You Found Me
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Warning: This story contains slash.
Word Count: 1379
Summary: Merlin had a childhood filled with abuse. Can he leave that past behind and can he move on with the love of his life?
AN: This is my first one-chapter-story! I have never done such a thing before and I can only hope it is a little good. I tried my best to create hurt and suspense. I wrote this story after having seen a film involving this subject (Mysterious Skin by Greg Araki).
The title comes from another song by The Fray (yes, it is one of my favorite bands). I especially found this part perfect for the story:
The chorus of the song:
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.
(Disclaimer: I do not own this song, it belongs to The Fray)
Anyway, I think I talked enough. I hope this short story will be liked.
You Found Me
Nothing ever changed. At least, not that Merlin noticed. The walls of his bedroom remained the same filthy yellow, a color that had been faded by the sun many years ago. The sheets of his bed were barely unslept. Merlin hated sleeping in that bed. In stead, he crawled into the corner of his closet, pulling boxes up in front of him.
He had grown used to sleeping on a few of his sweaters, covered by a thin sheet which he always pulled from his bed. This night, however, Merlin couldn't sleep. His foster father had been drinking again, having come home very late and Merlin had known by the tone of his voice that tonight was such a night.
He didn't bother hiding away in his closet tonight, it would only make things worse. The door suddenly cracked open, moonlight filling the entire room. Merlin quickly sat up, his back pushed against the cool wall, his cotton sheet pulled up high against his knees.
"Boy?"
He not only sounded drunk, Merlin could already smell the alcohol surrounding the man. The small boy of 10 swallowed heavily. He did not want this to happen. His eyes started stinging, but he refused to let his tears run freely.
"Where are you?" the man yelled. He stumbled forward and knocked his knee hard against the edge of the nightstand. The lamp fell over and hit the floor, breaking into pieces.
"Look what you made me do!" the man growled. His eyes locked with Merlin's terrified gaze.
"Please," the raven haired boy begged. He pulled the sheet high up against his chin now. "You're hurting me."
The man slammed the door shut behind him, not caring he was making all that noise. He didn't care he might wake up his other foster child Gwen. Merlin sobbed when thinking about her. Their foster dad had never laid one finger on the little girl, but Merlin feared that a day might come where Gwen would be hurt as well.
"Come here," the man sneered, pulling the cotton sheet away. Nothing separated them now and Merlin pressed his knees hard against his chest. This was not happening and like he simply flipped a switch, Merlin was in his own private happy-place with his mother Hunith and father Balinor. The man came closer, the smell of alcohol pressing down on Merlin.
With a shock, Merlin woke up. His eyes widened as he tried to recognize his surroundings. Where was he again? His whole vision blurred however as tears rolled over his cheek. He really couldn't help himself. No matter ho many deep breaths he took in, the tears kept coming. Pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes, he tried to calm himself.
It had been nearly a year since he'd had such a nightmare. Merlin knew he shouldn't fear that man anymore and yet, the nightmares still snuck up on him during the most unexpected times. Breathing heavily now as the images of his dream were all coming back to him, he tried to remember where he was.
"Merlin?"
Merlin's heart skipped a beat and the young man rolled over, jumping out of bed as he tried to see who had just spoken his name. His back was pushed against the wall next to window, the cold welcoming. As Merlin looked down, he noticed he was only wearing bottoms.
A blond man immediately sat up, his arms lifted as to show Merlin he wasn't going to hurt him. His blue eyes spoke nothing but fear and only now did Merlin recognize him.
Arthur.
How could he have forgotten about Arthur? They had been living together for almost two months now. Their relationship had begun nearly three years ago when Merlin had turned 18. The raven haired man sighed, feeling how his tears were still running down his cheeks.
"What is it?" Arthur asked, his voice soft and filled with worry. A little frown covered his face as he had never seen Merlin like this before. He seemed to be able to read the distress into Merlin's eyes.
Merlin slowly stepped back into the warm bed. He made sure, however, that there was still some distance between him and Arthur. The memories of his dream were still too fresh. He did not want to associate Arthur with it.
"I've told you about how I was raised in foster care, haven't I?" Merlin found it strange to hear his own voice so soft, so vulnerable. Normally, when he thought or talked about his childhood, he only felt anger, but now there was only sadness.
"Because your parents died in a accident," Arthur said, nodding his head slowly. He respected Merlin's wish for wanting space.
"They drowned," Merlin sighed. He had never known his parents properly. They had died when he had just turned four and his memories of them had faded over time. "There wasn't any family to take me into their home so I got stuck with a man..." He could see the man's green eyes before him as if they were truly there. A chill ran down Merlin's back, making him shiver all over. "I should've told you, Arthur," his voice trembled, "I should have told you the complete truth because you...you..."
He couldn't speak anymore. His voice had nearly disappeared completely and he glanced sideways, gazing into Arthur's blue eyes.
"Because what?" Arthur asked carefully. His eyes were wide as he tried to understand what Merlin was trying to tell him.
"You don't deserve someone damaged," Merlin sobbed, his voice heavy. Taking in another deep breath, Merlin finally took control of himself. His tears stopped running over his cheeks and his eyes grew cold. Arthur's sudden warm touch surprised him. It was a pleasant surprise, though. His gaze remained locked with Arthur's.
"That's not true," Arthur disagreed. A faint smile filled his face, reaching all the way up to his eyes.
"The man I got stuck with," Merlin continued telling his story, his eyes still cold and distant, "he never laid one finger on Gwen."
Arthur's smile vanished instantly. Of course he had known that Merlin had lived through a rough childhood, he had known about the beatings, but Arthur had never heard the details and he had never dared asking out of fear of bringing up too many bad memories. This time, he listened carefully to Merlin's story.
"At night," Merlin averted his gaze now, staring at his hands which lay folded in his lap, "he would come to my room. I couldn't always tell when it was that night, but mostly it was after he had gotten drunk. For years he came until one day, I discovered I had an uncle after all."
Merlin quickly glanced sideways before looking back at his hands, spotting Arthur's sad look. Swallowing heavily, Merlin felt the tears come rushing back. He refused to allow them to run freely, though.
"Gaius," Arthur said, more a statement than a question.
Merlin nodded slowly. "He was like my guardian angel showing up out of nowhere. I went to live with him when I was 16, Gwen as well. My foster father got what he deserved and he is still in prison, but I can still feel him, you know?"
"He can not touch you anymore," Arthur reassured him. He stretched out both his arms and took Merlin's head in his hands, his fingers slowly resting on his cheeks. With as little force as possible, he turned Merlin's head towards him, their gazes locking again.
"He can not touch you," Arthur repeated. He smiled then. "I love you, Merlin and I don't think you're damaged."
Merlin chuckled softly. "I love you, too."
"I won't leave you," Arthur whispered, "because you are the one man I want to spend the rest of my life with."
Merlin crawled up close to his boyfriend, his head resting on Arthur's shoulder. The blonde man's arms reached around Merlin's chest, taking him into an embrace. Pulling the sheets back up, Merlin turned his head up and kissed Arthur softly on the lips. A smile filled both their faces now.
They fell asleep then and Merlin didn't have his nightmares anymore.
He knew Arthur would protect him.
The End