Hi guys! This is my first story so I really hope you like it! I have had this idea in my head for the longest time and I decided to do something about it! Enjoy and don't forget to review! xox
Chapter One:
The End of Everything
Elijah Goldsworthy paced the hardwood floor of his bedroom hastily. For once he didn't have to step around the clutter of empty cardboard pizza boxes and piled dirty clothes. In fact his floor was spotless except for the small suitcase in the corner of the room and around it was strewn with clothes.
He slowly and quietly walked over to the suitcase afraid to wake his sleeping family. He reached down to pick up a floral blouse. Eli clutched it with shaky hands and brought it up to his nose taking in the strong lavender scent.
It sent shivers up his spine. How he longed for the real thing. How he longed for Clare in his arms.
He needed to face the facts. Clare would never forgive him. She would never again look in his green emerald eyes with her bright blue ones and whisper softly that she loved him. He would never feel her soft cherry tasting lips move in sync with his. He would never see her bright white smile stretch across her face or hear her contagious laugh ring out.
But no one was to blame except Eli. It was his fault the most important person in his life wanted nothing to do with him. He sat on the edge on his bed clutching her shirt as if he was holding onto her. As if the tighter he held the shirt the longer Clare would stay.
Eli was so lost without her. He was broken and she held him together. There will never be another Clare. That was something he wished he had realized before.
Warm tears descended down his cheeks. He never bothered to wipe the tears away for fear of the shirt disappearing in thin air. Tighter he clutched it with shaky hands.
Eli hated feeling so weak and powerless. He hated that someone could cause him to break down like this.
Ever since the night of Julia's death he vowed never to shed another tear. That night he also believed he'd never find anyone he cared about as much as he had for Julia. The truth is he still cares about Julia. He's still in love with her. That love led to his downfall. It led to the downfall of everything.
In truth loving Julia caused him more pain than he could ever imagine having to bear. The pain tore him apart. It tore his heart to pieces.
Eli knows how the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but sometimes he wishes he never met Julia. He just wishes he never kissed her that night, becoming entranced by her beauty and the fire in her deep chocolate eyes. He wished he never fell under her twisted love spell.
But there was nothing he could even do about it. Julia left her mark. She was forever etched in his being; forever tattooed in his heart.
He heard banging about in the bathroom, the only sound besides his small sobs in the dead silent house.
It was a little after two in the morning. It was not unusual for him to be up at this late time of night or rather early morning, but it was unusual not having Clare snuggled up to him with her head lying gently on his chest. He suffered from insomnia, but he couldn't think of a better way to spend his time then by watching his girlfriend sleep.
He wasn't trying to sound creepy by any means, but it always brought a smile to his face to hear her cute snores or see her smile in her sleep in behalf of a favorable dream. Even when she seemed to be having a nightmare, Eli loved the way her nose would twitch and crinkle up. He would rub soothing circles on her back to calm her back down.
Clare always looked so peaceful in her sleep, never haunted by the memories of a tortured past like Eli happened to be. Eli put off sleeping to prevent the vivid nightmares that visited him each and every tiresome night. Each morning he would wake up panting with a cold sweat dripping on his forehead.
The worst part of it all was the nightmares were his reality. They were all things that had happened to him. He relived it all again every night, letting his dark and morbid imagination fill in the blanks.
His face was streaked with tears that fell haphazardly down his cheeks. His eyes burned feeling as if he had been crying for years, not just mere minutes. Each tear was a reflection of his hurt, the pain he endured, the emptiness of his heart. He felt dead. Nothing mattered anymore.
Suddenly he heard his cell phone buzz sending vibrations down the side table perched next to his bed. He was afraid who it might be. Only few people texted him, mostly Adam and Clare, but he did get the occasional text from Alli threating him of the consequences if he ever broke Clare's heart and sometimes Drew who'd tell him Adam was out.
Then there was her. It was probably her.
He groaned falling back head-first into his pillow. He grabbed fist-fulls of his comforter ignoring the consistent buzzing. Whoever it was didn't matter.
The cotton of the black pillow case clung to his face as he took deep shaky breaths. It seemed the air in the room was fleeting. Each breath he took was labored.
He felt as if sleep would take him over when suddenly someone's dry cough pierced through the blanket of silence.
Eli picked himself up and positioned himself so he was sitting on the corner of his bed. He rubbed his dry eyes vigorously trying to get rid of any indication of his previous breakdown. He sniffled and ran his fingers through his unruly hair.
He looked at the uncomfortable body language of the person standing by his bathroom door. They fidgeted nervously as they toyed with their hair, their curly honey brown locks.
She kept her eyes glued to her shoes, but Eli could tell they glistened with fresh tears. Even though she was dressed in a ratty old sweatshirt and a pair of shorts she looked gorgeous. She was always in his eyes, breathtakingly beautiful.
"Clare," he managed to speak out, his voice hoarse and crackly. Finally she looked up, their eyes connecting.
Eli flipped the light switch having the new found light illuminate Clare's bright blue orbs. She looked just as broken as he felt. He longed to go over and hold her tight, but he knew she would just push him away.
