This story takes place sometime between The Prophecy and The End. It is RaexRob. It is also my first fanfic (yeah I know everyone says that, but it is).
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
Raven sighed and stared quietly at the stars that dotted the ebony sky above. The moon spilled its pale light across the rooftop like blood, and pooled around the sorceress' still form. She had been coming here, to sit, bathed in the moon's ashen rays for weeks now. The nightmares wouldn't let her stay away. They kept her from the comfort of her bed, the soothing calm and quiet of her room. This was the only place that she was safe from the cold black tendrils of fear they wound around her aching heart. The nightmares never failed anymore, and they were always the same.
Laughter would burst from Raven's smiling lips, as she took in the sight before her. Everyone she cared for, everyone she loved, everyone that made her life worth living, and struggling though surrounded her. They were all there, Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Arella,...even some of the monks of Azarath. For the first time, Raven felt truly, and blissfully happy. She wondered if her heart would burst with it as she looked from smiling face to smiling face. Suddenly, their smiles seemed to shatter, and their faces blurred. Fires swept across the land, and buildings crumbled. Tormented screams filled her ears as she fell to her knees. Horrified, she looked at the cold, lifeless statues that surrounded her, grimaces of agony etched across their faces for all eternity. The screams that still echoed around her shifted, and became a slow, mocking laugh. A laugh that filled her with terror. She whipped around, to see the arrogant, languid figure behind her, Slade. Anger burned white hot through her veins, galvanizing Raven into action. A cry of rage flew from her lips, as she gathered her power for a killing blow. She leapt forward, but as she moved, things shifted again. The laughter deepened, and became harsher. The ground beneath her rumbled with the laughter, and it seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. Slade opened his eye, but instead of the single baleful eye, there were four, each glowing a menacing red. And instead of Slade, she faced the one person she feared above all others, her father, Trigon. He tossed her attack harmlessly aside, and with a sinister smile, returned the favor, with a blast of his own pernicious, scarlet energy. Raven's eyes widened in shock, as she felt the force of the blow knock her backwards, and her vision faded to black.
That was when she would wake up, heart racing, covered in sweat, and the sheets tangled about her long, graceful legs.Raven realized that she was starting to drift towards sleep, and pushed the images from her mind. She swiftly got up, and quietly made her way down the stairs towards the kitchen. A cup of herbal tea would help keep her awake. When she neared her teammate's rooms, she fazed through the floor, so they wouldn't hear her booted feet. She walked quietly, but she didn't want to take any chances. She knew from experience that Robin was an especially light sleeper. A few weeks ago, she had woken up from an especially vivid nightmare with a strangled scream. Raven had begun to meditate in order to purge the fear and anger from her veins in her nightmare's wake. Her meditation however, had been interrupted a few minutes later by a hesitant knock on her door.
"Raven? Are you okay?" concern colored Robin's sleep laden voice "I thought I heard you scream." Raven scrambled to come up with an appropriate excuse.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just...fell off my bed is all." The excuse had sounded fake and ridiculous even to her.
"Well, if you need to talk about anything, I'm always here for you." Raven knew that he wasn't buying her excuse, but was glad that he wasn't going to push her for the truth. She said nothing, and sighed in relief when she heard his soft footsteps receding slowly down the hall. She knew if she wanted to keep him from prying, she would have to be more careful though. So the next night, she had made her way to the roof instead. She knew it was unhealthy to loose so much sleep. She knew she was pushing her body too hard. She was also painfully aware that her performances during battle were starting to falter. Nothing too bad yet, but she had made mistakes. Careless mistakes that she should have known better than to do. But she couldn't bring herself to go back and risk the nightmares again. Her thoughts continued to wander as she made her tea. A few minutes later, she took a cautious sip of the steaming liquid and turned to go back up to the roof. She raised her eyes, only to find a pair of masked eyes staring back into her own. Shock registered momentarily on her features, just long enough for her to drop her newly made mug of tea. The ceramic shattered noisily on the floor, and she winced. I should have caught that she scolded herself silently.
