A/N: This was a one-shot request from; 'Tairbear22' on Quizilla, I'd typed this AGES ago and reading over it I was aghast at how terrible it was, the grammar and spelling made me cringe! So I edited it, actually, I think re-wrote is the correct word I would use. It was that bad! :P Anyway, please enjoy this modern and better version! :)
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Naruto. If I did, well, it wouldn't drag on half as long as it has, there would be no fillers and Sasuke would have kicked off his bloody pedestal by now ;)
"What Has He Got That I Don't Have?"
It was true that love was unusual.
Taya for one, was fed-up with how much misery the silly emotion could cause, she couldn't understand how she was so unlucky in love.
Was it her looks? Her unique sense of humour? Her unusual fighting style?
She had no idea and for a while she had felt lonely, longing to feel the company of someone she could love and trust completely without that little voice in the back of her head working overtime with its theories and accusations.
She sighed wistfully as she rested against a tree, staring at the stars in the dark sky, wishing that she were at home in her comfy bed and dreaming of things she wouldn't ever possibly achieve in this lifetime or probably any other.
A twig snapped, her head turned immediately to her right, sensing a presence, she saw a shadow of a man loom for a couple of seconds, before he stepped out into the open light of the moon. It was none other than Shikamaru.
His usual bored expression which only ever changed to that of sleep-deprived or annoyance always made Taya smile, but even when in the most troubling situations, she found it lost its appeal.
She often wondered if he ever felt any other emotion since he always acted aloof and uninterested in the world and the problems of others.
He'd even been accused of being insensitive, though that really wasn't true.
He waved a hand idly at her and muttered "Sorry for startling you."
She nodded in recognition.
He took that as an obvious sign that he was forgiven and moved next to her, sitting down upon the grass of the small glade; he stared at her for a few seconds.
Their gazes eventually met and then he let out a long, bored sigh and shuffled to lay down next to her, arms behind his head, staring at the sky-just as she was.
When did he ever change?
Never, and that's why she liked him…a lot.
He wasn't a complete jerk like Sasuke was, although for most of her childhood she-along with so many other girls had a huge crush on Sasuke, Shikamaru was different.
He was thoughtful and intelligent, although many others believed him to be lazy and insensitive, Taya had always noticed the sudden twitches of emotion on his face when something terrible or shocking had happened, when really, he might as well have been sobbing.
She knew that she was special to him as well, perhaps not in the romantic way, but she was special all the same.
Taya and Sasuke were born on the same day-sharing each others' birthdays, they were childhood friends, they grew-up together, and back then, Sasuke smiled all the time, despite his older brother; Itachi out shining everyone around him, making it harder for Sasuke to find any praise for his hard efforts.
But Taya realised that things changed for the worse when Itachi had killed almost his entire clan and left only Sasuke alive, and then disappeared into the night, never to be seen or heard from again…well, until about over a year ago, but still, she never got the chance to really catch a glimpse of what Itachi looked like now, she wouldn't care to see him anyway.
It'd only ever been Sasuke for her, and once he'd left the Leaf village for ultimate power, she'd become the pathetic nuisance that Sakura Haruno had become to everyone else.
Oh, how Taya begged for Sasuke to not leave her behind, to allow her to help him, but she realised deep down, even before he'd told her he was leaving that he was beyond help, even hers, the past had driven him to insanity and caused him to think and act recklessly, thus, deciding to join Orochimaru.
The thought of that slimy creep being in the same room as Sasuke, or even the mere thought of Orochimaru being anywhere near herself, made her skin crawl.
He was a vile man, and upon her brief meeting with him on the mission they'd just returned from, caused her to skip dinner that evening.
The rumours had been true, he'd been as disgusting as others said he was, and although she admired the way Orochimaru based most-if not all his jutsu's connected to snakes, she had to Orochimaru a little credit. He was knowledgeable with an almost never-ending arsenal of jutsu at his disposal…even if he did creep her out a lot.
