Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Rating: M for terrible language and sexual themes (nothing explicit)
Main title: A Thing About You song by Roxette (don't be lazy, look it up)
Chapter Title: Losing My Religion
Summary: or just her general faith in humanity.
Word Count: 688
A/N: *Clears throat* Erm... So this is a request I got from tumblr from hotrodren; literally "Juvia telling someone they need Jesus". I do have a verse to fit this drabble, let's call it the friendzone verse. So there you go, another WIP/drabble dumpster fic. Enjoy the read!
Beware: do not expect thoughtful plots or detailed writing in this fic, this is just for fun, things I need to get out of my mind while I work on much serious projects, hehe.
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Losing My Religion
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Someone was going to die tonight.
She didn't care whether it would be her shitty excuse for a best friend or the torture victim she brought along. Somebody was bound to perish strangled by her bare hands before the night was over.
Patience was not a virtue that Juvia had been blessed with —she was arguably the epitome of intolerance, and waiting for someone had never been an option she would gladly take.
So when she found herself standing in the freezing cold street for half a fucking hour in what should have hardly been a ten minutes wait, she was fuming with aggravation and ready to kill.
"Are you cold, Juvia-chan?" A very concerned Gray asked, "Do you want a jacket? I have three of them." He offered, a hopeful look on his eyes.
"I do not." She said through gritted teeth, clutching the sides of her thin coat against her body. "I just want to go home. Where the fuck are those two?"
"I hope they're fine." The overdressed boy commented, knitting his brows into a preoccupied expression.
Before long, the headlights of an approaching car lit the pathway, and they were relieved by the sight of Natsu's flame red car parking over.
"Well, fucking finally!" Juvia huffed indignantly, stepping towards the parked vehicle, "What took you so long?"
Lucy Ashley grinned from the passenger seat, her elbow casually resting on the open window frame. "Sorry," she said, "We met some complications."
"Complications?" Juvia asked wryly, hands resting on her hips, "Oh, I'd love to hear the reason why I've been standing here like a dullard for the last hour. No, seriously. This better be good."
The blonde rolled her eyes with exasperation, drumming her fingers impatiently against the door, "Stop being an ass and get in the car."
"No! I'm not getting inside unless you—" She stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening as sudden realization sank in. "—Oh, my God."
"Huh?" Lucy uttered, cocking a questioning eyebrow.
"Did you just fuck in the car?"
There was a faint whimper that came out of Natsu's lips before he hid his scorching scarlet face behind his fingers, casually turning his face away from the girls. Gray seemed to find a sudden interest in the tree across the street and fixed his eyes on it as if it were the most interesting thing in the whole universe. Lucy, on the other hand, pursed her lips and raised her chin defiantly.
"So what! We cleaned it up!"
"EW!" Juvia said, holding one palm out as she covered her eyes with the other, "Ew, ew! I don't need the mental images!"
The blonde huffed incredulously, "Oh, don't be a hypocrite. You of all people have no right to judge!"
Juvia blinked twice, slightly offended by her comment, "Excuse me, I don't fuck people on public transportation. That's just gross."
"This is our car." Lucy remarked irritably, "And for the record, public toilets are way more disgusting."
The blunette facepalmed, "Dear Lord, you guys need Jesus. Honestly, go to church."
"Well, excuse me if some of us are actually getting laid." Lucy said sarcastically, "Maybe if you got banged once in a while you wouldn't be so bitter that everybody else is!"
"Ha. Ha." She deadpanned, cocking her head to the side. "Side-splitting hilarious. Still not getting in that car until it's throughout disinfected."
"Suit yourself." The blonde shrugged. Peering over towards the raven haired boy who pretended to not hear their conversation, she called, "Gray?"
"I'll walk her home." He offered, trying unsuccessfully not to sound too eager.
"Enjoy yourselves, then." Lucy waved cheerfully as the car started running, a mischievous smile on her lips.
"Yeah, fuck you too!" Juvia yelled at the moving vehicle as it disappeared into the night.
There was a moment of silence in which the girl stared in disbelief at the empty street, trying to make sense of the situation.
"Juvia-chan!" Gray called her into reality, hand stretched out invitingly as a dorky smile adorned his face, "Shall we get going?"
She threw her purse at him, which he caught just barely, "I lead the way."
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A/N: Reviews are much, much, much appreciated. Spread the Edo love? ;)