "Screw it," she muttered under her breath reaching up grabbing his cheeks and tugged him down for a kiss. If this was the last time she ever saw this man she at least wanted to kiss this man just once.
The moment their lips met she knew it was a mistake, a glorious amazing blunder. Joss groaned inwardly, she had been better off never knowing what his lips felt like because now knowing and never experiencing it again was going to be lifelong torture. At first he didn't kiss her back which was fine, she got to test his texture, and John had amazing texture; soft as suspected, warmer than imagined. Joss was about to pull back, ending the unwise kiss, and let him leave until he reached up cupping the back of her neck and kissed her.
She gasped in startled delight as his lips moved on hers with ease and talent. John was a very good kisser. Her arms found themselves around his neck, her body edged in closer so their chests whispered against one another's as she answered his questing mouth with hungry fierceness. Man, she didn't remember the last time she was kissed or kissed this well.
John groaned as alarm bells rung inside his mind before they were dulled by the sexual haze surrounding his brain the very moment Joss answered his hungry kiss with the same potent need. He swiped his tongue across the seam of her sensual lips, wanting more, and she moaned as she opened wide and he slipped his tongue inside immediately. His tongue slid across hers and it was like fireworks exploded behind his eyes, his burgeoning arousal stiffened painfully at the soft moan that escaped the back of her throat.
Joss sucked in a ragged breath as their mouths clung together, tongues dueling, as John's hands lifted into her hair as he fitted himself against her, and they fit perfectly. She rose up on tip-toes to get closer still, his forming erection pressing against her belly as she kissed him with equal passion as she let her hands slip from his neck sliding down and down to grab his butt.
He broke the kiss dragging in a ragged breath. "I'm sorry."
"For what?—kissing me, I kind of kissed you first, John."
John stood before her, still cupping his hands in her hair and he let his fingers massage her scalp while her hands were unconsciously kneading his ass. "Tell me to leave, Joss," he said, realizing he didn't have the actual strength to do it himself. He needed her to push him out, to tell him she didn't want this. "Please tell me you don't want me and to get the hell out," he begged.
"Stay," she purred.
He groaned. "That's not what you were supposed to say," he chided as his hands slowly slid from her hair and rested on her shoulders trying to push away but couldn't. What was it about her?
"John, I want you."
"That's worse," he complained mildly as his cock throbbed in time with her words. "You don't do this."
"No, I usually don't, but if you are only here for one night more in New York, I want tonight then. John, I'm tired of letting things pass me by. I don't feel this strong of chemistry with just any man, in fact you're the first, even my ex-husband didn't make me feel like this, like I have to have you, like you're a drug."
"Joss—" he started but she cut him off.
"You asked me to tell you to go but I can't, so if you truly don't want me, don't want tonight, then you leave yourself, don't put it on me," she mandated as she let go of his ass, reached up and tugged him down for another kiss. He helplessly let her.
John sucked in a ragged breath as her mouth captured his, probing, searching, and taking. He stood there, her palms pressed to his cheeks firmly like she was worried he was going to pull away. But he couldn't pull away if he wanted too. Joss's lips felt too damn good against his, he didn't recall the last time he had been kissed with this sort of passion or felt this sort of passion.
It was his turn to reach down and grab her butt tugging her forcefully against him and she moaned hotly as they were pressed flush together. He lifted her and she gasped as she broke the kiss as his mouth settled on her hammering pulse in her neck. "Oh god," she sighed as he settled between her legs intimately brushing her. He sucked on her neck as he pressed into her, her back resting against the wall of her living room.
John needed to reign himself in, put her down, and escape her front door. "Bedroom?" he demanded instead against her neck which seemed his body was in command and not his brain.
"Upstairs." she managed to get out as John's erection was pressing against her and she was shocked at the size of the bulge. Oh good lord.
He caught her mouth with his as he held her in his arms and she wrapped her legs around his hips as he carried her to her stairs. John easily went up the steps even with her in his arms and desperately kissing her feverishly. She ended the kiss to suck at his neck, letting her tongue flit down the column of his neck before she tugged his collar aside a bit to suckle at the area where his neck met his shoulder blade. He shivered at the contact.
John found her bedroom on his own as she sucked at his neck. He set her on her feet and pushed away a bit as sanity came back. He stepped back and rubbed a hand through his hair shakily. Her hair was mussed from his hands, her lips swollen, and he could see her nipples through her shirt. She was aroused as much as he was.
"Condoms." he said desperately. He didn't have any.
She blinked and smiled. "Pill and I trust you to be clean."
"Why?—I could be a ladies man and have every STD known to mankind," he pointed out. She snorted. "And what is with that snort, I could," he demanded.