She had every right to be upset with him. She had every right to hate his guts. Eli hated himself right now.
"I guess that's everything," she squeaked out. He looked down to her hands which now held the thin strap of her suitcase.
He shook his head rapidly as his heart beat picked up speed. This was it. The moment Clare walked out of his life forever.
"Clare," he said more firmly as he walked slowly over to her. He reached for her empty hand.
"No. Eli, don't try to change my mind!" Clare yelled heartbreakingly. She ripped her hand away from his grip.
"Don't leave me, Clare. Please! I n-need you," he begged, sadness evident in his voice. Clare gasped as she choked back on tears of her own. She kept her eyes away from his.
Eli gently gripped her chin and pulled it up to him so he could look in her eyes. Tears rolled slowly out of her tired looking eyes and with his thumb he wiped them away.
"You hurt me Eli," Clare whispered. Eli felt his heart break with every word she said.
How could he hurt her? Why?
How does he always manage to hurt the ones he loves?
"I know Clare, I know. But I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. It was a huge mistake!" he yelped.
She shut her eyes tightly as if she was trying to process his words. Thinking is always a good sign, right?
"Forgive me," he said softly. Suddenly her eyes opened wide.
"Did you even love me at all? Did I mean nothing to you? Was this all some sick twisted game?" Clare's shrill voice rang out. Eli managed to choke back his sobs.
"I love you Clare! I do! I really do! You mean everything to me! I' m so sorry!" Eli blubbered. By now he didn't care how desperate he looked. He wanted, no needed Clare back. She shook her head.
The blue eyes that once held sadness now held only one emotion, anger.
"Is this how you show your love?" she yelled. Just as he was about to respond she spoke again, "You're sick Eli!"
Her insult didn't even faze him. She was right.
She grabbed her suitcase and dashed out of his room, her cries the only sound in his silent house. He knew his parents would be angry at him in the morning for the disruptive noise.
Eli followed her out at a quickened pace to find her standing stony still on his lawn. As he approached her figure closer he realized her uneven breathing.
Eli touched her shoulder lightly. She snapped around, glaring at him through teary eyes.
"I'm done. We're done. Just leave me alone Eli," Clare said continuing her way down the lawn. He had nothing left to say to her. Game over.
She stopped in the middle of the street and looked up at him once again.
"Julia might have liked being played, but I don't!" she screamed before sprinting down sidewalk leading to her house.
This scene felt so horridly familiar. A strange feeling of déjà vu washed over him. The screaming, the tears, and the running off, he experienced this all before. There was one difference; Clare wouldn't experience the terrible fate that had happened to Julia right?
He had this awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt bile creeping its way up his throat. He made his way back inside his house and to the bathroom.
He fell to his knees beside the porcelain toilet bowl. He heaved as the contents emptied themselves from their home inside his stomach. Clare was right, he is sick. Only a monster would do what he had to Clare.
Eli sobbed once more as he rested his face against the cool edge of the toilet. He continued to worry about Clare. Worry if she was okay, if she made it home okay. Even though he was sure his attempts to contact her would be in vain he still managed to pick himself up and bring himself to his room.
His phone lay untouched on the wooden table. It blinked signifying the six text messages he had waiting for him. He sighed looking down to see who they were from. There was no name, only ten digits of a phone number he had memorized. It was her, the girl who ruined everything.
Despite his anger, he opened the first one.
Hey I bet you're missing me, it read each letter mocking him.
You know you love me.
You can't get rid of me.
You said forever, remember?
I guess you should keep to one girlfriend at a time. Sorry, but I was here first.
I'll be right over… ;)
He groaned throwing the picture frame nearest to him plummeting to the ground. Shards of broken glass spilled out making small cuts on his bare feet. The sting of the lacerations didn't bother him though. His heart harbored the most pain.
His fingered danced across the key pad as he punched in Clare's number. It rang a few times before he was sent to her voicemail.
"Hey it's Clare Edwards. Sorry I'm too busy to answer the phone. I'll call you back, leave a message!" her sweet voice rang out softly, greeting his ears with the pleasant sound of her laugh at the end of the recorded message.
"Clare, it's Eli. I know you never want to talk to me again, but I need to know you're okay. Please. Just call or text me back. Bye," he ended the call and threw his phone down on his bed.
Suddenly a shrill laugh danced through the air. A figure then emerged from the darkness. Her shadow blanketed the ground.
"Give it up Eli. She's not important," she said her voice menacing. She walked over to him as her arms enveloped around his stiff figure. Slowly and softly she placed her lips against his cheek.
Eli's heart dropped to his stomach. How could he? He was disgusted with himself.
"Forget about her," she whispered, her warm breath dancing across his face. She moved closer and closer until her lips brushed Eli's. She went in for the kiss.
All Eli could think of was how he managed to get into this mess. How he managed to lose Clare. It all started just months ago when the autumn leaves fell around in piles and the Toronto air was chilled. It was a complicated and tragic story how the girl sitting on his bed kissing him came into his life. He wished that day never happened.
That's it for the first chapter. By the way this chapter is actually in the future of the story if you know what I mean. The next chapter will be added soon. Thanks:) Please Review!