I don't own Downton Abbey or any Characters from it. I just had an idea and made me wonder why nobody thought about it before. I just played a little with them. Please don't be too hard on me I'm new, and English is not my first language. Hope you will like it. Let me know what you think.

20. January 1925

Elsie was feeling so light headed as she walked through the kitchen. She was engaged to Charles Carson. He finally proposed after all that years. They still had to announce it to the others, but could she be that lucky?

The guilt was spreading now in her, that she was still keeping the biggest of all secret to herself. So happy just a wink ago, Elsie's smile fell by the thought of it. The housekeeper tried to tell him so many times since she excepted his proposal, but always when she considered to speak it out, Elsie's fear to lose him over it was stopping her. Mr. Carson would never forgive her that. From that she was certain. She knew Charles now so many years; he wouldn't understand it. He would think lesser of her. Maybe even despise her for it.

"Why are you looking so upset ? Was another maid giving in her notices?", Mrs. Patmore asked suddenly and forced Elsie out of her thoughts. The housekeeper jumped at the sudden impact.

"God heavens, you gave me almost a heart attack.", Elsie replied.

"I am sorry, but it isn't normal for you to be absent-minded. You are acting strange since the Christmas party. In one minute you beaming from head to toe, smiling like a goof and in another your looking as if someone died.", Mrs. Patmore scoffed at her.

Elsie smiled at her friend. She was noticing everything. The housekeeper didn't want to tell her yet that Mr. Carson had proposed to her, so Elsie did what she could best, showing part of it.

"Nobody died it isn't that bad. I am just a little upset that Mr. Branson and Miss Sybbie had left for Boston. I was hoping he would over think his moving plans. The house feels so much colder now, then before without Miss Sybbie running around the tables in the servant's hall. I miss them already.", Elsie answered still with a light, friendly smile on her lips.

"Don't worry about the running part; Master George is already as wild as Miss Sybbie. But I know your meaning. It's different without them here. They made the place somehow warmer. I definitely will miss his charming smile...", Mrs. Patmore answered and stepped a little closer to her friend to whisper: "Now that he is gone, I may confess to you, that he made me a little uneasy with it. I fancied him a little, you know. He surely is a handsome man. No wonder Lady Sybil fell for him."

Elsie couldn't hold her laugh by the thought on Mrs. Patmore and Mr. Branson together, anymore. Mrs. Patmore started laughing, too. "Can you imagine what Mr. Carson would have said if I had run off with him instead of Lady Sybil.", Mrs. Patmore said still with tears of laughter in her eyes.

"He would have taken it much easier as with Lady Sybil, that's for sure, but I think he would have fainted anyway.", Mrs. Hughes giggled as an answer.

Suddenly, Daisy rushed around the corner with two big empty Potts in her hands. Busy in her work duty, she wouldn't have noticed the two laughing women if they hadn't lost it.

"What is the matter?", Daisy asked confused. A little embarrassed about being caught, Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore fixed their livery at the same time and were trying to put on a serious face of professional.

"Nothing out of the orderly. We should get on with our work!" Mrs. Hughes replied and walked away in direction to her sitting room. Still confused about it, Daisy walked to the stove and tried to ignore it. She would ask Mrs. Patmore later about was running until dinner, and she had not even started yet.

Elsie falls back to her glumly thoughts, as she sat down on her chair opening the drawer on her desk. Glancing back to the door to secure she shut it probably, Elsie pulled out an old envelope. It lay in the drawer now so many years it was showing by now. So many times she had opened and closed it again it was almost falling apart. Elsie had to tell him. Otherwise, she couldn't marry him. Even if he decided to break the engagement off it wouldn't be right for her to keep a major secret like that.

The cracking sound of the door filled the room as Mr. Carson tried to pushed himself into it. She should have put the envelope as quickly as possible back, but instead, she just remains in her chair. Now was the time.

"Are you busy Mrs. Hughes?" , Mr. Carson asked with bumming voice. He sounded happy. Not for long, Elsie thought.

"No, come in! I have to talk to you anyway.", Elsie answered. Her sad tone made Charles worried, but he wouldn't show her that, as he sat down next to her on the empty chair.

Elsie's heart began beating so loudly and fast she was afraid he could hear it.

"What is the matter? I hope you weren't over thinking our engagement!?", Charles asked now anyway in a worried tone. Forgotten about his thought, not wanting to show weakness. His Eyes turned in the same sad expression as to match her own. It was breaking her heart. She couldn't back down again.

