Author's Note: I saw 'MoonlightGardenias' "Count to Ten", and it inspired me to write my own version (Oh, by the way, read it, because it's great =P)
Anyways, so from what I understand, you put your music player on shuffle and write for the song and then stop when it finishes.
Okies, 1) I apologise for the weird and wonderful songs that I listen to. I did follow the rules so you know, some obscure shizz came out.
2) This is in no kind of order or anything, literally I just wrote whatever came to mind with the song. So sometimes, it's a little biased. E.g. There are a few Callie parts. =) But that's just what happened.
And it's not written for any particular time period in the show. Just you know, wherever I felt the song fitted. Oh, and I apologise for how angst-y it got in places, it was just what happened with the songs.
And this is my first Grey's-related fic ever, so please read and review. Tell me what you like, and what you don't. But be kind. I'm fragile. =P
'Hometown Glory'- Adele
"I've been walking in the same way, as I did..."
Owen found familiar and yet uncomforting territory in the streets of Seattle.
The sun was just bleeding through the night sky, and he realised he'd gone without sleep for another night. It was becoming nothing now. Almost habitual.
He sniffed, inhaling the morning air into his lungs and hoping that something about the new day would make him feel a little different for the first time in a while.
He came full circle back to Seattle Grace and knew that this was a place he felt at home: the drama and the urgency were a welcome break from the tempest of his thoughts. And at least the bombs that were dropped here were metaphorical.
But he passed it, knowing that he needed to find a haven away from that place.
And he found it in the cold, unwelcoming and yet completely inviting doorstep to the place where she lived.
The only person that made him feel human, and not just hollow.
And when she sat down next to him, and looked at him with a tired and accepting gaze, he knew why.
"I ain't lost... Just wandering..."
---
'Where I Stood'- Missy Higgins
"Because she will love you... More than I could..."
Callie led in bed, and allowed herself to look at the empty side that stretched out before her.
She usually faced the wall.
The wall was solid.
The wall was something to lean on. Something that was yet to fall down around her, like everything else.
But today, she stared out into the quilted emptiness that Erica had left her with.
She wondered if Erica was thinking about her. If Erica had looked for comfort in others as she had.
And a small part of her, a fraction, prayed that she hadn't. Prayed that she had been the only one that Erica could open up to. The only one who could make her see.
And the selfish part of her left the bed, as she wiped the tears from her cheek and hoped that Erica found love. That she found 'New Glasses' that would make her see even clearer.
"She who dares to stand where I stood..."
---
'Cut'- Plumb
"You did that to yourself?"
"Well... No... Someone else did it."
Mark lifted up Lexie's arm, and ran a finger over one of the scars, "You're insane..."
She thought about it for a second before nodding, "Yeah... Kinda..."
He kissed her nose, and gazed into her innocent and adoring eyes; he lifted the same arm and kissed along the marking he had just traced with his finger.
She wrinkled her nose, and laughed, making him stop and take in how adorable she was.
And she was adorable.
He smiled,
"You need to get out of my head, Little Grey..."
---
'My Skin'- Natalie Merchant
"I'm the slow-dying flower..."
Izzie looked at Alex through blurred eyes, she had finally made her way back into the hospital after cutting the wire, but maybe this was all too much.
"You alright, Iz?"
She nodded a little too enthusiastically, wiping her eyes with her wrists.
"Hey... Come on." He placed a much-needed arm around her shoulder, "What's going on?"
"Everyone's looking at me..." He made out through her hushed tone, "Like I'm gonna fall apart."
She wiped a blonde wave out of her eyes, and looked down at her food, pulling apart a bread roll and thinking about how Denny would never comfort her in this way. She'd never feel warmth from him again.
"They know I'm going to fall apart."
"So prove them wrong..." She looked up at him, and his face was full of reassurance and an understanding that she had never noticed in Alex before, "They think you're gonna fall apart... Prove them wrong."
"I've been treated so wrong. I've been treated so long... As if I'm becoming untouchable."
---
'Lost'- Michael Bublé
"I hardly recognise the girl you are today, and God I hope it's not too late..."
Callie wandered dark, empty corridors by herself- traipsing through the echoes that she caused with her tired, heavy footsteps.
"Torres?"
She recognised that voice; that deep, unquestioning voice usually laced with a smirk, but this time only with concern.
Her face was blank, the circles under her eyes dark and embedded into her tanned face. The week without sleep had turned her healthy complexion ashen and her voice meek.
Her eyes stayed to the ground as she carried on walking, the voice falling behind her and landing on the recently shined floor.
"Callie?"
She turned at the mention of her first name, and saw the warming eyes of one Mark Sloane boring into her own. Her face creased as she allowed silent tears to fall, and he ran to catch her as she collapsed to the floor, his arm hooking around her waist and guiding her down steadily.
She gasped in air, her mouth contorting in desperation, "She left me, Mark..."
His face reacted subtly into her hair as he continued to stroke her back and let the tears soak through his shirt.
"I'm broken..." She whispered into his chest.
He placed his hands at her face, and his thumb traced the tear-stains, as he looked into her eyes,
"Then I'll fix you..."
"And we'll get lost together..."
---
'My World'- Three Doors Down
"My world's bigger than your problems... And it's bigger than me..."
"Cristina..." Meredith followed her into a dark, empty meeting room, "Cristina!"
