A/N- So, this is the first story by me to be published on and I hope you'll like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.
Chapter 1- Fuck you Newton.
(JPOV)
Fuck it! I was lost again. I knew I shouldn't have taken this walk all on my own. I really should have followed my other friends. I knew this was how it would end. Fuck it! I hate being lost. I knew I had followed some kind of path for just a minute ago, but I just couldn't find it now. Just my luck. So typically me to go wandering away all by myself, lost in thoughts and end up not knowing were I am.
But this was the first time it seemed as a really serious thing, I was in the middle of the deep, dark forest of La Push. If I really were lost it would take a miracle to get me back. I didn't know were I were at all, all trees around me looked just the same. I had no idea which direction I was supposed to turn. I had been walking in an hour, perhaps? I just continued walking in the direction I thought would lead me back to the spring.
I wished I had brought my mobile, even though I never really used it, I always seemed to forget to take it with me, in opposite to all my other friends who was like addicted to their phones. Maybe they'd notice I was gone? They might even go looking for me, or call the police. I kept the hope up even though I knew my friends would all be too drunk to notice I was gone and far too drunk to be able to go looking or to call the police. Even if I was murdered right in front of their eyes they wouldn't call the police while they were drunk. In Forks everybody knew each other and they'd be killed at home if their parents ever found out that we were partying.
I had been drinking some. That might even be the reason to why I had gone off by my own, but I have never really been that affected by alcohol, to my friend's jealousy. This – me being really drunk- just didn't make any sense. Wait, hadn't that freaking Nick Newton giving me a glass of something. Maybe he had put some freaky drug in it. I went through my memory, going through what had happened earlier that night…
I had been happily airheaded, with a drink in my hand. Unfortunately the drink was soon gone and I noticed I was soon holding an empty glass. This was something really disturbing. Where had my bottle gone? I looked around with suspicious eyes and soon found the almost empty drink in my friend Lily Weber's hand. That was just so typically my best friend to go off and steal my bottle. I looked around, most people were dancing and playing around, I heard suspicious sounds from some bushes were a guy and a girl were making new acquaintances, though all of a sudden interrupted by a green faced boy who happened to puke on them. I was suddenly so tired of this party. I turned around and was just about to go find some interesting people as I walked into this boy. I backed away and saw to my great disgust that it was Nick Newton.
'Oh, hi babe, I didn't see you there.' He said with one of those flirty smiles. I so didn't fall for that.
'Hi Nick.' I guess you could call my voice pretty cold. I so didn't have time for conversation with that loser.
'Oh baby, no need to be so harsh.'
'You really think so. I don't.'
'What?'
'Why can't you just leave me alone?'
'Well, why should I? I have a great time right now, talking to this really beautiful girl in front of me.' Add a killer smile to that.
'Great. What does it take to make you leave me and go of to find another cute girl?'
He eyed me for a second, before answering with a smile. I should have known that wasn't a good smile.
'Why don't take a drink with me.'
I remember I agreed and that I quickly drank it up saying.
'So, the drink is over. Now get away.'
I should have known he was up for something. Man, I'm so stupid.
That would be just that kind of thing he would do. Fuck him, that little freaky ladies man who thought he could get any girl he wanted. It was a wonder he could be such a jerk when his older brother Mike was so nice. That little motherfucker ladies man. Fuck him! Like I was a cheep whore who was totally unable to resist him, or not wanting him so he had to drug me to get what he wanted. Like he would ever success to get me. Hell no. God, I hate him. Fucking Nick loser Newton, it was his entire fault I was lost out here in the middle of nowhere while they were partying and having fun. Great, I could even die here. Would he feel satisfied then? That little creep! Shit. I'm starting to get hungry now, too. I shouldn't have been drinking so much without eating. At least I could think clear now, which probably meant I wasn't really that drunk anymore. If that even was a positive thing. It would have been great to be numb and drunk, don't really caring about the world around me. It would definitely feel better, but it wouldn't help getting home alive.
