Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer.
This one-shot is dedicated to Minschen for requesting a story with Edward and Bella in it. I didn't plan on bringing them back into Essie's life just yet so this chapter was bourn from the chaos of my mind.
If you are reading Uncertainty then read A/N 1 if you are reading this because it's a Nessie/Jake story then read A/N 2, thank you x
A/N 1: Read it here first, why has Renesmee got two heartbeats? I do have a plan of sorts and I've had this up my sleeve for a while but there were too many spoilers to put it in the story where it should be chronologically. Besides I wanted to keep the main story all Essie POV, because it is her story, but this is a little meander back into the mind of Nessie.
This coincides with chapter 14 & 15, or 'Wednesday' from Essie's first week at school. You know, the day she got all hyped up and didn't know why. When she got home there was nobody there, just a note saying that Nessie and Jake had gone to Seattle. Essie thought it was a bit weird that they should both just take off like that at the time, but dismissed it. Well, this is why they went…
A/N 2: Haya, and welcome to this one shot. It goes with my main story 'Uncertainty' so this is a quick catch up for those who haven't read it. This is set forty odd years after BD. Jake and Nessie have been married for twenty one years and they have a sixteen year old daughter named Esther, although everyone calls her Essie or Ess. They haven't seen any of the Cullens for five years because they had to stay away from Forks after a drunken Mike Newton, or Old Man Newton as he's now known, tried to burn down the Cullen house after figuring out they were vampires. Nobody really believed Mike but it was safer for the Cullens not to be around in case people became thoughtful. Just so you understand why this meeting takes place in Seattle…
I finished off the towering sandwiches for Essie; my daughter's appetite was noticeably more considerable these days. I worried about her, of course I did, but my little lamb seemed to have this solid core that was near unbreakable. I knew deep in my heart that everything would work out for her, simply because that girl had a will you could bend iron on.
I had been worried last night though. Harry, her best friend probably, even counting the Uley Twins, had said, well I'm not sure what he said exactly but it had upset my daughter so much. I had never seen her cry like that, weeping onto my shoulder for a full hour. Whatever he had said, something about her being a snob because of my side of the family, had pushed her to confess that she feared she would become a monster.
My little baby a monster? I shudder at the thought; my little lamb would never hurt a living being in malice. Yes she was highly strung. Yes she seemed to have an uncanny knack for getting herself into trouble, but she never set out to hurt anyone.
She was my daughter, and there were times she infuriated me with her behaviour, but I loved her and I would go to the ends of the Earth to protect her.
Last night she had screamed, it was such a soul-chilling scream that I rushed to her side, my daughter was clearly in pain. As I put my hand to her shoulder the dream played back in my mind. It took all my strength of will not to shudder. To think my baby thought this of herself, to think she was a monster. It took a long time for me to convince her she was not a monster.
Finally she seemed to calm and she refused all the offers I made her, assuring me that she needed nothing but sleep. So I left her, feeling wretched that I could do nothing this night for my precious gift. I knew it best not to argue with her, my little Esther had a tenacity that was best left unopposed. If she wished to be alone now then I would leave her, she would come to me when she was ready.
I didn't go back to sleep though, I knew that my baby would not do so. I listened fretfully as I lay in my otherwise empty bed. Jake love him always took the night patrol, I admired his determination to put himself out in such a way as an example to the rest of the Pack. Since Sam had decided to try and stop phasing so he could grow old with Emily, the Packs had re-emerged with Jake as the Alpha, but all this self sacrifice left little time for Nessie, and right now I was missing him more, especially since I was…
I heard her moving as soon as she thought the coast was clear. Honestly sometimes I swear she underestimates my senses. Like that night she spent with Harry on the beach, I heard the whole exchange, heard her sneak out the window. I didn't stop her because I knew this was something she needed, to talk to her friend. It was a shame Jake had caught them the next day.
Personally I wouldn't have punished her so harshly, kids need their freedom, but Jake does worry so. His biggest fear is that the Volturi find out about her before we know exactly what she is and take her from us. Of course if they ever tried that I'd fight them tooth and claw, they wouldn't take my baby from me!
"Are you ready to go?" Jake asked, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and kissing my neck.
