Chapter One — Pervy Sage
Two months.
It had been two months since Team Seven's disbandment by tradition, since a seventeen-year old Naruto Uzumaki had been deemed mature enough to advance his career as a shinobi.
It had been two months since his supposed relocation—still pending, apparently—and placement on standby, since he had last been called in for anything beyond the mundane.
And, it had been two months since his last mission, since he had last departed from the safety that the village's standing walls provided him with.
Two, long and boring months.
Sometimes, it was hard to distinguish todays from yesterdays. Running the same old daily routine nearly ritualistically would do that to someone—rise and shine, have a meal at the Ichiraku ramen stand, possibly catch Sasuke or Sakura on their free time, eavesdrop on the Hokage before getting sent away, lights out.
Truthfully speaking, Naruto was a bit jealous of both of his former squad-mates—Sakura had been relocated into a new cell within the week of disbandment, and after a bit of back and forth with the Hokage's advisory unit, Sasuke followed suit not even a month later.
He, on the other hand...
It didn't really bother him at first that the two got placed on teams rather quickly while he remained on standby. Heck, he even congratulated and wished them the best of luck when the time came. But as he waited each day after that, Naruto began to notice that he started to see them around less and less.
They didn't always show up at the places he usually found them hanging around at—maybe they were at home, relaxing or sleeping in. That was understandable, everyone needed some time off for themselves. Two days of no-show in a row got him suspicious, however.
His suspicions were confirmed when he had decided to snoop around the Uchiha compound, with one Sasuke as its only inhabitant. That wasn't exactly the case.
Dead silent—a ghost town.
If Sasuke wasn't home, and was nowhere to be found within the village, then that meant...
Missions.
That alone strummed a chord of envy in Naruto's beating heart—the feeling wasn't all that big, but it was still there. While they were busy with possibly important tasks, he was left to wait, and wait, and wait. But he knew that of course; just refused to believe it to be true was all.
He did his best to ignore that piece of information, but the thought still nagged at him like a stain that refused to wash away. The absence of their presence—the saving grace to spice his day—only served to bitterly remind him of it.
They were off again—Sasuke and Sakura, anyway—so there was no point in staking out for them. Naruto idly swung his legs back and forth, sapphire eyes boring into the contents of his empty serving of ramen. What was next on the list of things to do?
Eavesdrop on the Hokage? Perhaps in a few days; there was nothing new to hear about outside the usual, "I'm busy you brat!" or the disappointing, "sorry kid, nothing yet."
Lights out? It was barely midday, the time when people were most busy. Except him, of course, but that was a given.
In essence, there was absolutely, positively nothing to do for the next—
"Naruto Uzumaki," someone called from behind the shop's flaps. The voice sounded slightly muffled, inadvertently deepening its tone, but was as flat as a board. There were only so many people who actually spoke that way...
Naruto didn't even bother looking back, instead choosing to occupy himself by tracing invisible patterns on the counter with his index finger. "Yeah that's me, who's askin'?" he responded in an unenthused manner.
"Please report to the Hokage Tower at your earliest convenience; Lord Hokage is expecting your presence soon."
His artistic digit stopped mid-doodle, brain slowly processing the words as an audible poof went through one ear and out the other. That certainly was rather unexpected, with the Hokage actually wanting to see him and all. Just yesterday, he was pushed aside with another, yet typical, "shoo, I'm in the middle of a meeting here!" response.
But the last time he was ever called in this way was—
Seriously?
—two months ago.
"For real?" Naruto asked—the slightest hint of hope evident in the question—but the speaker was long gone before he could even turn his head. The only sign that the person was there was a blanket of scattered leaves over the dirt.
"Hell, I'll get there right now!" He hastily fumbled out his frog-shaped wallet—affectionately entitled, 'Gama'—before setting down an arbitrary amount of ryō over the counter. He was much too excited to count, too set on that one-track mind of his to even care about his savings on hand.
"Thanks for the food old man, I got'ta get goin'! See 'ya!" Naruto bolted from his seat before the stand's owner, Teuchi, had a chance to say good-bye to his favorite customer.
The now-energetic shinobi raced through the winding streets and alleys of Konoha, scaling the tallest structures whenever he could. The business drone from down below was quickly replaced with the sound of wind shearing, whipping, buffeting against the round features of his face. It was a struggle to keep his eyes peeled open to avoid a possible flyby accident.
Naruto's pace withered as he neared the tower and academy, taking the rest of the way grounded rather than the rooftops. It seemed to be lunch-time for the academy students as well, judging by the number of children outside within the bounds. His not-so-subtle entry prompted a number of them to look towards the main entrance—most opted to watch with curious eyes, and few waved in greeting before going back to their current business.
He ran up the spiraling hallway before any of the stationed instructors at the academy's front could comment or reprimand him on his reckless antics.
"No running in the halls!"
Or something vaguely akin to that, could be heard through the walls themselves. Big deal, it's not liked it mattered anyway—there was nobody in the way to begin with! So of course it was fine...
As Naruto rounded the final corner, he barreled through the office doorway, letting the door itself slam against the wall with a resounding boom. It was probably a good thing that it was built to withstand odd and destructive entries, given the quirks of a few shinobi in active service.
"Alright Pervy Sage!" he declared in a rather loud tone of voice, "you wanted to see me?"
Among the busy drone of someone diligently flipping through pages and setting books down, a small bit of movement behind the barrier of books cluttered around the Hokage's amber desk was vaguely noticed. Tufts of white hair wold bob up and down once in a while as a few large textbooks thought it appropriate to slide off the mounds of text and onto the floor. Their contents were messily sprawled over the ground, spines facing up towards the ceiling.
