So this is kinda an angsty fiction between Jasper and Carlisle. No slash, just family. More or less Carlisle reveals a dark secret he's been harboring since the beginning of his vampire life. Enjoy and review please!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just the plot and any OC characters you see.
Carlisle was relaxed, sitting and watching a documentary on the past vampire hunts. He found it amusing to see how the hunts were carried out and how it was once he that had been leading them. He laughed softly at the false assumptions the hunters made. Honestly, garlic and stakes and sunlight. Carlisle shook his head in amusement.
"Hey, Carlisle!" Jasper greeted as he entered the room. Carlisle nodded his head once in acknowledgement before turning back to watch the show. Jasper came and sat next to him, also laughing at what had been done to 'rid the world of vampires' so to speak.
The show turned to commercial and Carlisle muted it, turning to face Jasper.
"Why aren't you with Alice?" he asked curiously. Jasper shrugged nonchalantly.
"She's shopping, and I really didn't want to be her bag carrier. So I just kind of slipped away as she was leaving. She'll be put out with me, but honestly it's worth it. Why are you home so early? Normally you're still at work…?" Jasper trailed off, raising an eyebrow. Carlisle laughed.
"Slow day. Figured I would just come home. So here I am! Esme's gone with Alice, though." Carlisle wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Something about needing more shoes and going to Dillard's…" Carlisle trailed off with an eye-roll.
Just then the documentary came back on, and Jasper got up and left. He walked outside, breathing deeply. The fresh air felt good, and it was comforting to be able to escape the scents of all the humans. It was only he and Carlisle home, and for the most part what Jasper felt was his own emotions. It was nice for a change. Carlisle's emotions had very little influence, making him less noticeable.
Suddenly it changed.
Carlisle amused emotions shifted violently. Carlisle's emotions had been light hearted, enjoying the documentary, and now they were dark. Angst filled, depressed, and pained. The pain of it made Jasper crumple to his knees, and he could only vaguely hear Carlisle's quickened and pained breaths from the house.
It was only when Jasper heard Carlisle's pain filled moan that he managed to right himself. He stumbled into the house and seeing that what the T.V. showed was what was hurting Carlisle, Jasper quickly turned the T.V. off. He then walked cautiously over to Carlisle, not daring to change Carlisle's emotions when he was so unstable.
Carlisle was leaned back against the sofa; his head tilted back, his eyes shut. His hands shook, and if you listened closely enough, you could hear quiet heartbroken sobs coming from deep within Carlisle's chest. He moaned again, and Jasper strode over to him quickly.
"Carlisle," he murmured softly. "Carlisle…what is it? Are you hurt? What's wrong?"
Jasper was desperate to know what troubled his adopted father. He didn't like seeing Carlisle this broken down. And he, along with the other Cullens, knew that it was extremely rare that you would catch Carlisle like this. This vulnerable, weak, and hurt. Carlisle really only let Esme see him broken down, he was very careful about it, which only made Jasper more concerned.
He scooted closer to Carlisle, and took one of his shaking hands. "Dad…what's wrong?" he asked, concern and care clear in his voice.
"No…" Carlisle finally moaned out. "No." Carlisle's voice was a hushed weak whisper, hardly detectable.
"Carlisle…" Jasper was getting seriously worried and freaked out by now, totally unsure of how to help his father.
"M-monster…killer…how could I…so sorry, Father." Carlisle mumbled. Jasper flicked on the T.V. quickly, putting the volume down so Carlisle wouldn't have to listen as much, though he could still hear it perfectly.
"—believe this is how he was killed." The narrator was saying. "Cullen had a son, who one day went out on a raid and didn't return. He sent out many search parties, but young Carlisle Cullen was never found. Cullen had grieved deeply for his lost son and was hard to reach for a full 24 hours. Then only three days after his son's disappearance, he didn't show for work.
"He was found later on that fateful day by two of his colleagues. They claim Cullen was completely drained of blood, pale and chalky. They burned the corpse, thinking that he'd been infected by a vampire and not wanting to risk it. Experts know for certain that he did not die of natural causes. He was murdered, and to this day it is believed that it was by a creature of the night.
"It's said this creature attacked because of Cullen trying to hunt down the creature's race. Scientists today say that it is highly improbable, and that most likely it was an animal or some other thing that got to him. But still—" Jasper flipped the T.V. off, turning to face Carlisle.
