Hello everyone!
First of all, I am so sorry about this entire story. I just felt like writing some angst, and well... I did.
Then, as usual, I'm so sorry for all the mistakes you will find in this text.
I hope you will enjoy it anyway!
xx
Daryl woke up in a blur. His entire body stirred, sore and tired, and he let out a loud groan in the empty room. Beside him, the sheets were cold against his bare back and he turned around, blinking slowly, searching for his lover. The place next to him on the mattress was empty, and he sighed with disappointment when he realized that Paul must have been gone for a while now. The sun peaking through the light curtains was high in the sky, and the streets of Alexandra were filled with people talking and laughing joyfully. He could hear Judith laughing in the distance, probably playing with her big brother, and smiled at the warm feeling filling his chest. When did he get so lucky? He still couldn't believe that he had found a real family and true happiness in this fucked up world.
He groaned again when his sore muscles protested against his movements, getting up and raising his hands above his head. A few joints popped in his knees and back, and he rolled his head back around his shoulders to relax himself fully. After dressing up, smirking when he realized that Paul had left a few bruises against his collarbone and his muscle chest the night before, he walked down the stairs and into the living room.
"Hey Daryl" greeted Michonne, making breakfast for the kids playing outside. "It's good to see you actually get some sleep for once."
He rolled his eyes, stealing an apple from the woman's hands and biting into it with fervor.
"I'm not sure you could call the noises we heard last night proper sleep" interrupted Rick, entering the living room with a proud smile.
"You know I wouldn't say anything if I were you, considering the noises you and Michonne make sometimes" replied the hunter with a raised brow.
He was not ashamed of his sex life. Or at least, not anymore. When he had met Jesus and fallen hard for the scout, he had to face his sexuality and everything that came with it. It wasn't hard coming out to his family, at least not as hard as he had believed it would be at first. Of course they were all happy for him, and even more when he had admitted his feelings for the scout. Their relationship wasn't the easiest, and Daryl wasn't the most confident guy ever, but they made things work out. And for the first time in his life, he felt proud of who he was and he was truly happy.
"I'm not gonna say anything" replied Michonne, amused. "But if you keep stealing me food, I'm gonna kick your ass. Sit."
He complied, secretly loving how the woman mothered him sometimes.
"Any of you seen Paul?" he asked around a mouthful of food, once they were all seated at the table.
He wondered where his lover was gone. The previous night had been amazing, he had just came back from a two days run with Rick and the younger man had been waiting for him entirely naked in their bed. They had made love several times, falling asleep sticky and sore in each other's arms, and Daryl had woken up alone. It was pretty unusual for Paul to leave the bed without waking him, and even more to leave the house as well. But sometimes, the scout loved to babysit Gracie or Judith, or help the Alexandrians with some constructions.
"No, I thought he was upstairs with you." replied Rick, frowning.
It was unusual for one of them to leave without the others noticing. Ever since the war with Negan, they had installed a very strong rule inside the new walls of Alexandria: no one was to leave without one of them knowing. So many things could happen, and no one could ignore the rules, not even the leaders. This time, Daryl stopped chewing, looking up at his brother.
"No, he was long gone when I woke up."
Rick looked at Michonne, who looked back at him. It was clear that neither of them had seen the scout, and Daryl felt his insides clench at the idea.
"Maybe he's with the children?" added Michonne, feeling that the hunter was panicking.
They all got up, discarding their breakfast on the table and leaving the house quickly. They found Judith, playing with Carl, knocked at Aaron and Gracie's house, but Paul was nowhere to be seen. They searched Alexandria for more than an hour before realizing that the scout definitely wasn't inside the walls.
"Why would he leave like this?" resonated Rick, trying to calm Daryl down. "He knows no one should leave alone."
"Ain't never stopped him before" groaned the hunter, chewing on his thumb. "Fuck, I can't believe this. Fucking hell, Paul!"
"He might just be around the walls" said Michonne softly, putting a reassuring hand on Daryl's arm.
"No, you don't get it!" groaned Daryl, stopping his pacing for a second to look at his friends. "He was just…. gone. I woke up, and he was gone. He never does that, okay? Never. Especially after…"
He stopped, finding it hard to keep going. He couldn't think about the previous night, the way his and Paul's body had found each other again and again, the moans of the younger man and he way he had squeezed their bodies together. He couldn't think about it because his chest ached even more when he did, worry paralyzing his muscles. How could this perfect morning so far turn into something so disastrous so quickly?