"Yea, okay, ladies men don't stutter when they try to ask a woman to coffee and they sure the hell don't blush when they are caught staring at a woman's breasts. I think it's safe to assume you aren't a ladies man, John." she spoke with a laugh. "Unless you don't believe I'm clean."
"You're clean," he said assuredly.
She smiled and reached out cupping him through his pants and he sighed at the brazen touch. "I want you, John," she whispered and they were the magic words because he kissed her again, pushing her towards her bed, reaching down and tugging at the hem of her long purple shirt up. She lifted her arms and broke the kiss to help tug it over her head. He palmed her breasts that were encased in a white satin bra. She hissed in pleasure as he pulled the cups down so there was no fabric in his way. He thumbed her puckered nipples.
He grabbed them roughly, earning a throaty gasp and he tongued one nipple and she squirmed and he tightened his hold on her breasts ensuring she stay put. Joss shifted in front of him as her hands rested on his shoulders, she moaned as he washed his tongue across her nipple lavishing it with attention. Smirking at her curse as she wanted him to suckle, but he was in the mood to tease her first as he continued to thrum the other one with his index and thumb that awaited his mouth's attention. He decided to take pity on her as he opened his mouth and took as much of her breast into his mouth as he could.
Joss moaned as her knees grew weak with his mouth playing with her breast. His hand was tweaking and pinching her other nipple that felt neglected. His mouth sucked thoroughly at her breast and she couldn't pull back even if she wanted too. John had a firm grasp of her breasts tight enough to keep her in place but not to hurt her. She was forced to stay upright and each draw of his mouth on her nipple sent a new shiver cascading down into her stomach before lodging itself between her legs. She felt uncomfortably wet.
John finally released her breast from his mouth that was wet from his attention before he kissed his way to the other breast waiting for him.
"John," she breathed in need.
He smiled as her as he pulled back and lifted her and deposited her onto the bed gently. He climbed on top of her and proceeded to go back to the same breast he had just finished lavishing attention to, to tease her by leaving the other still neglected. She groaned in agony as her breasts tingled; one in need of his mouth and the other from having his mouth on it. He sucked hard and she cried out as he relaxed the intensity the moment before it became too much. She sighed as he drew on it softly then, knowing just when and how she wanted it.
He pulled his head back and kissed her sternum before moving to the poor neglected breast. John smiled down at her flushed face as he rested between her legs snugly and intimately. He reached around her and undid the clasp to her bra and flung it off her bed uselessly. John lowered his head and playfully circled the areola knowing what she truly wanted. He held her breast up for his mouth while he slid his other hand up and down her ribcage finding a large scar that had to be from the land mine she told him about.
Joss squirmed and her hands grabbed his head and tried to shove him to her nipple and he chuckled. "Is there something you want?"
"John, I…" she was having trouble verbalizing any thought.
He gave her what she wanted anyway as he licked her nipple warmly. Her hips jerked up and he hissed in pleasure as their groins rubbed sensually together. John latched onto her breast and sucked hard, before using his teeth and tugged on the hard pebbled nipple. Joss moaned in answer as he bit on her nipple tugging with just enough pressure that it would give her a tiny pinprick of pain before he soothed it away with his tongue. He swirled the nipple around with his tongue with abandon and she was squirming under him and he wondered if she was close to an orgasm just from his attention to her breasts. He pushed his hips down harder onto hers, resting his rock hard erection against her intimately, feeling the heat ebbing from between her legs. He could picture how wet and ready she was, how easy it would be to bury himself deep inside her and his cock jerked in response.
John leaned his head back and eyed her before he began rhythmically moving his hips and she gasped. Her hands slid down from his shoulders grabbing at his hips. "John…."
He thrust down into her and wished there were no clothes in their way. But he liked her soft hitch of her breath as he rubbed against her. "Feel what you do to me, Joss," he whispered. Joss hissed in pleasure because his erection throbbed beneath his confines and she needed less clothing between them. "Come just like this, Joss."
Was he out of his mind?—but he sped up his hips rubbing against her sinfully even with their clothes on. She gasped as he leaned down wrapping his arms around her. His shirt and the buttons of that lavender shirt were rubbing her chest, her tender nipples, and it was creating different sensations. John was fully clothed and she was on the verge of coming. Her legs wrapped around his hips as her hips lifted to meet his more fully. John pushed back and sucked on her breast, she tilted her head back as she climaxed calling his name out.
He felt her shudder as she came and pictured the way her spasms rocked across his dick if he had been inside her when she came. He pushed back and she stared at him wide-eyed as he tugged her shoes off in desperate haste to get between her legs. She was nothing like he imagined. He wanted to taste her, make her scream his name. He wanted to fuck her all night. She made him wish he wasn't leaving New York. John undid her jeans and pulled the tight pants and her unwanted panties down her legs leaving her fully naked under him.