I melted backwards into his chest as my eyes closed with pleasure at his embrace. I loved these tender little moments; with everything that was going on we rarely got to experience them these days.
"I just need to leave a note." I answered, almost unwillingly leaving his arms as I retrieved the reporter's notebook from the top drawer and wrote a quick note of explanation to Essie.
Once I was sure all was ok Jake took me by the hand and we left the house, Jake locking the door, which was truly a Polaroid moment, rarely did we find this necessary. Then we made our way quickly to Jake's work garage around the back where he hid his better cars. I dread to think what would happen if Essie ever found out about this little cache.
We got into a black Volvo, much like the one Dad used to drive, fast but safe. Right now we had to get to Seattle fast, but I was carrying precious cargo.
The journey seemed to pass swiftly, but I remembered this as a symptom from last time. Then again Jake was one of the fastest drivers I knew, and still able to keep control of the heap of metal that hurtled along the road at 100MPH.
Our destination was a private residence just outside of the city hidden by tall trees. I felt relief as we began the long climb up the gravel drive. Soon we would know for sure.
We parked out front and I exited before Jake could fuss over me too much. At least it wasn't as bad as last time when all had been uncertain, Jake had practically carried me up the steps that time, despite my insistence that I could walk.
I could tell Jake wasn't happy that I should stress myself so, honestly you'd think I was the first woman to ever go through this. I smiled and took his warm hand. He smiled back as he pressed the button on the keys that locked the door, even though I was sure nobody would steal from here.
We walked up the steep stoop and knocked on the red door. It was old and the paint seemed to be peeling from it, but this was just for show.
After barely a second the door was opened by a girl in her late teens with brown hair, pale skin and gold eyes.
"Mom." I cried, throwing myself into her arms. "It's…god, I'm so glad to see you."
"Oh Renesmee." She sighed, embracing me to her cold frame.
"Don't I get a hug?" A velvet smooth voice asked in mild annoyance.
"Of course you do Dad." I exclaimed, bringing him into the embrace as well.
He chuckled as he placed his cold hand on the back of my head and kissed my hair. I revelled in my parents' embrace; it was something I'd missed these long five years. I felt like a child again without a care in the world, it was ironic when you thought about it.
"So do I get in on the love-in?" Jake asked.
I chuckled and released my arm from around Mom to welcome him into the group hug. His warm body added an odd contrast to the cold of my parents', but it was where I belonged, right here in between. I don't know who broke from the embrace first, but it became apparent after five minuets that we needed to break it or we would spend all day here on the doorstep without ever achieving the goal we wanted.
"Come on." Mom said, leading us inside an opulent hallway that was slowly succumbing to genteel decay. "Everything is set up."
Jake took my hand as my parents led us up the stairs to the first floor. Once on the landing we were led through a pair of double doors that was probably once a grand ballroom, now however it looked like a good imitation of an antenatal unit you'd find in any hospital across the country.
Carlisle and Esme were sat on chairs near a gurney but they both rose to their feet when we entered. I felt a wave of butterflies in my stomach as I noticed Carlisle's white coat. I couldn't help thinking 'here we go again' as first Esme hugged me, and then Carlisle did.
At least it wasn't as tense as last time. When Essie had first made herself known none of us had known what to expect. I kept having flashes of my mother's body, bloody and broken as I was whisked away. What if my body had been unable to deal with the birth, just as her body had been ill equipped to deal with mine.
I had been strapped to machinery and made to lie in bed for three days, a prospect which is not as appealing as it sounds, while Carlisle ran all manner of tests in order to gauge exactly what my baby was. However after days of observation Carlisle concluded that the child was developing at a normal rate and my pregnancy posed no more risk to me than any other woman. Although that's not to say I was completely out of the woods for the most normal pregnancy has its risks, but at least I knew it wasn't definite that I should die.
Not that I was certain I could die. Would you test the theory if you were near indestructible?
And so Essie was born, having taken the usual nine months and she was a perfect ordinary little human baby and I was secretly pleased. I didn't want her to suffer this dark world I'd been chained to all my life. Not that I have any complaints, but I do often wonder what my life would have been had I not been born half vampire. If I'd had the chance to grow and learn at a normal rate and enjoy the folly of youth for a short time what person would I be now?
