Mischief Still Managed
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Roberts,
I regret to inform you that your son Maximillian has earned three weeks of detention. His use of a Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes Inner Thought Amplification trick wand during Transfiguration class last week caused his fellow classmate Eleanor Calaveris to experience public humiliation. Her private thought concerning her male housemates was broadcast to the class at Quidditch loudspeaker levels. Transfiguration Professor Mandrinka attempted to dispel the effects of the trick wand but there was an unfortunate side-effect, the results of which are not an appropriate topic for this letter. The consequences of this action have resulted in an entry in Maxmillian's permanent record as well as the unexpected introduction of special Reproductive Planning and Education classes. Professor Mandrinka will resume Transfiguration classes next week after her return from the hospital ward.
Weasley Wizarding Wheezes are, of course, banned from all classes as well as the campus. Please reinforce with Maximillian the importance of his education during the holiday break. As this is your son's fourth incident this term, any further incidents will be dealt with immediately and result in expulsion.
Bellina Davis
Headmaster
The Houdini School of Magic
"Send that boy our 'D.G.C.A.' special!" A blonde female witch nodded her head at the red-headed man and left the room. George Weasley stood with his back leaning against the wall of his office, reading through yet another detention letter. There was a smile on his face as he slipped the wand out of his pocket and, with a few small waves and a little incantation, permanently stuck the parchment on the ceiling. It had to be the ceiling; the rest of the office walls were covered with detention notices, letters to parents and the occasional Ministry of Magic inter-departmental memo. The adverts had been worth their weight in gold. Nothing like an age-check enchanted ad that would tell those under the age of 17 that if you were caught or punished with a Weasley Wizarding Wheezes product, simply send in your letter of reprimand or detention letter and receive a free special offer. At first George had received a few letters and notes, but the eventual worldwide expansion of the company had increased the frequency of the letters until it simply wasn't feasible anymore. The enchanted ads were changed to say that "a random selection" of submitted letters would receive the special offer. Since the frequency was decreased, George had put together a "Don't Get Caught Again" special for those who really deserved it, a combination of items to not only ensure stealth but a selection of proven items and some rather experimental items. Felicity would send it out with all of the secrecy precautions, of course.
George sat back in his office chair and looked at his desk. There were all the family pictures, including Roxanne's recent graduation and Fred at work with his Uncle Charlie. Moving from the pictures he opened the drawer and pulled out a large file full of parchments stuck in haphazard angles, propped his feet upon the corner of his desk and began reading. It was in this position, back towards the door and feet upon the desk, that he stayed the better part of the next hour, slowly turning parchment pages.
Angelina Weasley walked into the office unnoticed by her husband. She stood with her hand on her hip in the doorway for a few minutes. "New ideas, then?" George immediately shut the folder and moved his feet to the floor. Upon noticing it was his wife, he relaxed and put the folder on top of the desk.
"Something like that. What brings you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, of course." He stood up and walked to his wife, moving her graying braids out of the way to kiss her neck. "Did I miss something? A meeting?" He studied her face. "A meeting. Who do I need to apologize to this time?"
Angelina sighed. She had been apologizing for George for years. At least this one wasn't going to be hard to rearrange. "Neville? At the pub? Remember?"
"Bloody hell. That's right. Why was I meeting him again?"
"I don't know, George. I'm assuming it has something to do with your line of work. You know how you are every professor's least favorite person, not to mention all of the headmasters."
It was true; along with collecting detention and parent notes George also collected school rules banning his products. There was a group of educators who routinely picketed his original shop in Hogsmeade every summer, some of them traveling from different continents. When the professor from Grenada showed up the previous year leading a group of twenty, something had to be done. Upon learning that the school in Grenada was located in St. George, it was providence. Or Fred. George decided it was Fred. After finally convincing the delegation to come in for a meeting, the blueprints had been laid out, handshakes had gone all around and no more picketing happened.
"Right, Ang. I'd better go see Neville. I'll see you back at the house." With that George walked out to the alley, turned on the spot and apparated.
Headmaster Neville Longbottom was sitting in the corner nursing a dark pint of beer. Both the clock and his watch told him that George was late, but what else could be expected, this was George Weasley. When half of the pint was gone George finally made his way over to the table.
"Sorry 'bout that, Neville. Had to send out a D.G.C.A. Special." George nodded at Neville then looked up at the barmaid and did the hand signal for 'another round,' then sat down.