"Meredith-" She snapped around, "Meredith, I came in here to breathe. Let me breathe..."
"Are we ever going to talk again?"
"We've talked." Cristina shrugged, facing away from her.
"No, you said my ponytail looked ridiculous. That's an insult... An insult's like breathing to you. It doesn't count."
"Meredith-"
"I need you Cristina... And I'm sorry that I didn't stand up for you before... But I need you..." Cristina turned to face her, "I don't know if you need me... But the selfish part of me doesn't care. Because I need you..."
She stepped forward a little, and then rubbed her face stepping back into the shadows of the room. Not ready to move yet. Meredith noticed a tear stream down her face, though she would never mention it. And Cristina had wiped it away as quickly as it came.
"Cristina?"
"I have to go." And she went to make her way out of the room, feeling an arm on her shoulder that made her flinch away.
"Cristina!" She yelled, "I'm sorry you missed out on the solo surgery, I am. But-"
"This isn't about the solo surgery anymore!" She shouted, and anger had replaced the tears in her eyes, she leaned in whispering, as if the admission made her weaker, "Today is the anniversary of my dad's death..." Meredith took a step back, "Now, I know you have the dead mommy issues and the daddy-left-me complex. But I have things too. My own things." She went to leave once more, stopping in the doorway, and talking in hushed tones over her shoulder, "I heard you, Meredith... But I need to breathe..."
Meredith nodded to her back and watched her as she walked out. Her eyes landed on two blue ones that had obviously watched their argument and were now desperately trying to hide that fact.
"Did you know?"
"No..." He mumbled, walking away.
---
'Like A Man Possessed"- The Get Up Kids
"I'm just craving for a cure..."
Derek threw himself against the wall, sliding down it and making fists with his hands as he rubbed his eyes.
"Derek," A feminine voice uttered, "Derek?"
He looked up and wished for a different face, "Rose..." he breathed out, smiling in that way she had grown accustomed to.
Lukewarm.
"Lose another one?" She said, in the kind of tone without pleading or enthusiasm, without harshness or emotion, just fact. Just a question.
He nodded, unable to form the words in his mouth. He was sick of saying them. Sick of not having an excuse anymore.
"Why am I still doing this?" He whispered.
And the two shared a glance.
And both knew what hadn't been said:
For her. You're still doing this for her.
The silence choked the two of them, until Rose ventured with her stockpile lie- a lie that was more for herself than anyone else. It was the kind of lie that had truth embedded in it, but not the whole truth: "Because you want to save lives..."
"Yeah..."
---
'Coffee and Cigarettes"- Michelle Featherstone
"I must quit you..."
"This isn't right, anymore... It wasn't ever right. But I- I let it feel right."
"And now? What about now?"
"And now... I need you to go... I need you to leave." Tears trickled down her face and chin, and dampened her shirt, "I need you to go. Just go..."
"I can't, Izzie..." He mumbled.
"You can!" Her small fists pounded at his chest, "Please... Please, go." She pushed him back, "I have a life! I'm in love..."
She watched his heart break.
His heart that wasn't beating anymore.
"With Alex... I'm in love with Alex."
He looked down at the floor, "I know you are..."
"The go..."
"I can't."
"I was in love with you, and then you died. And I grieved."
"I know you did!"
"I grieved, Denny..." She whispered, "I need you to go... Please... Just go."
"I can't!"
"Why not?!" She screamed back.
He caught her arms, and looked her in the eyes.
"You know why..."
"I thought my problems would just dissipate... And all my pain would be in yesterday..."
---
'The Walk'- Imogen Heap
"I feel a weakness coming on..."
"Mark... No..."
"Why not?" His voice was filled with a weakness she had never heard before,
"You have Lexie..."
"I want you, Torres..." She felt strong hands holding onto her shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. Face all that she was feeling. All she had been feeling for a while now.
"You can't always get what you want..." She smiled, attempting to alleviate the situation, and pulling away from his grip.
"And what do you want?"
"I want- I want- I don't want to feel like this..." Her eyes were glassy, her voice timid.
His mouth was on hers, his hands in her hair, his smile against her lips.
They pulled apart, "I don't want to feel like this..." She whispered again, shaking her head, before taking in his touch once more. Succumbing to the taste that she had had many times before, but had never allowed herself to savour.
He smiled again, in a way that was more of the Mark variety she had previously experienced, "Feels pretty good, though, right?"
"I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault..."
---
'Everything'- Lifehouse
"And how can I stand here with you... And not be moved by you?"
And her hand touching his face was as cleansing and purifying as the water that beat down on him, possibly more so.
Within seconds of bearing his soul and the rawness that came with that, she had given him a new skin. New layers of hope and redemption to cover his naked bones.
Too exposed was he at that point to maintain eye contact or try to reach out for her.
And that was okay.
Cristina was the bridge across their two bodies that Owen was too frightened to cross. And so afraid to burn.
And inevitably, when their usual hardcore selves would return and step in place of these momentarily weak versions, they would have to live in the after of this confession.
And neither were prepared.
Not in the gloved, sterile, textbook way they were accustomed to being with everything else in their lives.
He finally looked up and his sad eyes met her caring ones, as they both allowed themselves to feel.
Unashamed.
Unguarded.
Just for a minute.
"You're all I want. You're all I need. You're everything."
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