He could see how this would upset Carlisle, hearing about his father's death, but why this much?
Carlisle had guessed Jasper's curiosity, and struggled for words. He knew he owed his son an explanation.
"M-my record is-s-sn't as clean as everyone believes." Carlisle finally muttered swiftly in a hushed tone.
Jasper nodded for Carlisle to go on, subtly sending calming waves over him. Carlisle took a shuddering breath before continuing.
"I-I k-killed my father. He was my first kill. That is why I'm so averse to drinking from humans and why I tried to commit suicide so many times." Carlisle stopped, unable to continue, lost in his thoughts. The memory was coming back, as fresh and painful as the day it happened.
Flashback
I opened my eyes carefully, wary of what I would see. The burning had stopped, along with my heart. I stood slowly and cautiously, not daring to breathe. After several moments, I crept slowly out of my hiding place and into the streets. It was night, and I started to run.
I faltered when I realized that it had only taken me a few seconds to get from my hiding place to the end of the street, which were several yards away. I gaped for a moment, and then realization hit me when I leaned too heavily against a wall and it crumbled under my strength.
I had become my enemy. The burn in my throat was there because of the blood I thirsted. Not water, blood. I gasped, terrified and disgusted at what I'd become. I shook my head, whimpering in despair. What was I to do now?
Without thinking, I started to run again. I didn't realize where I was going until I turned onto my street. My father's house lay only a few miles away. Again without though, I made my way swiftly to the building. I heard my father's voice, clear as a bell despite the distance, and the voices of two of my friends.
"Mr. Cullen, we don't know where Carlisle is. You've sent us out to search, but we haven't found anything. We don't know what to do." a voice I faintly recognized stated sadly. I fought through a fog in my head to match a name to it. Nathaniel. That's who it was, my second hand man. And then my father's voice sounded, weary and broken.
"I suppose I cannot expect any more from you, boys. You've done the best you can. We'll just have to assume the demons got him. Evil filth." He sounded so broken, so sad.
It nearly broke me to hear my strong father like this.
A few minutes later, I could hear footsteps retreating from the house. A few more minutes passed and then the door opened, and my father walked out.
Just at that time I took my first breath in this new life. And I was hit by the sweetest, most delicious smell. I pinpointed it quickly, and found my father looking off into the distance.
To my horror, I automatically began to analyze my father's movements, traits, everything. My eyes naturally sought the pulsing jugular vein in my father's neck. My lips curled back over my teeth and I snarled quietly.
My father froze, turning swiftly toward the sound of my growl. His sharp eagle eyes scanned the area, and then landed right where I was crouched.
I internally screamed at myself as I rose and walked out of my hiding place. I knew what I was planning to do, yet couldn't stop myself.
"Hello, Father." I heard my voice say. But how could it be my voice when I was about to do something so horrible.
"Carlisle," my father breathed, fear and awe in his voice.
I sauntered up to him, almost snobbish, and grinned darkly.
"Carlisle," my father's voice turned nervous, instinct overpowering his will to stay calm. "What happened to you? How can you be alive? Why are you so…different?"
"Different, am I?" I questioned, a sneer on my face. I caught my reflection in a puddle of water, and noticed my eyes were onyx. I also noted my throat was in pure agony, and my thoughts focused completely on quenching my seemingly insatiable thirst.
I stalked closer, and I heard my father's heartbeat speed up in fear. I reached him, and leaned in carefully, my lips at his ear.
"I'm thirsty, Father. My throat burns. And I'm so sorry to say you are the first victim to cross me." It was still possessed Carlisle speaking, I couldn't seem to get control of myself.
Before I knew it, I had bit down on my father's neck, quickly starting to drink. I screamed at myself, horrified by my ugly deed. My father let out a choked gasp, and then collapsed into my arms. I grinned slightly, ignoring the part of me yelling and begging for me to stop.
In only a few minutes, my father was drained of the life giving blood. He lay in my arms, a cold, motionless, white corpse.
I dropped my father in horror. What had I done? I had just literally sucked the life out of my father. I, Carlisle Cullen, had just killed the famous vampire hunter of this town. Who just happened to be my own father!