"Please tell me it isn't one of my students." Neville closed his eyes for a moment and leaned back into the booth.
"Nah, Nev, it's in America. You know I personally promised I would not send those to any of your students." George looked confidently over at the Hogwarts Headmaster.
"Thanks, George. Now you remember why we're meeting today, right?" Neville could obviously tell from the expression on George's face that, actually, he most certainly did not remember. Neville sighed. How could such a smart man…then again, this is George Weasley. "It's time to pick your scholarship winner and endowment project for the year."
"Oh, right, Nev. The Fred Weasley scholarship. Did you bring the files?" Neville put a series of small stacks of parchment on the table, moving them when the barmaid brought over two pints. George took his pint before it could be placed on the table, telling the barmaid thank-you in a tone that almost made Neville blush.
"George, you're old enough to be her father."
"True, but she went out with young Fred a few times, so she's used to it. This round might be on the house, have to check." He paused for a drink. "Right, the files. Who should I look at first?"
Neville pulled out a fairly thick file. "Horatio Dashett, Hufflepuff Fourth year. Single-handedly removed 220 house points from Hufflepuff in one day. Straight O student, but he almost had a T in History of Magic his first year. Currently on a Dumbledore scholarship and at least three months of probation."
George took the file and began thumbing through the parchment, then stopped abruptly. "Did he really manage to ask every girl in his year from Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Gryffindor out to a dance? They all accepted?"
"Believe it or not, yes. He used some sort of secrecy charm combined with a love potion; nobody knew anything until the dance began. Every boy from the other houses, not to mention his house, wanted to kill him…and the girls…"
George shivered. "I bet that didn't go well."
Neville put the beer down after a long drink. "Not at all. He's the absolute hero of the Hufflepuff girls, though. They got their pick of every boy in school."
"That's all well and good, but let's get to the stats. Detentions?"
"Thirty-seven."
"Really? Wow. Letters home?"
"Five."
"Times escaped?" George's eyebrow raised on this one. "Neville?"
"I can neither confirm not deny that he may have left Hogwarts grounds approximately twenty other times."
"Neville, do I really need to look at the other files?"
"Not really. He's a good kid, he's smart, he's just…well, he's your type. He meets the economic requirements. His family's struggled to get him what he needs at Hogwarts, hence the Dumbledore scholarship. I gave him a Herbology text last year. His was so old that no spell could keep that binding together. He could really use this."
"Then do it, Nev. Just remember, we're keeping the same arrangements as I do with all of the schools. Let's continue on with the endowment project as well, eh?" George stood up and held out his hand. "Been a pleasure doing business with you, Headmaster." Neville stood up, and after shaking hands George left the bar, smiling on his way out.
"Post is here, George." Angelina walked through the kitchen in her dressing robe and placed George's items on the table, next to his tea, several items looking suspiciously like duplicated letters from schools. After preparing her own tea, Mrs. Weasley sat down across from her husband and began reading The Daily Prophet. "Hear about the latest at Hogwarts?"
George drank his tea and took a bite of toast. "Nofh deahrph."
"How many times must I tell you to not talk with your mouth full? How old are you?" She shook her head and with one hand smoothed her braids over her shoulder. "There's an article and a nice picture of Neville. Seems the anonymous benefactor scholarship program is still going on, two students have received full scholarships with stipends as well. Neville still won't announce who the donor is...there's a Gryffindor girl who is on a Ministry educational scholarship, and then there's a Hufflepuff boy who got one for 'service to the school' or something like that. They're also going to keep improving the Quidditch stadium. If that keeps up they'll have a better facility than the Harpies."
"Got to have a good Quidditch stadium."
"I swear, George, your priorities."
George looked down and opened the letter addressed to him. Inside the envelope was another envelope.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Planec,
I regret to inform you that your daughter Mary has been given a detention for the use of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes products in her Muggle Studies class. Her professor immediately confiscated the rest of her items, although it took several tries to stop the Reversible Vomit charm on her classmates.
The letter sent to all First Year students was quite clear in the prohibition of all Weasley Wizarding Wheezes at Hogwarts. Please make sure that Mary is quite aware that continued use of contraband products will earn her additional detentions and the possibility of expulsion.
Please contact me via owl if you have any further questions or concerns.
Neville Longbottom
Headmaster
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Have to have Violet send her a D.G.C.A. special. Couldn't send it himself, no, that wouldn't be proper. Made a promise, after all.
"George, why are you smiling like that?"
"Nothing, dear."