"I don't want to break off the engagement, don't worry about that! The question is if you still want to marry me if I tell you the truth. There is something I haven't said about me.", Elsie answered bravely. Charles didn't know how to respond. What secret hasn't she told him now. It wasn't new to him that his Elsie was a woman with many secrets. He remembered a similar situation as she had told him about her sister. She had made it sound worse as it was. That made him hope that this new secret was just something she worried because of her good heart.

"Then may you tell me? I'm sure it won't change my mind!", tried Mr. Carson to convince her.

He was always thinking so highly about her it would destroy his picture about her completely.

"Very well, how to start?", Elsie questions herself.

"Long ago, as I was still very young, I fell in love with someone back in Scotland. We meet in a secret club for mathematics and physics, in which I had a high interest in, at this times. Of course, usually women were not allowed in the club, but the owner had discovered my ability to arrange large numbers together in just under a second and invited me to it. Under normal circumstances we would have never truly meet, that's for sure. You would have been shocked because the class divide didn't count on it at all. High ranked aristocrats were freely talking with lowly class farmers. The outside world didn't count in it because intelligence does not come in classes. This club was our secret world of numbers. When we would meet in the outside world, we would pretend not to know each other." Elsie stopped for a second to study Mr. Carson's face. He still looked worried at her.

"You trying to tell me that you had a romance before me? That's surely nothing to worry! We are not the youngest anymore, and I told you all about Alice.", Said Mr. Carson more to convince himself that there was no more behind it. She evidently just wants to get even with telling him all about her love before knowing him. "Nothing to worry about Charles," he said to himself in his head, but the uneasiness remained.

Mrs. Hughes heart was getting heavier.

"You're wrong if you think that was it already. It's by means far more than that. In a short time, I had my circle of friends. We had all something in common. We wanted another life as our parents had planned for us. There was Keith who wanted to be an inventor, but his father planned for him to take over his tenancy. He was a brilliant lad. I guess I have to thank him for not being afraid of new machinery like toasters and refrigerator.", Elsie joked to Charles to lighten the mood.

"...and there was Thomas, his father had planned his entire life, not just what he should become. He was engaged since childhood to a woman he had never met. You probably guessed already. He was a son of an earl, so his future was all for duty. Keith and Thomas meet at an expo in Paris 1881 and were since then best friends. That was what bothers Thomas the most. That his only true friend was a lowly class, Irish, farmers boy who he shouldn't see with since his father was the leader of the house of Lords of Dublin. That's why they were in Scotland. The family had an estate who had come with his mother and were never in use. That's where our club was held. We three became close friends. Keith was not so often in Scotland since he had a wife and children in Ireland. So Thomas and I were spending a lot of time together. Of course never alone. We were always in the club surrounded by other people. I had fallen for him, and it seemed he had fallen for me too. We were so lost in our world, that we had forgotten all about what differs us and so, one day he had asked me to marry him.", Elsie was getting tears in her eyes. She tried to be strong, but the memory of what will following the story was already saddening her. Mr. Carson was still watching her. He tried to swallow the part that Mrs. Hughes had got a marriage proposal from an Earls, son and replaced it with just another man who had fancied her. Charles could understand, Elsie was still a beautiful woman so he could imagine how stunning she must have been as a young woman. The fact that Elsie was sitting in front of her eased him a little that she not had could break the highest rule for him, to elope with a high born aristocrat like someone else he knew.

"Of course it is a little disappointing that you were not much better as our Mr. Branson, but at least you came to your senses before making a mistake.", Charles said to Elsie with a soft voice. He couldn't see her crying. It was breaking his heart to see the little tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You're wrong with that.", she answered sobbing. "I expected his proposal. He said he didn't care about his duty. His life belongs to him, and he will not be forced into something he didn't want. We got secretly married, we thought if we wanted to stay together we had to do it behind our families backs. We would have remained in Scotland together and growing old together, that was what we told us."

Mr. Carson couldn't move. He was in total shock. She married him! That was impossible. That didn't sound at all after Mrs. Hughes. He wanted to leave the room. The walls were coming claustrophobic close, but instead, he heard how words left his mouth.

"What happened?", Mr. Carson asked stiffly in his chair. Charles didn't want to hear it, but he was curious.

