Temptation
By Sapadu
A/N: Apparently, people really liked my one-shot 'Prejudice'. So, I decided to write another one. This one is a little more humorous than the last, but still has kind of a point to it. Or maybe I just really like these two characters.
"What are little boys made of?/ What are little boys made of?/ Snips and snails/ And puppy dogs tails/ That's what little boys are made of"
-"What All the World is Made Of" Burton Stevenson
Ben's brain was still bogling at the prospect that sat before him. Even after several minutes of gaping at Ken and the two, steaming four-liter cartons resting on the table, he still couldn't wrap his brain around the notion- it just wasn't possible. Everyone in the galaxy had to have done this, at least once- even his dad had, and HE'D grown up on a desert planet, for crying out loud.
"You've NEVER had ice cream before?" Ben finally asked, one last time if only to check that his ears hadn't decieved him the first. The older Jedi's smirk spread.
"Not once." Ken confirmed. Ben continued to gape before his brain finally shut down and gave up on trying to understand.
"Give me a spoon and let a master show you how it's done." Ben finally declared. Ken produced two spoons and tossed one to Ben, shoving one of the two cartons in his direction. Ben opened it with a flourish, the smell of mint raising in it's frosty glory and Ben's spoon diving in with precise direction. He could see Ken mimic the gesture, though with slightly less enthusiasm and as such, lifting a much smaller spoonful from his carton.
"So, dig, scoop, lift, chew. Pretty simple, huh?" Ben finally concluded after the first bite. Ken stared back at him, mutely, until he finished swallowing. For that, Ben couldn't blame him- Ken was an adult and adults never knew how to play with their food.
"Repeat as necessary?" Ken finally asked, even as Ben dug in for his next scoop. Ben only managed a nod as his next bite left no room in his mouth to even grunt, "Well, thanks for making me feel like an idiot, now."
"Iff naw muy fawt." Ben snapped through a mouthful of mint and chocolate. Ken just kept smirking and rolling his next spoonful into a perfect little scoop before taking a bite.
"So, your day hasn't been bad so far? Any teachers torture you with classes?" Ken finally asked as Ben started on his fourth bite. Ben shrugged as he tried to get as many chocolate chips onto his spoon as possible.
"No teachers, but Mom and Dad tried to get me down for one of their 'Talks'." Ben complained. Ken lifted his spoon to his mouth, but paused at Ben's words.
"What kind of talk? Parent stuff?" He asked. Ben expressionlessly continued to dig into his carton- the sugar seemed to be helping in at least keeping him from being too grumpy at the memory of his parent's nosing into his life.
"Actually, it was more of a lecture about the Dark Side." Ben groused, "Stuff I've heard already, but they insist on repeating just in case my teachers missed a spot." Ken jabbed his spoon into his ice cream as Ben dug in. So far, Ben was on his eighth bite and Ken hadn't even gotten to his third.
"Well, I can see where your parents would be a little concerned, given the family history." Ken finally noted, lifting a scoop to his lips. Ben's expression soured.
"You're the one who said I'm not my parents- that I'm not my dad or my grandpa, but that I was me." He muttered, sullenly. Ken took his time licking his spoon clean.
"Yeah, I know where you're coming from there." He agreed, "My mom did the same thing when I was your age." Ben frowned as he shoveled more ice cream into his mouth, "The Force stuff, I mean."
"Seriously?" Ben asked. Ken's upper lip curled in a snort.
"Oh yeah..." He confirmed, before a thoughtful pause, "But the way she did it... I dunno, it was just goofy. She almost made the Dark Side into a joke, to hear her talk about it." Ben had to give this consideration before his curiosity finally got the better of him.
"How?" Ken could not have looked more delighted that Ben had asked, because he pushed his carton of ice cream away, sat straight up, and screwed his voice up into a falsetto pitch that could not have possibly been anything like his mother's real voice.
"Now, Ken, listen carefully- the Dark Side is made out of two things. They are selfishness and peer pressure." Ben kept chomping away, though distracted by Ken's poor imitation, "Pretend that I'm Skywalker and this is his girlfriend, okay?" Ken picked up his carton of ice cream and used the lid like a puppet's mouth, "Ani, how was your day? It SUCKED- the stupid council's still treating me like a baby. Well, maybe if you were nicer to them-... No, I don't WANNA- I wanna be strong and powerful all by myself." Ben had to put down his spoon and stop eating- while the words were painfully close to what he'd read about his grandfather's decent to the Dark Side, the ridiculous, exaggerated manner Ken had chosen was too hard to keep a straight face with.
"But they're just trying to help you, Ani. You're cheating on me with my master. What- where'd you get that idea? You gotta be, 'cuz you're disagreeing with me. Ani, you're being a real bastard right now. Yeah, well, I'm all powerful and you're mine, so there!" At this point Ken pantomimed squeezing the carton of ice cream like a chokehold, his expression sour and angry almost like a child having a tantrum. Ben started to cough from laughing so hard.
"That's what my mother said was the selfishness part. D'you wanna hear what she said the peer pressure part was?" Ben took a few deep breaths before he sat up again and met Ken's eyes, nodding. Ken was grinning, but put his ice cream down and pointed at Ben with his spoon, "Okay, I'll be the sith and I'm trying to make you turn."