Great, I think I've been walking in circles. I think I've seen that tree before. Or really, how should I know since they all look quite the same. By every minute it got darker too, the sun was going down know and would soon be entirely gone. Great, I was so lucky…not! After a while I could almost not even see the ground in front of me and I stumbled my way forward. I couldn't give up just yet, I had to get home. My brothers; Joe and Russell, would kill me if I were home late. They would never stop until I had told them everything and they would kill me immediately if they found out I'd been hanging out with boys and been drinking at the same time. I would be allowed to leave the house until I was eighty years old if they found out. Yeah, sometimes I really hated having so overprotective brothers. Most of the time they were just a pain in my ass, although I guess they only cared about me. I should really be grateful for that; I just couldn't see why they had to care about me so much. Anyway, I think it was already too late. If I couldn't get home soon they would kill me anyway, for making them so worried. It was just so unfair I wasn't allowed to live my life, without them always asking me stupid questions and holding me down. At least they didn't know yet about all our party trips to La Push. And I wanted it to stay that way. Just another reason for me to keep going forward, to fight to get back to the spring, to not give up. It was just so hard and I was so tired. And hungry. And my legs hurts, even my whole body hurts! Every part of me just wants to give up. Wants to just lie down and sleep. Oh, blissful sleep. Too bad I have to continue walking.
There's that tree again. Or wait, it's a new tree. It's just too dark to see anything. And the forest is full of strange noises. I can almost swear something really creepy is watching me now and I don't like it. I just want to go home! Why is it so impossible to find that stupid path? It shouldn't be so damn impossible to find it now, should it? Damn, fuck that fucking Nick fucking Newton! It's his entire fault. Though saying it out loud didn't help me coming home, so I just tried to drop it. It took too much concentration to be angry. I needed all my powers to just continue walking. I kept moving, though I'm sure I wasn't moving in a very high speed. I hate this damn forest. And where is that fucking path? God, I'd give so much for a hamburger now, I was so freaking hungry. Why couldn't this all end? This was just my luck. I was so tired now that I almost crept forward with closed eyes as I tried to keep close to the ground so that I wouldn't freeze so much.
That was when the rain started to fall. Big heavy drops of cold water, soaking me after only a few minutes. Now I was really cold! This was just way too much to handle. I wish I'd never even met Nick in the first place. I wish I hadn't even gone to La Push in the first place. I wish… I wish I had a hamburger and some more appropriate shoes than my stilettos. My feet were just so sore and my dress and jacket wasn't enough to keep from freezing. I wish I hadn't been born in Forks. This was just so disgusting and my brother would definitely kill me now, when I came home. If I ever got home in the first place. Maybe I would die in this stinking forest.
I almost couldn't care anymore; I was so tired and so hungry. I really wanted a hamburger… and a savior, anyone would do, even Nick, just as long as they could take me out of this stinking forest. I was so tired of all this. It's hard to keep fighting as you lose the sense of purpose in doing so. So what if I lay down and died, I would die anyway in this forest. Nobody was there to help me anyway. But I still didn't want to die, so I kept walking, now in complete darkness. I heard something sweep through some of the bushes at my right and in my fear I started to run. I didn't get very far until I fell on a stone and fell flat on the ground, hitting my head on a stick. What a failure, now I would definitely die was my last thought as I passed out. It was so peaceful here, and the forest rocked me to sleep, the trees leaves making me sleepy. So sleepy. I fell unconscious, satisfied that I finally could rest my sore body. I just couldn't care anymore. I just wanted to sleep. God, I really hated that fucking Newton.
-.-.-.-.-
Hours later I almost woke up because I felt a strong presence. I was still half unconscious, but my eyes opened up slightly and I saw a wolf coming near me. It was the biggest wolf I'd ever seen and I almost started to wonder if he was going on some creepy steroids or if he was so lab experiment gone bad. I was still too zoomed of to react properly though, so I just continued watching through my eyelids.
The wolf was not only big, it looked scary too. I could see sharp, white teeth glimmering in his mouth. But I still wasn't afraid, I actually felt safe with the wolf around. Now the wolf had come nearer, it was slowly approaching me, smelling the air that surrounded us. He had the most beautiful creamy fur you could imagine, like the color of sand or the cream over a cappuccino.-?-
I wanted to reach out my hand and touch it but I didn't have the power, even though he was so close now that I probably could touch him if I had stretched out my hand. He had big, mysterious eyes filled with light and warmness. It was as if he saw through my soul. I realized I'd hold my breath and that the world passed in slow motion. Then with a growing fear I realized I was barely breathing at all. It almost made me laugh when I realized I cared about breathing, I was dead anyway, why else would I see this marvelous wolf. Maybe he would be my guide in heaven. I'd like that. I liked him.
