Rating: K+ for slight coarse language.

Season: Future

Category: AU, humor.

Summary: The Atlanteans get a chance to improve their baby-sitting skills. A little McWeir, a smattering of Sheyla, and friendship with the whole gang.

Spoilers: None for now.

Feedback: Always much appreciated. But please no comments about this chapter being sexist–everyone will have their chance to baby-sit. This is just meant to be harmless fun.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. If I owned them, I wouldn't be in this tiny apartment.

Notes: It's a miracle - a new story! This is something of a continuation of my 'New Arrival' series (which will hopefully be finished when I have a little time), featuring Rodney and Elizabeth's brand new addition. It would probably help to read that first. This has been sitting on my desk for quite some time, but real life has been intruding. What can you do?

Adventures in Baby-sitting

Rodney's knock sounded at John's door. He knew it was McKay's knock by the franticness; everything about McKay was frantic these days.

The door opened on John's command and McKay rushed in, baby carrier in one hand, diaper bag in the other.

"Can you watch Josie?" the scientist's words tumbled out. "Just for an hour or so. I'm supposed to have her for the afternoon–Elizabeth's on that trade negotiation with Lorne's team–only there's an emergency in one of the labs, and I'd send Zelenka, but he has the flu, and the botanists are ready to strike if the chemists don't...well, I don't really know all the details, but I need to get down there now. And I wouldn't ask you but Teyla's on the mainland, and Carson's swamped in the infirmary, and I think Ronon would eat her or sell her for ammo or something." McKay finally took a short, gasping breath. "Please, Colonel."

It took John a moment to sort through everything Rodney had said. He'd been so transfixed by the warp speed at which McKay was babbling that he'd only just caught what was actually said.

"Watch Josie," he repeated for verification.

"Just for an hour. Or so."

John looked at the baby carrier which McKay had plunked on his desk. "What am I supposed to do with her?"

"Take her to a Yankee's game," McKay snapped. "Just watch her–make sure she continues breathing, change her, feed her." He rolled his hands encouragingly. "Please?"

"Well–"

McKay was already out the door. "Thanks!"

Sheppard set down his book with a sigh and edged over to the carrier to peer in. "What am I supposed to do with you?" he asked Josie.

She opened her tiny pink mouth in what began as a silent cry but quickly became audible and loud.

Very loud.

"Oh, shit," he said then cringed. "Sorry." He lifted her out of her carrier. She was only in his arms for a minute before he realized with an unpleasant start what the problem was. "Nope. I was right–oh, shit." He sighed heavily. "Now what?"

He set Josie back down again and began scavenging through the diaper bag McKay had left him.

"Diapers–check. Wipes–check." He rifled some more. "Geez, Jos, what didn't Papa Bear pack?" He surveyed the bounty of supplies. "Got everything. What to do, what to do?"

Josie briefly left off crying but soon started up again at a fever pitch.

"I know, I know," John said soothingly, scratching the side of his head pensively. "Dirty diapers are no fun." He chewed on his lip briefly before keying up his headset. "Lieutenant Cadman? It's Sheppard."

"Yes, sir?"

"Meet me outside my quarters, ASAP."

There was a pause. "Sir?"

"ASAP, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

John rocked Josie's carrier gently until he heard a knock on his door.

"Colonel?"

"Come in, Cadman," he called, and the door opened, admitting Laura Cadman.

"Sir?"

"What do you know about babies, Lieutenant?"

Her eyes did a perfunctory soldiers sweep of the mess laid out on his bed. "Ah, baby-sitting duty."

John gestured helplessly at the diapers. "I don't know how to use those things."

Cadman grinned and grabbed the changing pad, spreading it out on the floor before laying Josie down on top. She quickly went through the motions, occasionally asking John for a supply.

John was fascinated by the conservation of movement and the subsequent speed with which Cadman changed Josie's diaper; it was like a one woman, baby pit-crew. As Cadman fastened the last Velcro tab, she grinned again and handed over the baby.

John whistled appreciatively. "The baby's smokin', Cadman."

Lieutenant Cadman laughed. "What teenage girl didn't baby-sit for pocket money?" She smoothed down Josie's fine hair and headed toward the door, toting the bag with the soiled diaper with her like an overly sensitive explosive. "I'll dump this in the trash. Have fun, Colonel."

"Thanks, Lieutenant," he called to her retreating back. Once he was sure she had gone, he looked down at Josie, who was quieting down nicely. "Now, how many people do you think I can pull that on before they start getting suspicious?" He smiled–only noon and already a good day's work of delegating put it.

"Come on, Baby McKay. Let's see if you and I can't find a Yankee's game."