Saki (Bold) and Athina[ForeverSacred from Bat Country] (Italic) both wrote this one. I hope you love this spin on a Disney classic

Once upon a time in a beautiful castle there lived a royal family. The king ruled his land with peace and love for his people. One day a son was born into his family. They named him Bill and the were happy. The kingdom flourished as Bill grew up but all of the sudden His father died of some unknown disease leaving his mother all alone. A month or so later she remarried to a new man Bill has never seen before. He was wicked beyond the meaning of the word and treated poor Bill like a slave. Every night Syn would consult The Rev, his magic mirror, and ask him who was the fairest in the land. And every night Rev would say that Syn was. And it would make Syn happy.

One day, in the meadow, Bill was singing a song he had just come up with. When suddenly, he spotted a handsome prince behind a tree, watching him. He began to walk toward the tree, in hopes of finding out the young prince's name, but as soon as he took one step toward the tree, the prince fled. Bill tried to fallow the prince, but it was no use. He was already gone.
Back in the castle, Syn was once again talking to his Rev. Syn then asked The Rev his favorite question.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all?"

"Dude, stop calling me a damn mirror," the Rev replied, a little ticked off. "For the last time, I'm your friend. Not a magic mirror."

"Answer my question, mirror. Or I shall have you castrated."

A very scared Rev replied, a little too quickly. "Bill is the fairest," and after receiving a dirty look from Syn, continued. "My lord..." he mumbled.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BILL IS THE FAIREST?!" Syn bellowed making The Rev fall over on his ass.

"I'm sorry my lord but its true." He showed the Syn the moment when Bill met the prince.

"Son of a…" Syn muttered as The Rev stood up. "

What are you gonna do Syn?" Syn smirked as his self -proclaimed brilliant mind came up with and idea. A really evil idea.

"Shadows!!" He called out to his woodsman. M. Shadows sauntered in all powerful.

"Yeah what do you want?" he asked.

"I want you to kill someone for me." Syn demanded. Shadows perked up. He loved the smell of blood.

"WHOWHOWHO?" Syn laughed. "Settle down my diminutive woodsman. I want you to kill the fairest person in all the land." Shadows looked confused.

"You?" The Rev exploded in to loud laughter only to be shut up by a death glare from Syn.

"No you idiot. Bill!"

"Oh... why Syn? He's such a sweetheart!"

"DO IT FOOL! And bring me his SWEET HEART in this." He threw Shadows a wooden heart shaped box. "NOW GO!" Matt ran off afraid of Syn's wrath. Syn smirked and turned to The Rev. "Now we'll see who's the fairest in all the land."

Back in the meadow, Bill was picking at flowers, playing an extremely silly game. "He loves me," Bill pulled off a petal, "He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not." Bill pulled off the last petal. "He loves me!!" He cried. Then, he noticed some movement behind a tree. Immediately, he thought of that handsome prince, and began to walk toward the tree in hopes that it was really him. Then, an extremely tattooed man jumped out from behind the tree, and immediately began chasing Bill around with an axe. Bill tripped on a tree branch, and landed heavily on his face. He began to get up again, but it was to late. The scary looking man had the axe to Bill neck.

"Oh please sir, don't kill me!" Bill shrieked. "I just met the man of my dreams…please don't be so cruel as to take him away from me when I just barely met him." M. Shadows got a look of doubt on his face.

"But if I don't kill you, then Syn's going to kill me."

Bill was shell shocked. "Syn sent you after me?! I knew he was cruel but…he actually wants me…dead?" he squeaked out.

'Shit', M. Shadows thought. 'If I don't finish this soon, I'm going to chicken out…besides, I left the car running. I don't have time to waste my gas.' "Okay, look I'll make you a deal. I won't kill you, but you can't go back. If Syn finds out that I didn't chop you to bits, I'm done for."

"Deal!" Bill said. "Thank you kind woodsmen."

"Say that again, or ever repeat this story to anyone, I really will kill you" Shadows said with a serious look on his face.

A frightened Bill got up. "Got it" he squeaked out, before running into the forest. Never to come back again.

Our poor Bill kept running jumping at every little noise he heard. The sky turned a dark black and the trees looked terrifying. "Keep running," He told himself. " "Keep running. You can do it." He stopped at a huge tree to catch his breath. A branch snagged his jeans and tripped him. He got up and kept running. A bear came and snarled at him stopping him in his tracks. "Nice bear…" Bill muttered and backed away slowly. Luckily the bear went in another direction. Bill kept running until he couldn't no more. With no more strength left he collapsed and started sobbing.

After a few minutes, Bill stopped crying enough to see a cottage a little ways away. He used what strength he had left, and began to run again. Maybe if he was lucky, the people in the cottage would let him stay. He arrived at the homely looking place five minutes later Nervously, he began to knock. He waited a while, then tried knocking again. No one answered. After a while, Bill had a thought. 'Maybe its abandoned…If so, there shouldn't be a problem if I go inside for a little while'. He tried the door. It was unlocked, so he went inside. He began to wonder around the small little place, and soon enough he found an extremely dirty kitchen.

He searched for food, but the place was so dirty he couldn't find a thing. He got another idea…He walked to the window, and began to sing. Surprisingly, it didn't take very long. Before he knew it, the cabin was crowded with fan girls. They began to chant for him. Then, he spoke.

"If you want me to sing some more, you need to help clean up this cabin. And then, I need some food. Lots and lots of food." The fan girls got right on it. Some of them went to work, cleaning up the kitchen, the living room, the bedrooms, and any other small space they could find in the cabin. The others ran out of the forest, and began buying all sorts of things. It didn't even take ten minutes before the cabin was squeaky clean, and there was lots of food on the table. Bill made himself a sandwich, and sang to the girls. After a while, he began to get cold. So he told the girls that he was done for the night, and he went to light a fire. Not too long after, he fell asleep.