Clearly, Sasuke had the common sense to find someone with great power to tutor him, but it'd all been for the wrong reasons.
Taya glanced briefly over at Shikamaru; he was staring at her again with those dark eyes of his, his expression almost unreadable save for that one emotion that she couldn't quite make out. His intense stare soon began to make her feel self-conscious.
She knew she had nothing on her face and she could tell by the far-away look in his eyes that he was looking at her, but he wasn't really seeing her. His mind seemed to be preoccupied by something else.
"Why are you staring at me?" She asked, wondering what would make him so thoughtful all of a sudden, although he'd been quiet in his thinking, he hadn't been this intense.
He didn't even blink, he seemed completely unfazed by her question, though he answered with that scratchy voice of his "Your eyes…they're shining like those stars…"
He turned his head away and looked back at the stars silently, leaving questions rushing through her mind in a frenzy of confusion, her cheeks were warm.
For many years others had always complimented her eyes, saying they were the most beautiful shade of baby blue that anyone had ever seen.
It was strange, for she didn't get her eyes from her parents, though they insisted that it'd been one of her grandparents that had such lovely eyes.
Apparently it was one of those things that skipped a generation.
But to have Shikamaru staring at them…
Well, it put a whole new prospective on things, especially since this was the first time she'd ever caught him staring at her eyes.
Once, years ago, herself and Sasuke had a small argument and they parted on less than slightly good terms, she'd ran off to find somewhere to cry and be alone for a while, after all, she was an only child and her parents were constantly away on missions, leaving her all alone and despite being close to some of the girls in the Leaf village, she felt she didn't have a special bond of her own. She wanted to have that special someone that she knew would always be there for her no matter her mood and the situation.
She'd felt isolated from others, she knew that one of the only reasons that her and Sasuke ever became friends was because they were introduced to each at such a young age and naturally, they'd fallen into a sense of normality with each other.
Accepting the others presence just because they were always there. Not because they wanted too.
In a way, they'd never really been friends, at least, not as close as they could've been.
And now, she'd lost Sasuke over to Orochimaru, even now she sometimes felt that familiar sting of pain, reminding her that she should've done more to support or to understand him, but she hadn't.
Her childhood had been filled with her own selfishness and longing for someone-anyone to just look her way and notice her.
It was a little strange how similar emotions she'd felt compared to Naruto.
Both of them had been alone, but unlike Naruto, she was accepted within the village and no one bothered her, whilst Naruto had gotten attention-in the wrong way. She'd received none at all.
And then her parents had died, leaving her an orphan and her world had become more silent.
On the night that Sasuke had left the village, she had confessed to him because the pain she felt was unbearable, even more so when she realised that it was a false claim, she didn't really love him, she just needed him; she'd needed someone to stay with her and acknowledge her.
It'd taken them both by surprise at what she'd admitted in the heat of the moment, she hadn't thought she'd ever have the courage to confess to anyone and when she had, it'd been the wrong guy and someone she held no romantic feelings for.
Even so…he'd stared at her with those uncaring, cold eyes of his and told her he could never love anyone ever again.
It'd broken her heart, to realise how much Sasuke had been hurting and like her, how alone he was in the world, to see how hollow his eyes had become.
Despite that, she'd known it'd been coming, girls had been throwing themselves at his feet for years, proclaiming their obsessive love towards him, when he'd been struggling to move on from the past and come to terms with who he was and what he would become if he'd remained.
Still, it'd been a harsh blow, it'd knocked her confidence and made her feel needy and pathetic, she hated those emotions more than anything else.
It'd been in cold light of the next morning that she'd awoken, remembering the Sasuke's departure the night before, she'd ran off, almost making her own rash decision to leave the village as well, the village that held so many painful memories, the same village that had no one waiting for her to come back home too.
It'd been Shikamaru that'd found her, sat beneath a tree just a little outside the village; crying.
Of course he'd heard of Sasuke's departure, everyone had, gossip had circulated throughout the village and within the hour, everyone citizen in the village knew of Sasuke's defection.
