A/N: Well, this is my first fanfic in english. I'm not british, and my english not that good. Sorry for the wrong grammar i use here... So, this is just translation from "SAPPHIRE". Please tell me if you think my english not that bad and you want to read more, i will continue this. But, if you think my english is reaaallllyyy baaaad, please tell me and i will let this end in one chapter. R&R please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunter X Hunter

Genre: friendship, tragedy, angst

Warning: AU

I'm not receive silent reader. Read it, review it.

This world is vast

And we

Only a small cosmos in it

I understand that… I know that…

I feel small in this massive world

And it makes me worry all the time

But

In this unstable world

You are always here with me

You are always here for me

as long as you're with me

I feel calm and happy

Therefore

I'm willing to sacrifice anything for your safety

I will do anything to be with you

Even if it means cost my soul

.

.

.

Blue Sapphire Blue

.

.

.

I

Killua sat pensively in confusion. That white haired boy looked his own hands without expression. The feeling of fear and despair whacked him so greatly. Gon condition that worsen felt like unreal nightmare. But all of this are reality. The incident that happened to him is reality. And the pain from wounds because of incident are reality too. How many times Killua closed his eyes and opened them again, hoped to woke up from nightmare, all of this are still real.

Why? Why did bad luck always attacked him? Dreams always escaped from between his fingers like water and air. He just lost a person which always protected by him, and this time… he will lost a person which so precious to him. He will lost his light, his shelter, his world…

'NO!' Killua's heart shouted, 'Oh, God, why are You always inflict misfortune to me? Why are You always away from me? Why are You always leave me, avert Your eyes from me? Why?'

Killua lowered his head. The hospital sterile smell made his heart hurt and stung his eyes. Tears of despair drooled slowly from his cold eyes. 'Don't take him from me oh, My Lord. You have take away person that i care and protect so much. Now, just he the most important for me. There's nothing I want but his smile. I will sacrifice anything for him!'

-Really?—

A voice whispered in his ear, exhaled an air of fake hope.

-You will sacrifice anything for him?—

"YES! I will give anything if it mean he can be saved. ANYTHING!" Killua shouted. He didn't care who is the one that whispered. The person's voice resounded in his heart. Whoever was fine, if can saved Gon.

-If so, come with me… I will grant your whish.—

A black fog covered Killua, tried to took him to a black world where hopes will died. Killua closed his eyes, leaved over himself to the cold black fog. Killua knew the scent and atmosphere of the fog. The scent of darkness and the atmosphere of death. Killua knew, someone was smirked devilishly as hugged him with a black fog.

Vaguely, Killua could hear someone screamed, yelled his name, a voice of a girl. Killua knew the girl's voice. That was Biscuit's cute and shrill voice.

Biscuit walked in the hospital hallways while carried a bouquet of flowers to saw Gon. When she turned, she was surprised to saw Gon was shrouded in fog in front of Gon's room. The girl paled saw Killua who seem to leaved over himself. Moreover, the fog was became increasingly concentrated, eliminated Killua from her view.

Biscuit dropped the bouquet of flower then ran and shouted; "Killua! Don't leave over yourself! Don't follow the fog!" Biscuit reached the fog, but all she gripped was air. The fog finally disappeared with Killua.

Comfortable…

It felt so comfortable. The cold atmosphere that stabbed skin until able to killed emotion somehow felt so nice. The cold atmosphere that awakened nostalgia made Killua fed up, but the boy couldn't release himself from the sense of pleasure. Killua let the comfortable feeling and drifted in long slept with no dreams.

-Killua… wake up.—

That voice again. Killua frowned. He didn't want to woke up this time. He wanted all of this considered as dream. Because of it, he closed his eye tightly and curled.

-wake up… you have a wish, don't you?—

Killua reacted to 'wish' word. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The scene that captured by him just pitch black without end. In the middle of the dark world, stood a girl about ten years old, she had a black curly hair, black eyes, with clear skin covered by black gown.

-Wellcome to World's Library, Killua.—

Zel sat. 'Library?' Killua looked left and right, searched for book shelves that became library's characteristic.

-Oh the character in the story, tell me your wish. I will grant it.—

The red lips of hers smiled teasingly. Seduced the Dark Boy that fell to dark world once more after tried to escaped to bright world.

"Gon…" said Killua half sobbed, "save him!" His feeling overflowed, eye drops spilled in a great despair.

The Princess of Darkness smirked, -I will grant your wish. But, you have to pay it with equivalent exchange.—

"Anything is fine!"

-If so, give me your bzzzzz—

Killua gasped. The price that he had to pay are so expensive. But, it's okay! If it for beloved one, if it for important one… "I'll give it!" said Killua without second thought, "take it from me and saved Gon!"

The Princess's smirk widened. The satisfy after took and destroyed something precious was showed clearly in her black eyes. Her elegant hand touched Killua chest softly and pushed it hard.