"Yeah, something like that," the so-called Pervy Sage replied from the other side, "just hold on a second, will you?"
The room was once more filled with the sounds of book-stacking and page-leafing. It continued for a moment before a tiresome sigh put an end to the dull and boring ambiance it created.
"Ah, forget it... I'll finish it up later."
A tall, white-haired man bearing broad shoulders and semi-clad in the Hokage's official regalia surfaced from the rubble of serious disorganization. One of his hands rested itself on the crook of his hip while the other wearily massaged the gaunt features of his face, no doubt out of distress or irritation.
"Anyway," he finally started after a brief moment of much-needed silence, moving to the front of the desk. "Want to hear the good or the bad news first?"
"Well duh, of course I want to hear the good news first! Come on, come on! What is it?"
"I finally got you off standby—you've been relocated into a two-man cell."
"Awesome!" Naruto whooped as his now-upraised fist dramatically crashed down on his palm to reflect his uncontained excitement. "So what's the next mission, Pervy Sage?"
"Brat, that's the bad news—you're not going to start missions again just yet."
He wasn't going to start missions just yet? What kind of joke was this?
"Wha—you can't be serious! Why not?"
"This is sort of... hm, how would the old man put it?" The Hokage paused for a moment, idly tapping his chin in thought. "Ah, a 'very long-term, team-building exercise.' Yeah, something like that!"
There was a brief moment of silence as the words reached Naruto's ears. What?
"I don't get it," he flatly responded.
The much older man almost laughed at that. "Figured you wouldn't."
"Hey!" Naruto indignantly cried, "what's the real reason anyway? I've waited a long time for this, so why can't I just do missions now? I'm more than ready for whatever you got for me!"
He received a steely look that almost made him regret the words coming from his mouth. Perhaps it wasn't the best of ideas to express such distaste on mission delays.
"Maybe you shouldn't be so worried about why you're not getting missions on the get-go, and instead meditate on the good news that I just told you now. You should at least be considerate that you're off standby. What, do you want to stay on it?"
The notion made him blanch. "No way, it's boring enough as it is!"
"So be happy that you're not going to be bored forever, damn it." The Pervy Sage took a moment to calm his fired-up nerves—that boy really needed to learn a thing or two about appreciation, respect and a bit of modesty. Perhaps she could do that for him, hopefully anyway.
Speaking of which...
"Besides, I think she's rather sweet," he offhandedly commented, "oh, and very polite I must say, unlike a certain someone I know of!"
"She?"
"Oh, is that a problem for you?"
Naruto shrugged. "Nah, just wonderin' who you were talkin' about."
There was another pause as the Hokage leaned against the front of the desk, arms crossed over his chest.
"Anyway, I'm sorry that it took so long for this. If I hadn't had an advisory unit looming over my head and criticizing everything I did, you would've got relocated a month ago at the latest. You wouldn't believe how many candidates I had to go through before we finally came to an agreement."
Naruto nodded dumbly at the Hokage's words, but it did get him thinking a bit. Considering that relocation was probably as simple as putting A and B together, why would it take two entire months just to get matched? Heck, he would even argue that the bastard had much bigger issues, so it should've taken longer for for his relocation. How he only needed to wait a mere month was beyond him.
He didn't have many compatibility issues as far as he was concerned. Sure, it was a long, strange trip dealing with people such as Sasuke during their time as Team Seven, but it somehow worked out in the end.
If that sort of quarreling relationship was indeed possible to resolve, or at the very least, made tame, then anyone would've and should've sufficed.
"So, is she going to be here?" Naruto finally asked.
"Ah, don't you worry. She'll get here sooner than you think."
As he finished, Naruto's ears picked up a small ruckus in the spiral hallway, who had turned around to investigate the incoming source. Not even a moment later, a light-brown haired girl clumsily stumbled into the office—a bit breathless, but still in one piece. A light glare bounced off the rim of the forehead protector—that of which kept her bangs in place—as she gave a ceremonious bow.
"I'm sorry for being late, Master Jiraiya," the girl hastily started, "I left as soon as I could."
Jiraiya—now proper—gave a light-hearted laugh in response to her unnecessary apology. "You didn't have to be in such a hurry, sweetheart. We were just talking about you."
Her cheeks flushed a light pink in minor embarrassment, having thought the summons being of an urgent matter. "Oh..."
"Alright," the Hokage boomed as he relaxed his posture, "go and introduce yourselves, because you're going to be seeing each other. A lot. Better get used to it!"
Naruto—already making his way to the newcomer and now-partner in arms—was quick to break the ice. "Yo! The name's Naruto Uzumaki, nice to meet 'ya!" He extended a hand in a welcoming gesture, shooting a friendly and disarming smile in her direction.
The girl almost seemed hesitant to return the gesture, but she slowly offered her hand after seeing his rather cheerful disposition. "Akane Mishima... it's nice to meet you, too." She had to look up to meet his gaze, being nearly an entire head shorter than he was.
Naruto gave two confident shakes when their hands came together—his grip firm and hers a tad bit loose. He was careful to not squeeze Akane's hand on accident, seeing as how hers were lithe and soft in contrast to his own, calloused and slightly tough. It almost felt like as if they were...
...fragile, in a sense.
It felt a bit weird, exchanging a handshake with someone who didn't have similar hands or grip. Probably wasn't just a girl thing, seeing as how Sakura's grip was as good as his, if not better, last time he checked.
Yeah, she had a very strong grip.
He released the gesture soon after, still smiling all the while as he put both hands behind his head.
Jiraiya cleared his throat, already making an attempt to dismiss them with a wave. "Oh, and play nice you two! Otherwise we're going to have some problems that I don't want to deal with."
Disclaiming Naruto and Kämpfer. Rating subject to change.