He shook as he eyed perfection. "So amazing." he muttered as he leaned over her and kissed her mouth warmly, before dragging his tongue down her chin, down her neck. He pressed soft kisses to her chest but bypassed her, now had to be, aching breasts. He ran a finger across the large scar crossing her abdomen. "Land mine?" he asked as he looked up and so she was dazed with desire.
"Yea," she answered shortly.
The way he was rubbing it made it feel like it was just another beautiful extension of her. She hissed out in shocked pleasure as she felt his tongue trace every jagged length. The scar was ugly but with John it felt different. She squeezed her eyes tight unwilling to cry. And as if he sensed how she was feeling he moved on to her belly button, then pressed a warm kiss to the C-section scar she had.
He leaned back. "Where did you get this one?"
She panted a bit. "C-section," she managed.
He smiled brightly at her before resuming his thorough exploration of her body with his tongue. John pressed a soft fervent kiss to the apex of her thighs, shooting pleasurable waves of need throughout her body. He parted her thighs, inhaling her strong scent of arousal and moaned harshly as he eyed her beauty laid bare to him. And she was his. Joss shivered and fought the surging self-consciousness as John was staring between her legs and not doing much else.
Need was building to a rising inferno. "John, I-I need…"
He didn't say a word as he pressed a sweet butterfly kiss against her that stopped her from speaking. He smiled as she moaned and her legs instinctively went to close. John chuckled when she couldn't accomplish it since his head was between her legs. He rested his left hand in her private hair and the other held her creamy thigh. He spread her for him and he licked her up and down, exploring her sex with his tongue. She cried out and he wondered if Joss ever had anyone do this to her. Well, she was in for a treat because he was told by women he did oral sex extremely well.
Joss didn't realize what she was missing out on with oral sex until John's mouth was between her legs and doing things no man has ever done. Cal and she had sex a few times but nothing wowing. Paul wasn't one for oral; receiving or giving, they had a very predictable sex life though to be fair the idea of having Paul's mouth on her hadn't been desired. But John…her hips rolled seeking his mouth for more.
John continued the teasing until he had her comfortable. He knew the moment she was when her legs spread wider open for him, heels of her feet pressed tightly against the mattress, lifting to follow his mouth, and her hands in his hair pulling him close rather than trying to push him away.
He latched his lips onto her clit and gently sucked for a moment before he slid his tongue down to her entrance lapping up her wetness before he let his tongue slip between her inner lips.
Joss gasped in surprise as John's tip of his tongue slid inside her just a bit. He grinned as he slid back up and drew her clitoris back into his mouth and sucked her rhythmically with light pressure and Joss keened out a wild half-cry, half-scream of ecstasy. He smiled as she was close, her fingers digging into his scalp and he sat back and licked his lips delaying her orgasm.
"You okay, Joss?"
Joss struggled to speak, to breathe. "God, what are you doing to me?" she whispered as her sex throbbed for him to finish what he started. She wanted his mouth back on her now.
"Loving you the way you deserve," he said fiercely. The fact that Joss never had a man go down on her was ludicrous to him. The men before him were stupid he decided because Joss's taste was like fine honey.
He watched as her breathing slowed and her body relaxed a little, telling him she wasn't on the verge of coming apart. Good, this time he was going to take her to the edge and beyond. John pressed a biting kiss to her thigh which had her jumping before he rested a heavy hand on her stomach, and buried his mouth between her legs, settling back onto her swollen nub of desire quick and sure.
She cried out in unexpected surprise as he just went back to it without another word, she arched her back and writhed in need. Her hands lifted from his hair as she reached above her head grabbing her pillows as her hips jerked up and he held her tight, sucking on her so hard, her lips parted as she cried his name feeling her orgasm rushing her center. His lips, tongue, and teeth were drawing her to the edge and she had no hope of stopping.
The climax stormed her without warning and Joss saw stars, no, explosions as it burst through her as she writhed and twisted to get away from the torturous mouth buried in her pussy as she came with a shout of his name. It kept going and going, her screams echoing through the otherwise quiet room as he sucked on her pushing her onward. Her screams of ecstasy finally died as her body collapsed onto the bed when the final wave of pleasure ebbed away. Joss gasped in strangled breath. Damn. Double damn, that was nothing that she had been prepared for. She had orgasms before but none like that.
John reluctantly pressed one last kiss to her before wiping his mouth free of her nectar, sliding free from between her legs, sliding up and kissing her passionately. His tongue speared her mouth letting her taste herself and he loved the cute little gasp she let out. Her body still was quivering with aftershocks from her orgasm.