"What are you doing up?" she asked harshly, using her power to clean up the mess in one swift movement.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Robin replied. Raven continued to glare at him though, so Robin sighed and continued, "I was training in the practice room."
Raven squinted at the clock before giving an incredulous reply, "You were training at 3:26 in the morning?"
Robin raked a gloved hand through his perpetually unkempt hair. "Yeah. I couldn't sleep after what happened today. I wasn't ready for him this time, so I plan on being prepared for the next time he shows up, no matter what,"He said tersely. Confused, Raven tried to figure out just what he was talking about. The day before came back to her in a rush. The mysterious Red-X had made another appearance. It had been a furious battle, but X had gotten a lucky break, and managed to escape with the high-tech weapons he had been trying to pilfer. No one had said anything to her, but she knew that she was part of the reason that he had gotten away. She had felt guilty for letting her friends down, but not bad enough to make her change her ways. Robin's obsessive nature had been calmed somewhat after the apprentice incident, but not completely. It only made sense that Robin would be worried about the villain. X had always been able to push all of Robin's buttons, second only to Slade. With that thought, Raven promptly snapped her attention back to the present. She was uncomfortably aware that Robin was looking at her strangely. Belatedly, she realized that he must have been talking to her while she was lost in thought.
"Raven, I asked you what you were doing up." Robin said, his eyebrows knitting together with worry.
"I was thirsty, I wanted some tea," She replied defensively, trying and failing to sound nonchalant. She tried to brush past her leader, but his arm shot out to block her path.
"At 3:26 in the morning?" he shot her words back at her. "I know there's more than that to this. We're all worried about you Raven, I'm worried about you. You've been acting strangely lately, and I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's been bothering you."
"It's nothing," she muttered darkly, trying once again to make it past him. His arm held fast though, and she couldn't get around him. She fell back in defeat, and leaned weakly against the wall. "I've just been having trouble sleeping lately, that's all. Nothing I can't handle."
"I know the feeling," Robin replied, nodding. Raven wondered if he meant having trouble sleeping, or feeling like you could handle it, but she was too weary to ask, or care. Robin finally let her pass, but as she made her way up the stairs, he called up for her to wait. She stopped but didn't turn.
"When I'm having trouble sleeping, I train. It helps keep my mind occupied. Maybe it would help you too." Robin said quietly, carefully keeping his voice emotionless. But upon hearing the sullen negative that his teammate returned to him, his calm shattered. He was angry. At Raven, for being so cold, and blocking him out. At himself, for letting his feelings get the better of him. And at life, for what it had been putting them through lately.
"What's the matter, are you afraid of getting beaten? Or maybe your afraid that you'll actually enjoy yourself for once. Afraid that you might tarnish your reputation as the girl who hates everything and everyone!" Robin barely remembered to keep his voice down, but his words were still twisted with a bitter anger. He winced at the harsh words, immediately regretting them. Robin had never meant to fall for his dark, and sometimes reclusive teammate. He had been sure that he liked Starfire, that they were meant to be. But he had gradually noticed himself gravitating more and more towards Raven. She was a mystery to him, a mystery he wanted to unravel. He wanted to be the one to make her face light up with a smile, the one to give her the happiness she badly needed, and what's more, deserved. He had kept his feelings hidden, locked away deep inside his heart. He couldn't let anyone find out. He wasn't sure how it would affect the team dynamic, but he was sure it wouldn't be good. But that didn't stop him from caring about her, didn't stop his heart from squeezing painfully in his chest when he saw her like this.
Normally, Robin's spiteful words wouldn't have affected Raven. Raven's emotions were usually held carefully in check, but tonight they hit home. She was tired, she had a head ache, and she was in a very bad mood. The light above them exploded, the shards of glass falling haphazardly around the two birds, plunging them both into darkness.