There was no use dwelling in 'what ifs' however, that way led to madness.
I smiled at my grandparents as Jake came to stand next to me with his arm around me.
"Shall we sit?" Carlisle asked, gesturing to a cluster of chairs.
We all sat down, three generations of the same family who looked around the same age. That should be four if I counted the life growing within me as we spoke. Mom and Dad were holding hands and watching me proudly, and Esme could not keep the glorious smile off her face every time she caught my eye. Carlisle however wore his professional smile; he was Dr Cullen for the time being.
"How far along do you think you are?" He asked.
This was hard to judge, because I had no regular cycle as it were. I ovulated when the best chance for fertilization presented itself. Through serious family discussion we concluded that this was to preserve the ovum since a woman was born with all the ones she'd ever have, weather she made use of them or not. This went a long way to explain why Leah and then her daughter had lost their regular cycle as soon as they phased, it was in order to preserve the genetic material for a future generation that was able to phase. It went hand-in-hand with what imprinting was for.
So I had to hazard a guess. Jake and I didn't have much time alone sine Jake was either working to provide for us or out keeping an eye on the Pack. And then there was the problem of an ever-present father-in-law and a sixteen-year old daughter who could hear a pin drop on the other side of the house. It limited your opportunities to be intimate while at the same time it made you extremely imaginative in finding places to sneak away to.
Until the Hannigans had moved in one of our favourite places was my old family home. Never in a million years would I admit to Essie, for it would be mortifying on both sides, but that was how we knew she had broken rule number one by taking her friends up to the house. I knew before I cornered Sammie, I knew she was most likely to inadvertently let slip about their morning jaunt, so it presented me with the best option to find out 'accidentally'.
Had it not been such a serious risk for her to be there then Jake and I would have let it slip, after all, bringing the house up at all may have led to her asking why our scents were there. However my Essie sometimes forgets to apply her brain when comes to risk assessment so I had to make her understand the house was strictly off limits. Especially since only the week previously I had received e-mail from Carlisle to say that his friend Tobias and his family were looking to settle down somewhere for a while and he would allow them to stay at the house if it was ok with the Pack.
Jake and the Pack agreed, although they lay down a few ground rules that the Hannigans had to agree to before they could even set foot in Forks. Therefore I knew that the house would no longer be safe for Essie to go to, it also took away a refuge for Jake and I, perhaps we should try the cottage?
My thoughts had wandered, what had the question been?
How far along did I think I was? Well that whole incident had been more or less a month ago, besides if I listened closely enough I could hear the little heart beat so that would put it just about right, so I relayed the information to Carlisle, sans the Essie incident.
After a few more preliminary questions it was time for the physical examination. It was one of the worse parts of this experience, being poked and prodded while you were in the most vulnerable position you could be. I went behind the screen and changed into a hospital gown. When I reappeared Jake, Edward and Esme had left the room. This I didn't mind, I had Mom for moral support and my doctor, that's all I wanted for this part of the procedure.
Through the examination Mom held my hand while I closed my eyes and tried not to think of it. It was soon over and I was able to dress back into my clothes while Dr Cullen wrote out some notes, reset the gurney and fired up the ultra sound machine.
I reappeared fully dressed and ready for the next part. The part that was magical and emotional despite the fact it was a little fuzzy blob on a dark screen. I made my way back to the gurney feeling happier about this bit. A lot happier.
"Shall I call them back?" Mom asked as I lifted my top above my stomach and Carlisle began to apply the gel, which always felt cold.
"Of course. They'll want to see this also." I answered.
Mom nodded and went to call them from the door. They arrived almost immediately and they all took seats around me on the opposite side of the gurney to the screen.
"Are we all sitting comfortably?" Dr Cullen asked.
Everyone agreed and hurried him along. We all wanted to see the first pictures. Dr Cullen applied the sensor to my stomach and moved it ever so slightly until the rhythmic beat emitted from the speakers.
"There's the heartbeat." He said cheerfully.