Shikamaru comforted her, made her feel better and listened to everything that'd happened and had been said between herself and Sasuke.
In the end, despite hating the idea of being pathetic and needy, she'd admitted that she felt even more lonely now that her childhood friend-possibly the last person that was close to her, had left her because he believed that he couldn't achieve power in his own time, whilst relying on others.
Shikamaru had sighed heavily, leaning back on the ground he'd stared at the clouds in the sky and asked "What has he got that I don't have?"
It'd almost sent her into a state of utter confusion and surprise that he'd asked or would even say such a thing out loud.
The Shikamaru everyone else was used too never doubted his capabilities, never cared for girls and being popular, never cared for barely anything, apart from playing 'Shougi', watching the sky and sleeping in until lunchtime.
Silence had been his answer, since back then, she hadn't known what to say; had barely understood what it was that he was admitting and even to this day, the question still remained unanswered, as if it were a taboo to even mention it aloud.
But from then on, Shikamaru was always there for her, more than Sasuke had ever been, he was supportive of her in small doses, he helped her in battles and many other situations, always talked more openly to her than others-apart from Chouji and his late Sensei; Asuma and he never seemed bothered by her presence or anything she had to say.
He was more of a friend to her than Sasuke had ever been.
"Do you regret it?" He asked quietly from where he laid, startling her out of her thoughts, she quickly looked at him, his expression was serious and he was staring at her again.
"Regret what?" She asked in a whisper, she wondered if he'd heard her, for he remained silent for some minutes.
She was about to ask again, until his face turned away from hers and stared at the stars in the dark sky "Do you regret not trying so much to win Sasuke over? That you didn't get him to change his mind?"
So, that's what he meant.
Their previous mission had entailed herself, Shikamaru, Yamato and Kakashi to go and search for Sasuke's where-a-bouts or any clues to hint as to where he had been or was heading too.
During a break, they'd stumbled upon a small cabin of sorts, which from the outside seemed deserted, it had been more than suspicious to find something so recently built and left untouched out in the middle of nowhere.
When they'd gone to investigate it further, they'd found that there was a hidden lair beneath the cabin and that'd when Orochimaru himself had come out to greet them.
Kakashi and Yamato were kept busy with Orochimaru, fighting and trying to interrogate him at the same time.
And then Sasuke appeared, he'd looked completely different, gone was the child-like confidence and in-place was a cold-hearted wannabe avenger.
He'd noticed them and upon Orochimaru's orders, he'd run off, only to be closely followed by Shikamaru and herself.
Eventually, Sasuke grew tired of running and stopped in a small clearing, the sun of the warm afternoon shining over him, he turned to face them with an indifferent expression.
"Tell me, how long has it been since we late met?" Sasuke asked in mock interest.
"Too long, so I take it you're still obsessed with Orochimaru's 'ultimate power'?" Shikamaru asked on a low, bored voice that caused Sasuke to glare darkly at him.
Shikamaru returned the glare.
"You wouldn't understand. No one does." Sasuke stated, giving a careless flick of his head, allowing his short hair to blow in the small breeze.
"Still spouting the same crap, eh?" Shikamaru yawned now, emphasizing his boredom and his thoughts on how ridiculous Sasuke was to ever leave the village, just to train with a wanted criminal.
Sasuke ground his teeth for a moment, then smirked loudly, staring past Shikamaru, he stared at Taya and asked in a sickeningly sweet voice "And how are you Taya? Still weak as usual? Still hopelessly in love with me?"
Sasuke cackled to himself, though there was no humour behind it, he was clearly forcing himself to put on a show for them.
Shikamaru glanced at Taya who hadn't flinched away from Sasuke's hard stare, she just watched a calm air of indifference and confidence about herself and ignored Sasuke's moment and blatantly obvious attempt to rile her up.
Taya pushed a hand through her long, curly brown hair and answered casually "I'm fine, getting stronger and the young boy I used to love died over two years ago."