-well then, I will take 'this' from you—

When 'it' was taken from Killua, the light in his eyes disappeared changed with cold blank gaze. With his last breath, Killua whispered in his heart; 'Gon… finally, I can save you…'

And dark world drowned Killua to the cold Lake of Despair.

All Biscuit could do just widened her eyes because confused and surprised. Her arms still in the gripped air position. 'Where in the world is Killua go?' thought Biscuit, 'that fog… is it—'

Suddenly, a blue light out from Gon's room. Biscuit awakened from her daydream. Biscuit confused with the action she had to did for a while then ran to Gon's room, broke in and gasped before she could yell Gon's name.

A pair of black eye that stared at her made Biscuit shocked. Gon was awoke already with confused expression like Biscuit's. He is perfectly healed! All wounds in his body already gone, not even a scratch left on his body. With a soft and light voice, Gon said;

"Bisky?"

Gon slept in eternity, refused to woke and resigned himself in guilty and regret because couldn't save his friend. 'even if I can't wake up, it's fine.' Thought Gon, 'I'll stay here… in this comfortable darkness… so I don't have to feel hurt anymore…'

"DON'T!"

Ngiiing…

A voice rung in his head. A voice that raised old memories. A voice with an annoying confident tone mixed with naughty tone. Slowly, Gon opened his eyes. In the middle of despair world, stood a white haired boy with hands on hips and expression that ready to scolded.

'Killua?'

Killua moved forward in high speed, and pinched Gon's cheek hard made the black haired boy confused.

"Stupid! Don't surrender yourself just like that, you have to think of people that worry about you!" shouted Killua. "I have told you, haven't I? That is not your fault. That accident is not your fault either. There's nothing you have to regret, you don't have to feel guilty and LIVE! Remember her beautifully. That's all you have to do."

'bu-but… if only I am stronger, if only I don't decide and don't invite you to run away, that time she definitely… definitely… SHE DEFINITELY WON'T DIE!' Gon kneeled and cried badly. 'Guilty always haunted me, regret make me breathless. I can't breath when remember it. I don't want to feel this feelings anymore… because of it… I surrender.'

Killua gnashed his teeth in anger and knocked Gon's head with all his power until Gon looked up confusedly.

"MORON!" snapped Killua, "that's running away! Don't run away from problems, face that feeling bravely. Don't loose from that kind of feeling! Because we understand the feeling, we become stronger and stronger." Killua stopped for a while, panted because yelled. "ah, whatever… there's useless talking to a person like you." Killua turned and walked away.

Saw Killua's back made Gon afraid and panic. He crawled quickly and grabbed Killua's foot. 'I'm sorry, Killua. Please don't angry to me.' Begged Gon. Killua turned and lowered his sight to Gon. 'I won't give up anymore, so please don't angry, Killua.'

"hmm… you should be like that." Killua smiled, "well then, wake up from this dream quikly."

'But, I don't know how.'

"oh, sorry, I forget, take this." Killua gave a ring with sapphire stone on it. The ring was chained to a necklace chain. "This is key so you can out from this world. Let me put it to you."

But Gon didn't move and just looked the ring quietly.

"Gon?"

'Killua, promise me.' Said Gon as he walked closer and turned.

"hm? What is it?" Killua put the necklace to Gon's neck.

'promise me, that you will be the first person I see when I wake up.' Gon turned to faced Killua again.

Killua just quiet, he didn't nod or shook his head.

'And promise me that you will always by my side. Promise me that we will live together forever.'

The magical effect of the ring started to work. The dark world covered by blue light.

'PROMISE ME!' begged Gon with all of his heart.

Killua smiled, but expression in his eyes were no longer seen because of the blue light blinded Gon's eyes, so he didn't know whether he smiled sadly or smiled happily. Gon winced, tried to saw Killua's eyes but he didn't make it.

"yes…" said Killua, "I promise."

Light covered darkness perfectly. The holy blue light swallowed Killua's body. 'Killua?' Gon tried to find a familiar figure in his eyes, a figure that he miss so much. But, before he could find him, the world broken into pieces and the scenery changed to hospital's roof.

Gon sat. His sight swept the room, searched for a white haired boy with violet eyes. A chain's voice reached his ears and the feeling of steel tickled the black haired boy. Gon touched his chest and saw the ring that Killua gave were still hung in his neck. Suddenly, the door opened rudely and Biscuit broke in with panic, fear, and confused feeling mixed up at her facial expression.

"Bisky?" called Gon, "Bisky? Are you okay? Where is Killua?"

"ukh…" Biscuit paled. Tears backed up in her eyes and she shook her head slowly. The girl looked like a strangled person.

A shrill and pathetic scream suddenly heard. Gon released all hoses on his body, jumped down the bed and ran off passed Biscuit whose off guard because looked away to the direction of the scream. Abandoned Biscuit prohibition, Gon keep ran made Biscuit had to ran after him.