Then he moved it again ever so slowly until there on the screen was the fuzzy blob with the little dark pulsing spot that was the baby's heart. Mom and Esme sighed and I felt tears prick my eyes to finally see that I was indeed pregnant. I smiled at Jake and he held my hand and smiled back.
"Look Edward, our new grandchild." Mom crooned as she leant her head against his shoulder and he kissed the top of it.
Esme was looking at the screen in wide-eyed awe, her hands clasped in front of her mouth as if she were holding back tears. She was shaking her head slightly as if she couldn't quite believe it.
"Precious." She whispered. "Just like his big sister."
We spent another long moment watching the grainy image, but there is a limited time one can handle having ones top pulled up with gel on your stomach and I was nearing my limit. So Dr Cullen took the obligatory photograph before he removed the sensor and wiped it clean with blue paper towel. As he did that I took a handful of the paper towel myself to wipe the remainder of the gel from my stomach before getting down nimbly off the gurney.
As Carlisle tidied up Esme led us out of the ballroom come antenatal surgery and back down the stairs to a room behind the door.
It was decorated in the light colours that Esme loved and was fitted out with comfortable looking furniture. If squatters ever broke in here they would think they'd found a goldmine in abandoned comfort.
Jake and I sat on a two-seated sofa and he placed his arm around me. I leant my head against him and revelled in his heat. I smiled content, feeling like I was young Nessie again, rather than Renesmee the mother. This feeling was bolstered by the fact that my parents and my grandparents were also around me. I do miss them terribly and if it were not for the fact that Essie was at such a precarious stage in her life we would travel to visit them. If we only knew what she would become to satisfy the Volturi's paranoia then we could allow her the freedom she craved, but until that day we could trust no one with her secret.
If only it wasn't for old Mike Newton then my family would still be able to make their frequent, secret visits to the House, but since he had pointed out his suspicions it was best not to tempt fate. I wish they could visit, for Essie's sake as well as mine because she missed them dearly.
"So, will we see more of this grandchild than we do of Essie?" Dad asked suddenly and I shot him a dark look for I knew he had been prying in my mind.
"There's nothing stopping you from visiting." Jake said in a low voice.
"Perhaps if you allowed us into La Push we wouldn't have to worry about dodging the good people of Forks." Dad said testily.
"Yeah cause they're just queuing to look around the spooky old Cullen house." Jake said with a snort.
"We can not risk our presence there." Dad stated.
"But you can on the Res?" Jake demanded. "Anyway it's not my decision to make. It's up to the Pack and I'm sure they'll say no at the moment. They're all stressed out thanks to the new brood of leeches moving in."
"Why don't you just order them to accept us? You are the Alpha." Dad snapped.
"Edward!" Mom reprimanded.
"Make me Cullen." Jake growled.
"Jake!" I chastised.
Both men glared at each other while Mom and me exchanged glances. The thought that passed between us without telepathy was 'Men'.
"There is a simple solution to all of this." Carlisle interjected calmly.
We all looked at him expectantly.
"Perhaps we could arrange with the Hannigans a time when we could use the house. Since they are living there now it would not raise suspicions if there happened to be cars turning into the drive, if humans were to notice. The Hannigans need only imply that they have family visiting if they received questions over the incident." Carlisle said calmly.
"That would be great." I enthused. "Perhaps we could make the arrangements for Christmas. I know Essie misses you all greatly, and would love to see you all."
"We spend Christmas with the Pack." Jake grouched.
I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness.
"Jake." I chided. "We spend Thanksgiving with the Pack. Christmas we spend with our families, it's how we've always done it down on the Res. So stop being so argumentative."
"Ok, so say we set up this little shin-dig, how we gonna explain to the leeches why we're breaking bread with you? It's gonna look a bit suspicious." Jake said flatly.
And in that he had a very valid point. We had kept Essie a secret from the vampire world in general for if any word of her existence ever reached the Volturi…I could not contemplate such a thing. How would we explain why we were eating with the Cullens? How would we explain the family resemblances when we were in such close proximity and it became more apparent? Could we trust these Hannigans with such a secret?
"You have no need to fear the Hannigans." Dad said quickly. "They have as many reasons as us to keep the Volturi away."
"They have?" I asked.
"Most definitely." He assured me.