"We'll find him" replied Rick, trying to ease his brother's worry. "We'll find him, Daryl."
"I need to go outside the walls" replied the hunter, ignoring the leader and shaking his head. "I need to find him."
"Daryl… I can't let you go outside by yourself."
"I'm not asking for your permission, Rick."
They were still outside, and a few people had turned their head in interest at the hunter's hard tone. It wasn't usual for Daryl Dixon to raise his voice, and it was even more unusual to see him talk this way to Rick. Everyone knew how deep their bond was, and how faithful the hunter was to his brother and leader. Never once did the Alexandrians saw them argue, or saw Daryl discuss an order, until now.
"Daryl, it's dangerous" added Michonne, trying to back up her husband.
"I don't fucking care how dangerous it is" replied Daryl, almost running back to the house to get his crossbow and a couple of knifes. "I'm gonna look for him, wether you like it or not."
The couple stayed silent, watching him climb up the stairs and barge inside the room he shared with Paul to gather his stuff. When he opened the door, the hunter's heart ached, his eyes landing on the still dissembled sheets in the middle of the bed. Everything felt so unreal, and it felt like it had been weeks since he had last since Paul, when he was in his bed the previous night. The room smelled like sex and pheromones, he could still scent a faint trace of Paul's parfume hanging in the air. He didn't need to look at the bed or its sheets to know that he would find body fluids still drying on the fabric, and his throat felt too tight for him to breath. Why was Paul so damn stubborn? He knew the scout needed to escape, sometimes. He did, too. But he never left without a note, or without anyone else. They often went away together, just the two of them, finding food and supplies for the group, fucking like rabbits in the woods and enjoying time by themselves. Simply happy, always together.
"Daryl" interrupted Rick, standing behind the hunter.
Daryl knew that in another situation, he would have been ashamed by such a display of his sexual life. Rick knowing that they were having sex because of the faint moans he could briefly hear was one thing, but his brother's eyes landing on the ruined bed and smelling the air was another. But he didn't spare a single glance at the man, pushing him to get out of the room and exit the house.
"Daryl!" screamed Rick once again, and this time the hunter turned around.
"What?"
"Please, let us come with you."
The other man considered this option for a moment, looking at Michonne and Rick, their matching worried expressions twisting his guts with guilt. But he couldn't let them. Because he had to do this by his own. If anything had happened to his lover, anything… He wouldn't be able to properly express his pain. And he needed it. He needed to find him, to search for him the way he tracked his preys and to find him and bring him home. He still didn't get why Paul had to leave by his own, and he would make sure that the younger man never did this again in the future. But for now, he was too worried to let his best friends come with him. He needed to do this by himself.
"I need to do this by my own" he replied, turning around to face the gates and gesturing for the person on guard duty, Rosita, to open them.
Rosita barely spared a look at Rick and Michonne before opening it enough to let him pass, and closing it behind him with a loud noise.
"Daryl!" said the other man, voice loud and resonating behind the strong metal of the gates. "Please, if anything happens…"
"I've been alone most of my life, Rick" groaned the hunter, turning his head enough to send a heated glance to his brother above his shoulder. "I can handle this. Okay? I'm coming back, with him. If I'm not back by sunset… Then, send someone to get us. But we're coming home. The both of us."
Rick didn't insist, knowing that the fight was lost already. Nothing could ease the hunter but to find his lover, and somehow, Rick understood. He had grieved Lori by himself when she died years ago, and he knew that he wouldn't have given up on looking for her body with his own eyes if he hadn't found the walker that ate her whole. Jesus was not dead, but Daryl still needed answers. And he got that.
"Are we going to let him go?" finally whispered Michonne, taking her husband's hands on hers.
"He needs to go" replied Rick, shaking his head sadly. "He needs to."
Fortunately for Daryl, Paul did not cover his tracks. The scout knew better than to do it now that they had hunted together a few times, because the hunter always felt more comfortable when he was able to track his lover. As he had told him one day, "we never know what could happen" and Paul had obviously remembered it.
Daryl did not walk for a long time before finding a small little village of a dozen houses, that he had emptied long ago with Rick and Tara. He remembered coming once with Paul as well once, sleeping in one of the houses on their way back from a long distance run and he remembered clearly the way Paul had looked in the morning, so peaceful and beautiful, sleeping on the dirty bed. At this moment, Daryl had momentarily forgotten the horrors outside when looking at his lover sleeping soundly, and it was and would always stay one of his favorite memories.