"Fine," Raven ground out, roughly pushing a disconcerted Robin out of her way as she went towards the training room.
Fifteen minutes later, Raven was starting to think that this hadn't been that bad of an idea after all. It didn't help her in the way that Robin had intended it to, but it did help keep herself awake, which had been the original reason for her sojourn into the kitchen anyways. Besides, the skills and advice that Robin was giving her might come in handy during a battle if she couldn't use her powers. Raven swiped a black barrier up just in time to stop Robin's bo staff from catching her shoulder. She knew Robin was going easy on her, he had proved that he could beat her easily before, but she was still having a hard time keeping up. Maybe I need sleep more than I thought she wondered wryly. The training room was huge, it took up almost one whole floor of the tower, and it was chock full of targets, weights, automated guns, lasers, and many other gadgets that helped them test and strengthen their powers. Since the two were simply sparring, the various gadgets lay scattered and prone about the room. While Raven was distracted by her thoughts, Robin had slipped behind some of the machinery, and into the shadows. Raven circled nervously, knowing he could be anywhere. She heard a slight scuffling sound to her left, and turned just in time to see Robin's extended leg flying straight for her. His foot connected squarely with her hip. Robin carefully blunted the blow, but it still hit her with enough force to knock her to the ground. Or maybe it was just because she was so tired. The world seemed to spin around her. She landed with a soft "whulph" sound, and tried to focus her eyes on the image in front of her. It slowly resolved itself into Robin's Smirking face.
"The element of surprise, is key to any battle. You can turn the tide of even a losing battle with it." Robin said coolly. Raven looked up at his cocky face, and felt a new wave of determination rushed through her. Surprise huh? I'll show you surprise. With that thought, she promptly did what she thought would surprise Robin more than anything else, she leaned forward and kissed him.
It was a short, quick kiss, nothing more than a peck, but it did the trick. She felt his grip on her loosen, and she took advantage of it to flip him over and reverse their positions. Lack of sleep has official made me insane, why on earth did I do that? she thought, but even that couldn't dampen the elation she felt at being able to wipe that annoying smirk off his face. She looked down at his face now, and saw something strange written across it, but she couldn't determine what exactly it was. If only he wasn't wearing that darned mask Raven thought distantly, then maybe I could tell what he was thinking. However, before she could think about it any further, it was her turn to be surprised. Robin's hand snaked up to rest gently at the base of her jaw, fingers tangling themselves in her violet hair, as he pulled her down and pressed his lips tenderly against hers. Raven didn't know what surprised her more. The fact that Robin, her fearless leader, the boy wonder, was kissing her, or the fact that she did nothing to stop him. As a matter of fact, she realized that she was kissing him back. She was dimly aware of the chaos that had erupted in her mind. Intelligence was running around, screaming at her to stop. Bravery was laughing boisterously and high-fiving other random emotions. Lust was dancing around happily. Fear was shouting her typical doomsday predictions of what would come from this. Happy seemed to be at a loss of what to think. Raven was also dimly aware of the lights the shattered nearby, and the control panel that exploded, sparking dangerously in the corner. However, she quickly forgot all of that as things with Robin started to heat up. His tongue had found its way into her mouth, and the hand that wasn't entwined in her hair was pressed against the small of her back. Her own arms were wrapped around his neck. Raven found herself on her back again, with Robin's weight pressing seductively against her. A shiver ran up her spine that had nothing to do with her being cold. She could feel the heat radiating from their bodies as their lips and tongues clashed together passionately. Robin ran a hand down her side to rest on her hip as he moved his lips to nibble and suck on her ear, before slowly tracing a line of kisses down her neck. At this point however, it seem that the bright orange garbed Panic gained the upper hand in her mind. Reality crashed down around her. The image of Robin's tortured stone face from her nightmare flashed across her mind. She gathered her energy about her hand, and threw Robin off of her. Robin watched numbly as her sable wings spread out and she ran (or rather flew) away from him through the ceiling.
