Sirius pleaded with her again in his deep, silky voice, "Come on Lils, don't make him go stag." Which for some reason made them all fall about laughing. She glared at each of them in turn, but Remus was the only one it appeared to have any effect on; while the rest ignored her reproachful gaze he looked sheepish and turned back to his book.
"It's alright for you" snickered Peter as they all calmed down, "you usually end up dogging some poor girl you hardly know". She was mystified when this set them off again. Boys had the strangest sense of humour.
"Peter. You, my friend" the corners of Remus's mouth twitched upwards although he still gave every appearance of being engrossed in his book "are a rat."
There were tears running down James's cheeks and he removed his glasses to wipe them away while choking out "Moony, we all know you're just upset about your furry little problem."
Lily huffed and walked out of the dorm, slamming the door a little harder behind her than was necessary. She often felt excluded from all their private jokes, but they never would explain them to her, and she refused to let her charade of nonchalance slip enough to reveal how much she truly yearned to be included, accepted among James's friends. She had grown to like them, though she would never admit it, and she felt a slight betrayal on James's part for not - what? Trusting her, perhaps? Not caring about her enough to want to confide in her, to let her in. She heard the door creak open around the corner from where she leaned against the stairwell wall, and hoped it was James come to see where she was. She could use the company. But it was just Remus. She liked him very much; he was certainly the most kind, not to mention sensible of the four. There was a time when he would've been the only one she could even vaguely picture herself tolerating, but much of the gang's cool-guys façade was just that; fake. There were gentle and friendly souls beneath the cocky exteriors, though they were of course, still boys.
"I'm sorry, Lily. It must seem we are always going on about these inside jokes we have. You probably think James doesn't like you enough to want you integrated with his friends, but I promise that isn't it." She stared at him, perplexed. How was it that he could read her so well? She didn't know whether he was like this with everyone, or if the connection she felt with him was special because of the many ways they could relate to one another.
"The problem is, the puns and jests are based on, well certain things that can't be public knowledge, and it isn't that he doesn't trust you to share them with, but they aren't all his secrets to tell." His eyes implored her to understand, and she felt her heart go out to him.
"Sure, I get it." She smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks Remus, you always know exactly what to say." She turned to go; she had some transfiguration homework to complete before she could go to bed.
"Wait." He muttered, capturing her arm so that she spun back to face him. "I can make this easier. There is something... A big thing actually, that James mentioned he wished you could know, and I can solve that problem." Her eyes widened - was she about to be enlightened about some huge secret that James' life centred around?!
Remus took a deep breath, staring at the floor. "I'm a werewolf." He whispered in a raspy voice. Lily stared at him. He glanced up and met her eyes briefly, giving her every impression of sincerity, but, apparently not liking what he found there, immediately returned his gaze to his shoes.
"But - but people would realise. I would have realised." She spluttered out eventually. He gave her a measured look.
"I've tried my level best to keep it on the down-low. I wish the same could be said for my friends, but don't beat yourself up."
"Does Dumbledore know?" She hissed, bewildered.
He nodded his head furiously. "Yes. He's the one who made all the arrangements that meant I could come here." He admitted, the gratitude apparent on his face.
"I- I can't.." She was having trouble formulating words, there were so many questions.
"I know. But you should talk to James about this. He's the one who wanted you to find out from me, but I'm sure you must have plenty of queries, and there's more you should know."
Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "More?!" She practically screeched. "How can there be more? How have I gone so long without-"
"I know, I'm so sorry Lily. I promise that none of us were keeping this from you deliberately, but- you know, it's-"
At that moment James appeared out of their room, frowning. "What's going on? I heard yelling. Is everything alright, Lils?" he turned to her, a question on his face.
"I told her." Remus garbled, almost indecipherable as it came out a single word.