He pulled free of the kiss and she began undoing his shirt. He was still fully clothed. She needed him undressed NOW. John sat back and she sat up as they both worked to undo his shirt. She tugged it free of his pants when they got to the last button. John shrugged it off before he tugged his undershirt off too. Joss leaned forward and kissed his chest. His body was riddled with muscles, soft fine hair, and several scars. She got to her knees and tongued the length of a few of his scars wanting to know where and when he got them. But she wasn't going to ask because at this moment of time, words weren't needed. She needed John naked. Joss pushed him onto his back his head resting at the foot of her bed and she leaned over his body and ran her tongue and pressed her lips against his chest, abdomen and smiled when his stomach muscles bunched from the touch. She tongued his navel, letting her tongue dance across his waist, her chin bumping the belt buckle. His erection was pressing against her lower neck and chest.
She sat back and it was her turn to swiftly remove him of his shoes and socks. God, even his feet were sexy and big. And if Felicia was here she would tell her that must mean John had a dick the size of Texas. Judging by the bulge in his pants, Felicia would be correct and Joss was anxious to find out.
Joss ran her hands up his thighs and pressed her hand against his manhood that tented his pants upward. "All mine," she drawled huskily. She deftly undid his belt and fly before tugging his pants and underwear down in one fluid motion. She blinked then smiled. Felicia was so damn right. John's penis was long, thick, and powerful looking. Veins bulged and he was slightly reddish in color and she reached out and grabbed him in awe of it. He throbbed in her hand. She liked holding his manhood in her hand, feeling the power radiate off of him, knowing how much pleasure he was going to bring her.
He growled in the back of his throat as her hand rubbed his cock. Her thumb rubbing across the slit before he shivered in need as she began stroking him gently, he groaned as her other hand cupped his balls. "Perfect," she breathed as she grabbed a firm hold on him as she straddled him. His eyes were closed and his breath hitched as he felt wet heat on his tip. His eyes snapped open as she was about to draw him inside her.
He grabbed her hips and easily pushed her onto her back climbing on top of her. John hissed in pleasure as he rubbed his tip against her wet entrance. She scored his back with her nails. "Please, John…."
"Be sure, Joss," he begged. It would be hell on him but he'd stop if she told him.
"I want it John, please, I want you inside me."
He thrust into her hard, burying himself deep within her, and gasped at how she felt. He held himself still just for a moment to let her adjust to his length and size before he drew back and heard her emit a low moan of protest before he thrust back deep inside her and she sighed in happiness. John tried to keep a slow steady pace but she felt so damn good. He tilted her hips to change the angle and she cried out as she clutched her nails into his shoulders. Her heels dug into the mattress meeting him thrust for thrust.
Joss knew no one would compare, he ruined her and she wanted it. Never wanted it to end but the sweet aching tension tightening in her loins was coiling tighter getting ready to snap. Their eyes met and again they were unable to drop each other's gaze, which heightened their mutual need.
He moved faster, hips bucking against hers as his own climax was building to a crescendo, and she was meeting his frenzied thrusts hurriedly. Her soft mewling sounds spurred him on, knowing she was almost there. She flung her head back as she screamed his name, her entire body convulsed under his, her sex squeezing his, sucking on him drawing his orgasm free of the tight grasp his control had on it. He called out her name in answer as he thrust into her heat coming hard as he snapped his eyes closed to hide from the intimacy as she watched him. He held her hips still tightly as he kept himself buried deep inside her as she took everything he had and then after several moments he slumped on top of her.
For a while he laid on her, crushing her with his weight but she didn't mind. She welcomed it. Wanted it, and she also didn't want this night to end. Their ragged pants slowly diminished and their sweaty overheated bodies cooled.
John lifted his head. "I'm squashing you," he murmured apologetically.
She tightened her hold unwilling to let him go. "You're fine for now." she said instead, not ready for him to slide free of her. She liked the feel of them still joined, even with his softening cock.
His eyes searched hers. "I should go."
"I was hoping for another go around."
He stared at her. "Do you really think that's a good idea?—I leave in the morning, Joss. This is all I have to give." Unfortunately. For the first time since he learned of Jessica's death it wasn't the first thought in his head.
Joss wanted to call him a liar, from what she could understand he was hung up on a ghost, afraid of getting hurt again. "I want this night, John, if that's all you can give then it's what I will take."
He captured her mouth with his and she felt his cock stirring inside her and she decided she was going to enjoy this night and cry when morning came and this man disappeared from her life.
AN: Well, there's that. No hints, no clues for you guys to go on...I'm going to be mysterious. Although I am naming the chapters this time because it seems fun. So you might be able to glean a clue from those:
Chapter One: Gifts
See a tiny hint at what's to come :) Thanks for reading!