New York was different the second time around, the first time it had been home; the streets, the allies, the people all had seem familiar. Now walking through the city he felt like an outsider. Now he felt like a stranger and felt himself becoming more and more isolated from the people around him. There was a feeling settling in his heart, he wasn't sure what it was, but it grew stronger everyday dragging him down, casting his eyes downward, pulling his mouth into a scowl, giving him horrible nightmares, he wasn't happy.

"Todd! Goddamnit get the hell up you're driving me to fucking work!" Keith screamed at a undistinguishable blue sleeping bag. The blue blob grunted.

"Todd!" Keith took aim and kicked him in what looked like the stomach.

"Motherfucker!!" Todd screamed rolling into the fetal position.

"Well get the hell up then!" Keith replied back, turning his back to Todd.

Jess rolled over in his sleeping bag, putting his hands over his ears, starring blankly at the cracked and water stained wall wishing he could be alone, wishing he could take their echoing voices out of his head. The door slammed as Keith and Todd left for work, leaving Jess curled up in his sleeping bag without a second glance. There was no friendship between them, it was five guys who were poor trying to survive on their own in a room the size of an average living room. They leaned on each other only when it suited them. Jess secretly hated them and knew they felt the same. He could feel his beeper vibrating on his hip, having slept in his jeans and t-shirt again last night, he didn't care, he didn't care about anything. He heaved himself out, took a quick swish at his t-shirt in attempt to dewrinkle it, ran his fingers through his hair, picked up his bag and left, he didn't look back. He thanked god he had his car everyday, it saved his life, it was a disaster, it made mysterious noises, it was cluttered with his belongings but he didn't care, it was his, in it he was him. He lit a smoke, and threw a CD on the player. It felt good to drive in New York city traffic, it unleashed primal instincts, it made you feel like a lion in the jungle. He drove over the bridge into Manhattan to the small side street firm he worked for. Joe, his boss was a good guy, gave him flexible hours, easy jobs, didn't care as he continued to slide further and further away, as long as his packages got delivered.

"Hey Jess!" Joe smiled widely his brown eyes sparkling, rubbing the large bald spot on his head.

"I got a ton of stuff for you today, Jason comped out on me today, so you'll have to do his today, I'll see if I can weasel you some overtime, July is really the perfect month for divorce! Divorce papers up the wazoo, heavy divorce papers that cost a hundred bucks a pop to go seven blocks. Have fun." He motioned to a stack of boxes, and large envelopes. Jess nodded, and started to load them in the front seat of his car. Jess slammed the door.

"You alright Jess?"

"Sure." He faked a smile and drove away. July may have been the month for divorce Jess thought but it was also the month for equator like heat, and construction. He got stuck for an hour trying to cross onto 43rd, he pulled out a soft cover from the back and vaguely watched the newly laid ash fault rise in black mists. His T-shirt was sticking to his back, his hair felt plastered onto his head, sweat was dripping and stinging in his eyes, as he finally pulled out, cranking the window down as far as it would go, lighting up a smoke with shaking hands.

It was nine hours later when he pulled up to Joe's again. Joe was sitting wearily at his desk, surrounded by dangerously stacked paperwork.

"Twenty eight confirms with certified signatures, three credit cards for amount paid, and seven confirmed subpoenas, I drove 168 miles today gas is at a buck thirty a gallon." Jess stated his voice quiet after having been silent and smoking in the car all day.

"I appreciate it Jess. Jack called in, he quit and packages have been piling in today I'm gonna need you early tomorrow." Jess looked at his watch, it was almost midnight, it would take him nearly an hour to get back over the bridge. He sighed.

"How early?"

"Seven."

"Can I park in you garage, I'll just sleep in my car." He could feel himself say the words, just like he felt his feet move, saw himself driving, heard himself yelling curses at cab drivers in Queens, it just felt like there was some machine inside him to keep him going, to keep him from dying, but he couldn't force himself to do any different.

"I've got an apartment downstairs, I never use, it's small its got a bed, a bathroom you can stay down there for the night if you want."

"Thanks Joe."

Joe raised his eyebrows and smiled "You're saving my ass kid, for you anything."

It was dark down in the apartment, the windows were dirty and facing into the ally, letting in no light, Jess liked it that way. He sat on the bed, blowing smoke up into the air, vaguely feeling a pain in his stomach that felt like hunger, vaguely remembering he hadn't eaten all day. It was all vague. It was a small room, a bed, a few empty hooks, a bureau, and a little table, it made him feel isolated from New York, he couldn't hear the sirens, the yelling of his roommates as they trudged in and out of his apartment at all hours to and from jobs illegal and legal. He fell asleep and slept sounder than he had since he had left Stars Hollow.

"Hope you are ready for a fun filled day, seven am, ninety degrees, forty nine packages, I'm gonna nickname name you FedEx. I'll talk to the hard asses and get you overtime and if they piss me off they can deliver their own packages, and you and me can rob the profits and take off." Jess starred at him glossy eyed with a cup of black coffee in this hands, wondering how anybody had so many words for seven am.

"I'll make a deal with you, no overtime if you let me rent that apartment down there."

"Why on Earth would you want that, its been empty for ages."

"Joe, I live in Queens in an apartment twice that size that I share with five other guys, that is a fucking dream down there."

Joe nodded his head. "You get all these delivered today you can have this month free, and we'll work something out."

Jess smiled, a real smile. "You got it."