James turned an awestruck gaze upon Lily, who was somewhat perturbed by this, as Remus scarpered back to the dorm, throwing a nervous glance over his shoulder and closing the door behind him. What right did James have to look so unnerved when it was she who had just found out that her friend, one of her boyfriend's BEST friends was a goddamn werewolf?! She grabbed his hand and dragged him down to the common room; empty but for a half-asleep first year who quickly disappeared under Lily's menacing stare. She pushed James down into the newly vacated chair and started pacing. He still had that look of a rabbit caught in headlights; the cheek of it.
"So Remus is a werewolf." She blurted out, abruptly ceasing her restless movements. James nodded warily, eyeing her like a bomb that could very well detonate imminently.
"So that's where you all disappear to on your monthly 'ramble'." She sighed. James bit his lip. She wished he wouldn't; it made her want to kiss the tension out of him, and she was trying to be angry at him right now. She sank down into a couch across the room. "I just feel so stupid for not working it out." She confessed, in a voice so quiet she wasn't sure he'd heard her. Apparently he had, though as he approached her gently and sat on the sofa with her, leaving a little space between them but taking her hand gently in his.
"It's not stupid, Lil. We make daft jokes about it, but we're careful. I'm sorry that I hid it from you, but I didn't feel like-"
"I know, I know - it wasn't your secret to tell."
He nodded thoughtfully, and she reached out unconsciously and pushed his glasses back up from the bridge of his nose, where they were always falling down to so endearingly.
"Remus implied that there was... More?" She prompted softly, and she felt his gaze snap up to hers.
"Right." He exhaled. "This is the part you might be mad about.."
"Wait. I wasn't supposed to be mad about that part?" She asked incredulously.
"Well, sure. But this involves me a lot more directly, so you'll probably be upset about me not telling you, for one thing, and for another it's not entirely... That is to say, it's a grey area about the actual... Legality of the situation." He was mumbling now, the statement that actually meant anything almost unintelligible. Almost.
"James Potter. Are you telling me you have been engaging in illegal activities regularly and not seen fit to so much as mention it to me?!" She thundered. He winced at the volume, or perhaps the implications, and gestured at her hastily to keep her voice down.
"Okay, I'm going to tell you everything." He began, rather patronisingly, "and you have every right to be concerned, but please let me finish. Can you do that?" She hesitated, before making an affirmative noise, not trusting herself to speak for fear of another outburst. He let out a distinct sigh of relief at her compliance, and she unwittingly released a small laugh in spite of herself. The atmosphere from then on was much more relaxed, as he proceeded to explain to her how he, Sirius and Peter had worked out the method to turn themselves into Animagi, becoming a stag, dog and rat respectively during the period of the full moon in order to make the time more bearable for Remus, and to ensure he didn't do anything he would regret. At this point Lily did interrupt as she interpreted the earlier word-play involving their chosen animals, and thought back to other incidences of similar jests she had at the time missed, or pondered over, unable to decipher any meaning. She tried insisting that he demonstrate the change for her then and there, but be assured her it was too risky and that he would gladly perform for her with his ability at the first decent opportunity. He evidently understood how much it was for her to take in, and apologised profusely for keeping it from her for so long before saying goodnight and rising from the sofa, stretching his arms up above his head in an enormous yawn. She didn't let him go that easily, rising up to meet him for a deep, passionate kiss; partly because she knew it had been difficult for him to sit and answer all her questions, sharing this private part of his life with her, and also because when he reached up like that he exhibited a thin strip of toned flesh that made it nearly impossible for her to resist him. She went up on tiptoes and ran her hand through his intricately styled hair simply because she was the only one who he would allow to do so, and his fingers rubbed circles in the small of her back. He pulled away and smiled goofily down at her, a contagious look that had the corners of her mouth twitching upward in response as she sighed contentedly. He pecked her on the forehead and trudged off to the boys' dorms, turning for a last look to find her still gazing after him. She blushed and quickly darted into the opposite stairwell, making it around the corner before allowing her features to spread into a fully-fledged grin. She scampered up the stairs and collapsed straight onto her bed, to dream of becoming a doe and living in the forbidden forest, bewitching a rogue stag whose fur lay in perpetual yet charming disarray.