The track ended in the village, somewhere between two houses. Frowning with confusion, Daryl looked around. A few walkers were wandering around at the other end of the village, but no real threats were to be seen. Daryl didn't know where to look first, and if Jesus had covered his tracks on purpose this time so he followed his heart, turning around to face the house that him and Paul had used to sleep in the last time they were here.
When he passed the doorway, memories from this time when Paul had pulled him inside by the collar, their mouth collapsing together without grace once that had made sure that the entire house was clear from wakers came back to him. He couldn't help but look at the wall against which Paul had nipped at his throat, remembering their loud moans and the way his little tease of boyfriend had promised him a night to be remembered. And what a night that was.
He headed to the stairs, turning right once on the first floor to get to the room that he and his lover had used a couple of weeks ago. He did not make a single noise before opening the door, his crossbow in hand, and finally barged inside the small room, ready to shot an arrow through any walker's skull.
All the air left in his lungs escaped them at once, and he let out a strangled moan at the sight before him. Paul was sitting on the bed, his back and head against the headboard and his tired eyes looking at up him with an expression that he was incapable to describe. After securing the door behind him and putting his crossbow against it, the hunter practically ran to the bed and fell into his lover's arms, unbelievably happy to feel them wrap against his body.
"Fuck, Paul, I was so worried!" he whispered against his lover's temple after kissing it tenderly, his hands finding Paul's hair and twisting the locks between his fingers just the way his lover liked best.
The scout's skin was hot against his lips, and Daryl realized that he was still wearing his long sleeved coat despite the cool temperature of the room. Paul loved his coat, and no matter how many times Daryl had asked him if he wanted another one, he had always declined, wearing it even under the hot Virginia sun. If the hunter did not understand the fascination he had for the leather piece of clothing, he respected his lover's preferences. Even if sometimes, like this time, he wanted nothing but to rip it from Paul's body and feel their skin against each others. Because he had found him, and they were both alive.
"I wanted to surprise you" laughed Paul quietly, his eyes finding Daryl's when the hunter finally let go of his middle to sit back on the bed in front of him.
"You idiot" groaned the older man, shaking his head. "I thought I had lost you. Don't you ever do that to me again, do you hear me?"
Paul's hands found Daryl's head, and he petted the dirty strands of hair with a found but somehow sad expression on his face.
"I'm sorry I scared you" he finally whispered, another smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I just wanted to surprise you."
A small voice in the back of Daryl's mind told him that something wasn't right in the way Paul behaved and held himself against the headboard, but he ignored it, way too relieved to let his panic take over.
"Surprise me?" he asked instead, kissing the bridge of Paul's adorable nose.
"It's our one year anniversary today" insisted the younger like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I wanted to celebrate it. Here. With you."
He did not move to get up, and although Daryl couldn't fully understand why they stayed seated here, in a dirty house in the middle of nowhere, he stayed by his side, Paul's free hand finding his and intwining their fingers. The young man's hand was a little sweaty against his palm, but Daryl was too distracted by his big blue eyes to made a comment about it, leaning in the loving touch against his calf while Paul still petted his hair.
"I thought we had already celebrated this last night" teased the hunter, a glimpse of amusement in his eyes.
"Ha, you're not wrong. How could I forget that?" snorted Paul, rolling his eyes.
Despite the little laugh that had escaped the man in front of him, Daryl still felt a little uneasy. Something still felt wrong, and he knew that Paul was hiding something from him. He still didn't know why he had felt the need to get away like this, only to find him here looking a little dazed out. They could have both celebrated in Alexandria, surrounded by their friends and family and not leaving the attic room until nightfall. But then again, Daryl had never been a strong romantic, and Paul's efforts to organise something new warmed his heart.
"You look sad" he eventually whispered after a couple of seconds of silence, searching for Paul's eyes when the other man sighed and looked away.
He tried to ignore the uneasy feeling growing in his chest at the gesture. Maybe Paul was tired, or disappointed that Daryl had found his surprise a little too early.
"I'm just happy." replied the scout, looking out of the window with fascination, before focusing his eyes back on Daryl.
"You don't look happy, you look sad" insisted the hunter, leaning away from the contact in his hair when he felt Paul tense slightly. "Is it something I've done? Or something that I haven't done? I'm sorry I forgot about our anniversary, Paul. I've never been really good at all of this."
"No, no Daryl. It's nothing you've done, baby. And nothing you didn't do, either."
