AN: Prompt number 32 - "when I lose myself I think of you".
I remember the first time I saw you, standing there in your long leather coat, pretending that you didn't care about the rain. Your friends were gathered round you, but you were the one that stood out. Maybe it was that unmissable red hair, maybe it was the attitude. I don't know. I do know that I hurried past you, head down, trying to keep my armful of books dry. I, as a student who actually wanted to study, was beneath your notice. Your little gang, the Organisation as we called it, was far too cool to do anything as menial as homework.
I remember the first time you spoke to me. You'd arrived to a lecture, late as usual, but the room was crowded. The only free seat was next to me. You asked if anyone was sitting there, and I said no. Later, you asked me my name, then repeated it, rolling the R. That was the first time I didn't hate my name. You told me you were called Axel, and somehow it suited you. It became a habit for you to sit next to me, and though we weren't exactly friends, we talked about stuff, shared notes and so on.
I remember the first time you took me clubbing. You'd spent the afternoon raiding my wardrobe, which was declared "totally unsuitable", then you'd lent me various items of clothing I would never have chosen, and forced me to wear them. I'd never been so embarrassed in all my life, but once we arrived at the club, I could see why you'd done it. I looked as though I fitted in, as though I actually belonged. I'd never belonged anywhere before. That same night was the first time you got me drunk. I never found out what was in those bright pink drinks you kept buying me – I've never touched one since. Throwing up in the alleyway while you held me and told me I'd be ok wasn't how I'd planned on ending the night.
I remember the first time you kissed me. It was the end of the summer term – we'd just finished our last exam. You grabbed hold of my hands and danced around the campus with me, ending up in front of our dorms. I wasn't expecting you to lean down and kiss me, but that's what you did. I never expected to want it, but I surprised myself by responding to the kiss, pulling you closer. I didn't even mind that other people were leaning out of the windows, catcalling. That was your influence – before I'd met you, all I wanted was to fade into the background, to be invisible. You'd made me more confident.
I remember the first time we made love. We'd both been home for the summer holidays, and missed each other dreadfully, not that we'd ever have admitted it. I didn't know what to do, and you weren't much more knowledgeable, but between us we figured it out and had a fantastic night. The rest of the dorm's inhabitants weren't too happy with us the next morning – we had been rather vocal about it.
I remember the first time you told me you loved me. We were in your room, curled up together in your bed. You thought I was asleep – I doubt you'd have said it otherwise. I think I was asleep until you spoke. It wasn't one of those flowery speeches that romance writers like to talk about – that's not our style. Just three simple words, "love you, Roxas". It was all I needed to hear, and far more than I'd expected. I whispered them back, using your name instead of mine, and you blushed nearly as red as your hair.
You didn't ask me to move in with you, and I didn't ask you either. It was just one of those things that happened naturally. We'd been spending every night together anyway, so finding a house to move into just seemed like the right thing to do. It was. That's one thing I will never regret, no matter how long I live. I often find myself thinking back on our lives together – the moments that shaped my life. When I lose myself like this, I think of you, because I can't imagine living without you.
AN: Fluffy Axel/Roxas - makes a change, for me. What did you think?