"I'm gay and I'm straight, Tom? What were you thinking, they're complete opposites! As if I would be stupid enough to court a halfwit like you! I'm amazed he believed us!" Hal hissed at Tom through gritted teeth as he pulled Tom's vest over his head and threw it at the werewolf angrily.

"Hal, calm down. Don't matter na anyway, at least we got the baby checked and we know shes a'right."

"It doesn't matter? He's probably gone back to his surgery to check up on us and then he's going to find out that we haven't actually adopted her! But he was right about something, you are a dimwit! It's I'm gay and proud!" Hal strode over to his wardrobe, picked out one of his own white shirts and pulled it on viciously.

"Oh are ya? I didn't think ya actually was. Well, thanks fer tellin' me, but you should tell Annie, so she can change the 'ause rules about bringing girls home."

"No, Tom, that's not what I meant.I was just saying what you were supposed to." Hal muttered, shaking his head

"You know I don't mind if you are, it don't bother me. Mcnair always taught me not to be nasty to people. Unless they're a vampire."

"I am a vampire, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Yeah but you're a nice one."

"Really? I thought i was a... how did you put it? Oh yes, a 'dickhead`"

"Yeah, but you don't, like, eat people. So, ya might be a dickhead, but you're a good vampire."

"Interesting logic. I didn't know that cavemen could understand anything that complex."

"Actually, cavemen were really clever. They invented wheels an' tha'. But of course you'd know that, since you were there."

"I'm not quite that old Tom."

"Na, course you aint. If you was, you'd've figured aut tha' you was gay a long time ago."

"Jesus, Tom! I'm not gay!"

"No need t' be so defensive, like. I was jus' messin' with ya. So 'ow old are ya then?"

"I have been a vampire for 472 years give or take an couple."

"Wow thats old. 'ow many people have ya killed."

"You really don't want to know, and I try not to think about it."

"So it's lots then?"

"I would kill whole villages at a time"

"I though' I ate a lot..."

"Are you attempting to be funny? Because it is not working."

"Well it is a lot. And did you have sex with them? Because, Mitchell, the vampire that lived here before, he liked to have sex with em' before 'e killed them."

"I'm not going to answer that question."

"Thought so, do all vampires do tha'? Or is it jus' Annie's friends?"

"We are seriously not discussing this Tom. Why do you want to know anyway?"

"'Cause it annoys ya. It's fun t' see you get all annoyed and lose control a bit."

"You really do not want to see me lose control. It could get very...messy."

"Yeah, but you can't kill me. Me blood's poisonous to ya."

"I don't have to bite you to kill you. Now, if you would kindly piss off, it's 12 o'clock which means it is time for my press-ups."

"Can I join you Hal?"

"Not today, maybe some other time."

"A'right, see you later Hal." He turned and walked out of the door, back to his own room.

Hal yanked the shirt back off, folded it neatly and dropped to the floor.