Ben scooted forward in his seat, waiting. Ken took a deep breath before he started.
"Hey, Ben- you should join the Dark Side, man." Ken's voice had dropped a pitch, obviously in a mocking attempt to be chummy. Ben's lips twisted as he fought to keep a straight face before he responded.
"No- the Dark Side is bad." He argued. Ken puffed himself up.
"Aw, c'mon- all the cool kids are doing it." Ben tried even harder not to grin.
"Good for them- I'm cool without having to do it." If the words had been replaced, they could have just as easily been doing a simulation on saying no to drugs or sex or some other bad choice. Ken had been right- it was almost making a joke out of the Dark Side.
"Yeah, well, if you don't turn, I'm not gonna be your friend anymore." Ken snapped back, making his voice go lower and lower as he did. Ben did his best to make his responses mouthier.
"I don't wanna be your friend if you're this much of a jerk." Ben retorted.
"Did you just call me a jerk?" Ken demanded, puffing up in exaggerated fury. Ben stuck his tongue out.
"Yeah, I did. Whattya gonna do about it?" He demanded. Ken started to pout.
"I'm gonna kill your whole family, 'cuz you're not my friend anymore." Just like that, the mock conversation had taken a bit of a darker turn. Ben blinked, thought a moment on what he should respond to that, but Ken didn't give him a chance to argue, "Yeah- that was how my mom got me. But she made her point."
Ken settled back in his chair and picked up his spoon again. Ben did the same, though he took what must have been worth four of Ken's spoonfuls, before he finally spoke up.
"Your mom didn't take the whole Dark Side thing very seriously, did she?" He asked. Ken distractedly played with his spoon.
"There was a LOT that my mother didn't take seriously, just about being a Jedi in general. I'm not kidding- if screwing around and goofing off were a Force-power, she would have been the Grand High Master of Them All." Ben swallowed his mouthful just in time to keep from choking as he guffawed at that.
Ken smiled, then contemplated a more serious statement.
"Still, I get the feeling she left something out." Ben looked up from his carton, spoon hanging out of his mouth, "She was dead-on about selfishness and succumbing to the ease of it... but I can't help but think there's a third ingredient she left out."
Ben swallowed his ice cream, then absentmindedly scooped out another spoonful or three, eyes still fixed on Ken.
"What do you mean?" He asked, his spoon slipping past his lips. Ken lifted his spoon up, staring at the upside-down reflection in it's concave side.
"The Dark Side..." Ken finally said, "Is made of Selfishness, Peer-Pressure..." He paused for effect, "And a whole gallon of ice cream."
Ben could feel his entire face just pull itself into a bizarre expression. He opened his mouth to ask Ken exactly what he meant by that, but it was halted by a wave of nausea. The corners of Ben's mouth pulled down and his lip sealed shut as his throat constricted. Something in his midsection was twisting, but expanding at the same time, like someone had stuffed a balloon down his esophagus, blew it up, and then twisted it into an animal shape.
Ken leaned over and peered at Ben.
"We wouldn't be having a TUMMY ACHE, would we?" He asked, voice high and obviously delighted with this. Ben bent over double, clutching at his stomach before he managed to glare at the older Jedi.
"That... was... low." Ben growled.
"So, what have we learned today?" Ken asked as Ben reclined on the couch, still using the royal 'we' with evident delight.
"...That you're a lying, dirty, underhanded, manipulative..." Ben paused to consider a few more adjectives to describe his displeasure with his friend right now, but Ken interrupted.
"What have we learned that doesn't concern your stomachache?" He clarified. Ben made an exaggerated show of flipping Ken off- not a skill he would have displayed to his father, but still useful enough for this kind of situation, "You might want to keep that sheathed unless you want to join your father in the prosthetic limbs department."
Ben put his hand back down.
"The path of the Dark Side is thinking that the world revolves around you, taking the easy route that others have already trodden because it doesn't take as much effort as thinking for yourself and making the right choices, and giving into temptation because it seems like a good idea but you don't consider the consequences." Ben finally managed, at length. Ken smiled.
"Very good." He praised, "But a little ice cream now and then isn't going to kill anyone. Who knows- it might be the only choice you have left, other than starving."
Ben considered this metaphor.
"...Like... using a little Dark Side energy to slice of the head of some guy who's holding a doomsday button that destroys the entire galaxy when he pushes it?" He asked. Anything to distract him from the throbbing in his abdomen. Ken shrugged.
"Something like that, yeah."
Ben glowered at Ken for a moment.
"Ken..." He began, slowly. The older man raised his eyebrows.
"Mmm?"
"...Did Dad put you up to this?" Ben's eyes narrowed, suspiciously, even as Ken leaned back onto his hands, his lips puckering as though he were trying not to smile.
"You wouldn't sit still for HIS lecture- it seemed like the best route." Ken shrugged.
Ben was silent for a long moment.
"....You SUCK!"
A/N: What is the Dark Side made of? What is the Dark Side made of? Selfishness and yielding, and tempting gallons of ice cream. That's what the Dark Side is made of.
....yeah...