First try at one of these...
Obviously I do not own the Boosh and none of this happened apart from in my own mind.
Julian looked down fondly at his rather battered and aged settee. He was moments away from taking it down the dump and bidding it farewell forever. He should be happy he thought. No more sharp metal springs digging in to his arse at inappropriate moments, no more faded, sorry looking fabric and questionable looking stains causing unfavourable comments from his visitors.
He had fallen victim to the lure of a sexy looking leather bed settee a few weeks ago and it was this weekend he was expecting delivery. So, old faithful had to go. Why then was he feeling sad? He hadn't expected to be concerned about ridding himself of the old thing, but on waking this morning, he'd felt an indefinable urge to cancel his order for the new settee.
Sitting down with a cup of coffee Julian tried to unravel his conflicted feelings. What was bothering him? As his mind wandered he began to experience flashes of memories all revolving around the settee. It had been a very important item of furniture on moving into this flat . To tell truth it was his only item of furniture beside his bed and a tiny table that doubled as his desk, it was here that he and Noel had written the Boosh.
Noel, now that was an image that frequently entered his mind. A sexy man, with sultry good looks, lustrous long black hair and those very surprising blue eyes. They first met at a stand up gigs, one of Julian's actually and they'd enjoyed light hearted banter which over the passage of the years had gradually become more highly charged with sexual innuendo.
Thinking back to that evening together at his flat, Julian recalled falling together on to the settee with giggles and laughter as they teased and tickled each other into a passionate state of anticipation. The settee provided excellent service that night as they made love frenetically, several times – if memory and not ego served.
This was the clue that Julian had been seeking, his sense of loss at discarding the settee was connected to times past, precious memories and the tinge of regret we often feel when looking back with fondness from the safety of our present selves. Following this train of thought Julian spooled back his memory searching out other fun times for him and his old friend.
Suddenly he unleashed a hoot of laughter as he focused on an evening of high hilarity, spent with a group of friends celebrating the last day of filming their second series.
They had all been 'celebrating' with unstinting appreciation of the range of beverages Julian had amassed in his neat kitchenette. Everyone felt an increase in erudition and humour as the alcohol made bards of them all. The volume had risen and competition to hold the floor was brisk when Julian suggested the time had come for a few traditional games. This was a general outcry.
"Not the same old stuff again Ju, let's try something new…….."
And so was born, what should really be adopted as an Olympic sport, ………… "Strip Tiddlywinks."
The rules of this game became a little blurred as the evening and rate of imbibing progressed but an excellent time was had by all. As no one had any kind of fine motor control left, even at the beginning of the game, the tiddlywinks were soon flying in all directions and never a one into the little pot to score. Every missed shot required an item of clothing to be removed and in very short order the entire room full of lively, slightly more inebriated folk were starker's.
Noel, always a team player, was asked to lay full length along the settee and the combatants were lined up in a row some six feet away with tiddlywinks at the ready. The adjudicator, that is, the guy least able to tiddle or wink due to excessive liquid consumption, declared the 'target' and the contestants let rip.
The first tiddlywink to fall in the target area would be declared the winner. The first target identified by the referee with a shout was "stomach". With a volley reminiscent of the best hour at Agincourt the tiddlywinks were released. They rained down, a veritable rainbow of little coloured discs but not a one landed or remained on Noel' abdomen.
After a few trials, a scattering of tiddlywinks made it on to Noel but never in the targeted area. More motivation was obviously required. After some thought a leery grin passed over the referees' face and "COCK!" was called.
Amazingly that focused the mind and they lined up for a new volley. Several of the discs hit Noel's cock causing little yelps from his as they stung feeling like little finger flicks.
Julian could remember finding the little plastic counters in the crevasses' of the settee for months following this night.
Of the many memorable times that came flooding back that day Julian was most affected by the memory of the first time he had spanked Noel.
Julian had recognised the positively edible quality of Noel's hind quarters. He had a perky, curvaceous bottom which wiggled invitingly as he moved. Julian loved to watch his walk and often made an excuse for him to walk on ahead of him. He loved the contours and the gently sloping curves ending in neat firm thighs. He was becoming quite obsessed with it and began to desire to follow his visual with tactile delights. He began to caress his bottom when they stood or walked closely together. Then feeling a certain encouragement in the sparkling look in his love's eyes.