This time, Paul smiled fully, his big grin stretching his face in the most gorgeous way. His hand found Daryl's jaw and cheek and he mentioned for the hunter to bend over and kiss him properly. The older man did, moaning when their sensitive flesh found each other after what felt like an eternity. Like the rest of his body, Paul's lips were hot, and Daryl licked inside the younger man's mouth to wet them correctly. Paul let out a broken moan, completely letting himself go against Daryl and opening his mouth entirely.
After a few slow and languid licks against his lover's tongue, Daryl broke the kiss, panting for air. He pushed another one on the corner of Paul's mouth, before descending against his throat, where Paul stopped him.
"Daryl, wait…"
He felt strong hands pushing against his chest to separate their bodies and he complied, licking his lips while searching for Paul's gaze.
"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away" he laughed, kissing Paul's brow instead before pushing their foreheads together. "I love you so much."
Who would have thought that the hunter would be the one to say it first in their relationship? Definitely not the man himself. He had always thought that love was meant to hurt, and only hurt, from his younger age. So when he had fallen for Paul, and admitted his feelings to the man himself, he had surprised himself and Paul at the same time. So it was only fair that he'd end up, a few months later, saying the three precious words to a very stunned Paul. Of course the man had said it back, and several times. But it always felt like the first time for both of them, and shy little smiles and heated kisses always followed the declarations.
But not this time. This time, Paul looked right in his eyes, the same sad little smile from before stretching his lips before whispering it back to him.
"I love you, Daryl. I've never loved anyone like I love you, you know that, right?"
Daryl nodded, despite their forehead still stuck together. The air was heavy around them, and the hunter wondered if Paul felt it too. It was weird, this sense of déjà vu, and Daryl briefly thought about the day his mother put him to bed for the last time, a few hours before killing herself with a still lit cigarette in the room next to his.
"I know, baby."
He shivered, although the room wasn't cold at all. They needed to get out of this room, and back at Alexandria. He wanted all of this to end already, and Paul's surprise be damned.
"Come on," he said, trying to force a smile on his lips. "We need to get back home now."
Home. Something he never thought he'd get one day. Yet there he was, with the man he loved more than anything, ready to head back to this place that he hated so much at first. He got up, handing his hand for Paul to take but the young man only looked at it with a sad smile, before shaking his head.
"I can't, baby."
Daryl blinked once, then twice.
"What do you mean, you can't?"
"Daryl" whispered Paul, taking his hand to caress it slowly, in a way that he knew calmed the hunter almost all the time when he was nervous "I've been bitten."
Daryl stayed still for a long while, looking at his lover with big, round eyes. He took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief.
"No" he chocked out, looking at Paul with a frown. "No, you're not. We're gonna get back to Alexandria, and we're gonna get back to bed together, alright?"
Paul huffed a small laugh, his fingers flexing against Daryl's palm. The hunter was suddenly too aware of his lover's body temperature, and he felt tears flooding his eyes. He swallowed them back though when Paul shook his head again. His shaky hands -when did he start shaking?- opened the front of his coat and he revealed a bloody wound on the junction between his right shoulder and his neck, leaking profusely against his torso.
"I didn't see it coming" he kept going, ignoring Daryl's eyes staring at his bloody flesh, frozen in shock. "Years of killing hundreds of these things, and I got bit by one of them when I was too busy trying to clean the sheets on the bed. Can you believe this?"
There was no humor in his tone, and Daryl could hear his voice shake at the end of the sentence. However, after swallowing loudly, the scout looked up at his lover, a smile stretching his tired face.
"I'm glad you found me, you know? I wasn't sure you'd wake up in time. Or that you'd find out that I had gone beyond the walls."
"Paul…" The hunter chocked on his words, trying very had not to let sorrow take over. But it was already too late, and he could feel his unleash tears running down his face freely now.
"No, baby, don't cry" whispered Paul, mentioning for him to sit back on the bed, moving over to let him some space. "Just… come here."
Daryl shook his head, refusing to sit. Paul's eyes fell on the bed in front of him, and he sighed, resigned.
"Are you really going to stay away from me in my last moments?" he asked in a low voice, clearly hurt.
As soon as the words passed his lips, Daryl sat on the bed next to him, crushing their bodies together. Paul repressed a loud moan, his bones feeling like shattered glass and his entire body aching painfully. But nothing would keep him from Daryl's embrace, and although he could feel the hunter's tears wetting his temples, he smiled, content.