Another sob left Elsie's throat, but she couldn't look at him. Holding her gaze to the envelope she still was holding in her hand, the housekeeper continued:

"His family found out after a few weeks, of course, and forced us to meet. We thought we were safe because we were already married. Oh boy, were we wrong? For his father, our marriage didn't count at all. He was not giving up his plans. The union he had planned with the other family, had to remain. Power and land were all that mattered to him, and he would not lose it because of his son's choice. So he forced us to annul the marriage. It was too late for an annulment since we already performed the deed...", Mr. Carson shifted in his seat. Did he hear this right?

"...but since he had high influence in the parliament, he was getting thru with it. Divorce was no option.", Elsie continued.

swallowed hard. His Elsie had already been married! Could he forgive her that? eyes were still fixed on the envelope. It was shocking but as bad as that sounded, the fact remains that his Elsie was still sitting next to him and was not living in a big house as a Countess. She had a troubling past, but so had he. He had not been married before of course, but he was a man of age after all. It would have been a lie if he said he had never lain with a woman before. He apparently could forgive her that.

"I thank you for telling me, but as hard as it is for me to forgive you, it would be far harder for me to live without you.", Mr. Carson said to her softly to dry her tears over it.

Mrs. Hughes looked up to meet his eyes. Her tears remain, and so she choked the word's out.

"That was not all of it!" Charles tried to swallow, but it dried out in his throat. What could possible following after that? That was already bad enough.

Elsie opened the envelope, pulled out an old photograph and showed it to him. In the picture was a happy smiling little boy, sitting on the ground with ripped trousers on in what looked like an opening field.

"That is my son!", Elsie said with a broken voice. Mr. Carson was speechless. He took the photograph in his hand to study it. The boy could have been not older as five he guessed.

"I don't know what to say!", Mr. Carson stated in a low, sad voice. His eyes were getting watery too by now, so he swallowed it. He could not start sobbing in front of her. Charles Ernest Carson's world was beginning to shatter, and he couldn't stop it from happening. He was so full of happiness, this three week their engagement was lasting. Now everything was breaking into pieces in an amount of time. Mrs. Hughes has a son!

"What happened to him?", he did not know why he was asking.

"I was already pregnant as they forced us to the annulment. That's where I was getting really in danger. Thomas said we could not tell his family. He didn't trust them and was sure they would harm our child and me. Because, if it were a boy he would be the legal heir. His father and the family from the girl he was engaged with, were fighting with everything possible to prevent that their plan was falling apart. Thomas was more and more pushed back on their side. He gave up on us. I own my life to his fiancée. She was much younger as me, almost still a child. Her older sister was deciding with cruelty over everything for her. Since her sister was unable to carry any children, it was to her to fulfill the family duty. She was a kind soul. I wouldn't be here today without her help. It was her idea to let adopted the child after it was born and secured for my safety. Keith and his wife adopted him. They had already four children on their own, so it was no bother to them. Thomas promised me he would look after him from time to time since Keith and he came both from the same county. It broke my heart to leave my child behind, but I know it was for the best. I couldn't have provided for him. That's why I was so eager to help Ethel. It reminded me of myself. Even the fact that I was married to the father would not have prevented me from living a miserable life. So I was getting a new start and came to Downton.", she answered him.

"Did you ever see your son again?", Charles asked. He couldn't stop doing it. Mr. Carson wanted so badly to storm out and disappear somewhere to hide from everything. Stop asking questions Charles he reminded himself. Mrs. Hughes stared in wonder at him, did he didn`t mind? Or did he just try not to let fall his guards down? Elsie smiled at his questions.

"Yes, I have seen him again, but I'm sure he doesn't know who I am. It is alright for me. At least I know he is happy. Well, I hope so anyway."

Mr. Carson stared at the photography. The boy seemed to look familiar, had he seen him already, too? He was almost sure that he knows, but it couldn't be, or could it? The thought about it was too strange, but he had to be sure.

"Is there any possibility that I know him already?", Charlie asked and lifted one eyebrow in curiosity. Elsie signed. "Yes you do know him!", she admitted.

"Please tell me it isn't true! You are messing with me! If you say now that Mr. Branson is your son I am storming out of here.", Mr. Carson raised his voice.

"I told you, you wouldn't like it. I am so sorry to have disappointed you, and I understand if you want to break off our engagement! Don't worry about it I save you the time to storm out; I have work to do anyway."

With that, she studs up and left a baffled Mr. Carson behind. The picture of little Tom remained in his hand.