The moment of revelation came quite by accident on a warm July evening. From the dining area of his flat, French windows opened out onto a little balustrade framed balcony. As the night was balmy and warm, Julian had been barbecuing some chicken kebabs outside filling the air with the aroma of charcoal and herbs.
Culinary perfection achieved, Julian handed Noel the two plates filled with kebabs and salad. He wandered back inside the flat to enjoy the food seated comfortably on the settee. No sooner had Julian joined his and sat down than he leaped from the settee with a yell. Noel had removed the chicken from his metal skewer and put it aside on the settee cushion, the cushion which Julian promptly sat on thus injecting his backside with the business end of the skewer.
He was obviously less than happy with the sensation and far less impressed as Noel snorted and gasped with unseemly laughter enjoying his predicament to the full.
"I should put you over my knee and spank you for that you careless wench" said Julian hands on hips and legs astride in full disciplinarian stance.
With a wide grin and delighted giggle Noel replied, "You wouldn't dare".
Julian smiled at Noel and sat back down on the settee. He looked at Noel with narrowed eyes and a wicked smile on his face.
"What?"
And with that Julian swung around and pulled Noel across his lap. His plate with half eaten food careered across the floor.
"What the fuck are you doing? Ju?"
"Shhh..."
Julian felt the breath leave his body. As his hand caressed the voluptuous mounds before him he felt a quiver cascade through his entire being.
He hit him. Noel jumped
"Fucking hell Ju!"
Julian did it again and again and again.
"JU!"
"Shit, do you want me to stop?"
"No, take my fucking trousers off."
Julian reached underneath Noel and unbuttoned his jeans. He pulled them down with one harsh tug and threw them on the floor, his blue pants soon followed.
With an excitation never usually triggered by tactile sense alone Julian began a journey of exploration over the topography of Noel's form. The softness of his skin against his hands caused them to tingle. The sensations mounted causing warmth to pulse through his fingers and diffuse into the skin beneath his touch. The tiny, increasingly urgent breaths and sighs emanating from Noel suggested an equally enthralling beginning for his. Julian could detect his body vibrating tremulously against his legs and his body responded as he felt an answering swell in his groin.
He began to spank again. Covering Noels arse with his giant hands. As he moved down towards his thighs, Noel groaned and breathed little "Yes, Yes, Yes" wisps of sound, hardly loud enough for him to hear.
He stopped to tease Noel further. He started to caress and rub his flesh, painting picture shapes and drawing letters on his buttocks with his finger tips. The tempo of moans and undulations of Noel's body increased as he loaded sensation upon sensation. He returned to a steady pace of spanking subtly increasing the firmness of each stroke and revelling in the music of the slaps with Noels moans as they echoed around the room. The acoustics changed with the varied posture of his hand, hard, soft, buttocks, thighs, flat hand, scooped hand with each sending a unique stream of resonating harmonics bouncing around the space adding acoustic to tactile and visual pleasure.
His spanking reached a crescendo driving Noel into an ecstatic spasm of orgasmic release. Julian becoming aware of the wet patch on his leg took a much needed breath filling his lungs with the scent of his arousal.
He moved Noel off of his lap and went to his doctors bag and found his ever useful tub of Vaseline and then dragged him to the arm of the settee and bending Noel, over he entered him. He gasped as Julian moved in him, the mixture of pleasure and pain from the touch to his red raw buttocks. Julian hammered harder moving toward orgasm, grasping onto Noels hips he was able to look down at the rosy red hue of Noels buttocks and he smiled.
Neither of them had ever experienced such extremes of sensation. They drove each other to take more and scale furthers heights of pleasure and when completely satiated, they drifted into exquisite repose.
So from the on Friday night was role play night.
Julian felt goose bumps all over his body and the beginnings of arousal as the vivid images assailed him across a years, teasing and stimulating his senses once again.
The next day
"OOO..new sofa?"
"Yeah, got it yesterday. D'you like it?"
"Don't know, we had a lot of fun on the old one!" Noel said with a naughty smile creeping across his face
"Yeah, we did!"
They both looked at each other
"So what's the safe word tonight?"
"Banjo" Noel replied with a smile in his face
"Banjo? Fair enough, now get on your knees you dirty bitch"