"I'm so glad we're both here" whispered Paul, his right hand finding Daryl's and squeezing it between his fingers.
Another chocked sob escaped Daryl as he pressed a wet kiss against the younger man's forehead, his ragged breath caressing the right side of Paul's face.
"It's okay, you know?" Paul kept going, enjoying every bit of Daryl's presence even if his body was too hot for the embrace to be comfortable. "I'm happy."
"How can you be happy when yer dying?" groaned the hunter, shaking his head in disbelief, his hand squeezing Paul's even harder.
His face was strained with fresh tears, and he wasn't even pretending to be strong anymore. His body was pressed against Paul's hot one, and the scout could feel him shaking lightly. It had been a while since he had last seen Daryl pained about something, luckily for all of them, and it was the first time he'd seen him this affected. Although many assumed that Daryl was the strong one in their relationship, Paul's petite figure looking softer than the hunter's broad shoulders and hard looks, Daryl had always been the soft one. And his facade was coming undone in the hardest moments.
"I'm happy because I'm with you" he replied, smiling softly and kissing Daryl's cold hand. "And I'm happy because I got to live this amazing story with you."
"We ain't had much time" whispered Daryl, sadness bleeding through his words. "It ain't fair."
"Life is never fair, Daryl. You and I both know that."
Carefully, Paul turned around to be able to kiss his lover, their lips meeting in a desperate sigh. Daryl's lips seamed cold, and he knew that his fever was most probably rising fast now. He had been bitten more than three hours ago, and his body was going numb very quickly. The pain was almost unbearable, but he wouldn't change their positions for the world. When Daryl's tongue found his, he let out a single tear, crushing it between their cheeks.
"I'll never make it without you" finally whispered the hunter, his wet cheeks still pressed against Paul's and their lips barely touching. "I'll never make it, Paul."
"You have to" replied the other man firmly. "You have to Daryl, do you hear me? You have to come back to Rick. You know he needs you by his side. You have to watch over Carl and little ass kicker, too. Our family, they need you."
"But I need you."
Paul bent his head to kiss him softly on the lips again, and smiled.
"And you'll always have me, baby. I'll always be here with you, whatever happens."
Daryl shook his head, refusing to hear the words. He knew that he was acting like a petulant child, but life was taking away the only good thing in his life, and he was not ready to say goodbye.
"I'm not ready to let you go" he said again, turning his face around a little to let out a few more tears. "You're everything to me, Paul. Don't you get it? You're everything. I'm nothing without you."
"Don't you dare say this, Daryl. You are strong, you are loved, you have a family. I don't wanna hear any of this nonsense."
The hunter looked back at his lover, and whipped out the wetness on his cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Paul. I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"I'm not. I get to have this moment with you, now, and it's everything I could ask for."
He took Daryl's hand again, this time in a softer grip. His muscles were aching painfully and keeping his eyes opened was a struggle itself. He knew that his time was close, yet so many things were still left unsaid.
"I want you to keep living" he croaked, each word harder to articulate. "I want you to go back to Alexandria, as soon as I'm dead. Please, don't do anything stupid, Daryl."
"I don't…" the hunter shook his head, looking down at their entwined fingers. "I don't know…"
"Yes you do. You do, and you're going to. You're going to live, and you're going to be strong for your family because this is what I'm asking of you."
He turned his head, this time barely repressing a pained moan, and caught his loaded gun with his free hand.
"No" chocked Daryl, pushing Paul's hand away. "No."
The hunter was now shivering from head to toes, yet Paul smiled.
"I have to, Daryl. I have to do it."
"I can… I can do it."
"No, you can't." replied Paul as calmly as possible. "I'm not asking you to do this. I want to do it myself, while I still can."
The silence hung heavy between them, only disturbed by their disturbed breath.
"Please. Let me do this." finally asked Paul in a whisper.
And eventually, Daryl gave in. He nodded, ignoring the fresh tears escaping his eyes to help Paul to get a firm grip on his gun, raising it against his temple to press the trigger.
"You know I love you with all my heart, right?" whispered Paul, struggling to keep his arm still.
"I love you too, Paul" replied the hunter, pressing their foreheads together one last time. "More than anything."
"Promise me you'll do as I said" asked the younger man again, his breath caressing Daryl's lips. "Promise me you'll get home safe and let Rick help you through this."
Daryl nodded, ignoring his urgent need to scream and express his pain. Paul needed him to be strong, one last time. And he was not going to disappoint him. Because he made a promise.