The only thing I couldn't quite understand was the worried look that was stuck on his face, making him somehow look very human. He was indeed a very cute wolf; maybe I could ask if he wanted to be my friend. Then I could ride on his back as he showed me heaven – a place filled with hamburgers, dr. pepper and kitchens filled with ingredients so I could be baking cakes to him as best friend gifts. I'm sure he would love my Italian torta della nonna. Yeah, we would definitely have some great times in heaven, especially for me since in my whole life I have always wanted to ride on the back of a bear, and with the size this wolf had it wouldn't be a problem at all for him to carry me. I started to wonder a bit nervously if McDonald's had yet established in heaven. Or if at least Panda house had. I mean, it just can't be any heaven without trash food. I really hope God isn't a diet freak or one of those vegetable lovers, that would just be so horrible, I mean we got to have the rights to eat what we want to eat. If we don't I might have to start an uproar to protest against the unfairness in that and that would take so much of my time. Time I wouldn't be able to spend with my new wolf buddy. Or at least best friend wolf buddy to be. I started to wonder if he would consider it gay to make some of those best friend necklaces to wear. Maybe I should ask him, but I still couldn't open my mouth, my whole body felt numb. It made me irritated, you'd think you'd have the free choice of moving your body how you wanted in heaven, wouldn't you.
I opened my eyes so that he could give me an explanation to this 'I-can't-move thing. And actually, I also opened them up so I could make sure he was for real and that he hadn't gone away yet and till my great surprise the wolf looked around, as if searching for someone to see him, before he with a satisfied smirk turned around. At first I thought he was leaving me there alone and I wanted to scream at him to not leave me here alone. It would be so unfair if he just ditched me for a cuter dead girl. I couldn't quite see why, I was pretty enough, wasn't I, with my blue eyes, pouty mouth and my short blonde hair. Well I had heard some guys liked girls with long hair better, but if that was the problem wouldn't he be very shallow then? And I was quite sure my wolf wasn't shallow.
To my great surprise my wolf didn't walk away, he just took a quick jump up in the air where he transformed himself… to a human. A very good looking human I must say. It was also a plus that he was naked; he also had a great body, muscular and tan. His eyes were exactly the same eyes of my wolf, though not as big and his hair was perfectly messed up as if he had recently been fucked or just left bed without styling it. I liked that, it was the far opposite to Nick's well styled hair that was so thick of gel and hair products that it never really moved at all. That was actually pretty freaky, I liked my wolf guy's hair much better. He had one of those sexy hairs you just want to grab and dig your fingers deep into so you can drag him to you as you make out. Damn, I really wanted to make out with this guy. He had those perfectly curved full lips. I couldn't do anything than just stare openly at him, he was so beautiful. He must have felt himself being watched because he looked around and found me looking wide eyed at him. I'm sixteen and a virgin and although I had seen guys naked before – believe me, this one was the best equipped man I had ever seen. Not so great experience though, but still. He had huge abs and a six pack neatly spread over his tummy. Sexy.
As fast as he saw me he screamed and swore as he fast as lightening covered himself behind a tree as he started to mumble things to himself in some strange language. I recognized a few words so I figured it had to be in Quileute, the local natives' language. As fast as he was gone my eyes slammed shut, I didn't have the power to keep them open any more. But I opened them again as I heard someone walk closer and I saw his smiling face as he leaned down to me. He seemed a bit tense, but I would be tense too if some guy saw me naked and saw me doing magic. Because that must have been what he did, he must be an angel. He looked like an angel too.
Hi girl, you seem a bit lost.
I nodded faintly, still not knowing who he was and wondering if he really was for real. I backed away from him just the slightest bit and I could see him noticing. He smelled so good, so sensual; I had to move so that I wouldn't throw myself at him and start to kiss him. Misunderstanding my distance as a sign of fear he smiled a crooked smile and held up his hands before him as he moved away, to my great pleasure, still dislike. I wanted him near me.
'Come on, girl. Take it easy, I won't hurt you. I'm actually here to help you. You have been gone for quite a while, everybody is out looking for you, you know.'
'Are….are…you a…an… angel?' I managed to pant out with great effort. My head ache of this. I felt more awake.
He started to laugh before answering;
'No, girl, I'm not an angel.'
He laughed more when he saw my lower lip start to pout out. The simple move brought me great pain as I all of a sudden could feel my body. Feel the pain in my throat, the pain spreading over my entire body. How my head was threatening to explode and feel the pain in my empty stomach as I was totally drought of water. I also started to feel the coldness as the rain had soaked down my whole body. He held me close to him and my face was pressed against his naked, warm chest. This was so good. He must have lied to me, he must be an angel I thought, no ordinary person could smell as good as this or be so warm. I think that was my last thought before I lost it all in my pain and all went black.