I didn't think, just ran. I fled the scene, far too upset with myself to even think of hiding evidence. I managed to find refuge in an old cave a few hours later. I sat, rocking gently back and forth, trying to get myself together.
'One thing is for sure,' I vowed to myself. 'I will never kill another human. Ever. It's my fault my father's dead, and I will never kill again.'
End Flashback
Jasper shied away from the sharp painful emotions Carlisle felt as he relived the night he became a murderer. Carlisle buried his face in his arms, totally disgusted with himself. Jasper took a deep breath, steadying himself, and then faced Carlisle.
"Carlisle…it wasn't your fault. You couldn't control it. You were only a few hours old, how could you've controlled your thirst that young? Please, don't beat yourself up about this. I can feel this, I know how much this hurts you, and I know how horrid I would feel. But it was just something that couldn't be stopped, and that's that. I doubt any of us here would look down on you if you told us.
"In fact, I can promise none of us would. You're always so understanding with us, when we've slipped up so many times, how could we possibly be mad at you? Especially since you have a good excuse, too." Jasper laughed humorlessly. Then he turned serious again.
"Did you tell Esme this?" Jasper questioned curiously, though warily. He wasn't sure how safe this subject really was.
Carlisle didn't seem to notice Jasper's discomfort, and nodded, his face still hidden. "She understands and doesn't judge me. But she's my mate, she couldn't possibly. Do you know what the others would think if they knew?" Carlisle's voice was muffled, but Jasper could still hear the places his voice broke clearly. He put a comforting hand on Carlisle's shoulder.
"They wouldn't think any less of you. And even if what you said about Esme is true, she's not faking it. She truly wouldn't find that a fault. I promise you that, Carlisle." Jasper said firmly, voice filled with confidence in his words.
Carlisle was silent for a moment, lost in thought. A few minutes later he spoke.
"Thank you, Jasper." He murmured, hugging his son tightly. "You're right. Thank you so much." his voice was exhausted, but pleased, sincere and honest.
Jasper smiled and hugged Carlisle back. "You're welcome."
He was about to say more, but just at that moment the door burst open. Esme flashed through, Alice lagging a little behind.
Esme darted to Carlisle's side, and just gazed at him for a moment. Carlisle nodded in answer to her unasked plea. He was fine, he told her in his own way. Esme smiled in relief and helped Carlisle to his feet. Though Carlisle did believe Jasper about the family's acceptance, he still felt immensely guilty. Esme knew she would need to have patience, as of the fact it normally took a while to get Carlisle back to his normal self when this was brought up.
Smiling softly, though she still worried, she took Carlisle's hand and guided him up the stairs toward their room. Carlisle went in immediately, but Esme paused for a moment. She turned and looked at Jasper meaningfully.
Jasper felt the tidal wave of gratitude wash over him from Esme, and he nodded simply in reply. Esme smiled at him and then walked into the room after Carlisle, shutting the door softly behind her.
Jasper sighed and settled himself on the sofa. It was a shock to find out that Carlisle didn't have as clean of slate as everyone believed. He assumed Edward knew, and of course Esme did and now he himself, but to the others, they were oblivious. Except maybe Alice, she always knew about this kind of thing what with her visions and all.
The aforementioned walked smoothly to Jasper's side and sat down. She laid her head on his chest and grinned.
"You really helped him. I think it was good for him to talk to someone." Alice murmured to her mate.
Jasper nodded in response, whole heartedly agreeing with her. He knew Carlisle would be fine now, in the arms of his partner. Esme would help him get over it again, and he'd soon be back to harboring his dark secret in peace.
Jasper would act like nothing happened for Carlisle's sake, which was just fine with both of them.
Wow this was long. I hope you all liked it though. It was really sad to write this stuff, you don't think of Carlisle like that a whole lot. Hope you Carlisle fans aren't mad at me for doing this, LOL. I wasn't sure about Carlisle's father's name, so I just stuck with 'Cullen'.
And to all of you who've read THTTATV and are currently reading The Lover, The Soldier, And The Mistress, and are mad at me for posting this but not posting in forever on that story, I'm so sorry. One, I haven't gotten my required review number and two, the chapter's not wrote yet. But it will be very soon. So yeah… anywho, review please!
Eminnis and Alicia