"I promise you."
"Good."
He let out a shuddering breath, a tired smile never leaving his whitening lips.
"Now I'm gonna need you to close your eyes, babe."
Daryl wanted to scream. To punch something. To rip his heart out with his bare hands. Because nothing would hurt as bad as he was hurting now. But he obeyed, because he had promised Paul.
"I love you" he choked out in a whisper, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence.
"I love you too."
And with a bang, it was all over.
"Would you stop pacing, you're going to give me a headache" groaned Michonne in the living room of their house in Alexandria, looking at her husband walking back and forth in the living room.
"They're still not back" replied Rick, his eyes never leaving the carpet while he was walking in circles. "It's been two hours, and they're still not back."
"Daryl knows what he's doing" assured his wife, trying to calm him down. "He told us to send people if they're not back by sunset. It's not sunset yet."
Just as Rick was opening his mouth to reply, Tara barged in the living room without knocking, her face twisted with worry.
"They're back."
All three practically ran to the gates, that Rosita opened just as quickly. Behind it, Rick could see his brother's form walking towards them, but he could not discern much else with the sun getting low in the sky. Paul looked cradled in his arms, and although Rick could not discern in what shape he was, he felt relief relax his entire body. Daryl had found him.
But just as he was about to run to his brother to help him carry Paul to the infirmary, he saw the young man's arm fall by his side, lifeless, dangling with each of Daryl's steps. He vaguely felt Michonne's hand on his arms, but couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight before him. Daryl's head was bowed, and his shoulders shaking with the effort of carrying his lover's body for God knew how long, and probably because of his heavy sobs. Everything felt wrong, and Rick briefly had another flashback of another time when Daryl was carrying Beth's body the same way. A time where they were all desperate and almost gave up on any hope, giving up to savagery and silent days before finding a community and a place they would eventually call their own. He knew what Daryl was going through, had lived the same thing when Lori had died and yet he was frozen on the spot.
"Rick…" whispered Michonne, her face betraying her sadness. "We need to help him."
It was enough for Rick to realize that more than ever, Daryl needed him by his sides, just like he'd always been with him from the start. Pushing Michonne's hand away and mentioning for her to stay where she was, he walked to Daryl.
"Daryl?" he carefully said once he was face to face with the hunter. "Daryl, can you hear me?"
The other man had stopped walking, his head still bowed down and his hands clutching Paul's lifeless body to his chest. Rick could see blood dripping from the side of the younger man's head, coloring his long hair, and his heart ached at the sight. Daryl's cheeks were red and wet from his tears, and his usually steady arms were trembling so hard that Rick feared he'd eventually collapse.
"He's gone" finally whispered the hunter. "He's gone."
"I know, brother. I know."
He made a move to help Daryl carry Paul but the hunter jumped back, squeezing his lover's body even harder against his chest.
"I just wanna help you carry him" said Rick in a soft voice. "Please, let me help, brother."
And finally, after a few seconds of complete silence, Daryl gave up. He let Rick take Paul, and once his body was secured in the leader's arm, he fell down his knees and let his pain take over. His sobs resonated in the empty space between them and carefully, Rick kneeled as well, laying Paul carefully on the floor between them. As Rick's hands found Daryl's shoulder, the other man bent over his lover and pushed his forehead against Paul's, his tears wetting the deceased man's cheeks. They stayed like this for a while, Rick trying his best to comfort his friend while knowing at the same time that he couldn't do anything to ease the gaping wound inside Daryl's chest, and Daryl crying over his lover's body silently.
And eventually, after what seamed like hours, Daryl found the strength to let go of Paul, straightening his back and whipping off his tears with the back of his hands.
"I need to burry him" he whispered, voice hoarse and face betraying his pain. "He deserves a grave."
"I can help you" replied Rick instantly.
"I need…" Daryl sighed, blinking away the few tears that were threatening to fall from his reddened eyes again. "Yeah. Please."
Nodding, Rick helped him to get up and secured Paul in his arms again, Daryl refusing to let him help with the body no matter how hard he was shaking. He ignored the nausea that twisted his stomach when he saw the scout's motionless and cold head rest just above Daryl's heart, painful reminder that the younger man was gone forever.
"Are you going to be okay?" he finally asked Daryl when the hunter twisted his neck to kiss Paul's forehead tenderly one last time.
Looking up, his face determined despite the dried tears straining his cheeks, Daryl nodded.
"I made a promise. I will be."