I thought hard on this for a moment, wondering what possible motive the Hannigans could have to keep the Volturi at bay. What possible secret could they have that would put their lives at risk if the Volturi ever learned of it. Then it came to me and I gasped.
"Ebony! You mean to tell me that Ebony is an illegal?" I asked incredulously.
Dad nodded.
My mouth dropped open in shock at this revelation.
"Which one of them did it?" I demanded, suddenly feeling enraged by our seemingly gentle neighbours. "Who is her father?" I clarified when my question was met with confusion.
"They have no idea." Mom answered.
"They found her when she was a baby wondering the streets alone seeking out blood." Esme added sadly. "They recognised what she was but couldn't bring themselves to turn her over to the Volturi, so they took her in and taught her our ways. It was an act of kindness for if the Volturi ever found her…"
"They would kill her." I finished.
We sat in silence as we all contemplated this. It was a similar fate that my Essie would face should the Volturi ever discover her existence. Even if they didn't kill her it would only be because Aro sought to make her his plaything. She would be an amazing trinket to add to his collection of the unique and best that he'd been building around himself for millennia.
Aro would truly covert such a unique creature as my daughter. She is the only one of her kind. My hand flew automatically to my flat stomach. For the next eight months at least, and then she would no longer be unique in her genealogy. Soon there would be another person who needed to be hidden from the view of the Volturi.
Perhaps having allies whose interests were mutual would be of great benefit. Perhaps we should confide our secret to them and extend our family one more step.
"Perhaps we should introduce ourselves to them a little better before we make any plans to impose ourselves at Christmas. Perhaps they have plans of their own." I pointed out. "Otherwise I see no problem with it. Jake?"
"I guess." Jake conceded with a sigh. "So Doc, what's the verdict?" He said, changing the subject quickly.
"Good news, all your readings seem to be in order. I would place you at being at least a month pregnant, and with that in mind we should be expecting an appearance in early May." Carlisle said with a smile. "I will reorganise my schedule for the next nine months so that you can have your check-ups at the relevant times."
I nodded my head in agreement.
"Now with that out of the way, how is young Esther these days?" Carlisle asked brightly.
"Trouble." Jake said as I said, "A handful."
The other four looked at us incredulously over our statements.
"She is a handful." I said, defiantly. "However, there is much she is going through at the moment. She is close to the change, that much is apparent. She has grown almost a foot this last month."
"How tall is she now?" Mom gasped.
"As close to six foot three as makes no difference." I replied. "Although I don't think she's realised she is that tall yet. Taller than she was perhaps, but not as tall as she is."
"Who does that sound like?" Mom asked with a snort and she nudged Jake on the arm.
"Nah. I always knew my height." Jake said unabashed. He sighed and sobered, becoming more serious. "She is close, actually I was so sure she was gonna phase a month ago, she had the feel about her. Hey, don't ask me, it's some weird wolfy sense, I just know when people are getting close to fursploding." He added the latter in response to the looks he received from the others.
"How interesting, I would like to hear more of this." Carlisle said in his eager knowledge hungry voice.
"Not today Doc, maybe at Christmas." He said with a grin.
"Jake!" I gasped.
Jake shrugged unabashed.
I couldn't help smile at the fact that Essie did that also, that slightly impish 'I'm not apologising for being myself' thing. That part of her nature truly came from Jake, and although it sometimes made her sound rude, it was amazing how often people took little offence by it. It most likely had a lot to do with her grin; it was hard to reprimand her when she wore it.
"Then I shall look forward to that conversation." Carlisle said unperturbed.
"How's Essie finding Forks High?" Mom asked.
"Ok, as far as I can tell. She complains about the Hannigans, but I think it's because she likes them but doesn't know if she can be her friend or not. You should have heard the fuss she made the other night at dinner when we did not pull her from the school because of the vampires."
"She threw a hissy-fit then stormed off without finishing her dinner." Jake said with a laugh.
I nodded my head with a smile, but it was a thin veil over the new layer of worry that incident had brought. For a moment that night my daughter had looked almost like a vampire, and the next morning she had complained of feeling cold. What was I supposed to make of that?
