Glitter and Office Parties
Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece
Summary: Glitter, office parties, and alcohol don't mix well for Izumo and Kotetsu
Author's Note: Written for SlashSeeker. Possible out-of characterness
Constructive Criticism is always welcomed
Published: 24 December 2008
Rating: T
"Hey, where's the punch?"
"Nuts to the punch, who keeps taking the staplers out of the safe? Don't they remember what happed at the last party?" Izumo gathered up the offending items and stuffed them back with the three-holed punches, paper clips, and ink toner.
"It kept the genins busy."
"But life sucked."
"Well, yes," Kotetsu conceded. "But it was entertaining at the time!"
"Not good enough. I'm not going to be subject to that again if I can help it. Anyhow, don't you remember what that did our together time when we let them have free reign last time?"
Kotetsu shuddered. "Three months is WAY too long a time to go without gettin' any!"
"Then you agree that this is for the best." Izumo wrestled the door shut and listened to the lock engage. The safe wouldn't deter anyone who was really trying, but he had a few nasty little surprises to…'encourage' them not even bother.
"Now can we go find out what happened to the punch?"
"Let's ask Iruka. It might be good to know whether it should be something we should avoid or not."
"Man, I didn't even think of that! Good idea. Hey, Iruka!"
xXxXxXxXxXx
"An'…an' den, we kreeped in, all quiet like—"
"—Like a fisch—"
"Yeah! Lik' a—a fissch!" Aoba giggled drunkenly as he waved his hands around. "An' den I…I turnta Tonbo—"
"CONGA LINE!" Anko screamed, pouncing on Ibiki, forcing him to move as more drunken ninjas ran up to join the line.
Izumo ducked and caught Kotetsu's shoulders, enjoying the stumbling and trying to find a rhythm with a bunch of drunken ninjas who were also trying to find a rhythm. It couldn't last and it didn't; the entire line collapsed in on itself and chaos reigned as people tried to sort themselves out. Izumo was pretty sure he saw a few henges drop for a moment.
He debated outing the interlopers—after all, half the fun of these office parties was kicking out all the people who didn't belong—but then Kotetsu draped himself over Izumo's shoulders and he decided he'd wait on the chase scene.
Especially since his boyfriend seemed to be a little frisky at the moment.
They barely made it to the broom closet before Kotetsu's hands were no longer in a child-safe zone. Izumo kicked the door shut and pushed the other chunin up against one of the shelves as he set to work on making their kisses as messy and enjoyable as possible.
Kotetsu tried to flip them around, but in his less-then-sober state, he ended up with his foot in a bucket, the mop attacking them both, and the box of glitter that Iruka had hidden on the top shelf to keep away from the jounins fell on them and exploded.
"Damn it!" Kotetsu swore, wresting with the mop and trying to keep glitter out of his eyes.
Izumo tried to help with the glitter, but since glitter was an evil creation, he couldn't do much. Every time he moved, more glitter would get into more places.
Kotetsu finally managed to throw the bucket and mop into the corner. "There's one way to ruin the mood," he slurred a bit crossly.
"We can't go out like this." Izumo held out his arm. "Everyone even remotely higher ranking than us is going to attack us."
"…Jutsu?" Kotetsu finally offered weakly.
"I've had too much to drink to perform the jutsu safely; you?"
"Same. Damn it." He picked at a clump of glitter. "I don't want to have to stay in here for the rest of the night."
"We could wait until they chase off the intruders and sneak out then." Izumo offered.
"We're gonna hafta. Can you imagine what will happen to us if Genma-san sees us?"
"Or worse—Anko-san."
"Iruka will be pissed that we knocked over his secret stash. How is he going to get that jounin's attention now?"
Izumo shuddered. "I don't want to think about it." This might spell death for them; Iruka got down-right evil when he was drunk and felt that a plan of his had been foiled.
"Well, what should—"
Kotetsu was cut off as Aoba and Shizune stumbled into the room. They stopped and stared. And stared.
"Crap." Kotetsu muttered.
"SPARKLY!" Aoba shrieked drunkenly.
In that moment, all hell broke loose.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Izumo cracked open an eye and snapped it shut.
He decided to brave it again.
This time, things focused from bright light into blobs. Another blink and the blobs melted into more discernable shapes.
"Are you awake this time?"
Izumo tried not to cringe at the loud voice and the cleavage that hung in front of his face. "Yhe—" he coughed. "Yesh, Hokage-shama," he croaked out.
"Good. Now, what the hell possessed you and your idiotic partner to cover yourself in glitter and run out in a room filled with drunk ninjas? You know how shiny things distract them!"
"Didn't…accident…" he wheezed out. "Aoba...san…pushed…out…Kotetsu?"
Tsunade-sama snorted. "Oh, he'll be fine. We fixed his left arm and we have to watch his feet, that jutsu that Tonbo-san got him with might have some lasting effects, but it's nothing serious—unless he starts singing 'My Heart Will Go On' in Nahuatl again; then we might have a problem."
Izumo decided that he didn't want to know and felt grateful for the amnesia that was probably blocking that memory. "…See…?" He forced out, using extreme efforts to push the air out of his lungs.
Tsunade-sama gave him a dark look. "You're in no condition for sex," she snapped.
"No…! Just…see…know…fine."
"Don't try to pull that 'just want to see him' crap! It doesn't work for Genma anymore, and it won't work for you! I've learned my lesson!"
"Couldn't…up…" Izumo knew his face would be flaming, because honestly, telling the highest and most powerful ninja in the village that? Grounds to find a rock to bury himself under. "Said…self."
Tsunade gave him a suspicious look. "How about we compromise? You can see him, but since he's in only marginally better shape than you, his aide has to stay with him the whole time."
Izumo felt knots he hadn't known were there loosen instantly. It would be good to see with his own eyes how Kotetsu was fairing.
Kotetsu looked like he had hadn't bore the brunt of the charge. Other then the fact that he had Gai-san following him, he didn't seem to be in too bad of a shape. He smiled crookedly. "Some party, huh?"
Izumo nodded and wondered when he'd feel up to completing what they had started in the broom closet.
Kotetsu seemed to read his mind. Ignoring Gai's loud speeches and shadowboxing behind him, he flopped down on a chair next to Izumo's bed. "I think I'm seeing a pattern with the office parties…no action for a long time after they happen. This is going to be a problem."
"Make…Iruka…plan?"
"…That resulted in the Cow Fiasco. Still, the problems weren't that bad for us with that…and if we insinuate that a certain jounin might be interested, I'll bet we could get him to do ALL of the work!" Kotetsu grinned. "Still, gonna have to kill him for leaving the glitter there."
"…Yeah…"
They sat in silence next for a moment. "Well," Kotetsu sighed, "at least the party was a success. I've been hearing that people saying that it was one of the best office party that has ever been thrown."
"…Do…something…?"
"Yeah, we most definitely are going to have to do something about that. I was thinking that the Rain Country was looking mighty good for some of those bastards, don't you agree?"
Izumo smirked and knew his day was about to get better. See if those jerks crashed their parties and ruined their sex lives again!
x Fin x