Raven stopped when she once again reached the roof. Her chest was heaving, and her blood pumped hotly through her veins. Raven wondered if it was possible to drown, even if you were not under water. Raven knew that she desperately needed to meditate, so she swiftly assumed the lotus position and began the difficult task of emptying her mind.
Robin Threw a flurry of angry kicks and punches at the targets and punching bags that were spread out across the room. Robin had sat, bewildered, on the floor where he landed for several long minutes. He didn't understand what had happened, one minute they had been kissing, and the next he had been colliding painfully with the ground. He felt as if it were shards of his broken heart that littered the floor around him, instead glass from the broken lights. Then, confusion and pain had slowly been replaced by anger, and self loathing. His anger had fueled him, and he had returned to his training exercises with renewed fervor. With every hit he landed, Robin cursed himself internally. Cursed himself for doing exactly what he had wanted to avoid. He feared that he had pushed Raven away irreversibly, and permanently, all with one single, foolish move. The sweat shone across his body, and tired muscles screamed in protest, but Robin did not stop. Finally, the anger burned itself out, and all that was left was the hollow feeling of regret. Robin made his way mechanically towards his room. He collapsed tiredly onto his bed, and fell into a dreamless, discontented sleep within seconds.
The sun shone brightly around the pair as they laughed together, holding hands. The sky was the most breathtaking shade of cerulean blue Raven had ever seen. Robin reached out to her, and pulled her into a tight embrace. He leaned forward, and their lips met in a sweet kiss. The earth rumbled and they fell apart. She looked around in horror as she beheld the same tortured landscape of Slade's vision. The sky, moments before a beautiful azure blue, was now a chilling bloody red. The earth around the two cracked, and tore apart. The terrible, imposing figure of Trigon rose up among the flames from the jagged rift that had been created. She heard a scream that made her blood run cold, and turned back towards Robin. He was crouched on one knee, one arm reaching out towards her. She watched in horror as a layer of stone slowly made its way up across his body, imprisoning his forever within its cold, unyielding walls. She stumbled backwards, tears blurring her vision as she looked at his outstretched arm. It was a desperate plea for help, help that she couldn't give. She had failed him, and the mocking laughter around her knew it, taunted her with that knowledge. The killing blast came for her again, but this time she didn't fight back, or try to stop its advance. This time, the pain, and ensuing blackness came as a relief.
Raven woke with a start. She must have fallen asleep during her meditation. The dream had been different this time though, and infinitely worse. She couldn't take the look of betrayal that had registered on his face when he realized that she wouldn't even make an attempt to save him. She looked around and noticed that dawn was slowly creeping its way into the horizon. She got up and made her way swiftly into her room. She lit her many candles, and pulled several old books from her shelves with her powers. The pages were worn, and dog eared, but she handled them with care. They were some of her favorite books, and she quickly lost herself in their comfort, leaving reality far behind her.
Robin was worried. He hadn't seen Raven for two days. Actually, no one had. When the others had asked if he knew what was wrong with her, he had of course, feigned ignorance. Apparently, Starfire, in her innocent, caring way, had gone to ask Raven what was wrong. She had promptly returned, her feelings bruised more than anything else, by the fall she had taken when Raven's powers had forced her away. Robin knew he needed to talk to her, no matter how dangerous or unwise that might be. Robin made his way slowly and thoughtfully towards her room. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he knew he had to do something. He reached her room, and steeled his courage before knocking on the door. When several minutes passed with no answer, he called out to her and knocked again, more forcefully. When he still received no answer, he decided that it meant one of two things. Either she wasn't in her room, or she was adamantly ignoring him. Hoping that it was the former, he went to search for her elsewhere.