"Actually, I wouldn't call it a hissy-fit so much as searing anger. It was when we grounded her that she stormed off. Monday she actually asked to be excused." I amended.
"Oh yeah. Got mixed up there." Jake chuckled.
"Why did you ground her?" Mom asked.
"It's a long story." I said.
"We have time." Mom insisted with a smile.
"It was a combination of things. First of all she led all her friends up to the House, we don't like her going up there because some vampires get curious about your scents and want to investigate." I began.
"Of course. That's understandable." Carlisle said.
"So we limited her movements to the village and the beach. The very next day she had some altercation with Harry and ran into the forest."
"He kissed her when she didn't want him to." Jake interrupted.
"Really? She should have punched him." Dad said with mild amusement as he took Mom's right hand and kissed her knuckle.
Mom giggled while Jake looked away from them with shame for a past misdeed.
I shifted uncomfortably, I always felt slightly uneasy with these moments, when I was reminded that my husband had romantic longings for my mother before I was born. I had no desire to hear the stories more than once and it had not occurred to me to equate Essie's experience with that of Bella's, perhaps I had done so on purpose. Or perhaps it was because it was obvious that Essie and Harry would marry some day, they were madly in love with each other but both too stubborn or possibly confused to ever admit it.
"Essie never resorts to true violence." I said lowly. "Just the odd playful shoulder punch or scrapping with her friends, it never would have occurred to her to hurt Harry in such a way, so she ran off instead. She ran into the woods and after an incident with Mike Newton."
"What was he doing in the woods? I thought he was in a home in Port Angeles." Bella gasped.
"Young Mike Newton." I pointed out. "His grandson. Well after an incident with him and his girlfriend Essie then ran to the House. In her great wisdom she decided to go to sleep. She awoke to find vampires there."
"Oh no!" Esme gasped.
"It was only Masen and Holly." I assured her, although my initial reaction had been similar. "So our little Esther, darling that she is, convinced them to take her hunting. Well, you know what happens when she feeds."
"Her powers grow stronger." Carlisle observed.
I nodded my head.
"And then she is able to read minds." Dad said, a deep frown appearing as he tried to pry into the conclusion of this story.
"There were certain thoughts that Holly wished to keep to herself." I said tactfully.
"That she's been killing people." Jake said bluntly.
The four of them gasped, but then Mom's face settled into a dark scowl and I could read what she was thinking from her face. 'Well what would you expect from Victoria's daughter?'
Dad however looked angry with himself.
"How didn't I spot it?" He whispered.
"Masen didn't either." I said in reassuring tones. "But Essie did. She said that Holly kept it hidden where Masen couldn't see, but Essie saw it. When her ability is working her mind reading is the most powerful I've seen."
"Impressive." Carlisle gasped. "I would very much like to witness the extent of her mind-reading abilities."
"She's not a lab rat Doc." Jake muttered.
"Of course not." Carlisle said aghast. "I did not mean to imply she was one."
Jake, stop teasing him! I shot into his mind.
"I know Doc, just pulling your leg." Jake grinned.
I shook my head.
"So back to the story, Essie ran back to the border where she met Jake."
"It was kind of hard not to respond when she was calling out 'wolf girl in vamp trouble' into our minds." Jake said with a laugh. "I'm just glad it was me on that border. It could have been a lot worse if it had been one of the others. Holly would have been killed and then Masen would have been pissed at us, and would have probably attacked so that would have been the end of him. As long as he keeps the bitch away from us we won't kill her."
That was the most bothersome part of the whole experience. I would like nothing more than to hunt Holly down and exact revenge for even thinking of eating my daughter, she was her godmother for crying out loud. Holly had been one of my best friends. It was a friendship that had been deeply forged in our five-year road trip, but to do this?
Of course if I hunted her down and reduced her to ash then Masen would hurt and he would turn his anger on us, and I could not have Masen be darkened in such a way. It was my fault he became a vampire in the first place, what a gift to bestow upon the first friend I ever made outside of the world of the supernatural.
But as much as I loved Masen and valued his friendship I knew that if I ever saw that fiery haired harpy again, then nothing on this Earth would stop me from attacking her. She had scared my baby to death and threatened her life. That was unforgivable.