That caught Sasuke's attention, for now he looked at her with mild interest, leaning against a tree, he knew they wouldn't fight him, as they hadn't planned to do so anyway and he wasn't interested in a fight himself.
"Hmm, how did this young boy die?" Sasuke asked aloud, looking away from Shikamaru's scornful look and over at Taya, whom remained calm throughout it all.
"He became fixated on revenge, he then left the village and later died; all alone." Their gazes locked, his Sharingan flashed dangerously at the corners of his eyes, before he looked away and smirking.
He jumped up into one of the trees, he answered in mock sympathy "I'm sorry to hear that, but that is the way of Shinobi. You win some, you lose some."
Orochimaru suddenly appeared in the tree next to Sasuke, he too, smirked down at them.
Shikamaru and Taya readied themselves for a fight, Sasuke may not be interested in fighting them, but that didn't mean Orochimaru was of the same mind.
"I can confidently say that we won't meet each other again. Farewell." Sasuke stated, his face returned to the unemotional mask that it had always been, except it was glacial in temperature compared to the rather soft-hearted mask he wore years before.
Taya and Shikamaru launched four kunai and shuriken aimed for Orochimaru; hoping to distract the Snake-nin and capture Sasuke in Shikamaru's shadow-binding technique, so that they could talk to Sasuke some more.
That would've been the case if they hadn't disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving no trace of them behind.
The shuriken and kunai embedded themselves into the tree where Orochimaru was once stood.
Shikamaru cursed loudly, whilst Taya stared at the floor with down-cast eyes, all-in-all, they were both disappointed with their ability to not persuade Sasuke to come back with them or in the very least open up to them about what he planned to do.
Despite that, they both knew they were no match for both Sasuke and Orochimaru at the same time; it would've been suicide and at that moment they could be anywhere.
But even if Sasuke agreed to return to the village with them, he wouldn't be the same, nothing could return to the way things once were, his hate for his brother was much stronger than any bond he'd formed with the people of the village. He would still seek to gain power no matter the cause.
And Orochimaru would definitely not give up trying to get Sasuke for himself; he needed him for a vessel.
It was a hopeless cause, which poor Naruto would still keep going after, the Kyuubi vessel just didn't know when to quit.
Sasuke is gone for good; he'd gone to so much effort to betray those around him so that he could leave and gain power and once his goal has been achieved why would he bother coming back to the very village that he defected from in the first place?
He also wouldn't be welcomed back with open arms by everyone.
They were later joined by Kakashi and Yamato, who both had, after a tedious battle with Orochimaru, searched around the underground hide-out to find clues of any future plans or destinations of Orochimaru's.
They'd found nothing, apart from some sealing scrolls, rooms with beds and candles, chairs and left over food, nothing else could be found.
It was most likely that they'd only stayed in that lair for a few nights at most perhaps to re-supply or rest.
It made them all feel disheartened and the mission had been a big failure, still, it'd shown a new side to Sasuke that Taya had thought she wouldn't find, and now, she was against getting Sasuke back to the village.
It was hopeless, he wasn't the same and although she could now understand the pain and what it was like to lose relatives, she just couldn't believe someone would be so incredibly selfish as to cause misery to everyone around him. Taya decided she now wanted nothing to do with Sasuke ever again.
She had no time for those that chose to hurt their friends.
If it meant being sent on a mission to help others fight against Orochimaru-she wouldn't hesitate, but as for finding Sasuke, he could be anywhere now and she no longer felt the same about him anymore.
In a way it was true, the young boy she'd spent her childhood with was dead. That Sasuke will never return. It'd take a miracle for that to happen.
Even if Naruto succeeded in changing Sasuke's opinion and views on the world and his life, it didn't mean it'd be worth anything. In the end, Sasuke was incredibly naïve to manipulate and Orochimaru had played upon his emotions extremely well; convincing him that there was nothing more out there for him but his revenge.