Night had fallen outside, and Robin was at a loss. He had looked in the kitchen, living room, training room, garage, and even asked the others if they'd seen Raven, with no luck. Clouds scuttled across the moon, throwing the landscape outside the windows that Robin stood in front of into darkness. An idea suddenly came to Robin, and he swiftly turned his back on the scene and left the room.
Satisfaction filled Robin as he saw that the door was indeed open. He climbed the last remaining stairs and stepped out onto the roof. At the same time, the clouds finally cleared the moon, and Robin was awestruck by the image that he beheld. Raven sat, floating a few inches above the roof, with her legs crossed. The pallid moonlight bathed her pale skin with a breathtaking radiance, and danced about her lustrous hair. He felt his breath hitch, and he thought that he could look at her like this forever. Time slowed, and it was as if they were the only two people in the world at that moment. It seemed they would be suspended in that solitary instant of time forever, Robin gazing longingly at the unsuspecting woman floating a few feet in front of him.
The spell was rudely broken and Robin was tossed out of his reveries when Raven's icy voice drifted across the rooftop towards him, "What do you want?" Slightly embarrassed, Robin gathered his thoughts before answering.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for...what happened the other night. I didn't mean to scare you, or push you to do something you were not ready for yet." Robin sighed, when his apology was met with frigid silence. As the seconds seemed to stretch, Robin felt as if that cold silence was strangling him, "Come on Raven, say something!" his voice was nothing more than a frustrated whisper.
"There's nothing to say," came the emotionless reply.
Robin's mind reeled in shock. "You can't deny what happened, and you can't fool me Raven, I know what I felt back there!" Robin cried, trying to keep the hysteria from creeping into his voice, when he realized what she was doing. He watched as Raven closed her eyes and heaved a tired sigh. In that one moment, she looked far older and worn than she was.
"Robin I...can't. You know I have to keep my emotions locked up." her voice faltered for a moment before she continued in a broken whisper, pain written clearly across her features, "I can't because of who, what I am, and what I was born to do."
"No, Raven don't do this, don't push me away. I can help you. We'll get through this, you can overcome it!" Robin cried. His eyes frantically searched her face, for something, for anything. Suddenly, he saw tears glistening in her eyes. He could read everything in her face for a moment before she quickly turned away from him.
"It's better this way." The words were so quiet he almost didn't hear them. Robin knew what he should do right then. His heart screamed at him to make her see things his way, force her to drop her facade. His heart ached to run to her and smother her in his strong embrace, and never let her go. But his brain said otherwise, and the leader in Robin slowly took over. She was right of course. Things would be much easier if they went back to their old habits, went back to pretending that nothing existed between them. It would be easier for them, and better for the team. They wouldn't have to deal with Starfire's naivete or hurt, Cyborg's protective nature towards Raven, or Beast Boy's slight crush on Raven. With one last sorrowful glance at the girl before him, Robin turned and slowly walked back the way he'd came. Robin thought that his heart had been broken the previous night, but with that movement, he was sure that he had just ground all the shards to dust.
Raven held a shaking hand up to brush away the few silent tears that had managed to weave trails down her cheek. She sat in the still of the night for a few more moments, silently reminding herself that she had done the right thing. If it was the right thing to do, then why does it feel so wrong? She silently asked no one in particular. She steeled her resolve, and made her way back to her room for the first night in weeks. She didn't care about the nightmares anymore, they couldn't be any worse than what she had just done, could they? Pushing these thoughts from her mind, she rolled over on her side, and fell into a restless, but thankfully dreamless sleep.
Awww...sadness. Hope you all enjoyed it! I will most likely be writing a sequel to this (which will be a bit happier), and possibly another after that. The first sequel would be set a short while after The End. If any kind soul would be interested in Beta-ing the sequel, let me know!
And of course, review please! Constructive criticism is encourage! I would especially like to know if anyone thought parts of it were out of character, it seemed to me like a few lines were a bit off. Thank you.