Mom placed her hand on top of mine and I looked up into her gold eyes.
"Masen would never let her harm Esther." She said solemnly.
"I know." I whispered. "It's just I feel…confused. She was my friend Mom. How could she do this? We trusted her and she was cheating all along. God knows how many people she killed when travelling with us." I shuddered at the thought.
We all fell into thoughtful silence.
"So that is why you grounded her?" Esme inquired.
I shook my head.
"For that little incident we restricted her movements to the area around the house. It was what happened that night that made us ground her fully." I said.
"What else did she do?" Mom asked, almost impressed by my daughter's list of misdemeanours.
"That night Harry came to her window and she snuck out. Jake found them the next morning sleeping on the beach." I said lightly.
They gave me looks that were hard to fathom but the message was clear, did they…
"They just slept, I am sure of that. Essie is too mindful of the whole imprinting business to risk her heart to Harry just yet." I assured them.
But still… Was the message now.
"Essie would never give herself over for cheap thrills, especially to the boy she is head-over-heels for but won't allow herself to feel for fear of future rejection. I know my daughter." I stated firmly.
"She's a handful but she's not promiscuous." Jake agreed. "They were just sleeping, but it was the look of the thing."
"So that's why we confined her to the house." I finished.
"Although we still let her friends in." Jake added grumpily, this was still a bone of contention between us.
"Only to cushion the blow when we finally told her the news, although I didn't need to in the end. She merely read it from my mind." I sighed.
"More or less." Jake conceded.
I nodded.
"Which news?" Mom asked.
"That she had to change schools, as you can imagine she was none too pleased, but she accepted her fate."
"Eventually." Jake added with a roll of his eyes.
"Have you told Essie about the baby?" Esme asked.
"No. I wanted to be sure first. In fact I have no idea how to tell her. Will she take it as good news or bad news? Will it add to the turmoil she appears to be struggling through at the moment. She seems to be lost in a sea of uncertainty and I fear this may be the thing that will force her under." I admitted despondently.
"But it might be just the thing to bring her out of it." Mom said brightly.
I shook my head in disagreement. "You didn't see her last night. Her face pale, her skin cold. And her dream…it was terrifying to think my baby girl sees herself in such a way. I would rather not add to the burden of that dream with a little baby for her to kill."
"She dreams of killing?" Mom gasped.
"Not dreams so much as nightmares. Her greatest fears played out in the theatre of her mind." I shook my head, unable to continue.
Mom gave my hand a gentle squeeze and Esme came and put her arm around my shoulder. I tried to draw comfort from them but the extent of my worry had just hit me. I feared for Essie and what the future held. I prayed that she could find some happy medium and not have to live in fear of either aspect of her being.
"I'm ok now." I said, after a moment.
My watch beeped and I looked down at the crystal display, it was five o'clock. "Besides we need to get going, I promised Essie we'd be back by eight or nine. I only left her sandwiches to eat, she's going to be hungry if we don't move it." I said, and rose to my feet.
We exchanged good-byes and Carlisle gave us a picture from the Ultra Sound, which I placed at the bottom of my purse. I wasn't quite ready to tell Essie yet and I didn't want her to find out by accident.
So Jake and I left my family once more, but I had the warm knowledge that I would see them for Christmas if all went to plan with the Hannigans. That made me happy and I thought of how Essie would react when she learnt that we would see them at Christmas, all of them. Jasper and Alice and Emmett and Rosalie as well, it had been just as long since I had last seen them.
This Christmas would be great and hopefully by then we would have more certainty about Essie's future. As the warm glow infused me I entwined my fingers with Jake's and revelled in having him all to myself for once as we sped back to La Push.
Perhaps the future wouldn't be so bad after all.
Thank you for reading, please feel free to review.
A/N 1: So what do you think Essie's reaction will be? I also confirmed a few things that Essie isn't certain of yet, so you now know some things that she doesn't : )
A/N 2: If you are curious about Masen and Holly, their histories are chronicled in 'Renesmee lost' and 'Holly Ivy a.k.a Victoria's Daughter' if you should like to read the full story of Esther then read 'Uncertainty'. Thank you : )
Gemma x