While Bill was asleep on the beds he found, a few miles down the road the cottage's inhabitants were hard at work mining diamonds. There were seven of them. Ray the leader who always had something fearless to say, Gustav the one who sneezes every two seconds, Georg The happiest one, Mikey the shy one, Bob the meanest, Tom the sleepiest and little Frank who couldn't say a single word. (No one taught him how.) After they put in a hard days work, they put down their axes and wheelbarrows and headed on home, joking and laughing as they went. Well except for Bob. He was just sulking. As soon as they stepped foot into their cottage they noticed something terribly wrong.

"Hey," Tom exclaimed yawning, "Someone cleaned the cottage!"

"Yea," Mikey said, "and everything is so…organized." He shuddered at the demon word.

Ray noticed something from upstairs. "Look men. Our light in our room is on." They all scurried upstairs to see a lump on the bed.

"Looks like a monster." Bob grumbled.

"Ok as soon as I pull the sheet down attack it." Georg commanded "On the count of 3. One…Two… THREE!!" He pulled the sheet down and everyone stopped. Lying there was the most peaceful person they've ever seen. His chest was rising and falling with every breath. They didn't dare move.

Ray reached out, and gently shook the sleeping beauty. After a few second, the man slightly opened his eyes, and as soon as he saw the seven men in front of him, he got this terrified look on his face. He immediately sat up, and began to scoot away from them, apologizing the entire time. Ray put his hand up, to silence him.

"What is your name?" Ray asked politely.

"B-b-b-b-Bill" he stammered out.

"Well why are you here? Why are you even this far in the forest?" Bill began to tell his story, from the very beginning. The only thing he tried to not mention was the part about the woodsmen. But the story made no sense without him, so Georg began to ask him questions, until he admitted to what happened there. The dwarves reassured Bill that they would keep quiet, and they all decided to get some shut eye. After all, it had been a long day.

At the castle when Shadows came back and gave him the box, Syn cheered. He went to ask The Rev his usual question.

"Mirror Mirror on the wall. Now who's the fairest one of all."

"NOT A MIRROR!!"

"Oh shut up and tell me."

The Rev looked uneasy. "Well to make a long, painful story shot…. Bill still is." Syn became consumed with rage. He looked inside the box and saw a pigs heart.

"FUCK!! You want something done you have to do it yourself." He went down to his potion room and took out a potion to turn himself into a craggy old man. He then dipped an apple in poison, took his two pet crows and left to the dwarf's cottage. Meanwhile the little men had to go to work back in the mines. They told Bill to be extra careful cause Syn might be after him. A few hours after the left Bill heard the door knock. He went to open it and saw it was an old man with a basket of apples.

"Hello young one, I was just walking through the meadows when I saw this cute little cottage and I thought you might want some apples." Syn lied.

"No, I'm alright. We have plenty of apples. Thanks though," Bill said with a smile.

"Oh dear…I took so long to pick these nice, juicy apples for you and now you don't want them…"

"Oh, well when you put it like that…I guess we'll have some apples." Syn handed Bill an apple.

"Hear you go, dearie. Have a nice day," he said, trying to hide his evil smirk. Syn left, knowing that the deed was done. As he walked back through the forest, he began to laugh maniacally. He was so busy laughing, he didn't notice the cliff. No one ever saw him again.

Inside the cottage, Bill was trying to think of a way to possibly use the apples he had just bought. So he decided he would make some apple pie. He began to bake, and after about an hour, it was done. He let it cool, knowing that the dwarves would be home from work any time now. When it was done cooling, he decided that he should probably test it first to make sure that the pie is good. He slowly took one bite, and quickly found it to be quite delicious. He couldn't stop himself from eating the entire pie. When he took that last bite, he collapsed. Thinking that it was just because he was full, he closed his eyes and let sleep consume him.

Back in the caves, Ray was telling everyone that it was time to go. Then quickly got in line, out of habit, and began to march home, singing the whole way. When the reached the cabin, however, they were meet with a terrible site. They saw Bill, lying on the floor. He looked cold, and Ray felt for a pulse but could not find one. They slowly picked Bill up and put him in a glass case. Then, they set out to find the prince.

The prince was at the lake letting his horse drink. He was thinking of that beautiful someone he met in the meadow. All he could think about was that beautiful voice. All of the sudden seven little men came crashing through the bush. The prince was shocked. Frank pulled at his arm with urgency.

"What is it little guy?" Ray introduced the group and told him of the situation. Was it the beauty he saw in the meadow that day? "Ok I'll come. And by the way I'm Gerard."

They ran to the field where they found the case. Gerard's breath hitched as he saw who was in it. Tom and Bob opened the case so the prince could lean down. He took Bill's hand.

"I'm sorry I never got to know you. But know you are the most beautiful person I've ever met." He kissed Bill's lips softly and started to cry. Everyone did.

All of a sudden, Bill opened his beautiful chocolate eyes and was met with seven men hugging him to the point where he couldn't breathe. When he finally stammered out a weak 'hi', the dwarfs backed off. Standing there, quietly behind all of them was the gorgeous prince that Bill had seen in the forest a few days ago. He stood there quietly, a lovely smile occupying his lips. He leaned forward and whispered gently into Bill ear.

"Good morning, lovely. How did you sleep?" At this comment, Bill couldn't help but giggle. Gerard swiftly picked Bill up, and began to carry him, bridle style, back into the meadow whispering sweet words into his ear, the whole time. They all lived happily ever after. The end.