It was about time that she moved on with her life as Sasuke seemed to have moved on with his.
Coming out of her thoughts she finally answered "I don't regret it. Not anymore. He's too far out of mine and possibly anyone else's reach. Perhaps…he'd always been that way…"
Taya sighed wistfully to herself; it did feel good to admit such a thing, to get it off of her chest.
He looked at her briefly then let out a small sigh; he smiled and stated "That's probably for the best. Even if we could get Sasuke to change his mind, his heart wouldn't be in it, he'd always want to kill his older brother, and then there's the matter of fighting Orochimaru and keeping him away from Sasuke. It's all so confusing and at times hopeless. But I'm willing to help Naruto defeat the Akatsuki and Orochimaru and see if we can get Sasuke back...for his sake, if for nothing else."
Taya bit her bottom lip and muttered "It is heartbreaking to watch Naruto push himself cos he believes he can change Sasuke, but we all know deep-down that he will never come back. His decision is final. Even if we were to defeat Orochimaru, it wouldn't stop Sasuke and the hate that he's held inside of him will just cause more harm than good. We'd lose so many people if we kept trying."
Shikamaru turned to face her and muttered quietly "Would you be one of those people to lose someone you love?"
Taya met his gaze, her breathing increased from how close he was, it was strange how he had that affect on her.
"Not if I can help it. But fate has such a twisted way of playing with others' lives, if I were to die tomorrow, I think the only regret I would have, would be not living my life fully, that I weren't able to find my significant other…sometimes, I think it's all hopeless…" She muttered darkly as she stared at his equally dark eyes.
She saw him hesitate, before slowly moving towards her and pressed his cool lips to hers in a small, shy kiss, which seemed to have ceased all matter of time.
They were both blushing heavily and when he pulled away, his hand went out and held hers tightly in his own as he replied "It doesn't have to be that way."
Taya couldn't help the smile that stretched her lips, she understood what he was saying, what he was offering.
"What has he got that I don't have?" He suddenly asked that same question from many years ago, it startled her, but this time she had an answer for him, for she now understood the question fully.
"He has nothing. He may want revenge, he'll probably achieve it in the end, but at what cost? He'll no longer have any friends, no home and no one that he can spend the rest of his life with. He's cut himself off from everyone and it's all his fault," she smiled at Shikamaru and continued "compared to him, you're a king. You have a family; friends, a home..." her voice became quiet as she whispered "and you also have me."
His dark eyes shone with admiration and love as they gazed intensely at each other, she knew then that he also understood what she was offering as well.
A minute later, he pulled her into a hug; stroking her back, he muttered "I love you, Taya, I guess I always have, but I didn't wish to say anything because I know how close you were to Sasuke…but now I can see that doesn't matter anymore. I won't ever wonder what he has, because I have almost everything I could ever want."
She relaxed against him and sighed lightly, then asked quietly "And what else is there that you want?"
He was silent for a few minutes and all she could hear was the light summer's breeze picking up around them, their breathing and his heart beating wildly against his chest.
"I want to defeat the Akatsuki and help my friends anyway I can. Despite his bravado, Naruto needs support and I'm willing to support him for as long as he needs it. Otherwise…my life is virtually complete." His answer came deeply and spoke of the truth.
She smiled to herself and stated "I love you too, Shikamaru and I'll help you in any way I can. Where ever you go, I go. Sasuke is history to me. You are my future."
They both suddenly laughed at how cheesy that sounded, then laying in each other's arms, they both fell asleep, knowing that although their mission was a failure, their future was bright as long as they had each other.
From a little away hidden in the trees, Kakashi and Yamato gave each other a knowing look, laughing quietly to themselves, they went off to sleep by the small fire that was slowly dying whilst muttering "Ah, to be young!"
~The End~
A/N: In the famous words of Bugs Bunny; 'Well, there you have it folks!' :) I have to say that this edited version is a lot better than the original. And many thanks to those that have already reviewed; you know who you are! :D
!REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!