Gon ran to the direction of the voice. Fishy scent smelt vaguely. A fishy scent that seems to be remembered by Gon, not fishy scent from fish or sea, it's more than that. FISHY SCENT MIXED UP WITH STEEL AND FRESH FLESH SCENT. The fishy scent led him to a room that has 'NURSE OFFICE' sign hung on the door. An incredibly strong fishy scent smelt from that room, made anyone would winced their nose because disgusted. Moreover for Gon whose had a nose stronger than hound. The black haired boy almost puked because of it. But not because disgusted, it was because the fishy scent awakened a pathetic memories that just happened to him before.

Gon stopped when he reached the room and shocked so awfully when looked at the view in that room. All of the nurses lied on the ground covered by fresh blood.

"Gon, what happe— ukh…" Biscuit gasped when looked the same view. But she worried more about Gon's condition whose frozen and trembled hard. "Gon?"

"Ah…" Gon paled. A view that resemble to a view in that room flashed in his head. In his memory, a straight long black haired girl fell not far from him, the girl were bathed with blood. "Ah…" blood came out from her nose, her mouth, her closed eyes drooled a blood eye drops. "Ah…" blood were everywhere, on leaves and grass. A beautiful dark red color like color of a rose blinded him.

"UWAAAAH!" Gon screamed. That memory made him sick. Gon kneeled down, his leg powerless and nausea killed him. The green haired boy covered his mouth and tried to push the nausea even though it didn't work. Gon finally puked, puked all liquid in his stomach.

Biscuit pitied him and tried to calmed him down immediately, "Gon? What's wrong? Calm down… it's okay, just puke everything you have."

A voice of somebody stepped in pool of blood heard, made both of them stunned. A heavy aura pushed them and cold atmosphere tortured their mental. Slowly, very slowly, both of them raised their heads and saw a boy with the same age as Gon; white haired, violet eyes with cold gaze, pale skinned even too pale so he looked like Dracula who will turned into ashes when bathed with sunlight. His pale face stained with blood, his shirt was covered with blood, and his hand with deadly sharp nails -that looked like claws- covered perfectly with the color of blood.

Gon and Killua widened their eyes when saw the pale boy. The feeling of surprised, sad, and confused raged in their mind when realized who is the boy in front of them. Gon tried to found his voice to called the white haired boy. With trembled lips, Max whispered; "Ki—Killua?"

-Well then, give me all of your 'memories that you made with him'— Said the girl with mocked smile.

"Me—memories?" asked Killua, "but, why?"

The Darkness Princess smirked happily.

"Killua? You are Killua, right? You are Killua Zaoldyeck, right?" called Gon in despair.

Biscuit had no power to spoke. Her voice was trapped in her throat and couldn't said a word. All that girl could do just trembled hard because she knew what happened to the pale boy.

With his cold eyes, he looked Gon and Biscuit alternately. But there was no recognized expression on his face. Coldly, he asked, "Who are you?"

Tears fell from Biscuit's blue eyes. And all Gon did just widened his eyes. The feeling of being betrayed by beloved person attacked Gon, his heart was hurt when heard Killua's question.

-Memories are the most important part that make humans have power to live. The person that you want to be saved terribly need it, if you want to save him, you have to give that memories and give the power of memories in order to saved him—

"Really? Well then—"

-Are you sure?—

"Eh?"

-Do you know the consuquenses?—

"Wha-what?"

-It means, you will forget him, and not only that, you will also forget the feeling you have when you with him, you will forget all events with him. In other words you will back into the time before you meet him.—

"Back to old 'me' before I meet him?" Killua remembered himself before he knew Gon. "I will back to a cold boy who doesn't know about happiness, love and care. I will back to an arrogant boy who could killed people easily without feeling. I will back to a prince—no, 'DOLL' of darkness." Killua remembered the old him before he met Gon, the one that cruel and pathetic. "it's okay. I'll give it. Take it from me!"

Zel inhaled deeply, reinforced himself and his decision; "SAVED GON!"

Sobbed… sobbed…

"Gon…" said Biscuit. She sat beside Gon that cried hard and rubbed his back tenderly "Gon, come on, don't cry…"

Gon didn't care with Biscuit's cheered words and refused her hand then stooped and continue his crying.

"Gon, I also sad just like you. But crying won't bring Killua back" Biscuit's limp and started to cry without expression. Tears slowly fell down and made a little river in her cheek. "Doesn't care how hard you cry, he won't back to us…"

Gon was still crying. Killua has gone. He's not here anymore. Two words echoed in his ears, disturbed his mind, penetrated his soul. Words that he wanted to said to Killua so badly, but there was no voice that able to do that. Two words that will imprinted and sculpted in his heart.

'LIAR!'

And…

'COMEBACK!'

A/N: so? what do you think? if you want to read more about this, please review! *bow*